I have often been asked to write my memoirs. I have always resisted the blandishments of mere curiosity, however I will yield to yours, my dear Lucien, for I firmly believe in the sincerity of the affection which bound us together during so many years despite the combined witchcrafts of time and absence.
Besides has not my sweetest law always been to obey your will?
Not so, I hear you murmur. I assure you that I am telling you the plain truth, and to punish you for your wicked doubt, I will compel you to follow me into the country, far enough removed from the place in which we actually dwell.
It is towards the Garden of France that we must turn our steps; at some kilometres from Tours, a pleasant city near which lies the Chateau de Pauvanne, the abode of the Marquis de Pauvanne, my grandmother.
It was within the walls of this handsome thirteenth century edifice that the days of my infancy and my youth slipped by.
Sequestered beneath the shade of the venerable trees, adorned with magnificent flowers, refreshed by a dainty stream with its capricious meanderings bathing the skirt of the park, it offered to the glance the most picturesque aspect that one could dream of.
Like the greater part of the young girls belonging to the local aristocracy, my studies took place at the Convent de Marmoutiers.
Then as I grew up, my grandmother desirous of seeing my youth make sunny her white hairs, came one day and took me from the arms of Mother Eudoxie, and carried me off to Pauvanne.
From the child which I had been the day before, I now became a young lady; I had my suite of rooms and my own waiting maid and this seemed to me to be infinitely more delightful than my residence at Marmoutiers.
Not, however, that my life was gay at Pauvanne, no, my grandmother was no longer able to go about; her legs scarcely permitting her to walk even a short distance in the grounds. Hence being unable to accompany her, she gave me full liberty to come and go within the walled enclosures of Pauvanne.
The estate being of considerable extent, I had plenty of elbow room, and I profited by it to explore it to the utmost recesses.
My greatest happiness was to wander in its wildest nooks, and even to lose myself therein, in the reveries of a girl of seventeen.
These reveries were, I ought to own, always of the same nature.
A strange vagueness pervaded my soul; my imagination flew off to unknown regions, and presented to my eyes images of tenderness and devotion in which a young and beautiful man always became the hero.
Although profoundly ignorant with regard to the difference of sex, my senses, already awakened, stirred throughout my entire organism.
Flashes of scorching blood often obscured my sight, my legs trembled and I was obliged to sit down, compelled by the influence of an enervating sensation at once painful and pleasing.
I had left the convent at Easter, and April and May intoxicated me with their odours of springtime; and June despite the heat, could only increase my desire for these solitary strolls.
It was in the morning, beyond all other times, that I made my escape, not yet having lost the habit of early rising which the Nuns inculcate in their pupils. And I have often seen the first rays of the sun issue from the midst of the night and make golden the heaths and fir plantations of Pauvanne.
On my return from one of these excursions, I heard my grandmother announce the expected arrival of my aunt, Helene, news which caused me to cry out in joy.
Helene de Torcol was twenty-five years old and ravishingly beautiful.
For the past two years she had been the widow of the Baron de Torcol, an old man of eighty, with whom her twenty years of age had been cynically associated.
Happily, the Baron promptly took the step of departing to the Lord to ask him for the recompense of his merits and his widow found herself free, without children, and with a yearly income of two hundred thousand francs.
She was certainly the most ravishing person that one could dream of.
Her hair, black as ebony, set off the whiteness of her complexion and it was lit up by the radiancy of the two large brown eyes. Her wide and sensual mouth was habitually slightly open revealing her pearly pointed teeth. Imperceptible black down slightly marked her upper lips and revealed a nature by no means destitute of virility.
Neither too tall nor too short, her dainty figure admirably shaped, with the hand and feet of a child, she appeared to me and to many others of marvelous beauty.
I adored her, her lively vivacious character had long before captivated me, and then accustomed to living in the company of an old lady, I always regarded the coming of Helene as the signal for a crowd of distractions.
We had passed a year together at Marmoutiers, where she was in the highest and I in the lowest class, so I looked upon her more as a friend than as a relation.
For some months back there had been talk of her proposed marriage to the Count de Vycabre, and my grandmother who approved the match, had written to the Count inviting him to pay a visit to the Chateau.
The Count did not need pressing and a few days later came and installed himself at Pauvanne.
The proximity, so close to me, of this engaged couple brought a notable perturbation into my life.
Here we touch upon a delicate matter and I do not know in truth that I can talk about it chastely.
Let Dame Chastity sleep! I hear you insinuate to me.
Alas! I greatly fear that in effect, it will have to be so, and arming myself with an imperturbable assurance I continue.
One morning very early in accordance with my custom, I had hidden myself deep in the park. Seated at the foot of a tree, my mind plunged in vague reverie, I lost all count of time, when an unexpected noise called my to my senses, and I heard steps coming in my direction.
Much perplexed I sank down and, putting aside the foliage, I perceived the profile of my aunt, who was clothed in white and blue morning gown.
M. de Vycabre in a Nanking undress, with a straw hat on his head accompanied her.
They seemed to be talking very eagerly and instinct warned me to avoid their seeing me. I concealed myself behind a dense clump of trees.
The promenaders soon stood still near me, M. de Vycabre glanced round him and his inspection doubtless convinced him that no one could observe them, for he threw his arms around my aunt's waist and drawing her to him, pressed her against his breast. Their lips met and I heard the exchange of a long kiss.
Without understanding the reason, I felt my heart beating violently as I overheard these words'I love you passionately. What a frightful time I have passed without you, my angel-my sweet beloved one-my dear Helene, we shall never leave each other again. Come closer so that I can again be kissed by your lovely eyes, your pretty teeth, your delicious neck-ah, I could eat you!'
