As Dex heard herself speaking, it was as if a whole new world of horrors was opening to suck her in. Did she want Gena so much, so completely that she could settle for the position of second in line after Morton?
"Don't leave me," Gena's voice reached out as Dex began to edge toward the door. "Don't let me face Morton all by myself. You can't let me down now, Dex. You said you loved me."
Dex saw the sudden wretchedness bubbling up from deep inside the girl. All the surface playfulness had dissolved. Gena stood naked within the bitter anxiety of her own young, helpless state. She was no match for Morton and she knew it. Only, now, she was finally letting Dex in on her carefully guarded secret.
"But you were going to see her without me," Dex said. "And you were quite sure of yourself."
Gena flung herself against Dex's chest. "I have to trust someone," she sobbed, her words muffled but warm in the polo shirt. "And you're the only one I have. I believe in you, Dex. I need you to help me, can't you see that?"
Dex touched the soft crown of Gena's hair. The hair felt moist as a baby's. The scalp, hot and perspiring, pressed itself gratefully into Dex's hand.
"How can I help you?" Dex said softly. "If you think you love Morton, you'll have to go through that battleground all by yourself."
"Maybe I can forget her." Gena's voice was tight, the tone desperate. "Maybe you can take me away somewhere. We'll have a good time. I'll give you everything you want, that's a promise."
Dex smiled softly down at the girl and sighed. "Sounds beautiful, dear. But you know it can't work out. Wherever we go, it'll be the same thing. You'll kiss me and wish I were Morton."
Dex took the girl by both shoulders and moved her out to arm's length.
"If you let go of me," Gena said, "that might be the end of everything. Dex. I want to be good. I want to love someone decent and live a decent life together. Why won't you let me try? Why can't you take the chance?"
As Dex gazed into the wide, troubled eyes, she felt her own firm resolve begin to weaken. Maybe it was possible. Gena's idea could work if Gena really meant what she said. After all, the girl was nobody's fool. She didn't want to be stepped on and dragged through all the gutters of hell.
"I left Morton the first time, you know." She struggled to smile. "Maybe something inside knew that better days were coming."
"You left Morton? She didn't throw you out?"
"That's right."
Dex paused. All her instincts told her that Gena was twisting the truth around. But why should she? If she were Morton's slave, then she would be running off now instead of trying to save herself.
Dex let go of Gena's body and let her hands drop to her sides. Suddenly, she felt plunged down into the pit of a whirling vortex of indecision. There seemed no way to decide how to proceed.
"Well?" Gena said softly. "Are you going to stand there and let me walk out of your life just like that?"
Everything rose up in Dex to say: "Get the hell out".
"If you come with me," Dex said, the words stiff and measured, "we leave tonight. No good-byes to anyone. Nothing. Just drop all the old threads and go."
Gena's sudden, blossoming smile stifled the sound of Dex's impulsive daring. It blinded her to the knowledge of her own wishful dreaming. She knew only that this was her moment. No matter what happened afterward, at least now she was making the attempt. Giving all of herself and all of her energies to have Gena and keep her forever.
"I won't even pack a suitcase," Gena said. She caught Dex's hand in her own and squeezed it. "Let's go."
They were the very words Dex had wanted to hear from Ryan so many years ago. But she had never heard them until this moment. The nerves beneath her flesh made connections with each other, infusing her body with a new strength of force and will. It was a surge of power that Dex could believe. It felt good. It felt right. Her dream, coming true at last, was exactly the right size and shape, tailor-made to the size of reality.
Dex did not stop to ask herself the normal and logical questions. Survival would be hers. Theirs. Together.
"Only take a jacket," Dex said. "You'll need one where we're going."
Wordlessly, Gena obeyed. She took a heavy old mackinaw from the closet and draped it over one arm.
They left the apartment together, slamming the door and running down the steps without once looking back.
Dex found a cab parked at the corner. She pushed Gena in ahead of her and directed the driver to Grand Central Station. Beside her, she could feel Gena's warm glow of optimism. Glancing at the girl, she wondered where Gena got the control not to ask a million questions about where they were going and what they would find at the far end of their journey. Yet Gena did not seem to need control. She radiated contentment much more than expectation. What mattered most to her was that she was being plucked, miraculously, out of the jaws of Morton's flesh trap. And it was salvation that glowed, warming her back to life.
