‘Her favorite little niece?’ Crash grinned at her in the darkness. ‘I bet you were a cute kid.’
‘Not really,’ Mare said thoughtfully. ‘Dee was the beauty and Lizzie was the fairy child. I kind of clumped. I was the Amazon kid. I don’t know why she paid the most attention to me. Maybe because I’m the youngest. The dumbest.’
‘You’re not dumb,’ Crash said, surprised.
‘I’m dumb compared to Dee and Liz,’ Mare said, sitting up straighter. ‘I wonder if that’s it. She’s the one who told me I was the Queen of the Universe. Maybe she has me marked as the weakest link.’
‘Weakest link in what?’ The roof beneath them began to throb harder, and Crash put his hand on it, distracted. ‘What is that?’
‘Lizzie’s working.’ Mare began to gather up the cups.
‘Well, I’ve got another long day tomorrow…’
She was leaving. Without thinking, he blurted, ‘How about if I moved back here?’
Mare jerked back. ‘Here? To Salem’s Fork? You just got finished telling me how much you love Italy. And your business there, everything about it. You’re happy there.’
He was a little stunned himself. ‘Yeah, but you’re not there.’ Now that he’d said it, it began to seem like a possibility. ‘Maybe we could open an American branch. Be international.’
Mare stared at him, looking hopeless. ‘You can’t give up your life for me. Youdon’t know me.’
‘Well, come to Italy and we’ll get to know each other again,’ he said, exasperated. ‘I’ll get you a round-trip ticket. You don’t like it, you can come home. What’s the worst that can happen? You get a vacation in Italy.’ He leaned closer. And what’s the best that can happen? Us, that’s what. Have you missed me at all?’
She looked at him with her heart in her eyes, and he knew that she had missed him, knew she still cared, and the last of his anger evaporated, and then the roof trembled under them, and she looked away and Crash said, ‘What the hell?’
‘You know Lizzie,’ Mare said. ‘Something probably exploded.’
She was too far away, but he’d seen the look in her eyes, so he put his arm around her, and when she sighed and put her forehead on his arm, he said, ‘Listen, but if it’s New York, you’ll be amazing there, too. You can do anything, Mare. You don’t need your sisters or your aunt Xan or anybody else. You really are Queen of the Universe.’
She turned her face up to him and said, ‘I love you,’ and he kissed her, dizzy with wanting her, loving her, and tasted heat and hot fudge and Mare. He fell into her, felt her yield under him, needing to taste all of her, drink her in, and then she broke the kiss and pulled back, breathing fast, hot and real under his hands, inches away from him, too far away from him. He held on to her, jerking his head toward her bedroom window. ‘We’re going to fall off this roof,’ he said, breathless, ‘how about you finally show me your room?’ and Mare stiffened.
He tightened his grip on her. ‘Sorry, too fast-’
‘The mountain,’ Mare said.
He stopped as thunder rolled in the distance.
‘Let’s go to the mountain. Like we used to.’ Mare stood up, pulling his hands with her, and Py stretched to his feet beside her.
The mountain again. ‘Mare, it was always great on the mountain, but it’s going to storm-’
‘Not until Sunday,’ she said. ‘Not until Beltane. And even if it does, I want to make love with you on the mountain again.’ She held on to him in the dark, tugging gently on his hand. ‘Just like we used to. I want you so much.’
The wind blew her silky black hair across her face, and the moon silhouetted her, tall and round and strong in the darkness, and he wanted her anywhere, any way, always, just because she was Mare and he loved her.
‘Let’s go to the mountain,’ Crash said.
Crash’s bike was beautiful, even in the dim glow of the streetlights, but then, everything about Crash was beautiful, and Mare was drunk on him.
‘It’s a Moto Guzzi Le Mans I,’ he told Mare and handed her a helmet. A guy in Annapolis bought it from us. Put this on. And roll down your sleeves.’
‘Yes, sir.’ Mare put the helmet on and looked at the bike, trying to get her balance back. ‘This thing is gorgeous. Should we be riding it up the mountain?’
‘Sure,’ Crash said, swinging his leg over it. ‘Test drive. I’ll take it to Maryland before I leave the States.’ He patted the seat behind him. ‘Let’s go.’