My aunt, far from resisting, abandoned herself to him and returned kiss for kiss and caress for caress; her colour was heightened and her beautiful eyes were half closed.
'My Rene!' she said, 'I love you as much as you love me, I belong to you entirely!'
The sight of these caresses produced an indescribable effect in me. My senses quickened as though struck by an electric spark and I almost lost consciousness.
However, I at once regained my self possession and continued to be all eyes and ears.
M. Rene was asking for something which I did not understand, and he appeared to be pressing his request.
'No,' replied Helene, 'not here, I beg of you, I should never dare. Mon Dieu! if anybody were to see us, I should die of it.'
'But dearest, how can anybody see us at this hour?'
'I don't know, but I am afraid. Stay-do you see I could have no pleasure; we will seek a means to come together, I pray you.'
'How can you talk to me of patience in the state I am in? Give me your little hand, judge for yourself.'
The Count took my aunt's hand and put it squarely between his legs so that it was impossible for me to explain to myself the motive. My astonishment became much greater when I saw her hand quickly disappear in a gap that she had quickly unbuttoned.
What she found there I was unable to judge, I saw nothing, but I heard her say with the tenderest inflection: 'Dear Mimi, I see that you have a great desire! And how beautiful you are, I also wish for it greatly, if we only had some shelter I could so quickly put you to right!'
And her little hand moved itself sweetly up and down, while M. de Vycabre stood motionless and enrapt, his legs slightly apart and seemed to enjoy a lively pleasure. After a moment's silence, my aunt exclaimed: 'Ah!'-then suddenly-'what an idea! Come, I recollect there is a convenient pavilion near by, you understand me-it is a singular place in which to screen our love, but no one will see us and I can be entirely yours-come!'
The pavilion of which my aunt spoke had been constructed with a foresight of the feebleness of poor humanity and was in the shape of a cottage of two rooms, it was in good order, so that in case of being surprised by a heavy shower, one might take refuge there.
Protected as I was by the high shrubbery, I could approach the place without fear of being seen. I managed this with infinite precautions and arrived behind the pavilion just as Helene and M. de Vycabre entered.
The Count after casting a glance around the grounds to see if they had been watched, shut the door and pushed the bolt on the inside which protected the entrance of this convenient hidey-hole. I looked about for a commodious observatory and it was speedily found.
The boards and tree trunk, badly joined, presented me with a sufficient opening to see plainly. I placed my eyes to it and held my breath, being witness to that which I shall now describe.
Helene hanging on the neck of M. de Vycabre, devoured him with kisses.
'Come, my dear,' she said, 'it was with a very bad grace that I refused you, but fear prevented me. Here at least I feel reassured. And this good Mimi, what a feast I am going to give him! Stay, thinking about it is nothing, how shall we fix ourselves?'
The pavilion was furnished very primitively, in the first apartment was a wooden seat with a large tree trunk and its branches for a back.
'Rest quietly, we will find a suitable position, but first let me look at Biby-it is so long since I examined her that I am convulsed with desire.'
I delivered myself up to strange reflections on hearing this dialogue and on seeing their actions. What were they going to do? I was not long in finding out.
M. de Vycabre going on one knee, lifted up Helene's petticoats and chemise and seemed to fall into ecstasy.
Under a delicate cambric chemise were revealed two legs worthy of Venus and perfectly moulded, clad in silk stockings, fastened above the knee with flame-coloured garters.
Then above these garters, two adorable thighs, white round and firm which joined one another at their summit, under a fleece of black and lustrous hair, the abundance of which astonished me; for whilst watching I thought of the slight nut brown moss which was beginning to show on me and cover the same parts of my body.
'How I love it,' said the Count, 'how beautiful and fresh it is, my pretty Biby-dearest, open your tiny legs a little so that I may kiss it!'
Helene did as she was asked, her thighs unclosed themselves and allowed me to see the little rosy cleft to which her lover glued his lips.
Helene seemed to be transported, she closed her eyes, incoherent words escaped from her throat, whilst she lent herself to this strange caress by a slight movement.
'Ah, I am dying!' she cried after a moment, 'ah!'
'What is it then, Bon Dieu?' I asked myself, the thought of a caress on this part of the body never having come to me before. I could not see how any one could get pleasure by it, yet I began to feel in the same part ticklings that were of an enlightening nature.
M. de Vycabre raised himself and supported my aunt, whose enervation seemed to be so excessive. This state of prostration did not last long. Helene soon recovered her senses and, entwining her arms around his neck, she kissed him ardently.
'Come my adored one,' she said, 'but how?'
'Turn around, dearest, and lean on this clumsy bit of furniture.'
To my great stupefaction Helene stood up and with rapid and feverish movements undid the Count's trousers and tucked his shirt up under his waistcoat. Then I saw an object so extraordinary to me that I was on the point of crying out.
What could this unknown member be, the rosy head and length and thickness of which seemed so monstrous to me?
Helene did not seem to share my fears, for she took it in her hand, the unknown which had caused my fright-caressed it for a few minutes and said: 'Come, Monsieur Mimi, come to your little friend, and above all, don't come too quickly!'
On saying which my aunt drew up her dress from behind and displayed to the Counts and to me, two little rondures of a dazzling whiteness divided by a line of which I saw but a faint trace.
Then, bending down and placing her hands on the rustic wooden bench, she presented her lover with an elegant croup.
Rene, standing behind her, took in his hand this I-knew-not-what which had so astonished me and commenced to introduce it between the lips which I perceived.
