Jack poured coffee into his mother’s mug and then his own. They were having breakfast together. It was nearly eight-thirty, and he’d been up since six.
Hattie sipped the hot liquid and smiled. “I’m getting spoiled. Once I’m back to normal, I don’t think I’m going to like getting up before the sun.”
“There’s no reason for you to wake up early,” Jack pointed out. “It’s not like you have kids to get ready for school or ranch hands to feed.”
“All true,” she admitted. “But I’ve spent my life on a ranch, and getting up early is part of the routine.”
Morning sun poured through the big windows. Hattie was in a robe, with her hair in a braid. He could see the lines on her face more clearly when she wasn’t wearing any makeup, but she was still a lovely woman. Yet she’d chosen to live her entire life on the ranch.
“Did you ever want anything else?” he asked her suddenly. “A different world than this?”
She looked around the kitchen. They’d remodeled it just two years ago. Hattie had picked out the colors and the appliances. Jack didn’t care what she did with the house. He had his own place on the other side of the barn. Besides, it wasn’t as if he was going to bring a bride back who would want to put her own touches on the old house.
“Where would I go?” she asked quietly, her dark eyes studying him. “I grew up in this house, Jack. Don’t forget, I’m the Darby, not your father. Russell had to change his last name and become a Darby because my family had the heritage and the land.” She sipped her coffee, then sighed. “I always wondered if that was one of the reasons he left. He used to talk about getting lost in being a Darby. Perhaps he needed to find himself again.”
Jack’s mouth twisted. He doubted his father had run off for any reason that noble. Jack suspected that Russell had simply grown tired of having a wife and children, not to mention the responsibility of running a successful ranch. Leaving had been easier than staying, even when staying was the right thing to do. Jack had fought hard to make sure he didn’t make the same mistake.
Hattie eyed her son. “If you’re asking me if I have any regrets, the answer is no. If you’re trying to get me to move away from the ranch to give you privacy, you’re going to have to be a whole lot less subtle than that.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want you going anywhere, Mom. Besides, I don’t know how to be subtle.”
Anything but, he thought, remembering the kiss he and Katie had shared a few days before. He’d been overwhelmed by desire, but instead of holding back and keeping the information to himself, he’d given in to the need with a passion that had shocked them both.
“Just checking,” his mother said. “I don’t want to be in the way.”
Jack grinned. “You’re annoying at times, but rarely in the way.”
She dismissed him with a wave of her hand. “I’ve been thinking of inviting Katie and Shane to dinner again. Is that all right with you?”
“It’s fine,” he said, trying to sound noncommittal. In the past couple of days, he’d done his best to avoid Katie. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say to her. He wasn’t sorry about the kiss, but he knew that repeating it would be a mistake for both of them.
“I worry about her,” Hattie said. She picked up a piece of toast and nibbled on the corner. “Aaron isn’t making things easy for her,” she said when she’d swallowed. “He’s so stubborn about everything. I had hoped things would settle down at the ranch, but Aaron pressures her about Shane all the time. I don’t understand it, because Shane is a wonderful boy.”
Jack tensed at the thought of Aaron Fitzgerald bullying a nine-year-old kid. “There’s nothing wrong with Shane,” Jack said gruffly. “He wasn’t raised on a ranch, but he catches on quick and he’s willing to try. If Aaron would talk in a normal tone of voice instead of yelling all the time, things would go easier for both of them.”
“You want to be the one to share your thoughts with him?” Hattie asked, sounding amused.
“There’s no point,” Jack said. Aaron didn’t listen to anybody-he sure as hell wouldn’t take advice from a Darby. As far as Aaron was concerned, Darbys were dirt.
“Katie does the best she can,” Hattie told him. “But I think she’s been fighting her father since Shane was little. The boy’s father ran out before he was born, and Aaron wanted her to move back to the ranch. Katie insisted on finishing college then setting up a life for herself in Dallas. I don’t think Aaron can forgive that.”
“Sounds like him,” he said, wondering how much Katie had confided that his mother wasn’t telling him. “Does Shane’s father have visitation rights?”
