.. and went right into the net. the buzzer was muffled by the cheers erupting from the crowd. Diane was swarmed by her teammates. the cheerleaders rushed out of the auditorium with disgusted looks on their faces. the Springfield side was clearly confused about the celebration before them.
I thought back to the Diane who sat across from me at the diner less than two months ago. I looked around at all of the Club members to whom Diane had been such an inspiration. She had shown us all that it could be done.
IT WASN'T LOST ON ME THAT there was a correlation between the demise of my friendship with Ryan and the growth of the bond within the Club.
Every time the Club moved forward (Diane's basketball triumph last night), Ryan and I took a step back (he never showed up at his locker that day).
While that was upsetting, there was another problem that I needed to face. Nate.
There was another e-mail waiting for me when I got home. This one entitled FRIENDS?
I sat down and clicked it open.
Pen, I've been thinking about us a lot lately. Actually, you're all I think about. I know I'm not going to hear from you. I know you hate me.
I know you will never feel for me the way I feel for you. I deserve this. But I just need to ask you one question, and I want you to think about it (if you're even reading this) before I see you in a couple weeks. Do you think we could at least be friends? I need you in my life. And I'll take you whatever way I can.
I am going to do everything possible to get you back in my life.
Love, Loser Friends? He wanted us to be friends? Could I be friends with Nate after everything that happened?
Ryan and Diane were friends, but Ryan didn't cheat on Diane.
Ryan was…
I couldn't handle thinking about how wonderful Ryan was. Or being friends with Ryan, since he clearly had no interest in even talking to me.
Maybe the best thing would be just to tell Nate we could be friends and move on.
But I knew: I — was fooling myself if I thought that I would be able to do that.
After brooding about it for a week, I decided to ask Diane for advice over dinner. "How can you be friends with Ryan?" I blurted out before we even ordered.
Diane was surprised. "He's been in my life for so long."
"But so has Nate., for me," I replied.
Diane looked concerned. "Yeah, but Ryan never.. "
I sank back in my chair.
"What is this about?" Diane bit her lip.
I filled her in on the e-mails and Nate's plea for us to be friends.
She shook her head. "Penny, do you want to be friends with Nate?"
"No — I never want to see Nate again. But that isn't going to happen."
She sighed. "I really think you need to come clean to your parents." No way.
Diane set down her menu and grabbed my hand. "is everything okay? You've been really quiet all week."
I shrugged.
"You know!' Diane offered, "it wasn't easy at first, being friends with Ryan. I had to get in a new routine with him, but now he's one of my best friends. And so are you." She hesitated. "And I wish that my two closest friends could forgive each other."
"What?" My mouth dropped open. "Forgive each other? Diane, he won't even look at me. I've tried to apologize to him, but he doesn't even acknowledge my existence."
"I know. He's just upset."
"Upset?" I was so frustrated. "What Rosanna said was a blatant lie. He knows that, right?"
Diane nodded.
"So, what's his problem? We've been friends for a long time and then he doesn't want to talk to me? Why? Because people thought we went on a date."
Diane shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Penny, Ryan thought it was a date."
"Diane, he knew about the Lonely Hearts Club. He knew I couldn't date."
She shrugged.
"You know," I said, "maybe Nate and Ryan aren't that different after all."
Diane looked shocked. "How can you say that?"
"Come on, Diane." My face was flushed. "So, fine, Ryan thought it was a date. So because I wouldn't be…" I wanted to say "his little girlfriend" but didn't want to offend her, "Because I wouldn't go on a date with him, he doesn't even want to be my friend? is all he wants from me, I don't know, to get laid?"
Diane pursed her lips. "You know he's not like that."
"Do I?"
I started to get upset. I knew I'd crossed the line. I knew that Ryan wasn't like Nate — but I missed Ryan. I missed talking to him, hanging out with him between classes. And he just dumped on me. Just like Nate did. So was he any different?
'I'm just saying that my opinion on guys hasn't changed," I said.
I was sure I was right to not get involved with Ryan. He would've just hurt me in the end. Just like he'd already hurt me, Tracy came up to me the next day after class. "Hey, I need to talk to you for a minute." She looked serious.
We walked over to the benches that lined the hallway near the cafeteria.
"There's some stuff going on with the Club that I need to let you in on."
"The Club?" I thought everything was great. But I'd been so distracted lately, it didn't surprise me that I may have missed something.
"Yeah, Kara is going to miss the next two meetings," "Oh?"