Helene did not stir, she opened as wide as possible the part which jutted out so. Little by little, I saw this dilate and as speedily absorb the monstrosity. The operation was so complete that the stomach of M. de Vycabre was glued against my aunt's buttocks.
Then there took place between them a come and go of combined movements, incoherent talk and broken words.
'Ah, how I love you! You are penetrating me,' said Helene, 'ah, my love, go softly-leave me alone for a moment, ah-ha-more quickly, now-now-I'm dying-ah, ah!'
I looked at Rene, his eyes were half closed, his hands resting on my aunt's hips, he seemed to be in a state of inexpressible beatitude.
'Stay, my angel,-my all!' he said, 'ah, how good it is to be happy, you are happy-is it not so? I feel you are with me-enjoy well my dearest!'
Both rested for a few minutes. My aunt as though swooning, did not change her position, at last she turned her head slightly and giving her lover a kiss, said to him: 'Now together, you will let me know when you are ready.'
Their motion recommenced. At the end of a few moments, the Count in his turn exclaimed: 'Ah, dearest are you…-I can wait no longer!'
'Yes-yes-go-I follow you! I…'
Her voice trailed off into silence while M. de Vycabre seemed almost to give way in his turn and fall on my aunt, who had to rest firmly on her wrists in order to resist his weight.
Then he drew back a little and I saw his astonishing instrument again as it withdrew from the retreat in which it had been so well cased and feasted. But how changed it seemed to me-half as large and reddened. In fact it was no longer the same at all.
The Count put his clothes straight, whilst my aunt raised herself and, throwing her arms round her companion's neck, kissed him tenderly. A calm took possession of them, but not of me. The warm breezes of the fir tree forest blew against me in vain and the morning songs of the birds did not distract me in the least.
My brain whirled-my imagination heated to the utmost degree, caused me to feel a portion of the pleasures of which I had been a witness. I drew up my petticoats, my chemise, and with an inexperienced hand I commenced to explore this tender part, thus assuring myself that I was made like Helene, but without knowing yet what relief this hand of mine could procure me.
I was soon to find out.
After many kisses Helene said to the Count: 'Listen, my dear, I have thought about it-you know that my rooms are situated in the Chateau quite by themselves. My waiting maid is away, no one could dream of our rendezvous, and we could pass some adorable nights together.
'I will send Marcelle to Paris at once under some pretext or other and every evening shall reunite us; so be on the look out, a sign will warn you during the day as to the hour at which it will be safe to slip into my room.
'I trust you to take the most minute precautions.'
It was then decided that M. de Vycabre should leave the little hut first and take a stroll through the park in order to give my aunt a chance to regain her chamber by the servant's staircase.
The Count disappeared and I remained squatted amongst my shrubbery until he was out of sight.
As Madame de Torcol did not at once make her appearance I once more glanced within.
This dainty retreat amidst the trees was furnished with a wash stand and a jug of water in a serviceable condition.
I saw Helene fill the hand basin, raise her petticoats and stand over it.
In the position I occupied, I could see her pretty little cleft open itself. It seemed to me to be of vivid carnation but the sides, the interior and even as far as the thick underwood which surrounded it, seemed to have been plunged into a kind of glutinous fluid.
Helene began an ample ablution and I was preparing to steal gently away when one of her movements stupefied me.
At the commencement of the operation, my aunt's hand carefully refreshed the fatigued parts, but all at once she stopped. Her finger placed itself on a slight eminence situated right in front of where she began to rub, at first lightly and slowly, then with a kind of fury. At last she seemed to experience the pleasurable sensations of the minute before.
I had seen enough-I understood and was not long in vanishing-a winding alley conducted me to the Chateau where, my brain on fire, my bosom palpitating and with a staggering gait, I re-entered my chamber with the firm intention of enjoying on my own accounts, the last act of the pantomime that I had witnessed.
That wherein no partner was required.
Like one demented, I flung my hat on the floor, then shut and doublelocked the door, threw myself on the bed, flung my clothes up to the waist and struggled to use my hand in the way that I had seen Helene use hers to gain satisfaction.
Several attempts proved ineffectual but at last, with Nature helping me, the sensitive point revealed itself and the remainder became easy, for my observation had been through.
A delicious sensation seized me, I continued furiously and speedily, and the ecstasy experienced became such that I actually lost consciousness. When I returned to myself I found that I was still in the same position, my hand was all wet with an unknown dew and it was not for a considerable time that I was able to completely recover my senses.
Breakfast time was at hand, I made a hasty toilette and went down stairs.
My aunt, stretched out in an easy chair, was chatting with my grandmother, beautiful and fresh and unflushed, as though she had just arisen from an excellent night's rest.
I had need to assure myself that I had not dreamt it all and that Helene had, like all virtuous folk seen the sun rise in her own private bedroom, rather than as I knew, elsewhere.
As for myself, I felt that I looked ugly, my eyes were discoloured, my cheeks were flushed and even grandmother noticed my agitation. I assured her that I felt perfectly well and my aunt kissed me and we began to talk about different subjects. When M. de Vycabre entered the room all my self-possession had returned to me.
In the most natural manner he related to us how he had made an excursion to a neighbouring village, and we sat down to the table.
Without appearing to do so, I did not let a single gesture from my aunt or the Count escape me, but I was disappointed because not a sign or a look disclosed their plan to me.
During dessert, my aunt said carelessly to my grandmother, 'I was so thoughtless on leaving Paris, that I shall be obliged to send my maid to fetch me a lot of things.'
'Oh, Mon Dieu, who will take her place here with you?'
'Don't trouble yourself about that, I can attend to myself perfectly well during so short an absence.'