“No.” Hattie’s dark gaze settled on his face. “It seems the man was never interested in the boy at all. It must be hard for a child growing up, knowing his father never wanted him.”
Jack kept his expression impassive, but his mother’s comment hit its target dead center. Jack knew exactly what it felt like to be rejected by a father. He and his siblings had lived that over and over when Russell had walked out on his family. And like Shane, he’d had a mother who had made it clear she adored him.
“Shane’s a good kid,” Jack said. “It’s his father’s loss.”
“I believe it generally is.” Hattie made a great show of putting jam on her toast. “I’m sure Shane appreciates all the extra time you take with him. Between dealing with moving to a new place and having to live with Aaron, the child has to feel pressured.” His mother looked at him. “You continually make me proud of you, Jack. This is just one more example.”
Jack squirmed in his seat. “I’m not taking time with Shane for any reason other than I like spending time with him.”
“I know. That’s what makes me proud.”
He grunted and took another sip of coffee.
“Katie has grown into a beautiful young woman, don’t you think?” Hattie asked.
He set down his mug and rose to his feet. “That’s not subtle, even for you. I’m willing to take time with the boy and be a good neighbor, but that’s it. I’m not interested in finding another woman to leave me, and I have no desire to tangle with a Fitzgerald.”
His mother didn’t look the least bit impressed. “Don’t try to convince me that you care one whit about the feud. And not all women leave.”
“Whatever,” he said, carrying his cup to the sink and rinsing it. “I’ll see you later,” he said and left the kitchen.
When Jack stepped out on the back porch, he tried to dismiss his mother’s comments, but he found they weren’t easily dislodged. Both Katie and her son had captured his attention. Shane because he was a bright, funny little boy who deserved to be surrounded by people who cared about him and made him feel safe. And Katie because…
He swore under his breath. He didn’t know why he was thinking about Katie. He wanted to tell himself it was just because of the kiss and the fact that he hadn’t been with a woman in a long time. That it wasn’t anything about their shared past or the fact that he’d once been in love with her.
As he walked to the barn, he found himself remembering long conversations he’d had with Katie about what they both wanted to do with their lives. Having a baby had changed her plans. She’d had to adjust her goals, just as he had.
Jack paused and looked around the ranch. For years he’d felt trapped here, but with time he’d made peace with his destiny. This was where he belonged. He was able to look at the dreams of his youth and know that they would never come true. He wondered if Katie still struggled with what was, instead of what should have been. And was he any part of her regrets?
“I was talking to Jack yesterday,” Shane said as he and Katie drove across the bridge leading to the Darby ranch.
Katie smiled at her son. “Gee, and I thought you talked to Jack every day.”
“Mom,” her son said impatiently. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, my mistake. Because that’s what you said. That you’d talked to Jack yesterday.”
Shane sighed. “Would you listen?”
“Absolutely. I’m listening. You’re looking at me, and I’m sitting here driving and listening. Driving and listening, uh-huh. That’s what I’m doing.”
She bit back a grin. From the corner of her eye she saw Shane’s lips twitch as he tried to do the same.
He’d been chattering about school and his special Web site project from the moment she’d picked him up. Her heart ached. Shane was intelligent and charming and outgoing just about everywhere but at her father’s house. Aaron was not a positive influence for her son. If anything, her father was destroying the boy’s confidence.
“I was talking to Jack yesterday,” Shane said again, “and I asked him to teach me to ride. He said he would. We’re gonna start today.”
Katie kept her eyes on the road. She told herself to act as if this wasn’t a big deal, because in the scheme of things that was anyone’s life, riding or not riding a horse didn’t much matter. Except this was Texas and ranch country and his grandfather had been on his case about learning to ride from the moment they’d moved to Lone Star Canyon.
“I think that’s great,” Katie said quietly. “When I was a little bit older than you, Jack taught me to ride a bike. He’s very patient and easy to learn from. I’m sure you’ll be riding like a cowboy in no time.”
“You think?”
“Absolutely.” She gave him a quick smile. “Jack’s the best.”
“Yeah, he is.”
