AFTER LISA LEFT, Nicole came out of the kitchen. “You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question.
Claire didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry,” she began.
Nicole shook her head, then handed over a pint of ice cream. “Don’t apologize. You have to go. It’s where you belong.”
“I don’t agree with that, but it’s where I have to face my demons.”
“You have mutant hands,” Nicole teased. “You’ll beat those demons for sure. But just because you’re leaving doesn’t mean you have to stay gone.”
“I know.” Claire fought tears. “I meant what I said. I want to get a place here. You’ll get sick of me.”
“Maybe, but I can handle it.” Nicole handed her a spoon. “How does it feel to be in charge of Lisa?”
“I don’t know. Scary, but in a good way. It only took me twenty-eight years to figure out how to be a grown-up.”
They moved to the sofa and dug into their ice cream. Claire wondered how it was possible to be both excited and sad about her future. She felt the need to start practicing right away, to know what music she would be playing. She was also thrilled about the baby. But there was also the pain of leaving Seattle and her sisters, not to mention Wyatt and Amy. Speaking of her sisters…
She licked her spoon. “You have to forgive Jesse. Not right away, but eventually. She’s family.”
Nicole took another bite of her Cherry Garcia. “Did I ever mention that she and Wyatt had a brief but highly passionate weekend together? Amy was off at camp. They headed to a B and B on the San Juan Islands. I heard they nearly set the place on fire.”
The ice cream formed a hard knot in Claire’s stomach, which felt worse than wanting to throw up. Her skin got really hot, while a sense of anger and betrayal crawled through her body. She wanted to scream. She wanted to rip Jesse’s hair out.
“When?” she asked, her throat thick with pain.
Nicole took another bite. “Gotcha.”
Claire blinked. “What?”
Nicole looked at her. “It didn’t happen. I wanted you to experience about a tenth of what it felt like to find Jesse, the person I loved and trusted most in the world, in bed with my husband and then ask you if you still thought I had to forgive her.”
Relief rushed through Claire. She thought about being angry with Nicole, but she totally got her point. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I won’t mention forgiving Jesse again. You have to deal with that in your own way.”
“Thank you.” Nicole sighed. “You’re right, though. I can’t stay angry forever. It’s going to end up hurting me more than her. But I’m comfortable being really pissed for the next few weeks.”
“The hits keep on coming,” Claire said, knowing Drew hadn’t been the only hurt. Jesse’s stealing the family recipe had made things worse.
“I’m swearing off men,” Nicole told her. “Pretty much forever. I don’t care who the guy is or how he tempts me, I’m not giving in.”
“Never say never.”
“Watch me.”
Claire smiled. “I will, because it will be great fun to say ‘I told you so’ to you.”
They ate more ice cream, then Nicole said, “I’m sorry about Wyatt. That he’s being such a jerk.”
“I appreciate that.” Claire wasn’t sure what to think about all that had happened. “I wish things had gone differently. I wish he could love me back.” She managed to get the words out without her voice cracking. Improvement, she thought. But she still had a long way to go.
“Love sucks,” Nicole said.
“No. But it’s not always easy. I can’t regret loving Wyatt and Amy. I tell myself the big hole inside of me will eventually heal. I’m better for having known and loved him.”
“You’re being really mature. It’s kind of annoying.”
Claire smiled. “Thanks. I’ve grown a lot in the past couple of months.”
“You’ve done good. You’re not a useless ice princess anymore.”
“I was never that.”
Nicole grinned. “See. You’re standing up for yourself and everything. You’re a regular person, with gifts and flaws.”
“And a baby,” Claire said, knowing that was the greatest gift of all.
CLAIRE WAITED until she was sure Amy would be in bed before going over to Wyatt’s. She parked in the driveway, then walked up to the wide, double door and knocked. She had her car keys in her pocket and a legal-size envelope in her hands. Unfinished business, she thought sadly. Too bad there weren’t documents that could fix her broken heart.
He opened the door. “Claire.”
She stared at him, trying to memorize everything about his face. The deep color of his eyes, the shape of his mouth. Would their baby have his features or hers? Would people look at the child and know Wyatt was the father by the way he or she smiled?
“This won’t take long,” she said. “I didn’t call first. I was afraid you wouldn’t see me.”
“I’m not hiding from you.” He stepped back to let her in.
“You’re not exactly trying to find me, either.”
He led the way into the family room. Neither of them sat.
“You here to finish what Nicole started?” he asked, sounding more curious than worried.
Claire welcomed the memory of her sister standing up for her. “No. I’m here to give you this.” She handed him the envelope. “I had my lawyer prepare the documents. They’re straightforward enough, but I suggest you get your own legal counsel to look them over. The basic idea is once you sign, you will have no legal or financial responsibility for the baby. I’ll never ask for anything. Not that I would, but this should give you peace of mind. It will be like it never happened.”
Wyatt dropped the envelope onto the coffee table. Is that what he wanted? This to have never happened?
“Look,” he began, not sure what he wanted to say. “I know you’re not Shanna, but this is a lot to deal with.”
“You don’t have to deal at all. That’s the point.”
“Is that what you want?”
She folded her arms across her chest. “Why does that matter?”
“Because we’re both involved. Because I want to know where you see this going.”
What did she expect from him. Marriage? In his head, he balked at the idea. He should be running in the opposite direction. But maybe it wouldn’t be so horrible. Claire wasn’t the woman he’d thought. She cared about people. Amy was crazy about her.
“I want it all,” Claire told him. “I want the happily ever after fantasy. I want you to love me with every cell in your body. I want us to be a family. You, me, Amy, the baby, more kids. I want forever.”
