I was eager to divert his lordship’s attention away from me, but I never expected to kindle my own jealousy.
– Lily to Fanny
Lulled by the sensual haven Heath had created for her, Lily fell asleep in his arms, physically sated yet with her thoughts in turmoil. And when he woke her sometime during the night, whispering that he didn’t want to be discovered in her bed, the parting kiss he gave her aroused her turmoil all over again, along with her deplorable longings.
Dismayed by her weakness, Lily rose and donned her nightdress before returning alone to her bed. But she spent the remainder of the night tossing and turning, unable to sleep, powerless to forget Heath’s touch, his scent, his warmth, his tenderness. And she rose early, bleary-eyed and fatigued and muttering invectives against her lamentable response to his cunning tactics.
Not only had he given her a taste of wonder, he’d left her craving his passion and fighting the temptation to take their relationship even further.
Trying to crush the scalding memory of his lovemaking, Lily washed and dressed as she considered her dilemma. Regrettably, she couldn’t think about leaving London just yet in order to avoid Heath. Even though her tutorial services wouldn’t be needed now that the soiree was over, she had agreed to play the courting game with him, and honorably, she would have to see it through to the conclusion, particularly since he had fulfilled his part of the bargain by bringing suitable candidates to the soiree. Besides, her friends’ debt to O’Rourke still remained unpaid.
But clearly, Lily reminded herself, she couldn’t afford to let down her guard with Heath any more than she already had. Most certainly she had to stop herself from such foolishness as yearning to be his lover.
Perhaps she should even start preparing for the disturbing possibility that he might actually win their game. He had an entire week left to earn only two more points and the right to court her publicly for another quarter.
Which meant it was imperative that she begin building an emotional wall between them, Lily realized. Otherwise she would leave herself much too vulnerable to him.
Lily was still contemplating how to improve her defenses when she went down to breakfast. To her surprise she found the dining room occupied by both Fleur and Chantel in addition to Ada Shaw. It was rare that the elderly beauties rose before ten.
Ada looked as contented as the proverbial cat who’d drunk an entire pot of cream, while the older courtesans were smiling broadly.
“Our soiree was a grand success, Lily,” Fleur said at once. “Fourteen of our girls made arrangements for new patrons.”
“Yes,” Ada chimed in. “And I made the best conquest of all. I found a rich earl who will be setting me up as his mistress.”
“And I,” Chantel added happily, “believe that Lord Poole is interested in me once more. If I play my cards right, I may be able to persuade Poole to contribute to our debt fund.”
“You forget,” Fleur drawled wryly, “that cards are what got us into this predicament in the first place.”
“Of course I have not forgotten,” Chantel retorted. “It was simply a figure of speech. Or perhaps you are merely jealous that I have found a beau after all this time?”
Fleur made a scoffing sound. “Of course not! I don’t begrudge you a beau, darling. Especially not one who is old and fat and creaks when he bends. Poole wears more corsets than I do.”
When Chantel’s expression turned miffed and pouting at the same time, Lily hastened to intervene, expressing her delight at the success of the soiree-which fortunately sent the courtesans off into raptures about how splendid the evening had been and detailing which pupils had garnered the chance to improve their circumstances and move up in the world of the demimonde.
By the time Fleur and Chantel finished breakfasting and exited the dining room together, they were fast friends again.
Left alone with Ada, Lily sent up a silent thanks that they had been too busy last evening to notice her absence or her failure to return to the drawing room. She did not want to have to confess the wanton, scandalous things she had been doing with Lord Claybourne in her bed during the final hours of the soiree.
Thus, her thoughts were greatly distracted when Ada spoke.
“Lord Claybourne seems quite taken with you, Miss Loring,” Ada commented.
“Why do you say so?” Lily answered absently as she sipped her coffee.
“He won’t so much as look at any of us girls when you are around…nor when you are absent, either.”
“I wish he would look at someone else,” Lily muttered in a low undertone.
“Truly?” Ada’s tone held surprise. “You want him to look elsewhere?”
Realizing she’d spoken her thought aloud, Lily looked up to find Ada watching her shrewdly.
“Most women,” Ada pointed out, “would rightly sell their souls to have the attention of such a magnificent man.”
Feeling her cheeks warm, Lily occupied herself with spreading marmalade on her toast. “Perhaps, but I am inclined to keep my soul for my own.”
“I heard that his lordship wants to wed you,” Ada added leadingly.
“So he claims, but I don’t want to wed him.”
