Miranda was the last to arrive at Heidi’s parents’ vacation home on Lake Michigan. Every summer since college, the four friends had converged here for a long weekend of excessive eating, drinking, and general indulgence while catching up on each other’s lives. Last year, however, Miranda had missed their annual reunion because of her father’s illness.
As she carried her suitcase to the yellow cottage with dark green shutters, Heidi, Kate, and Isadora—whom everyone called Izzy—hailed her from the porch. Izzy waved a half-empty bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.
“We thought you got lost.” Heidi jumped up to hug Miranda. She looked exactly like someone named Heidi should: plump, blond, blue-eyed, and rosy-cheeked, with a wide grin and generous manner.
“I got a late start,” Miranda explained. “Last night was beyond belief.”
Kate laughed and hugged her next. “I can’t wait to hear about it.” Half a head shorter than Miranda and delicate as a bird, Kate’s pixie haircut and sprinkling of freckles made her look like a ten-year-old girl instead of the insurance executive she was.
“I like the purple streaks,” Izzy said, tugging a lock of Miranda’s hair. Her own hair blazed poppy-red and hung nearly to her pencil-thin waist. In her turquoise bikini, she appeared to have lost at least twenty pounds since the last time Miranda saw her.
“Look at you. You’re as skinny as a fashion model,” Miranda said.
Izzy shrugged. “Too much stress, the divorce and all. Plus I started smoking again.”
“We’re going to fatten her up this weekend,” Heidi promised. She pulled up a wicker chair for Miranda and the four women settled themselves on the porch overlooking the lake, feet propped on the railing.
Izzy poured a glass of wine for Miranda. “You’ve got some catching up to do—we’re way ahead of you.”
“So what else have I missed?” Miranda asked.
“Oh, lots,” Kate said. “We’re swapping stories of our recent fucks.”
“Heidi was telling us about her highland fling with a Scottish bagpipe player when you drove up,” Izzy said, lighting a cigarette.
“Start back at the beginning,” Miranda insisted. “I want to hear everything.”
“It was a dark and foggy night,” Heidi began in a dramatic tone. “Unseasonably warm for March in Scotland. I’d just met this guy who played bagpipes. Handsome bearded chap. Wore a kilt and everything.” She paused to drink some wine before continuing. “Anyway, we had dinner together and during the course of our conversation, I mentioned an old castle perched high on a bluff above the ocean. I’d seen it from the road and asked him about it. He offered to give me a private guided tour. We hiked around the grounds in the moonlight, overgrown gardens with naked statues and fountains and such. Did I mention there was a full moon? The castle was kind of dilapidated, obviously vacant a long time, but still beautiful and eerie with the fog drifting in off the ocean. I could hear the waves breaking on the shore below, and the sound of a foghorn in the distance. It was so damned romantic.”
“And you couldn’t restrain yourself. You simply had to find out whether it’s true what they say about men in kilts not wearing knickers,” Izzy teased.
Heidi giggled. “When we started across an old wooden bridge over a moat, I reached under his kilt and…”
“And what?” Miranda prompted.
“No knickers!”
The four women laughed and clinked their wine glasses together.
“We did it right there on the bridge,” Heidi said. “Afterwards, I had about a zillion splinters in my butt. He had to pull them out, one by one, with tweezers.”
“It was worth it though, right?” Kate asked.
“Oh, yes. Definitely. But here’s the best part—he blew me with the bagpipes.”
Izzy ground out her cigarette. “This I’ve got to hear.”
“He held one of the pipes between my legs and played this lively jig. Let me tell you girls, the air coming out of that pipe, the music and the vibration, and knowing his hot breath made it all happen, well, it was the most amazing sex toy.”
“Oh my God,” Miranda howled, and her companions joined in.
Izzy topped off their glasses, emptying the bottle. “That’s the end of this one.
Fortunately, there’s plenty more where this came from.” She went inside and returned with a full bottle, plus a jar of cashews and a bag of potato chips.
“You’re next, Izzy,” Heidi prompted. “What’s it like being a free woman again after years of married life?”
“Well… I did my first three-way. Sort of.”
“Sort of?” Kate asked.
“There’s this guy in my office I’ve always been hot for, so now that Paul’s history, I invited him over for a drink. One thing led to another…”
“It usually does,” Kate said.
“We’re just getting into it when his cell phone rings and he answers it. I’m thinking you asshole when he says it’s his best friend and suggests we let him in on the action. He hands me the phone and says, ‘Here, you talk to him.’ So his friend starts talking dirty to me and, well, I kinda liked it. It was fun having one guy doing me and another one talking me off.”
Miranda grabbed a handful of nuts. “I guess that counts as a two-fer.”
“I took pictures of us with the phone, too, so his friend could see us.”
“No way!” Heidi shrieked, laughing.
“Yeah, really,” Izzy admitted.
“Makes me think maybe getting divorced isn’t such a bad thing,” Kate said.
Izzy shook her head. “Trust me, it is. Divorce sucks big time.”
Kate squeezed Izzy’s hand. “Sorry, Iz. I know you’ve been through hell. But now that it’s over, I hope you have the fun you deserve.”
“Hear, hear,” Miranda said and the women clinked glasses again.
“Miranda, we haven’t heard about your trip yet,” Heidi said. “Of course we’ll expect a full report before the weekend’s out, but right now, inquiring minds want to know about the men you’ve met along the way.”
Watching the sun sink into the lake, Miranda considered where to begin. “There’s so much to tell, this could be a whole book.”
“We’re all ears,” Izzy said. “How about starting with last night?”
“Okay. I don’t think any of you’ve ever met him, but you remember me telling you about my dad’s old friend, Zeke? The one who used to be a musician and now is a lawyer for mobsters in Chicago?”