The day passed without incident, M. de Vycabre mounted his horse and took a long ride, while we sat by the side of the lake and did some needlework.
Some neighbours called on us and grandmother kept them to dinner and in the evenings we had some music. M. de Vycabre devoted himself to whist with Madame de Pauvanne and was perfectly reserved towards us.
I hastened to find myself alone, face to face with my thoughts.
Immediately eleven o'clock struck I went to bed, quickly dismissing my maid, not doubting but that tomorrow night a serious rendezvous would take place between M. de Vycabre and my aunt, so I ran over the means at my disposal of spying on the impassioned scenes which I was sure would be the consequence.
Knowing every nook and corner of the house, I began at once to draw up a plan of campaign, of which the small suite of apartments occupied by my aunt, became the centre of operations.
We both lodged in the middle story of the Chateau, but at the opposite extremities of the same corridor. All the rooms on this story opened on the same corridor. M. de Vycabre was also lodged on this floor but in an angular wing.
My aunt's suite consisted of a bedroom, drawing-room and a little room in which was fixed a bed for her waiting maid.
I recalled to mind a certain dressing-room occupying only a third of the length of the room, which had formerly led to an alcove but had afterwards been closed up by a strong partition wall.
A bull's eye window let in at the top of the alcove had been merely stopped up by a pierglass representing a pastoral scene, (in truth a bad enough oil painting). I equally well remembered a kind of black cabinet and my plan was complete. I went to sleep full of resolution and hope for the coming day.
Marcelle set off the next morning as arranged.
M. de Vycabre and my aunt were more than ever reserved, however I was able to catch what I wanted to know-the hour of the rendezvous.
After breakfast the Count leaned nonchalantly against the mantelpiece and, while admiring a handsome clock, a superb ballshaped article, he let his finger rest for a moment on the figures XI and VI-I easily translated this mute language, half past eleven and when my aunt replied with a slight motion of her eyes, I was certain.
We went to sit in the garden and M. de Vycabre who contrary to his custom had remained at home, started to read to us. I then escaped on some pretext and went up to the second floor.
There I drew a table to the door, placed a stool upon it and, without pity for the artist's work, cut a hole in the pastoral scene and proved to myself that I could occupy a front box to see what was going to take place in my aunt's room. Finally, satisfied with my invention, I returned to the others. Time seemed to me to drag its moments out to a mortal length.
At last half-past ten struck, my grandmother retired and we followed her example.
M. de Vycabre wished us good night and went to his room; my aunt stopped with me for a few minutes longer and then conducted me to my chamber where she left me after kissing me tenderly.
I was not slow in undressing that night, you may be sure; and my maid remarked that I must be in need of sleep to make such haste.
This was not altogether the motive which made me hasten the departure of my maid, for scarcely was she out of my room when I again put on my stockings and slippers and a dark-coloured wrapper and waited.
At about a quarter past eleven I glided towards my scaffolding; scrambled up to the top and installed myself as comfortably as I could, then gazed as though I was at a theatre.
I saw very distinctly the white and fresh-looking bed resembling an altar prepared for the sacrifice; a lamp on the table flooded it with vivid light.
Helene was in her dressing room where I heard her making ablutions of various kinds; for I heard the sound of a certain instrument which I was sure she was putting up herself.
Her operations concluded, I saw her come into the room clad only in a dressing gown; she went to the bed and turned down the clothes, arranged the pillows and, moved the lamp so that it more nearly faced it.
Divesting herself of her wrapper, she undid the fine cambric chemise that still concealed her form and stepped up to the mirror. She admired herself for a second, before letting the chemise drop with a gracious movement of her shoulders till it rested on her haunches and slipped to the floor. Then Helene, the pretty Helene, appeared completely naked to my dazzled eyes.
One couldn't dream of anything more beautiful,-her breasts were firm and high, round and luscious, tipped by two nipples of a vivid rose while the dimpled curve of her hips and buttocks was mouth-watering even to an admirer of her own sex.
The base of her stomach, white and polished as ivory, displayed her conspicuously luxurious ebony fleece, of which the length and density made a rare sight. The contrast between this black triangle and her lush white flesh gave Helene a particular stamp of lascivious strangeness.
The charming woman again drew on her chemise and replaced her dressing gown, tying the girdle negligently, then going to the door of her room left it slightly ajar.
A moment afterward, with a thousand precautions, M. de Vycabre entered and carefully locked the door behind him.
The Count, his bare feet in slippers, was attired in a summer morning gown, beneath which I could see he wore only his shirt.
Helene made him sit down on a sofa and perched herself on his knee and their mouths met in a long kiss, while they spoke of their marriage.
An obstacle, not yet surmounted, delayed the event but, according to the Count, matters would be speedily concluded.
'Dear angel,' he said, 'you will never sufficiently know how grateful I am to you for having had confidence in me and not making me wait for my possession of you. I adore you, my dear Helene and I shall always do so, always-do you hear?'
While he was saying this, the Count was opening the neck of my aunt's wrapper and began kissing her breasts with frenzy.
My aunt, her head thrown back, quivered under his caress and, a voluptuous shudder agitated her.
Rene, profiting by this movement, opened her wrapper still further but this time at the bottom and, raising her chemise, he played for a moment with her beautiful black fleece, which he seemed to delight in. It was the imitation of this activity had given me so much pleasure the day before.
Helene on her side, brought to light the beautiful member on which my eyes became fixed-it appeared to me to be even larger and longer than the last time. My aunt stretched apart her thighs, opening by this movement her little cleft, which did not seem to be longer than my little finger.