When they reached the station, Dex sat Gena down near the train gates, bought her a hot dog and an orange drink and went off to get the tickets. The big hall milled with people. An atmosphere of timelessness pervaded the high-vaulted room. Both light and air were artificial and continuous. The echoing announcements of arrivals and departures seemed to be emanating from a huge machine both timeless and deathless.
Dex stood for a few minutes on the short line that moved rapidly up to the teller. Tomorrow, when they had reached the town, she would wire her bank for money. The years of saving had been for something, after all, she realized. With the money in her fist, she could buy a good cabin on a couple of acres beside the lake. In time, they would expand the house. Until then, they would scrape along on whatever she could earn either working in town or free lance. Even out there in the sticks, there must be some companies who could benefit from her knowledge of advertising.
But all of that was tomorrow and the days after.
"We'll check into the local hotel," Dex said as they walked along the rickety platform.
The air smelled of grass and spring wildflowers. A noontime siren went off far in the distance. The sound curved across the bright sky airy with slow moving puffs of clouds. The train pulled out of the station and gathered speed, cutting through the hills. The two women paused to watch it disappear. Dex crossed her arms over the rumpled mackinaw that she held. Neither of them had slept during the five-hour ride. Now a sense of desolation born of fatigue surrounded them. Who could predict what the future held, here, without city or friends to lean on?
The local taxi drove them to a small place in town. Dex felt heartened as memories returned. She spoke a few words with the desk clerk who remembered her. He gave her a copy of the local newspaper and took them upstairs to a large room that overlooked the circular center of the village.
With a sigh, Gena flopped down onto the bed, stretching arms and legs wide.
Dex went to the window and drew the curtain aside. She looked down upon the few cars moving at an easy pace. Some men came out of the grain and feed store with sacks balanced on their shoulders. A spotted dog lay in front of the post office and two boys stood beside him in a strip of shade cast by the shadow of a flag. An atmosphere of peace without the threat of pressure contrasted severely with the gears in Dex's head.
"How are you doing?" she said to Gena without looking at her.
"My head aches. I need a toothbrush."
She reeled off a list of complaints, all trivial, in a cranky voice.
"I feel exactly the same way," Dex consoled her.
She dropped the paper onto the seat of a worn reading chair and came over to the edge of the bed.
Gena smiled up at her. She poked a finger at Dex's knee. "Do you suppose we ought to get some sleep?"
Dex nodded. Her brain felt spongy, her eyelids twinged with heaviness and burning. She sat down with her back toward Gena and bent over to take off her shoes.
Gena's fingertips went under the polo shirt. One nail traced a slow and lazy line up the ridges of Dex's back. Dex shuddered as the fingers spoke to her. She pulled off her socks and stretched out her toes, staring at them. Soon, she would take Gena down to the river and they would swim together, naked. Slowly, she started telling Gena about the river and how it was in summer, the clear water spilling across the rocks. People seemed to find their own private bends in the river so that one never had to worry much about intruders.
As she talked, she got the rest of her clothing off. When she turned to face Gena again, Dex was naked.
She watched Gena focusing on the center point of one breast. Under the girl's steady gaze she felt the nipple come alive, stiffen and stand out.
"I want to kiss you," Gena whispered. She slid her hand along Dex's arm and grasped her by the elbow.
Dex leaned over till her body covered Gena's mouth. She felt the tongue dart forward. Its cold wet tip touched her nipple. The sensation spiraled through her, shooting pleasure through her breast and down deep into the moistening recesses of her cunt. Dex felt the last remaining shreds of her strength give way.
Gena's hands went down to catch hold of her thighs. Her arms clung in a tightening circle as she pulled Dex's cunt to her mouth. Her small tongue licked over the swelling labia, searching for the clit in its hood of flesh. Dex caught her breath as Gena found the knob of flesh and sucked it between her lips. She felt her clit stiffen and a gushing feeling rush through her cunt. Gena licked her crack, sniffing the juice wetting down the rich folds of flesh. The girl's surprising strength lifted Dex and turned her. She came down touching Gena's body.
"No fair," Dex smiled. "You've got your clothes on."
