IN the week that followed I made ready for our departure. Katherine made her future appointments with me. Maria's husband, Ned, was interviewed formally. He would come into service with me, I told him carefully. His uniform would be that of a valet. He would be put to many different tasks. Maria-I was pleased to think-had evidently scolded him into agreement beforehand since his continued nodding during my conversation became almost tiresome. His physique, however, was entirely suitable -his thighs good, his loins muscular.
There would be Frederick also, as I apprised Katherine. He had been permitted no further licence with her. To ensure that, I had kept him to the house while she was elsewhere. The day before leaving I called her to my room.
"You will devise a play-not too simple a one, Katherine. I will have it performed a few weeks after we have settled in again."
She curtsied playfully. I had not asked her to sit. "Shall there be many players? Six or eight, perhaps?" she asked.
I merely nodded as if my thoughts were already elsewhere. It is a simple enough trick. It keeps those I need, desire-or would work to my will-in a state of slight imbalance.
"You will engage Amanda in it," I said. "We shall then best see her progress-and her silver stocking bands, no doubt. And the maid at Arabella's house-the young one who attended upon us. I want her. You will obtain and bring her."
The play itself would be of no great importance. The words, the acts, could be peeled away at my discretion and replaced by others. Arabella possessed a controllable wantonness, as I had witnessed. She would present a voluptuous example to occasional novices. As to the young maid who had lain at my feet after tonguing me-the sly-eyed, sloe-eyed one-there was a hint of impudence in her eyes that I could quell at will or use according to my whims.
On the morning of our departure I made Caroline ready in the prettiest of blue dresses with matching bonnet and patterned stockings of the same shade. For myself 1 wore a modish back dress, severely buttoned to the neck, with a pearl choker. My bonnet was a three-cornered one. It gave me a slightly swashbuckling air without looking flirtatious. As to the kid gloves I had desired, I had now a dozen pairs in different shades. My uncle's wallet had been well pillaged.
Maria and Jenny, I attired in oatmeal cloaks with hoods. Beneath, they were naked save for stockings and boots. I placed them, together with the clothes and cases my uncle had been made to endow, in the smaller of two carriages outside.
Aunt Maude had relinquished Maria not without reluctance. We had discussed much in private. I broadened her horizons. There would be garden parties from Friday to Monday on half a dozen occasions throughout the summer, I said. We did not use the word "weekend." It was considered common. From the gatherings, both my aunt and myself would make a discreet choice among the females and, occasionally, their escorts-whether related to them or not. They would be drawn aside and would receive special attention. The likeliest females would be cosseted and flattered. In the privacy of bedrooms there would be means of bringing them to undress and even of displaying them to the males through peepholes in adjoining rooms.
"The males will be discovered at their peeping by one or other of us," I told my aunt. "It will be necessary for them of course to be punished. Their fear of betraying the conventions will make them submit. The females they have viewed and who will remain naked-while being aroused by Maria or Jenny or another-will then be shown to the peepholes in turn and may gaze upon the males in their bondage."
Such discourses pleased my aunt immensely. My imagination flourished. Even so I kept some secrets to myself. There were caves I would not allow her to enter. She sensed that. It gave her a certain air of diffidence as I flourished my images before her. There were moments when she seemed to stand in awe of me.
We stood in my room prior to descending to where Caroline and my uncle waited. Amusement and apprehension mingled in her eyes as I pressed her to the wall and bid her stand with her arms at her sides. I took her cheeks in my hands. They were as smooth as a girl's. "You enjoyed?" I asked. She knew well enough to what I rferred. Her smile was cautious but impish. e "When your bottom took his cock? You were superb," she breathed.
I kept my eyes level with hers. As one enraptured by a fine statue I ran my little finger delicately along her lower lip.
"You will be used," I said.
"With Frederick?" The question was a little unexpected but I absorbed it without expression. She had veiled her desires carefully.
"Yes-and with others. You will obey me, Maude."
It was the first time I had used her Christian name. "Yes," she acquiesced softly. The tips of our tongues touched as if with a timidity at our own daring. My sails were hoisted, set. There would be no turning back for her. Our tongues in their moistness moved. So slowly they moved as if Time had been run down.
"And your uncle?" she asked. Our breaths flowed together. He had not been put to servicing since he had mounted me. His eyes had grown haggard in his waiting. I had had him placed in a small separate bedroom from my aunt. I licked her tongue for the last time and stilled the hands which would have reached for my bottom.
"You may keep him in a stiff but agonised state, his receptacles full. In a few weeks time he will be put to servicing the first of my novices-until then he is not to be milked," I said. My eyes held a strain of severity as I spoke. I released her gently. It would amuse her to follow my instructions, I knew.
I swept down before she could speak, thus forcing her to follow me. In the hall my uncle's glance was timourous. I afforded him a kiss on the cheek. In turning away from him my gloved hand made passing contact with his penis which stood proud in his breeches. The caress would appease him for the moment.