“You don’t want to be a marchioness?” Her eyes widened as if she couldn’t comprehend such a sacrilege. “I would give up my new protector in the blink of a pig’s eye if I thought I had a chance at winning Lord Claybourne’s patronage.” Then she sighed. “But I would never poach another girl’s man. At least not one who has been so good to me, as you have been, Miss Loring.”
“Lord Claybourne is not my man, Ada,” Lily assured her.
A calculating gleam lit Ada’s eyes. “Then you would not mind if I tried my hand at attracting his notice?”
Frowning, Lily wondered how she would feel if the beautiful young courtesan tried to seduce Heath. She would not like it at all, she decided. But then, she didn’t have the right to prevent Ada from pursuing him, nor did she even want that right.
“I have no claim to him,” Lily repeated.
“Then if you truly don’t mind…I may give it a try. Not that I have much of a chance of succeeding. Most gents are not so hard to seduce, but Lord Claybourne is said to be a splendid lover. I’ve heard tell he can make a woman weep with joy. It won’t be easy to pleasure such a man, or persuade him to take me on, not when he can have any woman he wants.” Ada tossed her head. “But if I cannot do it, then no one can.”
Lily had to agree with her assessment. With her fiery hair, lush curves, and earthy beauty, Ada should appeal even to a jaded nobleman of Heath’s discriminating tastes, especially since Ada had learned to temper her vulgar mannerisms over the past month and her speech now sounded almost genteel when she worked at it. Heath might well be attracted to the sensual young siren.
“I expect you are right,” Lily said with a faint smile.
Ada dimpled. “And if I can’t, I fancy it could prove his devotion to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why, just that if his attention can be turned to me so quick, then you’ll know he won’t be faithful to you in the long run. ’Tis better to know a man’s stripes before you throw your lot in with ’im, I always say.”
“True. My father was an inveterate rake, and I have no desire for a husband who is anything like him.”
Lily found her mouth curling at the remembrance of her father’s libertine ways. She doubted Heath was much like her profligate father, but if he readily gave in to the temptation the lightskirt presented, it would indeed prove he didn’t want her all that much after all.
And in truth, if Ada could seduce him, Lily rationalized, it could solve her own problem of his courtship. If his carnal needs were filled by someone else, he was less likely to be lusting after her.
“You needn’t worry that I will stand in your way, Ada,” Lily murmured. “In fact, Lord Claybourne is coming to call at eleven. You are welcome to greet him in my place.”
“Why, thank you, Miss Loring. I believe I know just how to go about it.”
Ada’s plan was relatively simple: Upon the marquess’s arrival, she would descend the front staircase and contrive to fall at his feet, so that he would have no choice but to assist her. Ada was an actress, after all, and she intended to put her thespian skills to good use.
Lily was beginning to have second thoughts, however. Even though she’d voiced no objection to Heath’s possible seduction, she felt strangely anxious for the entire remainder of the morning. And she found herself watching the mantel clock in Fleur’s sitting room as eleven o’clock approached.
When eventually she heard the front door knocker sound, she slipped out into the corridor and edged toward the head of the stairs where Ada was poised to begin her performance.
All went perfectly according to the courtesan’s plan, Lily saw, watching clandestinely from above. Moments after Lord Claybourne turned over his hat to the houseboy, Ada twisted her ankle on the bottom stair and fell gracefully to the parquet floor directly in front of him.
At her small cry of pain, Heath immediately came to Ada’s rescue. And when she professed a need to lie down, he was compelled to carry her into the nearest room with a sofa, which happened to be the first floor parlor.
Unfortunately, Lily soon discovered, from her position on the second floor landing, she couldn’t see or hear what was transpiring between Ada and their noble guest.
Five minutes passed before Lily’s impatience won out over her better judgment. Descending the staircase, she slowly made her way down the corridor toward the parlor door, yet she could hear little there either, save for the murmur of voices.
Fighting the urgent need to rush in after them, Lily instead forced herself to stand in the corridor, although chiding herself all the while. She couldn’t believe she was hovering about in this pathetic manner. She didn’t give a fig if Heath was kissing Ada, or touching her, or stroking her, or bringing her to pleasure the way he’d done her-
Lily stifled a groan at the tormenting image of him making love to the beautiful Cyprian, and after another moment, admitted that it was futile trying to fool herself. She hated to think of Heath with another woman. She didn’t want him kissing anyone but her, pleasuring anyone but her.
When the low rumble of his voice was followed by his amused chuckle, Lily stiffened. She had to stop Ada from seducing him, despite her original assent to the plan!
Bracing herself for what she might find, Lily tried to keep her steps unhurried as she moved to the door, but when she entered the parlor, she came up short.
