It was roughly four months after I'd had my "talk" with Donna (and all three of them had come down to see me together); it was a Saturday evening, and Karen had readily accepted my invitation for her to spend it with me. When we'd gotten downstairs, she'd closed the door most of the way, as they'd gotten in the habit of doing. It wasn't the "Do Not Disturb" sign of the door being closed all the way, or the "Visitors Welcome" of a wide-open door; but more of a "Disturb Only If It's Good Enough To Happen To you" warning. The couple of times that whoever I was with and I had been interrupted, it had been for good reason… once, one of them had fallen and possibly sprained an ankle. The other time, it was because someone was at the front door and wouldn't go away; it turned out to be somebody from a religious group that was subjected to my rude, vehement, and profane encouragement to depart the premises — which they did, in considerable haste.
Karen was on my lap as I sat in my recliner; both of us were nude per her (usual) request, and I had my arms around her waist as the two of us watched TV. During commercials, I'd release my hold on her in favor of moving my hands up and caressing her breasts while the two of us exchanged soft, loving kisses. Between the fondling of her mammaries and the way she'd wiggle her little butt in my lap, I was semi-erect almost constantly — something that pleased her tremendously.
When the late news came on, she exercised her prerogative of using the remote to turn the TV off, knowing that I never bothered watching the late news. After I'd molested her a little more, and we'd shared a few kisses, we were just contentedly sitting there when she asked me "Would you do something for me, Uncle Ted?"
"If I can. What is it?"
"Would you be the one to make me not a virgin any more?"
Needless to say, the question wasn't something I'd expected to hear. It took me a few seconds to get my thoughts settled enough to ask "You know what you're asking me to do?"
"I'm asking you to have sex with me for the first time. And yes, I know that means you putting your penis inside me!"
With a few gentle nudges, I got her to sit up and turn around to face me. Putting my arms around her slender waist, I looked into her face and asked "Do you really think you want something like that, and that you're ready for it? Or are you asking for some other reason?"
From the expression on her face, I could tell that she knew I needed not just the immediate answers to my questions, but explanations, too.
She was as serious and sincere as I'd ever seen her when she answered "Yeah, I do want that to happen. I've been thinking about it almost since I was with you and Donna that time. After what you did with me and her… and then when we talked that night, the first time I stayed with you…
I knew that sex was something serious — but that it could be fun, and feel good, too. After I told you it was okay, you've been doing what I wanted — touching me first, I mean, and being the one that starts when we do things together. And when I've wanted to come down here and talk to you, or just BE here with you, it's always been okay. After we slept together that first time, and I used my mouth on you in the shower, you didn't treat me any different; you weren't any nicer to me than you've always been, but you weren't afraid to touch me and kiss me and everything, either. When I'm with you like this, just the two of us, I know that it's okay for us to be together
— that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, or make me feel bad, and I like that. You do so much for me… and Donna, and Wendy, and Mom… and you never, ever ask us for anything, or say anything to remind us about the things you do. I know I'm kinda young, but I got a chance to look up a bunch of things on the Internet one time, when I was over at Christina's house, and it's not that much. What I found out was that most girls are between fifteen and sixteen when they lose their virginity — but that my age isn't like, weird, or anything. And I've really, truly tried to find out as much as I can about it; stuff like how girls felt afterwards, and what they thought about it, and how it happened for them, and what they wished they'd done different, and things like that. I've really thought about it, too — I know that I can't go back and change it afterwards, and that it really is something special, and that I should be really, really sure first.
