A clearing in the forest opened up to a beautiful garden of ripe carrots and tomatoes, potatoes and celery, the care and attention so reminiscent of Jack’s love. And there were peppers. Chili peppers, bell peppers, pepper corns, in red, yellow, orange, and black. Beside the garden perched an adorable cottage with crimson colors and cottontail trim.
Two men sat on the steps to the cottage. One had a frog-like face. The other had a mouth that looked like a fish. They had on curly white wigs, like courtroom judges, and their tailored suits made them look as though they were only interested in getting down to serious business. So why were they sitting on the steps?
Clanging and crashing noises called out from the interior of the cottage. Sounded like pots and pans being tossed about. The men sat there unperturbed, not speaking.
“Hi,” Alice said to the two men. “What are you sitting on the steps for?”
“We have an invitation to deliver,” the frog-looking man said.
“An invitation to what?”
“To the queen’s croquet game.”
Oh! To play croquet with a queen, Alice thought. How wonderful that would be!
Jealousy burdened her heart. Alice wanted an invitation, too.
“Who’s the invitation for?” Alice asked.
“For the duke. So we’re waiting,” Frog-face said.
“Waiting for what?”
“For the duke to finish.”
Alice heard the interior clamoring noise violently shatter the serenity of the garden. She overheard a man inside shouting, “You good for nothing woman! Stirring the soup the wrong way! Clockwise! Clockwise!”
“What’s going on in there?” Alice asked.
“The duke is hurting the cook.”
“What?!”
“The duke is hurting the-”
“I heard what you said!” Alice felt her body grow cold. “Why don’t you stop him?”
“Because of the percentages. You see, we have 100 % responsibility to stop the duke so the two of us have 50 % responsibility.”
“And since you’re now here,” Frog-face continued, “that’s three of us. So each of us have about 33 % responsibility to stop him, meaning we each have about 66 % responsibility to not stop him.”
Alice could hear the duke shouting, “Good for nothing woman! Even sex with you is like stuffing a piece of dead meat!”
Alice clenched her fists. She pounded on the door, “Open up! Open up! Open up!”
She grabbed the handle. It didn’t budge. She hammered on the door yelling for the duke to open it. The door flung open and in the doorway stood a large man. Alice saw the fury in his face. The aroma of chili pepper stabbed her eyes.
He put his puffy red face right up to Alice’s and growled, “What the hell do you want?”
Alice gulped.
The two men behind Alice announced, “My Lord, you are invited to attend the queen’s croquet game.”
Suddenly all the redness in the duke’s face seemed to vanish. “The… the queen’s croquet game! I…I better not be late!”
He put on a coat and turned to Alice. His gaze dripped down her body.
Alice shuddered.
“I’ll deal with you and that fragile, little body of yours later. In the meantime, breastfeed my baby boys.”
And the duke left accompanied by the odd-looking officers.