“But…but…you said you wanted him killed! I saw you attempting to garrot Shakespeare’s head!”
“That was days ago,” Plum said, waving away the idea. “I changed my mind that very day when I realized I didn’t have the stomach to kill Charles. No, this plan is much better. I will hold the threat of a scandal over his head so that he is forced to keep silent on the subject of me. I have several excellent scandals planned.”
“But I told Nick — he thinks you want someone to kill Charles!” Thom’s eyes were wide with worry.
“I don’t!” Plum objected.
“I know that now, but I didn’t when I wrote to Nick!”
Plum’s straight brows pulled together as she mulled over what to do with an unwanted murderous henchman, deciding after a few minutes of contemplation that since she was paying him, he would just have to do as she told him. “He will simply have to revise his expectations. If he does not agree to participate in the scandalcreation, I will find someone who will. Now, let me show you what I have come up with.”
“I don’t understand why you have to create scenarios at all,” Thom complained, obligingly pulling up her armchair to sit next to Plum. “After everything I’ve seen of the ton, it seems all you have to do is look sideways at someone and you have a scandal.”
“It’s not quite that easy. The threat of the scandal is what I will use, not the event itself. For that reason, I have used my literary skills to draw up several convincing scenarios.”
“The Shameful Secret Truth Regarding a Viscount’s Youngest Son and His Unnatural Love for a Milk Cow Named Junie,” Thom read aloud. “Well, I like the title. Very lively and colorful.”
“Thank you,” Plum said modestly. “I have always felt I had a gift for turning a neat phrase.”
“Mmm. What’s the next one?”
“I call it simply Lost His Wits and Believes He’s a Large Willow Tree on Hampstead Heath. As you can see, it is a bit more involved in that Charles has to be first drugged, then taken to Hampstead Heath where several willow fronds will be tied to his arms.”
“Very interesting,” Thom said. She tapped a finger on the bottom of the paper. “And the loosed tigers?”
“They are there to throw suspicion away from anyone who might have noticed that Charles was drugged. I thought that a particularly clever touch in that it will confuse people. Otherwise, they might just think it was a jest on the part of his livelier friends, and dismiss the idea that he was insane.”
Thom frowned. “But wouldn’t a tiger be likely to maul innocent passersby?”
“Yes, but if you read the note at the bottom, the tigers’ handlers are to be available at all times in order to keep an unwanted tragedy from occurring. The tigers are there just to cause confusion, really. If you were there and tigers were on the loose, would you stop to consider whether or not a man dressed as a tree had been drugged?”
“No, I suppose I wouldn’t. That is a good distraction. And the third scenario?”
“The tigers gave me this idea. It’s called Soulless Wretch of a Man Who Enrages and Torments Innocent Bear Cubs. That is a bit more difficult to enact, since a bear cub must be found and enraged before it can be discovered with Charles, but I am convinced it would work.”
“Yes, I see your point.”
Plum nodded sagely. “I have two more scenarios, but I’m not as pleased with them as I am the first three. I will present them to the murderer that your burglar found, and convince him that it’s much better to simply arrange for a scandal than to murder Charles.”
Thom didn’t look convinced, although she said, “If you say so. When do you meet with him? And may I come with you?”
“Tonight.” Plum eyed her niece, chewing on her lip as she thought how best to phrase her request. “I don’t want Harry to know where I’m going.”
“No, of course not,” Thom said, supportive to the end.
“So I thought to tell him that you and I had been invited to a recital. Harry dislikes recitals — he says they bore him to tears, so if he thought that we were going to one, he might not insist on accompanying us.”
“But he would send Juan and the footmen with us.”
“Yes, but here’s where it pays to have a devious mind — I have written to Lady Davell, and told her how well I’ve heard her oldest daughter plays and sings, and as I expected, she invited us to an intimate dinner so we can hear the girl. I’ve accepted on your and my behalf, and to Sir Ben’s we will go…only I will make an excuse early on and return home. Or they’ll think I will.”
“Oh!” Thom said, her eyes full of admiration. “But really you’ll go to meet the murderer!”