Ada was indeed lying on the sofa, lounging back against a pillow in a languid, seductive pose, while Heath sat at the lower end with the girl’s bare foot in his lap, her slipper and stocking gracing the carpet. He was massaging her ankle gently, much as he’d done to Lily’s foot in his carriage the afternoon of the garden party.
A pang of dismay shot through Lily, along with a fierce sting of jealousy-both of which she tried to quell as she loudly cleared her throat.
Ada glanced up with a start. “Oh, Miss Loring. I did not expect you.”
Lily forced a smile. “I was supposed to meet his lordship at eleven but was delayed.”
Heath, she noted, seemed not a bit discomfited that she had caught them together. In fact, he didn’t even stand in her presence, as any gentleman normally would.
“Ada, my dear, are you in pain?” Lily asked, pointedly regarding the courtesan’s bare foot.
“Well, I was-I sprained my ankle quite dreadfully-but Lord Claybourne has taken all the pain away.” Ada fluttered her kohl-darkened eyelashes up at him. “I vow, ’tis splendid for a girl to have such a gallant savior.”
“Yes,” Lily responded in a dust-dry tone, “his lordship does enjoy playing the hero.”
He also looked as if he was enjoying the beauty’s attention, Lily thought, feeling piqued. “Ada, I will ring for Ellen to bring you a cold compress if you like.”
When she started to move across to the bellpull, however, Heath’s easy drawl followed her. “Have the compress delivered to Miss Shaw’s bedchamber. I intend to carry her there since she cannot walk.”
“Oh, thank you, my lord,” Ada breathed in a husky murmur. “I don’t know how I would have managed if you had not rescued me.”
“I cannot let you suffer, now can I?” he said with a caressing smile.
Although clenching her jaw, Lily had no choice but to comply with his request. By the time the maid Ellen came scurrying into the room, Heath had scooped Ada up in his arms and was smiling down into her eyes while she clung to his neck and gazed back up at him in adoration.
When he strode from the parlor with his feminine burden, Lily quickly gave instructions to Ellen, then snatched up Ada’s shoe and stocking and followed Heath up the front staircase.
Ada’s bedchamber was on the second floor at the rear of the corridor, and Lily managed to reach it before him, in time to open the door for him. He carried the courtesan inside and gently set her down on the bed. Ada kept her arms twined about his neck, though, while she whispered something in his ear that made him laugh softly.
Lily realized she was grinding her teeth, and she willingly admitted relief when Heath disengaged himself from the beauty’s hold and gallantly took his leave of her.
When he accompanied Lily out into the corridor, however, she was surprised that he took her elbow in a firm grasp. “Where may we be private, angel?” he asked in a deceptively pleasant tone.
Lily sent him a narrow glace. He almost sounded angry at her. “Will Fleur’s sitting room do?”
“Well enough,” he said tersely.
Wondering what had roused his wrath, Lily led the way. She felt herself tense when Heath shut the door sharply behind them. After last night, she most certainly didn’t want to be alone with him again.
Yet he obviously didn’t have in mind a repetition of last night’s lovemaking. His gaze pinned her for a long beat before he moved toward Lily, stopping barely a foot away. Despite his intimidating stance, her body’s response to his nearness was immediate: She found it difficult to breathe, let alone think, when he was that close.
“You endorsed Ada’s attempt at seduction, didn’t you?” Heath demanded in a curt tone. When she remained silent, a muscle ticked in his jaw. “Don’t bother to deny it, sweeting. Ada confessed your role.”
Lily’s eyes widened as comprehension dawned. “You persuaded her to tell you, didn’t you? You charmed a confession out of her.”
“Guilty as charged,” he shot back.
“How did you even guess?”
“I thought her behavior strangely forward, even for her. And I’ve learned to spot a ruse when I see it.”
“Oh, yes, I forget,” Lily rejoined. “Females have been throwing themselves at your feet for aeons. So that display of concern for her injury-your rubbing her ankle so tenderly-was all for show, for my benefit?”
“Indeed. Her ankle is perfectly sound.”
Lily felt her fingers curl into fists as she remembered her fierce feelings of jealousy a moment ago. And Heath had deliberately stoked them, pretending to be interested in the beautiful other woman.
Apparently he was not finished upbraiding her, though. “You admit that you approved Ada’s little scheme. What I want to know is why.”
“I should think it obvious,” Lily retorted, starting to feel uncomfortable with his piercing regard.
“According to Ada, you meant to prove that I am like your late father-eager to chase anything in skirts.”
“That is part of it, yes.”
Her answer made sparks flare in his eyes. “And you thought you could be rid of me by pawning me off on some other woman? Bloody hell, Lily.”