He swallowed and tried not to feel the walls closing in.
“I love you,” she said, staring him in the eye. “All of you. Even when you’re a total jerk. But you don’t love me back. You’ve made that clear, and I won’t settle for less. So I’m leaving. It’s time for me to go back to New York, anyway.”
His mind was completely blank. He didn’t have a single thought. Then they crashed in on him, making it impossible to focus on anything.
She loved him? Seriously? She said it just like that? And she was leaving? “You can’t,” he told her, not sure if he was telling her she couldn’t go or she couldn’t love him.
“I’m going to keep in touch with Amy,” she said as if he hadn’t spoken. “I hope you won’t have a problem with that. She’s wonderful and there’s no reason why she and I can’t have a relationship.” She paused and swallowed. “I hope you find whatever you’re looking for. I hope…”
She bit her lower lip, squared her shoulders and raised her chin. “Goodbye, Wyatt.”
Then she was gone. She told him she loved him and she’d left anyway. They all left, so he was used to it. But this was the first time he would be sorry.
“YOU HAVE TO PROMISE,” Amy signed.
“I promise,” Claire told her, then hugged her. “I’ll be back for your surgery.”
“I want to hear your music.”
“You will.” Claire straightened and hugged Nicole. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right by yourself? I worry about you.”
“I’m fine,” her sister told her. “I’m practically breaking land-speed records on my crutches. I’m going back to work where I can terrorize my staff. It will be fun. I’ll barely notice you’re gone.”
But there were tears in Nicole’s eyes as she spoke. Probably like the tears Claire could feel burning in her own.
“I hate this,” she muttered.
“It’s the right thing to do. Just don’t stay gone long.”
“I won’t. I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“Unlikely.”
“Don’t argue,” Nicole sniffed. “I’m two minutes older.”
Claire nodded, then hugged Amy again. “I love you.”
Amy started to cry, then signed that she loved Claire.
“This is crazy,” Claire muttered as she straightened. “We’re all going to be puffy. We have to stop.”
“You have to go. Call me when you land.”
“It’ll be four in the morning.”
“I don’t care. Call me.”
“I will.”
Claire got into her rental car and started the engine. Still fighting tears, she headed for the freeway, then the airport. She was catching a late-evening flight to New York. Back home, she thought. Except she was leaving her heart in Seattle, so how could anywhere else ever be home?
WYATT PUT DOWN his empty beer bottle. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Don’t ask me,” Drew told him from across the table in the bar. “I know shit about women. I lost Nicole.”
“That was your own damn fault.”
“And this isn’t yours?”
Wyatt didn’t like that his stepbrother was actually making sense. It was his fault that Claire had asked him to sign away his parental rights. Why would she think he would care about their baby? He’d done nothing but accuse her of trying to trap him and complain about what a disaster the pregnancy was.
“I needed more time,” he muttered.
“To do what?” Drew asked. “Nothing’s going to change.”
He might. A baby. He’d never thought of having another child. He had Amy and she was everything to him. What child could be more?
That was his head talking, he reminded himself. In his heart, he knew he could love another kid. Maybe more. But he’d never let himself go there because he hadn’t believed it could ever work out. His relationships with women were always disasters. It was his genetics at play.
He looked at Drew. “How’d you get someone like Nicole to fall for you?”
“I don’t have a clue.”
“Why’d you cheat on her?”
Drew shrugged. “Jesse was always there, prancing around in her little clothes.”
“I don’t believe it.”
Drew took another long drink of his beer. “I couldn’t be what Nic wanted me to be. I kept seeing disappointment in her eyes. She never said anything, but it was there. I couldn’t stand it.”
“So you decided to disappoint her more?”
“I don’t know. I’m just telling you what I was thinking when I tried to screw Jesse.”
Wyatt wanted to dismiss Drew’s words, but he knew what his brother was talking about. He’d seen the same disappointment in Claire’s eyes when he hadn’t been happy about the baby.
“She told me it can be like it never happened,” Wyatt said.
“The baby? So that’s good.”
“I can’t walk away from my kid.”
“Then you have a problem.”
Worse, he wasn’t sure he could walk away from Claire.
“I could almost see myself with her,” he mumbled.
Drew signaled for another beer. “That proposal will make her heart beat faster.”
“You know what I mean. I’ve never been able to see myself with anyone.” He finished his beer. “Who am I kidding? It’ll never happen.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Drew told him. “It’s an excuse not to try. No one else in this family has ever been able to hold a job for more than a year. You’ve got a business. You’re raising a great kid. Do you really believe you can’t have a decent marriage?”
Wyatt nearly fell off his chair. “Are you being insightful again?”
“Yeah, don’t tell anyone. It doesn’t happen all that often. Look, Wyatt, you’ve stood by me when no one else would. You’ve given me a job and you didn’t kill me when I cheated on Nicole. I don’t have what you have. I lost her. I know that. But you still have a chance. Don’t be an idiot.”
“Words to live by,” Wyatt muttered, then stood. “I gotta make a call.”
He walked out into the cool night and pulled out his cell phone.
“It’s me,” he said when Nicole answered. “I need to talk to Claire and don’t tell me I can’t. This isn’t your business.”
“I agree, but you still can’t talk to her. She’s not here. She left a couple of hours ago.”
He went very still. “For where.”
“New York.”
He couldn’t believe it. “She left without saying goodbye?”
“You made it clear you didn’t want to have anything to do with her. She believed you. The fact that she left shouldn’t be a surprise at all, Wyatt. It’s what you wanted.”