'How,' said I to myself, 'could it be possible for an instrument of these dimensions to penetrate entirely into so small a space?'
I came to the conclusion that the first time I had observed my aunt, she had doubtless not taken the huge machine actually inside her but placed it between her thighs; and that it was her rubbing it there that had made him so happy. My error was to be of short duration.
During my reflections the two lovers had continued giving each other the sweet caresses I have mentioned.
'Ah,' said Helene, 'my dear little husband, go on-ah, I am happy. How beautiful Mimi is-how I am going to enjoy it-it is coming-eh – oh-do it a little more, I am dying.'
A little moment of silence-Helene lay prostrate her body thrown backwards, her head hidden in her lover's shoulders, her thighs apart, she lay as though in a swoon, and M. de Vycabre contemplated her with delight.
'Come now,' said Helene, recovering and suddenly raising herself 'come and put it into me-I want to feel it entirely-come I am on fire-I burn; come Monsieur Mimi, come and sprinkle me with your good liquor.'
Helene untied her wrapper, threw it on the floor, as she did her chemise, then stretched herself on the bed; Rene did the same with his morning gown and, before placing himself on Helene, he raised his shirt clear up to his armpits. He was truly beautiful and his naked body brought to my mind both Hercules and Apollo. His nude torso straightened itself in all its splendour. His fiery instrument stood out boldly from a thick underwood which set if off. He then got upon the bed.
Helene had remained in the same position, with her legs a little apart and bent upwards. Rene was now able to look her all over. I waited to see her raise herself and turn her behind to her lover like the first time, for I believed that it could not be done otherwise. But to my great astonishment this proved not to be the case.
M. de Vycabre knelt over her. Helene raised her legs and placed them across his loins in such a manner that nothing could escape my view. So I distinctly saw Helene's hand seize his instrument and direct its head to the centre of her little gap, which seemed to partly open to receive it.
M. de Vycabre gave a vigorous thrust of the loins, Helene responded with a similar one, and at least half of his machine penetrated into that hungry little mouth, which stretched itself to swallow accommodate its prize. Several successive movement finished the introduction and I saw their two fleeces mingle greedily.
This time I knew what to believe. There was now nothing more than a union of movements, sighs, inarticulate words, quiverings as if they had become lunatics.
'Give it all to me,' said Helene. 'Ah, how good it is, move softly- we will enjoy a long time.'
'Dearest, move and raise your thighs a little more so that I can enter better, now do you feel it? Ah, what delight! I am dying!'
'Are you ready, my Rene-as for me-I-I-hurry yourself!'
'I am-there it is coming-it is rising-now-I come, I am doing it!
Oh, ah! I am coming!'
Both remained motionless for a moment, then Rene raised himself and I saw his dear instrument come out like the first time, red and tearstained.
Helene remained a long time without giving a sign of life then, raising herself, she covered Rene with kisses and passed for an instant into her dressing room.
I believed everything to be finished and thought of retiring, but a secret presentment made me remain.
Helene returned and lay down again, put her arms round her lover and a sweet conversation took place between them.
'My friend, how happy I have been! How much better it is when one is quite relaxed. How well you know how to give pleasure.'
'Dearest, there doesn't exist in the whole world a more perfect woman than yourself, and I want to eat you all up!' And, again lifting up Helene's chemise, Rene covered her lovely body with kisses. Arriving at the very centre of pleasure, he half opened it, bit it sweetly and kissed it passionately.
'Stop, my friend,' said Helene,' 'stop, you will fatigue yourself!'
'No, dearest, look-see, it again asks permission to come to its little companion.'
'Let us see, Monsieur Mimi-what! already returned to this fine state?
You are very beautiful and I love you. Come, I am weak, I spoil you, come and imprison yourself once more there, there, place yourself like that and don't budge!'
'What are you going to do?'
'You know, my friend, that I love a change! Stay on your back and I will be the one who is to do it.'
While saying this, my aunt straddled Rene, and taking M. Mimi in her hand, she buried it in her up to the hilt; then, regulating her movements, she squatted down on his body and remained there impaled by his enormous pivot. She incited Rene, brought kisses to him, showed him her adorable titties, while all the while making faces at him.
'I am playing your part,' she said, 'you are my little wife-see how well I do it.'
It was soon easy to see that the critical moment had arrived; the young woman lay over her lover, who received her in his arms, and pressed her onto him by holding her white buttocks with both hands.
The pleasure seized them again both together, then Helene disengaged herself softly and again lay by her lover's side.
It was late and I was overwhelmed with emotion and fatigue. The position I occupied was not comfortable but I did not wish to depart before discovering whether the amorous couple would make another rendezvous.
My patience was rewarded as I heard them fix the same hour for the next night.
I then regained my room and went to bed exhausted. Sleep came promptly to me, and I woke at seven o'clock the next morning, perfectly rested. Then I went over in my mind what I had heard and seen the night before.
At once my imagination became inflamed, my breast heaved and fire coursed through my veins. I lay on my back in the position my aunt had taken, then I raised my chemise the way M. de Vycabre had done.
I fondled my breasts, whose buds had scarcely formed, and felt them swell gently then, caressing my body, I arrived at the delicate part which fascinated me the most.
It seemed to me that a slight change had taken place there. I found the lips of this little retreat plumper, I felt the passage which-in my aunt's case-had swallowed up the enormous machine, and to my surprise I found only a little hole which my finger could not penetrate without pain. Then I moved my finger a little higher and an indescribable sensation invaded my whole being. I rubbed softly at first, then more quickly, then slackened, then hastened, all the while repeating my aunt's words: 'Ah, how good it is-I am going in, ah!' At last a nervous spasm seized me and I was transported on a flood of immense happiness and all the feelings remained with me, for I did not lose consciousness as I had the other time.