When she winced at his fury, Heath’s jaw locked with the visible effort to control his temper. “What the devil were you thinking? Did you actually believe she could succeed in enticing me? That I would ever want a woman like her when I could have you?”
Lily wrapped her arms around herself defensively. “Truthfully…yes. I thought that if she satisfied your carnal desires, you wouldn’t want me any longer.”
“Dammit, Lily…” In frustration, he raked a hand through his hair. “I don’t merely want sex with you. I want you for my wife. If fucking was all I wanted, I could find any number of willing women to indulge me.”
“I know,” Lily said in a small voice, feeling rather chastened by his argument.
“And I am perfectly capable of finding my own mistress if I want one. I do not need your assistance. And I most assuredly don’t appreciate your deceit or your plotting.”
Moving across to the sofa, she sank down. “I am sorry. I never should have allowed Ada to try and seduce you. Besides,” Lily added, biting her lower lip, “I never even considered the risk she was taking. She has a new patron, and it could have ruined her chances if he discovered she was dallying with you.”
To Lily’s relief, Heath’s tone was a trifle less harsh when he spoke. “Is that the reason you interrupted us? Because you worried she might spoil her chances with her new protector?”
“Ummm…not exactly.”
“Then what, exactly?”
Lily risked a glance at Heath. His jaw was still set in anger, she saw. “I…didn’t want you kissing her.”
He stared for a moment before the hard line of his mouth eased. “You were jealous.”
Feeling a betraying blush rise to her cheeks, Lily ducked her head. “Well…yes.”
Silence reigned for a time. Then Heath came to sit beside her on the sofa. “I suppose I should be flattered. And encouraged. I must be making progress in my courtship if you were roused to jealousy.”
The faint hint of humor in his tone made Lily stiffen. “Don’t raise your hopes too high, my lord. I still have no intention of marrying you.”
She felt his gaze intensify on her again. “You acknowledge your jealousy, but you won’t consider my proposal? That makes little sense. Why are you so damned set against marrying me, Lily?”
“I told you why.”
“Because your parents’ union was hostile. It doesn’t follow that ours will be so.”
Squaring her shoulders, Lily looked up. “If you had experienced their battles all during your childhood, you would not be so eager to wed, either.”
His gaze bored into hers. “So you believe our marriage would be a battleground, like theirs was.”
“I…don’t know,” Lily finally said. “But I am not willing to risk it. I don’t wish to be miserable for the rest of my life, the way my mother was.”
A muscle flexed in Heath’s jaw. “You are equating me with your father again.” When Lily refused to comment, he made a sound like a growl. “What did he do to your mother that was so terrible?”
Lily swallowed, her stomach clenching with the old, old pain. “I don’t wish to discuss it.”
“Damn and blast it, Lily! How can I defend myself as being different from your father if I haven’t a clue what he did?”
“Very well…” The pain welled up inside as she choked out the words. “If you must know…he struck her! He beat her with his fists and felled her to the floor and then kicked her till she screamed. And I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear it! So I grabbed up a knife and told Papa to leave her alone or I would kill him. And I meant it. I would have killed him had he raised his fists against her again. Is that what you wished to hear?”
Her voice had risen practically to a shout, and when she ceased, her breath came in hoarse, uneven pants.
Heath stared at her, his expression arrested. Lily stared back, gritting her teeth fiercely, refusing to look away. But her chest felt hard and heavy and tight, while the back of her throat ached and her eyes stung with tears.
His expression softened then, and she read sympathy in the perceptive hazel depths.
Swallowing hard, Lily averted her gaze from Heath’s suddenly gentle one. She didn’t want his sympathy, his pity. She didn’t want his tender touch, either-yet she was given no choice. She felt the warm, sliding pressure of his fingers as they raised her chin, compelling her to regard him.
“So you were forced to protect your mother from your father’s violence,” he said, his tone very gentle.
Nodding, Lily sat there rigidly, struggling to hold on to her composure. Her voice was a tearful rasp when she finally spoke. “My greatest regret was that I couldn’t help her further. A year later Mama finally took a lover to allay her misery, and then she was banished from her home and even her country. You…you know about the resulting scandals.”
For a span of several heartbeats, Heath remained silent. Then he reached up to capture her face carefully between his palms. “I would never strike you, Lily. Never. I would never be physically violent with a woman, no matter the provocation.”
She searched his face, his intent expression, and could give him no argument. Somehow she was certain Heath would not hurt her physically…but emotionally was another matter altogether.
“Even so, I won’t allow any man to have that kind of power over me. As your wife, by law I would be little more than your chattel. If you chose to beat me-or even kill me-I would have no recourse.”