Too late Katie realized she’d just added to Shane’s case of hero worship. She drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. There was no stopping it now, she told herself. Somehow she and Shane were going to have to work through their feelings about Jack Darby. The problem for Katie was that her feelings confused her. Plus she didn’t want her son hurt.
She stopped the Explorer in front of the house. Misty came running and jumped against the passenger door. Shane laughed as he hopped onto the ground and was immediately, lovingly attacked by the dog. They tumbled together in a blur of colors, clothes and fur. Shane scrambled to his feet and took off running, the Lab-shepherd mix racing at his heels.
Katie watched them go. She liked her son being happy and healthy. For a while she’d been concerned that he was too involved in computers and indoor activities, but that was changing. Despite Aaron, maybe she hadn’t made the wrong decision in moving back to Lone Star Canyon.
When Shane and Misty were out of sight she collected her gear. But instead of walking to the main house, she turned toward the barn and the office recently added at the back of the building. She told herself she just wanted to say thank-you. She told herself she was being polite and neighborly and that wanting to see Jack had nothing to do with the kiss that still kept her up nights.
As she’d suspected, he was working in his office. A single desk lamp illuminated the papers in front of him. His dark hair hung over his forehead and hid his face. He’d rolled up his long sleeves, and she could see his forearms and strong wrists. She told herself he wasn’t any different from the hundreds of ranchers across the state…but she knew she was lying. He was Jack Darby, and she had once been in love with him.
She set her bag on the floor and tapped on the half-open door. “Do you have a minute?”
Jack looked up. He didn’t smile when he saw her, but he didn’t tell her to go away, either. “Sure. Come on in.”
She stepped into the bright office, so different from her father’s paneled sanctuary, but didn’t take a seat. “Shane told me you were going to teach him to ride. I wanted to thank you for that. I know you’ll be giving up a lot of extra time you don’t have. Spring is always busy.”
Jack leaned back in his chair. “The work hasn’t picked up that much,” he said slowly. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do.”
His gaze was steady. Katie felt all shivery inside. She also felt confused. Why did this man have the ability to get to her? Why couldn’t she put him firmly in the past where he belonged? She found herself wanting to move next to him, to have him hold her tight so she could confess all that was wrong in her life. She didn’t need him to fix anything, but it sure would be nice to have someone to listen. And maybe offer a suggestion or two.
“He’s a good kid,” Jack said when she didn’t speak. “Don’t worry so much about him.”
She wanted to ask how he knew what she’d been thinking about Shane but figured it was probably obvious. “As you know, his grandfather doesn’t share your good opinion.”
“Aaron doesn’t like anyone.”
She smiled. “That’s what I tell Shane, which I have to admit is a pretty sorry statement about my father.”
“Aaron isn’t going to change. I’m sure he could if he wanted to but he doesn’t see the need. His ways have gotten him through all his life.”
Giving in to the need to stay awhile, Katie walked to the leather wing chair in front of Jack’s desk and settled on the seat. “He makes everything so difficult,” she admitted. “I’ve tried talking to him about Shane, but he won’t listen. All he sees is that my son is different. Aaron hates anything he can’t understand. You should hear the fights he and Robin have when she’s home on leave.”
Jack frowned. “She’s one of Suzanne’s daughters, right?”
“Yes. The Navy helicopter pilot. Robin has always loved the ranch and she thinks Aaron should consider using a helicopter at roundup. He won’t listen. He tells her that the day he takes advice from a woman, let alone one who wasn’t born on a ranch, is the day they can bury him in his hat.” Katie sighed. “Of course that hurts Robin’s feelings. Of all of us, I swear she’s the one who loves the ranch the most. But Aaron can’t see that, or the value of her suggestions. All he knows is that she’s not a Fitzgerald by birth and that she wants to change the way things are being done. He loves her but he won’t listen to her very valid advice.”
“I’m sorry,” he said simply.
She shrugged. “I’ve dealt with my dad all my life. I guess I should be used to it by now.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s going to get any easier.”
She looked at Jack, at his handsome face and the compassion in his eyes. There was a time when they knew everything about each other. “I’ve missed us being friends,” she said without thinking.