When I had quite recovered, I withdrew my moist hand, then got up and dressed myself, and went downstairs fresh and happy.
I will not relate the day's doings, which contained nothing of interest. I was careful, however, to be present at the evening rendezvous, and had arrived without accident at my observatory when Helene and her lover met again.
The preliminaries were similar to those of the night before, but instead of afterwards retiring to bed, Helene said: 'My friend, I have a caprice, let us do it like we did the other morning in the pavilion. We are so much more comfortable and it will be so much nicer!'
While saying this, she took off her peignoir, drew her chemise up from behind, placed her hands on a great cushion near the glazed wardrobe and fixed herself there. In this position her head and arms were lower than her buttocks which lifted up and defined by this ravishing pose, plainly presented a heavenly path to pleasure.
Rene, too, made his preparations. He took off his dressing gown and placed the lamp on the floor in such a way as to perfectly delicious tableau-which was also reflected in the mirrored wardrobe. Then he set himself to work.
'Ah, you see too much!' said my aunt.
'Could I see too much of so many beauties-look in the glass.'
'Ah, no, it is too much! Ah, oh, stop a little-oh, how beautiful you are thus.'
'My adored one, how lovely you are-what admirable hauncheswhat an adorable arse you have.'
'Ah, Rene, what a villainous word that is.'
'Don't be frightened, dearest, everything is permitted in love; these words, so out of place elsewhere, give piquancy to its sweet mysteries.
You will also say them and then you will understand their charm.'
All the time he was speaking, he continued his motions. Helene held still and spoke no word, but devoured the glass with her eyes. I was stupefied to hear her say a moment afterwards: 'You love it well then?'
'What?'
'Well, eh, my…'
'Your what?'
'Well, my… arse…'
'Oh, Helene, how bonny you are! Oh, yes, I love it. I adore your beautiful bottom, I adore it!' 'Well, caress it then; it is all yours- my bot-botbottom.'
In finishing these broken words she let herself go in complete enjoyment; Rene who had also arrived at the sovereign pleasure, clasped her tightly and almost swooned on her.
In this way they terminated the evening with this delicious caresses; they could not make another rendezvous, fearing the waiting maid's return from Paris, but agreed on certain signals. If the worst came to the worst, they could meet at the pavilion in the park.
I regained my room, Marcelle returned the next day and the nocturnal meetings could no longer be held. I applied myself to interpreting every signal which could be exchanged between the lovers, but was disappointed, as I could discover nothing.
Four days passed thus, I was in despair, continually directing my steps towards the pavilion, only to find it empty.
On the afternoon of the fourth day, having entered the pavilion to satisfy a slight need, I was surprised to see there a garden chair that had evidently been brought from the house. I rightly concluded that the next day would see some activity, so I was there in good time before the actors could take their places.
They came as before, one after the other, with the usual precautions, and carefully fastened themselves in. Helene at once seated herself in the chair and said:
'Truly, you did well to think of this article, for my position the other day was not comfortable. But what are you doing down on your knees?'
'You know very well that I must say good morning to my little companion.'
'Well, give it a kiss quickly and let us hurry-it is late. Seat yourself on the chair and I will get astride you.'
Instantly M. de Vycabre let down his trousers and seated himself on the chair; Helene lifted up her skirts, placed her legs astride her lover, then seized his instrument and slowly introduced it into her channel of love as she lowered her buttocks.
I was placed in the perfect spot to enjoy this spectacle from behind and consequently did not lose a single detail. Very soon the enormous tool completely disappeared inside Helene.
Now she raised her legs, placed her heels on the bars of the chair and began to sink down and rise alternately.
The sighs and familiar words of love came quickly as their spirits dissolved in mutual enjoyment.
I had promised myself that this time I would not simply remain a spectator.
So, at the very moment when Helene introduced M. Mimi, I commenced to caress myself, regulating my movements to theirs, slackening or hastening just as they did. In consequence my sighs arrived so exactly as to be mingled with theirs and were not noticed.
When all was finished, Helene raised herself and quitted her post. As she dismounted, I saw M. Mimi's head emerge from his retreat and with it a sufficiently large amount of liquor to make me wonder. It ran down her thighs to the ground-I was quite unable to account for it! The two lovers then adjusted their clothing.
M. de Vycabre communicated to Helene two letters he had received.
The principal obstacle to their marriage had been removed, so it was arranged that in three days M. de Vycabre should make his official request for her hand. Then they agreed to meet in the pavilion two days hence.
I returned to the Chateau very sad; at the prospect of returning to the dull calm of my former life. Happily, the thought that I might soon be married myself sustained my courage, and I certainly promised myself sundry tastes of the illicit pleasures to which I had been a witness.
The next morning but one, I was in my hiding place. M. de Vycabre arrived first, Helene came in a moment later, and I noticed a slight cloud on her beautiful forehead; however, she threw herself into her lover's arms. After some caresses he started to put his hand up under her petticoats, but she stopped him, saying: 'No, my friend, it is impossible today, I am very much grieved, I assure you, but you know-an obstacle-let us wait until they return.'
'Ah, how unhappy I am!'
'And I also.'
'Here, look, how he is longing for it!' And M. de Vycabre drew out of his trousers his resplendent instrument and Helene took it into her hand, saying: 'No, not without me.'
'But I pray you.'
'All right-if you really wish it. One ought not to be selfish; I assure you, it pains me to see such a good thing lost. Come, Monsieur Mimi, but do not accustom yourself to doing it without your companion.'
