The real-estate broker looked up from his list. "I guess that's all the properties I have available in your price range just now, ladies."
Dex nodded. "Thank you for your trouble."
She walked out of the office and back to the rented car where Gena sat waiting. They had been looking at cabins and houses and plots of land for almost a week. Yet nothing they saw had fitted their dreams. Gena had grown gradually more irritable with each passing disappointment. She no longer wanted to go trekking through the countryside and stayed behind in the car while Dex continued with the pioneering.
Dex climbed in behind the wheel. "No dice," she said glumly.
"Uh huh. I didn't think so." Gena picked absently at a cuticle. "And that's the last place, isn't it."
Dex tried to maintain her optimism as she threw the shift stick into reverse and backed out of the gravel drive.
"Well, it's a pretty big country. We'll find something."
Dex waited, but Gena voiced no objection. They had talked about earning a living. Whether or not to get work while they were looking for a place to live or wait until they were settled down. The subject had trickled on and off all during the week. Once Gena had mentioned the possibility of moving closer to a metropolis but Dex had vetoed the idea. Living in Albany was only one small step away from moving back to New York.
"I don't want to go back to that grimy hotel," Gena commented into the silence.
"Then we won't." Dex stared at the dirt roads as the car rattled into spring potholes. She could feel something heavy looming overhead, waiting to drop. "We'll do whatever you like, dear."
Gena twisted around and pressed her body against the car door. "Whatever I like? That's a laugh."
Dex swallowed her anger. "For someone who's supposed to be interested in this project, you're not much of a help."
"I can't help," Gena answered without looking at Dex. "I don't know these back woods of yours. This isn't my territory. You're the Indian, Dex. You find us what we have to have."
"You don't seem to like anything I find."
Gena grunted with contempt. "Just find something without ants swarming all over the place and I'll be fine."
But Dex knew that the problem lay much deeper than ants. After their first day together, Gena had set herself up to be dissatisfied. At one house it had been the ants. At another it had been that the windows were too small. As the trivial reasons became obstacles to definite action, Dex had forced herself to examine the truth.
"Look, Gena," she said now. "You don't want us to take on one of the houses. You don't want to go back to the hotel. Maybe we will go to Albany after all."
Gena cleared her throat. "I've changed my mind about that," she said. "It's going to be dismal there. I just know it."
Dex remained silent. Gena's answer came as no surprise. "There's no pleasing you. Not out here, anyway." She glanced into the rearview mirror and watched bits of the village come and go in the scrap of reflection. Summer was coming on, but Gena hadn't been impressed at the idea of swimming in the river. Walking in the hills tired her unaccustomed feet.
"Supposing we go back to New York," Dex said, with a scientific calm.
Gena looked up from her fingernails. "You don't really want to do that." Her voice lifted with hope.
"But I will."
"I guess that's what you really want, Dex," Gena replied with energy. "You can go back to your old job and earn a decent living again. We'll get an apartment. A big, airy place up high. I'll decorate it and keep things nice and clean for you. I'm very orderly, Dex. You'll like living with me."
Dex heard in Gena's tone the first true signs of life since they'd gotten off the train. She nosed the car south toward the highway, wanting, somehow, to drive all the way home. Be alone with Gena, unmolested. A last five or six hours. Let the dream come to its end gradually, like a ship docking in from Europe.
"It's been fun," Dex muttered. She stepped hard on the gas pedal, merging the car into highway traffic.
They stopped at Hot Shoppes along the way. Every so often, Gena asked if they could maybe find a motel off the road instead of going directly home. Dex said no. She could not bring herself to linger, not even for the purpose of making love. Rather, she preferred to drive the ear at high speed with the radio on. She listened to the different stations coming through until at last, she recognized a beam from New York City.
A pale wash of dusk rose from the horizon and the air began to smell pungent with fumes. The odor brought back memories. Dex realized that inside her a network of feelings were beginning to stir. Expectancy rose with images attached. The sensation of Gena beside her began to lose its poignancy. Dex wondered if the lock on the door had been changed, if she would be able to unlock when she got home.
Home. The word sounded strange to her. Her apartment with Ryan was still home.