“Exactly.” Plum smiled, pleased that Thom grasped the finer nuances of her plan. “I shall slip out of the house with no one the wiser, returning home after I am done.”
“There’s just one thing — you won’t have anyone to protect you if you slip out unnoticed. What if you are attacked?”
“The accidents have all involved the children, not me. I’m quite certain no one is the least bit interested in me.”
“Harry won’t like it,” Thom said doubtfully.
“Harry won’t know, so it won’t disturb him. Will it?” Plum asked with meaningful emphasis.
“No, I suppose not. I do wish I could come with you to meet the murderer. I’ve never met one before, and if he’s anything like Nick—”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t be. You said Nick turned down the opportunity to do the task himself, which I admit shows a niceness I hadn’t expected in a burglar, but still, a murderer is a different sort of individual all together. Now, here’s what I want you to say in case Harry decides he wishes to accompany us—”
Her worries were for naught. Harry, who had been acting a bit strangely ever since he returned from a visit to his friend Lord Wessex’s house — he was prone to subjecting her to odd, unreadable looks — posed no objections when she mentioned casually that she and Thom had been invited to dinner at the unexceptional Sir Ben Davell’s.
“I have an engagement myself this evening,” he said, giving her yet another of those odd, piercing glances, as if he wanted to speak to her about a subject, but couldn’t bring himself to it.
“Oh, do you? Something to do with the situation?” Plum asked in a whisper, casting a worried glance over to where the children were playing a game of Goose.
“It has to do with a situation, yes,” Harry said, his beautiful changeable eyes filled with enigma.
Plum, who half expected her conscience to object to going behind her husband’s back rather than enlisting his aid with a problem, was pleased to find that about this, at least, her conscience was quiet. Charles was her problem, and it was her responsibility to see to it that he was taken care of just as Harry was responsible for seeing to the children’s safety.
The similarity of their situations struck her in a manner so profound that Plum was able to kiss the children good night, and wish Harry a pleasant evening without the slightest twinge of guilt. She was doing this for his sake, for all their sakes, and although it was undoubtedly a sin to willingly threaten another person with scandal, Charles was a detestable snake, and no doubt the good Lord would understand her actions.
In fact, Plum reflected a few hours later as she made her escape by a side door of Sir Ben’s house, the ease with which her plan was enacted seemed to be proof of a blessing from on high. She hailed a hack loitering around the square, and ordered him to take her to Green Park. Once there the man was agreeable enough to wait for her return.
“I shouldn’t be long,” she told him as he handed her out of the carriage.
“I’ll wait for ‘owever long ye need me,” the man said.
She smiled and gave him a coin for his trouble. The poor man looked as if he could use it — he actually had a hook in place of his left hand.
Five minutes later the large young man named Nick stepped out from behind one of the trees lining the walk. He was dressed shabbily, but he met her gaze without wavering, and she renewed her intentions to do something to repay him for his kindness in saving the children.
“Lady Rosse? We haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Nick Britton. Do you still wish to go ahead with your plan?”
Plum clutched her reticule nervously. She was not a fool; she knew that ladies who wandered around parks after dark were leaving themselves open to attention from less than desirable individuals, which is why she brought along one of the pistols she had found in the bottom of Harry’s desk. It was a very small pistol to be sure, but she had great faith that it would dissuade anyone who bothered her. Although she probably had nothing to fear from a mere burglar, she would take no chances. The pistol was loaded and ready to be pulled out at the first sign of trouble. “Yes, I do wish to go ahead with it, although with one slight change. I don’t want the man killed. My niece misunderstood my plan, you see, and she thought I was looking for a murderer, when what I really need is someone who will assist me in arranging for a scandal.”
Nick looked startled for a moment, then rubbed a hand across his mouth, mumbling his answer through his fingers. “I see. Yes, that is quite a misunderstanding. I’m sure the…er…individual you have hired will be most interested to hear the truth.”
Plum bit her lip. “You don’t think he’ll be disappointed, do you? I should hate to have a disappointed murderer on my hands. I imagine they are difficult enough to deal with when they are happy.”