While speaking, Helene had tucked up the sleeves of her wrapper; M. de Vycabre had dropped his trousers round his feet and raised his shirt out of her way.
'No,' said Helene, 'take off your trousers altogether. Since there is nothing else for me, I want to enjoy all I can with my eyes.'
Rene did as she requested and abandoned himself to her.
She then placed herself just behind him, put her left arm round his loins, grasped his upstanding limb in her right hand and began to agitate it with a sweet movement of her wrist, alternately covering and uncovering Mimi's head. This activity seemed to procure M. de Vycabre an unheard of degree of pleasure.
'Ah, how well you do it,' said he, 'ah, my angel! Go gently, uncover it well-a little more quickly-now stop, go on again, oh, ah-it is coming,-more quickly yet-I am coming!-I die!'
He gave one or two thrusts of the loins. Helene, who was carefully following his indications, grasped his instrument more tightly in her hand and, to my great astonishment, I saw gush out in jerks of three feet at least, a jet of something white, the emission of which seemed to cause M. de Vycabre delirious happiness.
At the end of several minutes, Helene herself wiped the instrument with her embroidered handkerchief, putting it back in its place and saying: 'You are a wretch, you have enjoyed yourself without me and I am longing for you!'
I let them both retire, and when they were far enough away, I entered the pavilion and closely examined the fresh traces of the ejaculation I had so recently observed.
This sight inflamed my imagination, I threw up my clothes and, getting astride, I placed my hand on the chair, my finger upraised and lowered myself onto it. I found my little opening and, imitating Helene's movements, I began stretching myself to the utmost, raising and lowering my behind. I imagined myself as receiving epic proportions of the real instrument.
A sharp pain did not stop me and I redoubled my efforts till nearly half of my finger entered my grotto.
I then repeated Helene's words: 'I melt! I am doing it! My arse!'… a spasm seized me and I writhed with pleasure.
My hand and the chair both showed marks of my enjoyment and I hastened to erase them before I returned to the Chateau.
During the day, M. de Vycabre had a conference with my grandmother and formally demanded my aunt's hand; they arranged the details and he set off for Paris to rush though the preliminaries.
It was decided that Helene should still remain with us for some days. I was to attend the marriage as her bridesmaid, so she took me away with her.
The wedding was celebrated with great style and for the first time in my life I attended a grand ball, at which, I can say without vanity, I was a veritable success.
I should have dearly loved to witness the bedding of the newly married couple, but unhappily my observatory was not in that house, and I had to resign myself to a solitary association in their pleasures.
Three days later, M. de Vycabre brought me back to my grandmother and set off with his wife to Italy.
After the departure of the newly married couple, I fell back into the monotony of my former existence with my senses wakened and the knowledge of some pleasures that my ardent nature rendered necessary to me.
To me M. de Vycabre had become the beau ideal of a husband.
The pavilion in the park retain some strong memories for me, and I often visited it. I had left the chair there and it served as the throne for my solitary pleasures.
These means of solace were not only necessary but at times indispensable, for I was often taken with veritable amorous furies, my eyes clouded, my ears rang, my legs faltered under me, and just by closing my thighs one against the other, I agitated that charming spot which makes us women become moist.
In those moments no resistance was possible, I could not help myself.
My finger became a past master and, after I had thoroughly pleasured myself, I felt a calm and delicious freshness circulate through me and I am convinced that without this, I should have had some serious illness.
Happily, I did not abuse this practice and my health was but the better for it.
I thus reached my eighteenth year. Though I say it myself I had become truly beautiful.
I was above middle-height, my hair abundant and of a lovely dark chestnut colour, my eyes brown, very sparkling and provided with long lashes. My mouth was a little large and extremely sensual but was set off with pretty teeth; a black beauty spot on the right side of my upper lip added to my charms. I had admirable shoulders, breasts full, firm and well placed, a figure supple and slender and buttocks voluminous but well proportioned. My mound of Venus was finely shaped and without having the rare fleece of my aunt, I was well provided in this matter. By a singular peculiarity, this pretty fur was silky and very short.
How many times, dear Lucien, have you placed me in a manner to enjoy this view! What caresses! What kisses! But we must not anticipate. Let us add, to finish this portrait that I had firm hands and very elegant feet. All this made of me a morsel fit for a king.
My grandmother at this time felt that her end was near and she was concerned for my future so, without letting me know, she sought a husband for me.
One day an old friend of hers visited and made a proposal to her which seemed to crown her hopes and dearest desires.
Here it is.
M. de Cornylle was presented to us. He was twenty-eight years of age, had much distinction of manners, a handsome shape, and a well-made figure.
His family was of the old aristocracy and his large fortune made him an excellent match. He had not as manly an air as M. de Vycabre, but such as he was, he greatly pleased me and I gave him my heart from the very first day.
As for him, immediately he perceived me he was bewitched. We were both of one mind; accordingly two months later we were married.
We were to due to pass some time at my grandmother's and afterwards go to Paris, where my husband had an employment.
Helene and her husband came to assist me at my marriage.
She was, as always, pretty and happy; I gave her my little confidences and told her that I was disposed to love my husband with all my heart, and that but one thing chagrined me and that was that I found him a little cold and reserved, although always affectionate and gallant.
Helene began to laugh and assured me that all this would be speedily changed.
The great day arrived-Madame Vycabre took the place of another and attired me herself.
As the evening arrived I was consumed with desire-and also with inexpressible fear; the act I was about to accomplish, although well known to me in theory, gave me terrible apprehension.
At last, the evening ended and Helene carried me off to the nuptial chamber!