Honest, Uncle Ted, I have thought about it, and I really am sure that I'm ready for it, and I really do want it to be with you. I know you might be thinking that I want to do this just so I'm 'first' to do something, but that's not it… really. And I don't want to be with you like that because of anything you've done — not that way, anyway; I mean, I'm not wanting to have sex with you just because we've been kissing and touching and everything, and all I want is just to do more sex stuff with you. You're somebody really, really special to me — I love you, as much as I do Mom, and even more than I did Daddy, when he was here. I know that you love me, too, the same way; and that's why I want us to be together like that — because we love each other as much as we do. I know we can't get married, or anything; and that if we're together like that, you still aren't going to treat me any different than you do Wendy or Donna… and I know that's the way it should be, because I know I'm still not that grown up that I don't need you and Mom watching out for me. But I think I'm old enough, and grown up enough, for this because it isn't me trying to be grown up and everything like you and Mom; it's you and me loving each other as much as we do, and being able to show it to each other. I don't even want us to stay together, you know, me living down here, or sleeping with you, all the time, either. Like I said, I just want us to be able to share how much we love each other sometimes. I know I'm going all over the place, telling you why I think it's okay, and I hope you don't think that means I'm not ready, or that I'm not sure, and tell me 'no' because of it."
It had taken her a good ten minutes to tell me all that; she'd spoken clearly and slowly, trying to make sure I understood what she was saying, and all that she'd done and thought before she brought it up with me. Yes, she had bounced around a bit as she was talking — but since she was doing it from the heart, and not a script or printed notes, I was willing to dismiss the style in favor of paying attention to the content and substance of what she'd had to say.
As I looked at her, I saw that she was a bit nervous, but unafraid — and absolutely certain of what she wanted.
Looking into her eyes, I told her "Okay, you've told me what you want, and why, and all that. But you've had plenty of time to get ready for this, and I'm just hearing about it now. I'm not going to make you wait too long, but I need a little bit of time so that I can think about what you said, okay?"
Dry-eyed and solemn, she nodded her head; and after I'd released my soft hold around her, she quietly got off my lap and took a seat on my couch. I thought it noteworthy that she didn't assume the right to wait on my bed, but didn't give up and go upstairs, either — there was something she wanted me to do, and she was apparently ready to wait for it to happen.
With nothing to distract me, I sat there and considered what she'd said — not just the words, but what they told me about her; and how she'd tried to get across to me what she'd thought and done and felt before she made her request. I also had to think about what MY involvement was leading up to that point — whether I'd done anything to encourage her, or cause her to think that I wanted us to be that intimate with each other. Finally, I had to try and figure out what would (or might) happen afterwards, for either choice I made. It wasn't a fast or easy process, and required a lot of serious thought (and no small amount of soul-searching) on my part before I finally had an answer to give her.
When I looked at the clock, I realized that I'd been sitting there for nearly an hour; turning to look at where Karen was waiting, I saw that she was ready to sit there until she got an answer.
When I cleared my throat, she saw that I was looking at her, and realized that I was ready to tell her what I'd decided. She got up, then came over to resume her previous position on my lap.
When she was settled, I put my arms around her waist again. She was looking at me steadily as I told her "You know that what you want is something serious — very serious. And I'm sure you understand why I thought it was important enough that I had to think about it for this long. There are several things that make me think that us having sex wouldn't be a good idea — how young you are, the fact that I am your uncle, and several more. But there also things that make me think that it could be okay, too. Things like the fact that we do love each other so much; and that you worked so hard to try and make sure of what you wanted, and what would happen, and all of that. I had to try and think about what could happen if we started having sex — not just the things between us, but what might happen to you, and even how it could affect your sisters and your Mom. Then I had to try and see if I did anything that maybe caused you think this was something we could or should do, and what I thought about us having sex — and what might happen to me. As much as I could, I had to try to see if I could figure out what good and bad there would probably be, and could be, and might be — not just for you and me, but for your Mom, and Donna, and Wendy, because whatever happens with us is going to affect them, too. I think you can see that there were a lot of things that I had to look at, and think about, and try to decide whether they were big and important, or not — and if they were, how much. I told you that I would never lie to you, and I'm not going to lie to you about this, either. There was a lot of stuff that made me think that us having sex wouldn't be good, just like there was a lot of things that made me think it could be okay, too. Honestly, I'm still not sure that what I decided is the right one, and I'm afraid that it's going to do things that make you end up hating me for it. But what I finally decided was that if you're sure enough to ask if you can give your virginity to me, then the best thing I can do is try to make it as easy and good for you as I can."
