It frightens me that he has won the game, since he now has three more months to court me. How can I possibly resist him for so long?
– Lily to Fanny
As expected, that evening when Lily confessed to Fleur and Chantel about Heath’s latest gift, they were not only delighted but impressed by his romantic gesture. How many suitors gave their sweethearts a ship?
The courtesans happily awarded Lord Claybourne another point, bringing his total to ten, and proclaimed him the winner of the game, which sent a surge of panic flooding through Lily. The thought of Heath courting her for three more full months alarmed her, since she couldn’t trust herself to be able to resist him for so long.
The past fortnight had proven how vulnerable she was in the face of his persistent pursuit. No matter how determined she was to keep her heart’s defenses intact, Lily feared she would eventually lose the battle.
She did not want to fall in love with Heath and be tempted to accept his marriage proposal.
Somehow, despite his victory in the game, she had to convince him that she didn’t desire him either as a suitor or lover or husband, Lily reflected, trying to calm herself.
Meanwhile she would have to keep him at arm’s length. Most certainly she couldn’t risk being alone with him ever again. She knew exactly where such intimacy would lead-as today’s encounter on board his ship had decidedly proven.
Yet she was honor bound to share his company for part of each day, starting tomorrow evening at the dinner Marcus was holding for Roslyn and her duke.
In dire need of assistance, Lily waylaid Basil directly after supper and begged him to escort her to the dinner the next evening.
Regrettably, Basil looked at her as if she had gone daft. “You know I don’t care for fancy dinners and such. And wedding celebrations are the worst.”
“Yes, I know,” Lily agreed, “but I don’t want to be alone with Lord Claybourne.”
“Why not?”
“Because I might do something I would forever regret. Please, Basil, you have to help me,” Lily implored. “It won’t be too difficult. All you need do is stay by my side for the evening.”
Basil eyed her the same way he’d done when they were children and she had led him into some risky escapade, before he finally emitted a long-suffering sigh. “Very well, but you owe me yet another favor, Lily.”
“Yes, of course, whatever you ask. You are a true gentleman.”
She kissed Basil’s cheek in gratitude, overlooking his flush as she turned away and headed for the writing desk in the parlor. She had to send a note to Marcus informing him to expect an additional guest at his dinner. And she had to review her strategy to keep Heath at a distance.
Tomorrow evening, Lily vowed, she would ignore his presence as much as possible and behave with total aloofness. If she was required by politeness to respond to him, she would be perfectly bland and boring. She would not smile or laugh, and she would certainly not allow Heath to provoke her as he was so fond of doing.
Even so, she dreaded the coming encounter. Basil would be her only ally, for she couldn’t count on her sisters to take her side when it came to love and matrimony. Not when they were so much in love themselves. Lily still planned to stay the night at Marcus’s town house after the dinner so that she could be with her sisters, and so that the next morning she and Arabella could help Roslyn dress for her wedding day.
Lily spent Monday afternoon packing a valise-including the gowns she would wear to the dinner and the wedding-and was ready at five o’clock when Marcus’s carriage came to collect her.
Roslyn and Arabella had arrived just ahead of her, and Lily was glad that the bustle of settling into their rooms and having a sisterly coze precluded her dwelling much on Heath.
Moreover, she didn’t want to say or do anything to spoil Roslyn’s happiness. Roslyn was positively glowing with joy, which made her delicate beauty seem almost incandescent. Thus, Lily prevaricated when questioned about her own welfare, not wanting to mention her courtship troubles. Whenever the conversation veered too close to Lord Claybourne, she steered it away again.
Fortunately Basil arrived early for the dinner in a hired hack. Having already dressed, Lily was there to welcome him and take him into the drawing room, where the company would gather before dinner. So she had time to remind Basil of his promise to remain by her side throughout the evening.
When Arabella and Marcus joined them, followed by Roslyn and Arden, Lily introduced Basil to the two noblemen, explaining that Mr. Eddowes was an old family friend. And she chimed in occasionally when Arabella and Roslyn reminisced with Basil about their childhood days together in Hampshire.