Reflexively, Heath clenched his jaw at the ludicrous notion that he would ever raise a hand to Lily, although he supposed he could appreciate her perspective, even if it frustrated the devil out of him. But he forced himself to hide his frustration as he smoothed the knuckles of his hand across her cheekbone.
Seeing her dark eyes so big and bright with incipient tears, he felt a fierce surge of protectiveness toward her-along with an intense, burning need to dig up her father from his grave and punish him for what he’d done to his wife and daughter.
At least now, however, Heath better understood Lily’s fervent desire for independence. Her determination to carve out her own destiny. Her fear of putting her fate in any man’s hands. Even her stubborn determination to place him in the same category as her bastard father. With her bitter experience, she couldn’t trust that he would be any different.
When his hand slid lower, giving a delicate massage to the curve of her neck, Lily stiffened and pulled back, obviously discomfited.
“If you will pray excuse me…” Dashing a hand over her eyes to wipe away any trace of tears, she rose abruptly to her feet. Her fingers knotting together, she glanced down at Heath. “I am sorry if I made you angry by allowing Ada to attempt your seduction, but perhaps it was for the best. Now you know why I can never consent to be your wife.”
With that barely audible murmur, she turned and quit the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
Heath sat there for a long while after she had gone, contemplating his courtship of Lily and how he should respond to her revelation.
For one thing, he would have to show her indisputably that he was far, far different from her father, or any of the other men she’d known who treated women like chattel or used violence to hurt and dominate.
Heath’s jaw hardened. He couldn’t stop thinking about that haunted pain in Lily’s eyes when she’d confessed about threatening her father in order to save her mother from assault. He remembered seeing that same look last week when Lily had chased O’Rourke from the house, brandishing a statue at his retreating back. And when she’d flung herself against the gang of bullies in the alley to defend a mongrel dog.
It also explained why she’d insisted on kindness as a qualification for the candidates he invited to the soiree. And why she was so irate about the injustice done to some of the young women she’d taken under her wing here at the boardinghouse. And why she’d put herself out to help two of them escape a life of prostitution by finding them respectable jobs in her own home.
Lily’s actions reflected her ferocious desire to protect the weak and helpless, which touched Heath with tenderness for her.
Yet after learning about her father-after witnessing the pain in her eyes and hearing it in her voice-Heath finally realized just how difficult a task he faced, trying to win Lily’s hand in marriage. She would never let down her guard because she was afraid to give herself to any man, lover or husband.
He would have to teach her about tenderness, about intimacy, about trust, that much was certain to him. She was like a wild woodland creature, cautious, wary, in need of coaxing, of gentling.
He’d made a start last night when he’d held her in his arms, Heath decided. He would wager half his fortune that Lily had never felt such emotional closeness with a man before him.
He’d never felt that kind of shared tenderness, either, and he knew it was very special.
At the memory, Heath closed his eyes momentarily, recalling the naked feel of her pressed into the curve of his body, her warmth, her fragrance. He knew instinctively that Lily’s passion was something he alone could kindle-a thought that gave him primal satisfaction. But he wanted more than merely to control her body. Much more.
He wanted Lily for his wife.
Attaining that goal, however, would be the biggest challenge he’d ever faced. The decision to marry him had to be Lily’s. He couldn’t force her to accept him. She would have to take him for her husband because she wanted to.
And very likely, the only reason she would want to was if she loved him enough to overcome her doubts and fears about him.
Which meant he must strive to make her fall in love with him.
Heath frowned darkly in contemplation. Perhaps using his sexual prowess was not the best way to win her heart after all. Nor was wooing Lily with marriage in mind. As long as she felt pursued and hounded by his courtship, she would keep her defenses unassailable.
But what if he were to back off his campaign? What if he were to cease pursuing her?
Admittedly, he could benefit from a respite himself. Every morning he woke with a painful arousal that wouldn’t cease. And each time he touched Lily, kissed her, held her, became more and more tormenting. If he had to endure another chaste night with her, making love to her without really making love to her, he feared he wouldn’t be able to hold back. He would give in to his fierce desire for her and make his possession irrevocable.
But if he retreated, Heath mused, perhaps he could bring some discipline to the fire in his senses and manage a semblance of control over his hunger.
It seemed a very wise step to avoid any further sexual intimacy with Lily at least. And an even wiser step to stop wooing her for now. To give her time to sort things out for herself instead of constantly pressing her to marry him.
Meanwhile, Heath thought, slowly nodding with resolve, he would use the opportunity to determine how to earn Lily’s trust and respect, to show her a better, more admirable side of his character, so she would have no doubt that he was utterly and completely different from the kind of man she despised and feared.