“You did Zeke?” Heidi asked, her blue eyes wide with surprise.
“Not quite.” Miranda described the extended foreplay session that ended abruptly when the building caught fire.
Izzy fanned herself with her hands. “Whew, you must’ve been generating some kinda heat, girlfriend!”
All four burst into giggles. When they recovered, Kate said, “Speaking of mobsters. I met a guy at a boat show in Los Angeles a few months ago. Handsome, sexy, Italian guy, early forties. Designer suit, diamond ring, Rolex, very bling-bling. We hit it off immediately and I ended up spending the night in his suite at the Biltmore. Great hotel, by the way, if you’ve never been there I highly recommend it.” She took a handful of potato chips and munched them.
“How did you know he’s with the mob?” Heidi asked.
“I’m getting to that,” Kate continued. “A few days later, he called and asked me to meet him in Miami and had a courier deliver a first-class plane ticket to my office. We had a great time. The next week he flew me to New York. He lavished me with expensive gifts, jewelry, a mink jacket, all probably hot. I met him in Philly a week later, but he was in a hurry so we just got it on in his limo in the airport parking lot. He gave me a pair of handmade Italian lizard pumps and wanted me to wear them while we fucked. He even licked the shoes.”
“Oh my God,” Miranda laughed.
“This went on until about a month ago when I met him in Atlanta. He gave me a fabulous emerald necklace, then handed me a suitcase full of money he wanted me to launder for him.”
“Katie, you didn’t!” Heidi exclaimed.
“Of course not. Well, that ended the affair.” She ran a hand though her short, spiky hair and sighed. “Honestly, I’m glad it’s over.”
“Did you keep all the goodies?” Miranda asked.
“Sure did.”
“You’re not worried he’ll try to bump you off or anything, are you?” Heidi asked.
Kate shook her head. “If I informed on him or something, he might get nasty, but I was so fringe I’m not really a threat to him. I never even knew his last name or where he lives. Just Vincent.”
Izzy lit another cigarette and blew smoke rings. “My, my, we’ve certainly been busy little beavers, haven’t we?”
“To us, brazen hussies,” Kate toasted. The four women clinked glasses again and tossed back the last of their wine.
“All this talk is making me hungry,” Heidi said. “Anybody ready for my famous spaghetti and meatballs?”
Over dinner, Miranda regaled her friends with tales of her journey. They insisted on seeing the golden cord she’d knotted with the sex magician, Lancelot Lucas. They high-fived her when she related her night on the riverboat casino with Clint. When she finished telling them about Eli eating her beneath the table in the New Orleans restaurant, they shrieked, “Oh my God!” in unison.
She passed her cell phone around so they could see pictures of Eli, at Sybil’s place in Mendocino, in Santa Fe, in San Antonio, and in New Orleans.
“He’s adorable,” Heidi said.
“A definite hunk,” Izzy agreed. “Look at those abs!”
“What’s he doing now?” Kate asked.
“That’s a good question,” Miranda answered. “I think we need more wine for this part of the story.”
“Let’s take it out to the hot tub,” Heidi suggested.
They cleared the dishes and stacked them in the dishwasher, then walked outside across the dew-damp grass to a hot tub that overlooked the lake. They removed the cover and their clothing and climbed in. When all were seated comfortably at the four corners of the tub, Heidi passed the wine bottle around and they refilled their glasses.
“Okay, Miranda, continue the saga of Eli,” Kate said.
Stars sparkled in the jet-black sky. Like the quartz crystals at Uncle Bright’s place. Miranda gazed up at them, luxuriating in the hot, bubbling water.
“After the French guys attacked us in New Orleans, he decided to go back to work at the vineyard in Napa Valley.”
“Hello,” Izzy interrupted. “He’s like a sitting duck there, am I right?”
“That’s what I told him, but he said he was tired of hiding and they’d find him anyway.” She sipped her wine and thought about the woman with the black curls. “What I suspect is, he’s got a girlfriend there and went back to her.”
“What makes you think that?” Heidi asked. “It sounds like he’s so into you.”
Miranda explained how she’d seen Eli and the other woman in the crystal, and how she’d experienced the same sense of fear and foreboding she’d felt upon viewing the scene of the horse-drawn carriages at Jackson Square.
“I haven’t talked to him since he got back to Napa, a week ago. He left a message that he’d arrived safely and another saying he was working at the vineyard again, but that’s all. Nothing romantic, nothing dirty even.”
“Oh, look.” Kate pointed at the sky. “A shooting star.”
“Cool. Make a wish, everybody,” Heidi said. “I wish for a trip to the Caribbean.”
“I wish Paul’s girlfriend would leave him and break his cheating heart,” Izzy said bitterly.
Kate wished for a promotion. “I want my boss’s job. He’s a totally incompetent jerk.”
“I wish Eli would leave Napa and move to Salem with me.” Wow, did I actually say that? I wonder if wishing on a star really works.
“There’s another one,” Heidi said as a star blazed through the heavens. “Let’s make wishes for each other this time.”
“I wish Izzy meets Mr. Right and they fall madly in love,” Miranda said.
“Or lust, at least. Thanks,” Izzy said. “I wish Kate gets promoted to president of the company and fires her boss.”
Kate laughed. “Sounds good to me. I wish Heidi buys a beach house on St. John and invites us all down over Christmas.”
“Definitely,” Heidi agreed. “I wish Miranda and Eli have a big wedding and we’re all bridesmaids.”
They put their toes together in the middle of the hot tub and lifted their legs out of the water, forming a pyramid. Kate started singing, “When you wish upon a star…” and they all chimed in at the finish “…your dreams come true.”