It was her own! It was on this bed that I had seen her so well feasted, that I was become a fully fledged woman.
Helene put me to bed and, seating herself close to me, proceeded to instruct me in matters of which she thought I would be profoundly ignorant. With sensitivity and tact, she explained the whole matter to me very clearly. Then she kissed me, recommended that I comply with all my husband's desires, wished me courage and withdrew.
An instant afterward M. de Cornylle entered, clad in a dressing gown.
He came to the bed, kissed me with ardour, said some very affectionate things to me, took off his garment and came into bed.
Charles, for that was his name, pressed me in his arms; the contact of his nude limbs against mine made me thrill. He kissed me sweetly, at the same time telling me not to be afraid, and drew still closer to me. I was now trembling all over-I dared not speak and yet I desired-he whispered to me: 'Would you like to have a little baby?' And at the same time his right knee insinuated itself between my thighs and separated them. I resisted at first, then yielded a little, then further. Speedily Charles drew closer. I now felt the point of the object I so much desired.
The first contact had on me the effect of gunpowder; all the heat of my temperament rushed to the spot about to be attacked and I almost came! But Charles aimed badly, either too high or too low-I was breathless, on fire, yet I dared not guide his movements!
At last I felt him at the right spot, at the entrance. He thrust vigorously, a keen pain seized me, I gave a start and drew back.
Disconcerted, Charles asked my pardon and implored me to have a little courage. He resumed his place. I no longer budged, and taking a little more advantageous position, I determined to suffer anything to finish it more quickly.
It seemed to me that Charles did not manage with much virility and I felt that there was a great difference in the size of the instrument that was now perforating me and that of M. de Vycabre. Moreover, he did not speak to me, did not say any of those things overheard by me, and which I believed could not be separated from the operation we were performing.
At last Charles seemed to gather a little more strength and gave a solid thrust-I imitated him, at the same time stiffening myself. The pain caused me to cry out, but I had the satisfaction of feeling myself penetrated, for his entire instrument was now in me.
For a moment my husband continued his movement back and forth, then he quivered, uttered several sighs and remaining motionless. I now felt the warm liquor flood me and diminish a little the roasting pain that was devouring me.
Charles withdrew and stretched himself at my side, visibly fatigued.
While as for me, despite my desires and imagination I had not experienced any pleasure. I was not astonished at this as Helene had already warned me that it would be so.
Charles kissed me and then wished me good night, turned his back on me and promptly went to sleep.
I remained very much astonished and embarrassed. I was willing to recommence and, in spite of my pain, I was quite ready to do so. At last I made up my mind it was no use in waiting so I went to sleep in my turn.
I awoke late the next morning; much to my surprise, I was alone.
Suddenly Charles came out of the dressing room and approached me.
He was already dressed. He kissed me on the forehead, said some affectionate words to me, enquired whether I had slept well, but all was cold.
My heart, ready to fly towards him, stood still; it seemed to me that he should have stayed with me till I woke in order to press me in his arms, to speak to me of love and happiness-in short to recommence his caresses of the evening before.
I felt that I should have responded to his transports and that no apprehension of pain would have restrained me from receiving him. In short, a doubt as to my future tightened in my breast. This was not what I had dreamt of.
Charles quitted the room saying that he would leave me to dress myself. I did not even think of doing so and buried myself in sad reflections. A loving voice called me and Helene ran in to kiss me.
I flung my arms around her neck, embraced her and burst into tears.
'What is it then? Bon Dieu! dear child!' she said to me.
In truth I should have been much embarrassed to reply; it would have been impossible for me to articulate my grief. This was not my dream of love and I felt that the ardent fire that burned within me would not find the release it so urgently sought.
Helene thought that I was simply experiencing a nervous moment and she exerted herself to calm me by joking with me, soon the natural gaiety of my character came to the surface, I arose and plunged into the bath that my maid had drawn for me.
The day passed pleasantly; everybody around me was happy and my husband seemed to be enchanted. He was gallant and as tender as his nature allowed him to be, this put me at my ease and I returned his caresses less timidly.
The night came and he carried me off to bed early, less constrained himself than the night before. He pressed me in his arms and told me that he loved me and kissed me very tenderly. I ventured to say to him that I also loved him and I gave him a kiss that electrified him, for I felt something hard pressing against my thigh that seemed to promise me some satisfaction.
As on the evening before, he bent to my ear and whispered: 'Do you want us to repeat what we did last night?
I did not reply but could not prevent myself from opening my thighs and furtively drawing up my chemise. He placed himself on me. I put my arms around his neck, waiting for the moment impatiently.
I speedily felt the head of his instrument and I profited by his agitation to introduce it as far as possible in me. A lively enough pain was still produced but I did not stop there, pleasure and the fire that raced through my veins made me forget the discomfort. I already felt the forerunners of enjoyment and I put a check on myself in order not to speak-to say what I really felt.
I now understood perfectly the words of my aunt, but the silence of Charles, who seemed concentrated entirely on himself, prevented my giving vent to my feelings.
Charles continued his movements and kissed me, but he did not seem to be transported out of himself as I could have wished.
However I was now very happy, it seemed to me that I was melting away. I could not prevent myself from giving a thrust of the loins and uttering an exclamation. Now I remained motionless-I enjoyed even losing consciousness-Charles stopped, seemingly astonished at my transports; I restrained myself and he went on again.
What more shall I say? He was a long time with this sweet business, and I shed the sweet celestial dew four times! At last I felt him tremble, and sigh and a jet of flame inundated me inside.
We both lay still. I was exalted and ready to begin again; he was broken and, desiring only slumber, slept!