As I'd been talking, I could see that Karen was trying to prepare herself for what she thought would be a negative answer — so when I agreed to what she'd asked, it took her a second to understand that she'd gotten the answer she wanted. Still, she didn't get ecstatically happy, or start acting like a kid in a toy store; if anything, she seemed to get even more sober about it -
which actually helped settle my concerns a bit, since it let me know that she really comprehended the significance of the matter.
We were looking at each other when I asked her "You asked me about this tonight, but it doesn't have to happen tonight, unless you want it to. If there's anything you want to do first, or you need to wait, or anything else, that's fine. This will be easiest for you if it happens when you want and HOW you want. There are some things that I can do — and will do! — to help; but the most important part is that you're comfortable with it. I know you know that sex is how babies are made, and I don't think either one of us wants that to happen, so I need to know what we're going to do about it."
She managed to give me a small smile before she answered "That was one of the first things I checked on, Uncle Ted. Because my periods still aren't regular like Donna's, they say it wouldn't be good for me to use anything like chemical birth control, yet. It might be possible for me to get an IUD, but that's usually not something they can do while the girl is still a virgin. I talked to Mom about it, and she said that whenever I was ready, she'd make an appointment for me to get one. I… I decided that when… when we have sex the first time, I don't want either of us to have to do anything special, so I checked and made sure that if it happens right before I start my period, there isn't any egg for your sperm to make a baby with. So if… if we did it tonight or tomorrow, that would be good, because my next period won't start until Tuesday — you can't make me pregnant today or tomorrow, or even Monday; but I think waiting until then would be too close."
I wasn't surprised that she'd thought to check on what her options were; she was the smartest of the three of them, and consistently brought home the best grades — something that didn't always please her sisters.
The next thing I asked her was "You know that we can make love in different ways?"
"You mean positions? Yeah, I know, I've seen diagrams of them."
"Did any of places or things that you used to learn about girls losing their virginity say anything about what was easiest for them?"
She nodded before answering "Yeah, they said the easiest one is if the girl is on top so she can be in charge of how fast it happens. But I'm not sure that I could actually do it myself like that -
hurt myself on purpose that way, I mean. I know that there's no way of really knowing if it'll hurt before it actually happens, and I think I'd be too scared that it would hurt to be able to do it myself. I was hoping that it would be okay with you if you were on top of me the first time — if it's going to hurt, then I know you'll make it as little as you can, and that you won't chicken out like I might; and besides, I'd like it if we could look at each other, and kiss, and stuff."
Myself, I was all in favor of the first option, her being on top of me, so that she WAS in control, and I could be sure that she wasn't hurt. But if she was afraid that she wouldn't actually be able to make it happen when the time came, then her request that I take care of getting through her hymen was something that I was just going to have to do, regardless of how I felt about it.
The last thing I had to make sure of was to ask her "Karen, I know you'll understand why I have to ask this… are you sure that your mom will be okay with this? That there isn't going to be any trouble, afterwards?"
She smiled at me again, then answered "I'm sure, Uncle Ted. When I talked to her about an IUD, she asked me if I thought I was going to need one. I told her I thought I was, and she asked me to make sure first; then she said that I had to decide for myself when I was ready, and that she loved me, no matter what. Then she told me that I didn't have to be afraid, that she knew the guy would do everything I needed to make it easy, and nice. Neither one of us said your name, but I knew she knew that I wanted it to be you. I kinda think she was even happy for me."
Well, Teresa had said that she trusted me completely, and what Karen just told me simply confirmed that fact. Still, I felt a little relief at hearing that Teresa had been okay with the imminent deflowering of her fourteen-year-old daughter.
Karen's answer to my question left me with nothing else to do other than gently pull her close enough to hold her against my chest, and softly tell her "Sweetheart, if you want to give yourself to me like that, I'll do the very best I can to worthy of the honor you're giving me. I'm sure you believe it, but I'm going to say it anyway — I'm going to go as slow and easy as you need. You don't have to worry about however long it takes, or maybe getting nervous or even afraid; I love you, and the most important thing to me about this is that when we're done, you're happy. I'll wait whenever you want me to, and until you tell me it's okay again. If you want me to stop doing something, I will, the second you say so. If you change your mind, or decide you don't want this to happen with me — now, or ever — then that's okay with me. And it's okay with me because I love you, and if I didn't do those things, then I know it would hurt you… and that's the last thing I'd ever want to happen. Okay?"