He averted his gaze. “That was a long time ago. We were kids.”
“Does that mean the friendship didn’t matter?”
“No, but…” His voice trailed off.
She got the message. “Don’t worry,” she said with a lightness she didn’t feel. “I wasn’t trying to weasel my way back into your life. Been there, done that. To say the least, it ended badly.”
She had to speak over the tightness in her throat and the pain in her chest. Despite the passion of their kiss and the way their bodies had fit together so perfectly, Jack wanted her to know that he had no interest in rekindling old flames.
She told herself that was fine. She wasn’t interested, either. She’d sworn off all men and that included him. Daydreams were dangerous, especially daydreams starring Jack. Why couldn’t she remember that?
“Katie, it’s not what you think,” he told her, leaning forward slightly and resting his forearms on the desk. He paused awkwardly. “I’m glad you’re back in Lone Star Canyon. I hope you’ll be very happy here. But if you’re thinking about what happened before. Between us. The kiss.” He shook his head. “That was a mistake.”
Ah, a not-so-subtle brush-off, she thought, trying not to wince. Her chest tightened until it became difficult to breathe.
“I couldn’t agree more,” she lied and rose to her feet. “Well, I should get to work. Your mom is going to wonder what happened to me.”
“Katie, don’t.”
She smiled brightly. “Work? But I have to. It’s why I’m here, right?”
“I didn’t mean that.”
She gave a quick wave and hurried toward the door. “Go back to your papers. I’ll see you around.”
She ducked out before he could say anything else. In the relative dimness of the barn, she leaned against the wall and tried to catch her breath. Okay, so she’d spent the past couple of nights unable to sleep because she’d been thinking about Jack’s kiss. Obviously he’d been spending the same amount of time thinking of ways to make sure she understood that there wasn’t anything between them and there never would be. Message received.
The trick was going to be making sure Jack never figured out how much his rejection hurt. She thought she would be used to having Jack turn her away. After all, he’d done it eleven years ago. Of course then she’d been crazy in love with him and now she was just…Katie sighed. She didn’t know what she was now, except possibly late for her therapy appointment. She collected her bag and headed for the house. On the way she vowed she would find a way to force any thoughts of Jack out of her head forever.
Jack swore under his breath. He doubted he could have found a way to handle that worse than he did, even if he tried. Had he said one thing right?
“So she wants to be friends,” he muttered to himself. “Is that so bad?”
The problem was, he didn’t want to be friends. He wanted her naked and in his bed or he wanted her gone. His body ached for her even as his brain screamed a warning not to get involved with her. She might be pint-size, but she was pure dynamite. His life was finally where he wanted it to be-he didn’t need any explosions just now.
But he hadn’t meant to hurt her and he knew that’s what had happened. He’d seen the stiffness in her body, the flicker of pain in her eyes. He, too, missed the relationship they used to have. For years she’d been his best friend. When she’d left, he found himself as alone as he’d been when his father had walked out. In all the years she’d been gone, he hadn’t found anyone to take her place. Even marrying Melissa hadn’t filled the hole in his heart.
He supposed that was the problem. That he’d gotten over loving Katie, but he’d never recovered from losing their friendship. And now she wanted to talk about being friends again. He didn’t want to open that barely healed wound one more time. He wanted distance and more time to forget. He didn’t want to have to lose her again.
Saturday morning Katie pulled jeans and dark socks out of the dryer and dropped them into the laundry basket. The day was bright and clear with more than a hint of warmth in the air. Maybe when the laundry was done she and Shane would drive into town and take a look at their house. Last weekend when they’d checked, the framing had nearly been finished. It was probably done now. Then they could go get ice cream and maybe rent some movies for tonight.
She opened the washer to put the wet load of whites into the dryer when the sounds of loud voices drifted toward the back of the house. Katie tilted her head to catch what was being said. The words were difficult to make out, but the tone was familiar. Her father was on the rampage.
Instantly Katie’s stomach knotted. Her half brother and sister, Brent and Blair, had already left to spend the day with friends, and Suzanne was out at the grocery store. Which meant there was only one person Aaron could be yelling at.