Lady Freemantle appeared shortly after that. Quickly, Lily led Basil across the drawing room to admire a portrait by Gainsborough so she wouldn’t have to endure Winifred’s vexing machinations. Even so, she couldn’t help feeling agitated as she waited for a certain handsome marquess to arrive.
She sensed his presence the moment he walked in. Heath’s broad-shouldered form seemed to fill the drawing room, while his magnetism was a powerful lure for all her feminine sensibilities. And when Lily locked gazes with him across the way, the hint of a smile he sent her held an intimacy that made her feel as if they were the only two people in all the world.
She found it nearly impossible to look away, and just as difficult to keep her greeting to a mere nod when Heath approached her. But she responded in monosyllables when he spoke to her. And as soon as possible, she turned her attention to the other guests, dragging Basil with her.
She spent the next ten minutes quizzing the bridegroom about his plans to visit Arden Castle in Kent for the first leg of his wedding journey with his bride. Afterward the duke would take Roslyn to Paris and then travel on to Brittany to visit the former Lady Loring, where Victoria had settled with her new French husband. Lily was constantly aware of Heath, however, and where he was at any given moment.
Then Marcus’s sister, Lady Eleanor Pierce, arrived, along with her elderly aunt, Lady Beldon. The vivacious raven-haired beauty kissed Marcus affectionately on the cheek before she sought out Heath and gave him the same fond salutation.
It was absurd to feel a sharp twinge of jealousy at the sweet gesture, Lily knew, yet she couldn’t help it. Especially when Lady Eleanor stood there laughing delightedly up at Heath.
Recalling her plan, Lily focused her attention on Basil, pretending to hang on his every word. It dismayed her a little, therefore, when Lady Eleanor brought Heath over to join them and then somehow managed to draw Basil aside, leaving Lily alone with the very man she had earnestly hoped to avoid.
“Will you permit me to take you in to dinner?” was Heath’s first remark.
“That is kind of you, my lord,” Lily said in an offhand manner, “but Basil has already offered. You and I won’t be seated together at dinner, either.”
“I suppose you made certain of the seating arrangements?”
“Well…yes.”
“Then I will settle for sitting beside you during the wedding tomorrow.”
“I have promised to sit beside Basil tomorrow,” Lily hastened to say.
Heath arched an eyebrow. “You have two sides, do you not? I will sit on your right, and he may have the left. I believe I have earned the privilege. Fleur informs me that they have deemed me the winner of our game.”
“Yes, they have,” Lily said despondently.
“It will be our first time to be seen in public together. Somehow it seems fitting that we will be attending a wedding together.”
“We will not be attending together,” she pointed out. “I will be riding to the church with my sisters.”
“As you did for your eldest sister’s wedding. I remember the moment you arrived. You captured my attention with your laughter.” Heath smiled as though it was a pleasurable memory.
“Oh? I don’t particularly recall meeting you then,” Lily lied.
His eyes sparkled with humor. “You wound me, darling. Am I really so forgettable?”
He was no such thing, she thought, trying to ignore the devilish charm dancing in his eyes.
“You cannot say you have forgotten our first kiss in the barn loft, or any of the kisses that followed.”
“My lord!” Lily hissed in a repressive undertone, glancing around to see if he had been overheard.
“Are we back to ‘my lord’ now? What have I done to earn such disdain?”
“You can hardly object to the term,” she retorted. “You know that ‘my lord’ is the proper form of address when we are in polite company.”
“I can accept that as long as you call me by my given name in private.”
Somewhat agitated, Lily looked away, searching for Basil.
“Do you expect Eddowes to come to your rescue?” Heath asked curiously. “What is he now, your protector?”
“Of a sort,” Lily replied, aware of the desperation in her thinking.
“You seem very fond of him.”
“I am indeed. We have known each other since we were in leading strings.”