The sun stood high above us as the door opened, flooding the vista with golden light. "The sun is God," the great painter Turner had said on his deathbed twenty years before. It had shone upon his bed, they had said, in the very moment of his uttering the words and dying. In that moment I believed him. Caroline moved in her beauty beside me. Her skirts swept the ground. I went as I had come, yet in my going I was one reborn. Passing the rhododendron bushes I caressed their leaves and blooms once more.
The silence of plants pleases me. They see without seeing, watch without watching. Subservient to the touch, they yet never surrender. Crush them and they will reappear next year or elsewhere. Their chemistry compounds miracles. They are there in their thereness. At night they sleep yet they know not Time. They breathe softly yet are not heard.
"I would be as a plant," I said to Caroline. In the carriage I held her hand. The figures of my aunt and uncle standing on the steps diminished.
"Yes, I would like to be a flower," she replied. She had not understood. It did not matter. Her voice was simple and childish. I saw her as she would be-rooted to the stamen, the pale fusing of the cock with her bottom. She would rock, moan and whimper in her beginnings. Later I would teach her silence. She would know the silence of the plants -the impelling flood of the sap in her gripping. Rising up the embedded stem, it would flood her in its submission. With its last throbbings it would withdraw. She would know the victory-the power.
The house waited for us, bereft of servants. My aunt had dismissed them. It was a wiseness. Only the older gardener, Perkins, was left. He was too withered for my purposes. Appearing at the approach of our carriages, he doffed his hat and acted as footman in opening the door. I gave him the most gracious of my smiles.
The rooms at least had been aired. From the kitchen came smells of butter, cheese and herbs. Mingled withall was the scent of bread which had been left that morning. Milk waited in stone jars, covered with fine net. In the stonewalled larder, lettuces shone their fine diamonds of cool water. All was well. My letter to Father floated upon the oceans. Maria and Jenny removed their cloaks and moved about us. Curiously nervous as they appeared of the windows and the gardener's eyes, I had them don dresses. The proprieties had to be observed. With the drawing of the curtains at night, our world would be enclosed.
"Shall there be visitors?" Caroline asked. Maria made tea. We took it in the drawing room.
"Many. There will be masquerades, amusements, entertainments, Caroline-garden parties. You will enjoy those."
I would chain the girls to trees at night, I thought. Chinese lanterns would float and sway among the leaves. I would move among them with a feather, their dresses raised. One by one they would be carried in for pleasuring. The stables would be candlelit.
Did Caroline read my thoughts? Laying down her cup she rose and looked beyond the French windows to the lawn where the silver larches swayed in their slender beings.
"You will not love me as the others-I know it," she said sullenly. "Will all the girls be young?"
"No." I rose in turn and moved to her. My hand rested upon her shoulder. Her head lay back. Her fine hair tickled my nose. "Some will be matrons-firm of body. The summerhouse is large within, is it not?" Caroline nodded. I could not see her eyes. "Yes-why?" "We shall furnish it to our tastes. What is within?"
"A divan-no more." Her bottom in its roundness moved its globe against my belly. "Father said stopped her.
"I shall ordain. There shall be ottomans, rugs, silken cushions, shaded lamps, a small scattering of whips and birches to tease your bottom. We shall have our privacies there-our secrets, our voluptuousness. Do you understand?"
"Yes," she husked. She turned and nestled in my arms. "Will you. .. will you make me do it there? No one will see, will they?"
"No one-no one but I. You will offer your bottom as you gave your mouth."
So saying, I raised her dress at the back and fondled the satiny orb. Feeling between the cheeks I circled the ball of my thumb about her rosehole, making her clutch my neck and quiver.
"It will b.,. b… be too big!" she quavered.
"Be still!" 1 said sternly, "hold your legs straight, reach up on your toes. Hold so, Caroline!"
"Blub!" she choked. Easing my thumb within I felt her warm tightness to the knuckle, her gripping. Her gripping was as a baby's mouth. With a smooth movement of my free arm I scooped her dress up at the front and cupped her nest. It pulsed in its pulsing. My thumb purred between the lips and parted them.
"Still!" I commanded her. "Hold your dress up-waist high, Caroline!" She obeyed, swaying on her toes as she was. Her eyes glazed as I moved my thumb up deeper into her most secret recess, toying with the small perky button of her clitoris at the same time.
…" she began. I Unable to keep her balance, her heels chattered on the floor. "Wh… Wh… Whoooooo!" she whimpered.
I allowed her the sounds, the small outburstings of breath. The warmth emanating from between her silky thighs was delicious. Had I not intended now to keep her separated from the others I would have had Maria or Jenny enter and tongue her.
"Be quiet now-be quiet now, darling," I coaxed. I had moved to her side in the moving of my hands. Her fingers sought to release her uplifted skirt and clutch at air, but by some silent command they stayed. The folds drooped but a little. The pallor of her thighs gleamed above the blue darkness of her stocking.