Katie dropped the white T-shirt she held and ran toward the front of the house. The sound of her father’s voice grew louder. She tore into the family room and found her son curled up on the sofa, his arms held protectively over his head. Aaron stood over him, hands on hips, his voice booming like a cannon.
“Stop it,” Katie demanded as she stepped between the two of them. She took Shane in her arms and glared at her father. “Just stop it right now. Look at what you’re doing to him. What’s wrong with you?”
Shane trembled in her embrace. His face was deathly pale. She’d never seen his eyes so big. “Did he hit you?” she asked. Her father had never been one for violence, but he didn’t think there was anything wrong with a well-placed slap.
Shane shook his head.
“You’re babying him,” her father growled, his ruddy face darkening. “That’s the problem.”
Katie ignored him and focused on her son. “Can you get to your room? I want to talk to Grandpa, and then I’ll be right there.”
Her son nodded.
She cupped his face, then gave him a little push. With one last glance at his grandfather, he scurried from the room.
Katie sucked in a breath and tried to prepare herself for battle. She might not have much in the way of height, but she would face down any opponent to protect her son.
She stood and glared at her father. “I will not have you yelling at him like that. If you have a problem with him, you come to me.”
Her father leaned close. “Don’t you tell me what to do in my house, missy. Shane just told me he was learning to ride and that Jack Darby was teaching him.”
He spit out Jack’s name like it was snake venom. Rage made him shake. All Katie wanted to do was turn and run, but she forced herself to stand her ground.
“Yes, Jack’s been kind enough to give Shane a little positive attention. He’s even begun teaching him to ride. Amazingly enough, he manages to get through the entire lesson without yelling.”
Aaron looked disgusted. “What the hell is going on here?” he demanded. “You’re turning that son of yours into a girl. As for letting Jack Darby anywhere near the kid, that makes you stupider than I thought.”
Her father’s words tore at her. Katie had always tried to do right by her family and make her parents proud of her. With her mother and later with Suzanne, she’d been successful, but never with her father. For the first time, she realized the blame wasn’t hers at all.
“You can’t see anyone’s point of view but your own,” she told him. “You can’t understand that having a big man yell is a frightening thing for a small child.”
“You were the runt of the litter and you were never scared,” her father told her, his voice laced with disdain.
“You’re wrong. I was plenty scared. The difference was I learned not to show it.”
Aaron threw up his arms. “I don’t want to hear this. You’re in my house and you’ll follow my rules. No more consorting with the Darbys. And if Shane is finally man enough to want to ride a horse, then by God, I’ll be the one to teach him.”
But Katie wasn’t listening. She was too busy staring at the man who was her father. All her life she’d thought that whatever he might be blustering about at the moment, in his heart of hearts, he loved her. But now she wasn’t so sure. Had he changed or had she?
“Are you listening to me, girl?” he demanded.
Katie nodded. “I’m listening, Daddy. And I don’t like anything I’m hearing.” Her heart cracked a little. “I’m sorry, but Shane and I can’t stay here anymore.”
His blue eyes turned to ice. “If you walk out that door, you’re never coming back. You’ll never be my daughter again.”
She stared in stunned surprise. “You’d risk our relationship over this?” She couldn’t believe it. “Do I mean so little to you? I’m starting to think you never cared about me at all. Is it because I’m a girl or because I was small and sick all the time? Did you think I should have been put down, like the calves that don’t gain weight fast enough?”
Aaron sputtered, but he didn’t say anything. Katie no longer cared. She was tired of this fight and she was out of words. She turned to walk away.
“I mean it, Katie. You won’t be allowed back here if you leave.”
She moved faster. Her father came after her. She ran down the hall and entered Shane’s room. He stood by the door, his school backpack already over his shoulders.
Katie didn’t have to say anything. When she motioned, he followed. Together they ran outside and jumped into her Explorer. Aaron came out on the porch, still yelling and making threats. Katie pulled her keys from her pocket and started the engine. Seconds later, they were gone.