Heath reached up to touch her chin, bringing her gaze back to his. “I think you have grown a little fond of me, too, Lily.”
She couldn’t issue an honest denial, no matter how much she wanted to. “Against my better judgment,” Lily murmured, finally looking straight at him. “But simply because I hold you in affection doesn’t mean I wish to marry you or spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Do you hold me in affection, sweeting?” Heath asked, his tone a tender tease.
Lily pressed her lips together. “That was a slip of the tongue. I consider you a friend, nothing more.”
“I think we have gone far beyond mere friendship. I have been inside of you, remember?”
“Will you stop that!” Lily demanded in frustration.
Thankfully, she was spared from further provocation when Marcus’s butler, Hobbs, appeared and announced that dinner was served.
Even more thankfully, Heath made no effort to approach her again that evening. Instead, he spent much of the time with Lady Eleanor-an unexpected turn of events that strangely unsettled Lily.
The image of them laughing together stayed with her as she tossed and turned in her solitary bed that night, no matter how much she tried not to think of Heath with the lively, lovely Lady Eleanor.
Lily woke late the following morning, weary and bleary-eyed, but she made a concerted effort to be cheerful when she and Arabella gathered in Roslyn’s bedchamber to help her bathe and dress. It was not too difficult since Roslyn’s high spirits were infectious. Lily couldn’t help but be sad, however, that she was losing her other sister.
Roslyn eventually noticed her melancholy and commented on it. “Lily, I know you would rather I didn’t marry Drew, but I love him dearly. More than I thought it was possible to love anyone.”
“That is quite obvious,” Arabella interjected with a fond smile at Roslyn, “from the way you look at him. And he spent the entire evening gazing adoringly at you. It is frankly remarkable to see the elusive, cynical Duke of Arden wearing his heart on his sleeve for all to see.”
“I don’t object to you marrying him if you are happy, Rose,” Lily said, feeling her throat ache with love for her sister.
“I am happy, truly. I can only wish you the same happiness, Lily, with a man as wonderful as Drew.”
A wonderful man like Heath, Lily found herself thinking. A man who was tender and generous and gentle and strong…
For a fleeting moment, Lily caught herself imagining that she was the one preparing for her wedding day just now, eager to become Heath’s bride. Doubtless, it was her unsteady emotions making her harbor such foolish musings. She should know better.
With a deliberate effort she shrugged off her nonsensical reflections and managed a laugh. “Your idea of happiness and mine are quite different, Rose. I would not be happy as a wife. But I must say that I am highly envious of your trip to Paris and Brittany. That is kind of Arden to take you to see Mama.”
“Indeed. But he realizes how much it means to me after we were estranged from her for so long.” Roslyn shook her head. “We are on much better terms with Mama than Drew is with his mother. And I admit I am very glad that the duchess will be remaining here in London after our wedding.”
Lily understood her sister’s sentiment, since she’d heard how cold and haughty the Duchess of Arden was. “The duke told me last night that you mean to remain at Arden Castle for the first week of your wedding journey.”
“Yes. Drew wants to have his family home to ourselves for a time, so he gave his mother an ultimatum-and she promised to make herself scarce for the duration of our visit to Kent.”
Arabella nodded in sympathy. “And you won’t have to endure the duchess’s company much after you are wed.”
“Fortunately not,” Roslyn agreed. “We will be living here in London most of the year since Drew has so many obligations to Parliament and the government.”
“Well,” Arabella interrupted briskly, “we had best stop chatting and get you dressed, or you will be late. You don’t want to keep your groom waiting at the altar for long. Lily, will you ring for Nan so she can arrange Roslyn’s hair? We could do it ourselves, as we did for years, but with so much of the ton sure to be in attendance, she must look worthy of being a duke’s bride.”
A large number of the ton was indeed present at St. George’s church in Hanover Square, Lily saw when they arrived. And most of those wedding guests were amazed to see the illustrious Duke of Arden willingly don the shackles of matrimony to marry Miss Roslyn Loring, whose family had such a scandalous past.