‘Okay’ Mare settled in behind him, scooting so that she was pressed against him, her breasts against his back, her thighs gripping his, and the memories rushed back, the old heat bubbling in her veins, and she sighed. ‘No hurry. Let’s take good care of this classic’ She rocked her hips closer so she was pressed tight against him where she fit just right, feeling the good stuff start low.
‘You want to make it all the way up the mountain, stop that,’ Crash said, and she laughed into the back of his jacket and tightened herself around him again, loving the way he felt against her again. Okay, she didn’t have choices, but tonight she had Crash. That was a hell of a lot.
He kicked the bike into motion, and she drew a deep breath as they rode down the street, closing her eyes and smiling as the vibration made her breathe harder still. ‘Take Cobblestone Street,’ she said, and he laughed and said, ‘Why?’ and she thought, Cobblestones, of course, knowing he knew why, rubbing her cheek against his back because of everything he did know about her, concentrating on the hum inside her as they rode and he turned down the streets, taking the long way, feeling it build until they hit bumpy Cobblestone Street, and she felt the heat rise and twist and thought, yesyesyes and began to shudder and bounce. Don’t stop, she thought, clenching against him, God, yes, drawing in her breath, yes, sucking in energy from everywhere, drawing everything to her, and then Crash cursed and swerved and she cried out as a trash can went hurtling by them.
He slowed the bike. ‘Damn it,’ he said, and Mare straightened away from him, shaken, watching the trash can roll away now that she’d let go, cold with knowledge she didn’t want. ‘You okay?’
‘No,’ she said faintly.
‘I’m going to personally go around nailing down every damn trash can in this town,’ he said as they turned down the road that led up to the mountain.
That’s the street we were on after the prom, Mare thought, trying to catch her breath. I told him to take the cobblestones then, too. I wanted the ride.
I pulled that trash can to us when I came. I sucked in my breath, I sucked in everything, and I pulled it to us, and we wrecked because of me and he left because of me.
Everything was my fault, it was all my fault.
She held herself away from him, trembling, all the way up the mountain, trying to tell herself that she hadn’t known, that she’d always been careful when she’d had sex, always had it outside, up on the mountain under the big oak, where there was nothing but rocks too big to move so that nobody got hurt, that she’d thought the little bubbles she got on the back of the bike hadn’t counted, the real thing was Crash inside her, not just her hugging him, giggling and popping on the back of the bike, she hadn’t known-
My fault.
Crash turned the bike into the violet-filled meadow at the top of the hill and cut the motor, then took off his helmet and turned to her. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes,’ she said, and took off her helmet and got off the bike, hating not touching him, hating herself for touching him. My fault. ‘No.’
‘I know, it was just like prom night,’ Crash said, getting off the bike. ‘Listen, if you don’t want to, we don’t have to-’
‘It was my fault,’ Mare said miserably. ‘The accident prom night. It was my fault.’
‘It was an accident,’ Crash said, sounding confused. He put his hand on her arm. ‘If it was anybody’s fault, it was mine. If I’d slowed better, you wouldn’t have fallen off-’
‘My fault.’ Mare put her arms around his neck, keeping her mind in check so that nothing moved anywhere. ‘It’s my fault you left town. It’s my fault-’
‘Hey.’ Crash put both arms around her and she drew in her breath as he pulled her close, the bulk of his body a comfort. ‘It wasn’t-’
‘I’m magic,’ Mare said, holding on to him. ‘I make magic. That’s my secret, I’m psychokinetic, I can move things with my mind, that’s why I always brought you up here, because everything up here’s too heavy too move. I came on the back of the bike and when I came, I threw that trash can, and that’s why we wrecked. It was my fault.’
‘Uh, Mare…’
‘No, I really can move things.’ Mare looked around the clearing. There was the Great Big Rock and the circle of the other Big Rocks, but they were all too big, that was the whole point of being up here, that she couldn’t throw things while she was thrashing around. The wind had picked up, and the tree branches were waving, and there wasn’t anything light enough for her to move that the wind wasn’t already moving, everything was beyond her power. Maybe one of the helmets…