"I know you wouldn't rush me, or anything, Uncle Ted; and I know you'd stop if I asked, or wait for me if I needed you to. I'm a little nervous, now, because I don't know how it's going to go — but I'm not even a little bit afraid of what's going to happen. I love you, and I know you love me to, just as much, and the same way; that's what makes me want you to be the one that makes me not a virgin any more, and to be with you while I learn about the rest of this sex stuff -
because I know you'll be patient with me, and not say or do things to hurt me, and all that. But it's still nice to hear you say it."
I held her like that for a couple more minutes before she softly asked "Uncle Ted? Can we go now? And… you know…"
"Whenever you want, honey.", I answered. With a soft pressure of her hand against my chest, she let me know that then was when she wanted; I released my hold on her, and she calmly got off my lap and stood next to the chair. When I was standing, too, she took me by the hand and led the way to the bed. Under her command, I helped pull the bed covers down before we got on the bed and situated next to each other. She was laying on her side next to me, with her arm and leg draped across me while I had my arm around her.
Her head was resting on my shoulder when I told her "We can make this happen however you want it to, Karen. If there's something that you want to happen in a certain way, then that's what we'll do. If you just want to tell me when you're ready for me to do something, that's fine, too.
You told me that it was okay for me to start doing things with you first, and if it would make you happy for me to be in charge unless you say different, I'll be glad to do that for you. It doesn't have to be the same the whole time, either; we change things around however you want, whenever you want — you're the boss, here."
"You always know how to make me feel good, Uncle Ted, so it's okay if you're the one in charge… I'd kinda like that, even. I'd like it if we could start by, you know, kissing and stuff."
I could feel that she was somewhat tense, and decided to take things extra slow at first, so she'd know that she didn't have to be nervous or afraid. Slowly, over the next few minutes, I began trying to get her to relax. I started by simply kissing the top of her head, then doing it again a little later. A gentle hug, then another kiss. Slowly and gently, I began caressing her side, careful not to tickle her; small touches that started out at just her waist gradually expanded to include the entire side of her body — even when I kissed the top of her head a couple more times along the way.
I continued my patient efforts until I could tell that nearly all the tension had left her, then gently got her rolled onto her back so that I could move to MY side and prop myself up on my elbow.
Looking down at her, I could see that she'd gotten a little bit tense again — which I'd expected.
Putting my hand on her belly, I tenderly caressed her from navel on up, but deliberately avoiding her breasts. As I did, I lowered my head and gave her lips a number of soft, chaste kisses to try and let her know just how much I loved her. The first few times our lips touched, she was simply too nervous to respond; but as I continued, she began to relax again as she slowly began to accept that I was fine with taking however much time she needed or wanted. Once she started to kiss me back, it didn't take long for her to lose the nervousness that had been there right after we'd moved. By the time I began to let my fingers start making brief contact with the outer edges of her breasts, she was as relaxed as I could hope for.
My fingers and hands slowly making more and more contact with the firm mounds of her breasts was something that was familiar enough to her that she was able to enjoy the increasing contact; that I was still exchanging soft kisses with her helped, as well. With my hand cupping her breast as I ran my thumb across her nipple, our kisses grew longer, and more involved; I'd gotten both of her nipples nicely extended when our tongues finally touched — something that was still somewhat new to her, since we'd only done it a couple of times before then. Under my hand, I could feel her start to respond to the additional excitement she was feeling because of how our tongues were playing "tag" back and forth between our mouths.
As Karen's arousal slowly began to grow, I transferred my attentions from her breasts to her belly again; and then, gradually, even farther. While I was expanding the range of my touch, I began making the transition from just kissing her lips, to including her face — then her throat, and neck, and shoulders, before blazing a wandering trail that ended with my lips at the peak of one of her breasts. I deliberately sucked on it a little bit harder than I usually did, to distract her from the fact that my hand had reached her pelvis. Doing my best to keep her attention on what I was doing at her breast, I reached a little farther so I could begin caressing her smooth thighs -