The baroque splendor of the church provided a regal setting for a society wedding. With her elegant golden beauty, Roslyn made the loveliest bride imaginable, and Arden seemed her ideal match with his fair hair and strikingly handsome features. Indeed, their union seemed like the perfect ending to a fairy tale.
Lily spent much of the lengthy ceremony trying to calm her unsettled nerves. She was much too aware of Heath sitting beside her, and too aware of how his proximity would look to the ton, rousing speculation that there would soon be a third wedding in the Loring family.
She spoke to Heath as little as possible, not only because she wanted to discourage his suit but because of the tightness in her throat. When at last the ceremony ended and Lily said her final farewells to the bride and groom, the threatening sting of tears only increased.
Mutely she accompanied the other guests as they left the church to gather on the massive Corinthian portico and see off the newlywedded couple in the duke’s coach, which was adorned with white roses and satin ribbons and pulled by a team of six white horses wearing plumed headdresses.
Heath stood beside Lily, watching as the carriage drove away. Basil had disappeared somewhere in the crowd, although she hadn’t noticed his absence until this moment. Fanny was speaking to Arabella while waiting for her own carriage.
Glancing up at Heath, Lily swallowed against the ache. “Well,” she murmured, her voice husky with unshed tears, “I believe I have fulfilled my obligation to you for today, my lord-spending time in your company.”
He merely looked at her for a long moment. Then to her startlement, he took her elbow and escorted her back inside the church.
Perplexed, Lily went along reluctantly as he led her down a maze of corridors. When they reached a deserted chamber that appeared to be a clerical office, Heath shut them inside, then turned to face her.
“That is the problem between us, isn’t it Lily? You see me merely as an obligation.”
She regarded Heath uncertainly, wondering what his objective was in bringing her here. “Since you asked…yes. I am obliged to endure your formal courtship since you won the game. Yet I agreed to the terms, so I am prepared to honor my word.”
“But you would rather be drowned in boiling oil.”
“Well, to be quite candid-”
His mouth curled with irony. “Are you ever otherwise?”
“To be honest, Heath,” Lily began again, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice, “your courting me continues to be pointless. I will never wed you. And I don’t believe you truly want to wed me.”
“You are gravely mistaken, Lily.” His searching eyes were vibrantly intense, disturbingly aware. “I want to wed you more than ever…because I have fallen in love with you.”
Lily drew in a sharp breath, certain she hadn’t heard him correctly. “You cannot mean that.”
“Of course I can. I love you, Lily. Rather intensely, in fact.”
The desperation she felt increased to panic. How could she keep her heart safe when he was saying such tender things to her?
“You do not love me, Heath! You couldn’t possibly. You have known me for barely two weeks.”
“It has been much longer since we first met. And even then I knew you were very special. Someone who might prove to be my ideal match.”
“But love?” Lily shook her head earnestly. She wouldn’t believe that Heath really loved her. She couldn’t let herself. “I just cannot credit it.”
His bright eyes held hers, never wavering. “Do you want to know why I fell in love with you, sweetheart? Because you are vibrant and passionate and full of life. You make me feel alive. You make me feel joyous and exhilarated. With you I look forward to each new day as an adventure. That is why I love you.”
He gave a soft laugh. “I have been looking for you my entire life, Lily, even though I never realized it. And once I found you, I had no choice but to love you.”
At his confession, Lily felt a helpless dismay wash over her. She didn’t dare listen to Heath’s beguiling words. They were too seductive. Too dangerous. They made her heart too vulnerable.
She had to return their argument to a logical footing at once, she thought frantically.
“You want me as your wife because you want heirs,” she insisted.
“No, Lily. I once thought I could be satisfied with a marriage of convenience because we are compatible in so many ways. But I was wrong. To be happy, I need a real marriage with you. I want a family with you, children. A future. But most of all I want your love. I am not asking for that now. I think in time it will come. But for now I will be satisfied if you simply give me a chance.”