The natural elasticity of her bottom eased a little until I was able to insert my thumb fully, my fingers flirting with the nether cheeks. The oiliness of her slit increased-its pulsing fluttered.
"B… B… Beatrice!" she stammered. Her head hung back until I almost feared she might collapse. An intense quivering ran through her. The curving of her straightened legs was exquisite. Of a sudden then her head snapped back, her shoulders slumping as I withdrew my thumb.
"OH!" she choked and would have slid to the floor had I not caught her. "Oh, B:.. Beatrice!"
"So, it shall be," I smiled and kissed her mouth. She would make much of it in the beginning. In time she would kneel for it with glowing pride-an altar of love. After two years, as I had promised myself, she would return to her everydayness, free to leave or to stay.
You ask why-and I know not. Who shall be free and who not? I had chosen to ordain. There were those who would follow and those who would not. Through the dark glass of unknowing they would seek my image. At night they would huddle in the woods, the shrubs, among the wet leavescrying for my presence. I would untie their childhoods. The last drums of their youth would beat for them. In their submission would be their comforting. Wailing and crying they would succumb to that which they had longed for. The whip would burnish their bottoms in their weepings. The velvet curtains would be drawn-receive their tears. The dry leaves of the aspidistras would accept their lamentations. In the mornings they would be as choir girls, clothed in white. Calmed from the storm they would talk softly, twittering. I would absolve their sins. I would teach. In time they would learn the inferiority of mere-the penis-bearers, the money bringers. For as such only would men be used. I would teach.
Now we composed ourselves again. Caroline sat fidgeting a little while Maria removed the tray. She would prepare a meal for Frederick and her husband on their arrival later; I told her. Together with herself and Jenny they would eat in the kitchen.
Maria bobbed and nodded in her going. She saw herself perhaps as the head of a small conclave of servants, but I would know how to split and divide.
"Caroline, you will have a maid shortly," I said when the door had closed. She looked at me in astonishment. We had lived in comparative modesty before. "I?" she asked.
I smiled and seated myself beside her, rolling her warm and slender fingers in my hand.
"A young servant who at present serves Arabella and her family," I explained. The idea had come sudden upon me. It would serve to elevate Caroline above the others.
"She shall be unto you as a handmaid. You will train her," I said. "She will attend upon no one else other than at my bidding."
"Train her?" Caroline's face was a picture. "Oh! shall I be as you, then?" she asked naively but I forebore to laugh. Her sweetness was apparent. She would lend herself with the seeming innocence of an angel to all that I intended.
"In time perhaps, Caroline. You have been stabled, at least. And cupboarded. Was that not splendid? Did you not enjoy it?"
She nodded, her cheeks suffused. "No one will ever tie us together again," she said.
"But I may tie you together with your maid," I laughed. The shyness in her eyes darted with the delicacy of moths. "She is pretty-a perfect body. Pleasures and punishments -mid I not tell you?"
"May I… may I strap her? Just sometimes?"
The question was as unexpected as Aunt Maude's had been about Frederick. Deep pleasures were in my being at such questions. I had the power to answer or not-to assuage, persuade, refuse, mollify or conquer.
"You wish to? Who else did you wish to strap?"
A knowingly attractive pouting of Caroline's mouth offered itself to me.
"Amanda. She wanted silver stocking bands-did you know?"
"Yes, I knew. What else did she say?"
Caroline's eyes retreated. They appeared to take an immense interest in my corsage. "She… she said if they were silver, solid silver, she would let him."
I breathed lightly, betraying no surprise. Ah, Amanda! the depths of you! But no doubt she had seen no other escape and so sought to make her excuses. Caroline had obviously probed and asked. We know not those we know when they are away from us. Father would lie with women in their bronzeness. He would swish their bottoms with a fly-switch. Langourous they would lie, the sweat between their nether cheeks, up-bulbing, offering- the delicate twitching of flesh as the switch descended. Servants would come and go, bearing tea, blind in their unseeing.
"You may strap her, yes, but only playfully," I said, recalling Caroline's question. I would draw her into my plans a little, yet leave her always on a fringe of wondering -the last lines left undrawn, a mid-air hesitation. Workmen would come shortly to commence the building of the stables, I told her. I had promises that the work would be completed in two weeks. The main bedroom which Father normally inhabited would become now my own. Caroline would take the room next to it. The stables would have an annexe that would form a caging room.
My plans expanded with every breath-her face a mirror to my thoughts. Withal a question poised itself on her lips as a bird alights and rests upon a sill.
"But when Father returns?" she asked.
My face was a blankness. "And naturally we shall furnish the summerhouse last," I said as if there had been no pause in my words. Clearly she was about to speak again when the doorbell sounded. Jenny hurried to answer. In a moment she returned bearing a carte de visite on a tray. I took it and read. The name meant nothing to me: THE REV.