Dex paid the last toll and entered the city traffic that lumbered across the bridge. She glanced down the Hudson at the skyline half-lost in haze and growing darkness. The string of lights along Riverside Drive burned through the mist. She circled onto the Drive and headed toward the city, changing lanes frequently but smoothly among the more laggard cars.
As they entered the streets, Gena sat up and began to watch the people.
"We're going to my place?" she said.
"Yes."
Dex added nothing beyond that. Maybe it wasn't playing fair not to clue Gena in, yet what was there to say? Gena might know better than to expect a continuation of their affair in that stuffy room that seemed to be choking on its oversized bed.
She backed into a parking space around the corner from Gena's house. Taking the crumpled mackinaw from the rear seat, Dex followed Gena to the building.
Gena's steps were rapid and strident with a certain unmistakable urgency. Dex smiled with the ghost of remembered satisfactions. They had done well in bed together. If nowhere else, they got along between the sheets.
Dex felt a warm impulse to take the girl's hand. She settled for touching the girl lightly on the shoulder as they came to the house.
Gena tilted her chin up. There was a playful little smile tugging at her lips which reminded Dex of the night Gena had first asked her to dance. Only the veneer of innocence was gone now. In its place, something deeper; something a little bit more sure of itself in the world.
They climbed the steps, slowing at each level and looking at each other.
Dex could not longer fool herself that Gena did not realize what was about to happen. Only Gena did not look helpless. She seemed rather peaceful, as though she recognized her part in the chain of events.
When they reached Gena's door, she felt beneath the mat and stood up with the key.
Was that how she was leaving forever? Dex asked herself. Or had Gena known the inevitability of her return.
The girl opened the door and turned to motion Dex inside.
"It's been a long trip," Dex said. "You try to get some sleep." She put her fingertips to the hair at her temples and smoothed back the few fallen wisps.
"What are you going to do?" Gena asked.
"The same."
The scent of Ryan's perfume hit her as she opened her apartment door. Ryan hadn't changed the lock. Everything seemed strangely as it had been.
Dex listened for Ryan. Someone was in the bedroom. She sighed wearily, prophesying a bitter fight between them.
Dex gritted her teeth and headed for the bed room.
"Ryan?" she called out in warning, letting Ryan know she was back. There was no answer.
Dex entered the bedroom. Ryan was sitting in front of the dressing table mirror, applying makeup. She wheeled around suddenly as Dex entered.
"Welcome home, Dex," said Ryan simply. Her eyes examined Dex from head to toe. She felt calm. Something had told her Dex would be back, and there she was.
"Aren't you…" muttered Dex, not knowing quite what to say.
"I'm not surprised. I'm not mad. I'm happy you're home, Dex. It's as simple as that."
"Christ, have you changed," Dex let out in one breath, then kicked herself mentally for saying anything so wrong.
"Yes, I have," replied Ryan, getting up and moving toward Dex. "And you're beautiful." She reached out her hand and rested it on Dex's shoulder. "No change there," added Ryan.
Dex felt her head reel. Ryan's welcome hit her like an explosion. The impact was so powerful it was beyond pleasure or pain. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Her body answered for her. Tears welled up in her eyes as she reached for Ryan.
Suddenly they were clutching each other close together, running their hands up each other's back, then their lips met.
"Darling," murmured Dex as she slipped her tongue gently between Ryan's velvety lips.
Tenderness gave way to passion. Without knowing how, they both found themselves on the bed, pulling clothes off each other, kissing nipples, breasts, arms, thighs.
At last they found the position. Laying on their sides they pressed their hot mouths onto each other's cunts, licking, loving the folds of flesh, sipping each other's juices. Their breath grew rich and heavy as they panted closer to the peak, eating and tonguing deep inside each other.
It was fast and violent. A need to devour, to make themselves one again, took hold. They moaned in unison as their tongues lashed their cunts to climax. A shudder rushed through both of them from head to toe as they came simultaneously, bucking and sweating like two sleek cats in mortal combat.
Rolling away exhausted, Dex said, "It's better than ever."
"That's cause we're equal," said Ryan, reaching over to fold her hand into Dex's.
"I guess we are," sighed Dex. "I wish we could have found an easier way."