Stepping closer, Heath curled his hand against her cheek. “You fill a void in me I never knew existed, Lily. And I believe I can fill that same void in you. I could be a good husband to you.”
Her gaze was caught helplessly in his as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. Lily wanted to protest. That fierce yearning was stirring inside her again, and she knew it would only lead to pain and heartache…
When she determinedly managed to push away the tender feelings and draw back abruptly, Heath sighed and lowered his hand. “You will have to come to the same conclusion on your own, Lily. The decision to marry me must be yours, because you want to. Because you want to spend the rest of your life with me. Because you can’t imagine any other choice. That is how I feel about you, Lily. I can’t imagine living my life without you.”
“And I cannot imagine living my life with you, Heath,” she said rather desperately. “You know I plan to never marry.”
“Because you fear being hurt.” His eyes delved deeply, intently into hers. “I cannot guarantee that I will never hurt you. I can only swear that I will never betray you or abandon you. But you will have to take me on faith. I cannot make you trust me, any more than can I make you believe my feelings for you.”
Clenching her fingers together, Lily retreated another several steps. “I don’t believe you truly love me,” she repeated fervently. “Noblemen of your ilk don’t fall in love.”
Faint amusement touched his mouth. “Try telling that to Marcus and Drew.”
Knowing she was losing the debate, Lily groped for an even more desperate argument. “Even if you did fancy yourself in love with me, you cannot promise me fidelity forever. My father was disastrously unfaithful in his marriage, and you could be just like him. I couldn’t trust that you would give up your myriad lovers for my sake.”
Heath’s gaze was intense, clear, and suddenly ruthlessly focused on hers. She could see he was struggling to keep his emotions in check, and his tone held a rough edge when he replied. “Even if you question my honor, you should have more confidence in your own abilities. Any man who can command all that fiery passion of yours in bed will likely never stray. Fidelity is one thing I can promise you.”
Lily shook her head again. “It doesn’t matter how many promises you make, Heath. I won’t risk it.”
His jaw hardening in frustration, he raked a hand through his hair. “Your cherished independence will be cold comfort when you are old and gray. You were not meant for spinsterhood.”
She raised her chin stubbornly. “I was willing to be your mistress, but you turned me down out of hand.”
“Because carnal pleasure is not enough for me. For you, either, I am sure of it. And that is something I can prove to you.”
Her regard turned uneasy. “What do you mean?”
Closing the distance between them, he reached up to cup her left breast. Lily jumped at the unmistakable sizzle of lightning his touch engendered. As her nipple sprang to taut life, she drew back, shaken, and turned away in alarm, blindly reaching for the door.
She had grasped the handle when Heath wordlessly moved to stand behind her, drawing her back against his body. She felt the warmth of his thighs against the backs of her legs, even through their clothing.
His voice dropped to a rough murmur. “Shall I prove my claim, sweet Lily?”
“No, don’t-”
“I think I should.” He molded himself to her body, triggering a surge of heat deep inside her. “I could take you right here, you know…from behind, so that I wouldn’t even have to see your face.”
When he lifted her skirts, Lily went rigid, feeling the sudden kiss of cool air on her bare thighs, her exposed buttocks. She couldn’t believe Heath was acting this outrageous way. It would be scandalous to make love in a church.
His wickedness shocked her, but his coldness shocked her even more. Yet she was powerless to pull away, and she remained mute as his hands slid softly over the globes of her buttocks, even when his knee eased her legs apart.
When his fingers trailed up her inner thigh to brush against her silky folds, though, Lily gasped, her stomach clenching as she felt those long, strong fingers caressing her. When he teased the bud of her sex, Lily gritted her teeth, fighting that part of herself that hungered for him. It was shameful, how much she wanted him.
Then he slowly slid a finger inside her and nearly buckled her knees. She pushed back against him helplessly, locking her jaw to hold back her moan of need, her hand gripping the doorknob as if her life depended on it.
Yet he was right, Lily realized in some distant part of her mind. Carnal pleasure was not enough. His touch was detached, passionless, calculating. Nothing like the tender lover she longed for.
His voice was just as remote when he spoke again. “I don’t believe I will take you this way after all. You see, angel…if all I wanted was nameless, faceless sex, any woman would do.”
Withdrawing his finger from her, Heath let her skirts fall. Lily shivered with disappointment and shame, but it appeared he wasn’t done with her.
He kept his body pressed against hers while his lips found her ear. “I could make you scream with pleasure, Lily. But in the end, all that would be engaged are our bodies. It is your heart and mind I want. Your very soul.”
A sharp ache escalated in her chest while absurd, ridiculous tears pricked at the back of her eyes. She bit her lip hard because she didn’t want to cry, but Heath went on, his voice harsh and low.
“It is you I want, Lily,” he repeated. “Not any other lover. Not any other woman. Not any other wife. But I intend to grant your wish. I am through chasing you and beating my head against the walls you’ve erected. Unless you agree to wed me, I intend to keep away from you.”
His hands reaching up to lightly grasp her shoulders, he eased her away from the door and opened it, then stepped out into the corridor. But he glanced back over his shoulder at her, his eyes dark as night and bright as fire.
“What we have between us is unique and very rare, Lily. Only a fool would throw it away. I never took you for a fool, but perhaps I was wrong.”
He left her standing there, staring after him. He couldn’t have unnerved her more if he’d shaken her. She felt dazed, dismayed, miserable.
Which was supremely foolish. Heath shouldn’t have the power to hurt her. But he had walked away, Lily acknowledged, feeling the hot sting of tears behind her eyes.
Becoming aware of her weakness, she dashed furiously at the dampness. She wouldn’t cry over a man as her mother had done so frequently. Indeed, there was no reason for her to cry. This was exactly what she had wanted, hoped for! For Heath to leave her entirely alone.
She had been right to refuse his offer of marriage; right to reject his dubious declarations of love. She couldn’t deny that a sharp pain had settled in the pit of her stomach, but there would be far worse pain in store if she allowed herself to be drawn into loving him.
Wiping her eyes one last time, Lily took a shaky breath and left the room in search of Basil.
“Where the devil have you been?” he demanded when she found him outside on the portico. “You told me to remain beside you-”
“Never mind, will you please just take me home?”
His gaze narrowed. “What is wrong, Lily? Have you been crying?”
“Yes, because I am sad at losing my sister. But nothing is wrong. Indeed, everything is utterly perfect.”
She kept telling herself that during the entire drive back to the boardinghouse, no matter that she couldn’t make herself believe it for a single moment.
As soon as they entered, however, Lily was jarred from her emotional turmoil.
Something was wrong, she realized as Ellen came rushing up to her in agitation. Apparently the chambermaid had been watching for her arrival.
“Oh, Miss Loring, Miss Delee wants to see you right away!”
“What is the matter, Ellen?” Lily asked, somewhat alarmed.
“I don’t know exactly, but I think it has to do with Miss Irwin.”
“Where is Miss Delee?”
“In her sitting room upstairs.”
“I will go to her at once,” Lily said, turning away quickly.
She hurried up the stairs with Basil hard on her heels. When she reached the sitting room, she found Chantel wringing her hands and Fleur pacing the floor. Another distraught woman was seated on the sofa, her face splotched with tears.
Fanny’s dresser, Joan Tait, Lily realized as she entered.
“Thank God you are here, Lily!” Chantel exclaimed, while Fleur’s head snapped up.
“Where is Lord Claybourne, Lily?” Fleur demanded urgently. “We need him at once!”
“Why?” Lily asked in bewilderment, looking from Fleur to Chantel and back again. “What has happened?”
“That dastardly O’Rourke took Fanny, and we need Claybourne to rescue her!”