"You can do something about that."
Dex balanced on one side and began to undo the rumpled clothing.
"I think we'll send these things out to the cleaner while we're asleep."
Gena laughed. "You think of the damnedest things at the damnedest times."
"You'll thank me later."
Dex rolled Gena under the sheet until she had given their things over to the errand boy who came to their door.
Then Dex closed and locked it. The tiredness that seeped through her created a dream world. She moved back toward the bed. Walking took on the sensation of swimming through a cool green world, translucent but far, far down away from sounds of human life.
She touched the edge of the sheet that was fitted tightly across Gena's breasts. Gena lifted her back to help, and the sheet came loose. Dex drew it down, revealing the young breasts with their pink, just-ripe centers. As she stared at them, Dex felt her mouth fill. She was like a shark grown hungry at the first sight and scent of delicious morsels.
"Why are you standing there?" Gena whispered.
"Am I?"
Dex wasn't quite sure what she was doing, standing or lying suspended at the ocean's bottom. Something inside her relaxed, and she dropped forward onto the bed. Into Gena's open and waiting embrace.
They were alone now. Far from all possible interference. For the first time they were being together, each without a past, each with only the other as a future.
Gena put the sheet around Dex and drew her close beneath the covers. Their body warmth met and mingled. Dex pressed her mouth against Gena's. Her lips separated and drew Dex's tongue inside the soft wet flesh, sucking the tongue, slipping their lips together. Their faces flushed with the heat of their lovemaking.
Dex moved her hand over the girl's breasts. The nipples were pointed and hard. She rubbed them gently at first, then with greater strength until Gena began to writhe and moan on the bed.
Gena opened her mouth wider as if to devour the wet lips and thrusting tongue. All the exhaustion disappeared as the two women grew greedier for each other's body. Dex worked the flat palm of her hand over the stiff young nipples, then kneaded and pulled them with her fingers. A small cry escaped from Gena's taut throat. She thrust her tongue against Dex's, fighting, teasing the woman's tongue in her mouth, then pushed it between Dex's lips and inside the woman's mouth. Gena ran her hands up and down Dex's sides, panting heavily as her tongue explored her lover's mouth. Then the girl's hands moved to the woman's breasts.
One touch of their rich fullness, the melon shape cupped in her small palm and then the rubbery stiffness of the nipples sent her tongue diving down Dex's throat. She moaned again as she pulled the woman's tits. She wiggled out from under Dex's kiss and caught her breath.
Gena wanted Dex's breasts in her mouth. Before Dex knew what Gena wanted, she pushed her up higher off the bed and wriggled down to take the nipple between her lips. Dex gasped as the tongue licked around it and Gena's small teeth grazed and teased it. She continued to hold Gena's breasts in her hand, pulling the points of flesh in time with Gena's mouth sucking on her.
Gena pulled her mouth off the swelling breast and licked all over it. She wanted to go down, to breath deeper the rich odor of sex, drink the juices from Dex's cunt. She began forcing herself down under Dex's body. Dex grabbed hold of her under her arms.
"Not yet," Dex panted. "Not that way." Gena peered up at her with a puzzled expression. Dex reached down and ran her fingers through the blonde curly head, then reached further to caress the girl's tender lips.
Dex pushed her finger inside the small, hot mouth. Gena licked it greedily, then sucked it. Dex pulled the wet finger out of her mouth and ran it down the firm belly until she reached the bush of soft blond curls at her crotch. She ran her finger around in circles, feeling the fleshy cunt lips swell and separate and grow moist. Then she found Gena's clitoris emerging from its hood of flesh. Gena gasped.
"Ooh, yes," she moaned as Dex worked her nib of flesh into full stiffness, then drove her finger into the girl's cunt.
Gena's hands had been resting on the mattress, pressing against it from time to time as shivers of pleasure raced through her. Now she set them to work. She moved them down Dex's full round ass, digging into the flesh with her finger nails, clutching at the two globes. Her fingertips found the crevice and worked their way to Dex's asshole and pushed against the puckered muscle. Dex jumped with surprise as she felt the small finger try to enter her.
"Do it lower," Dex muttered, slipping her fingers in and out of the girl's juicy cunt.
Gena understood immediately. Her fingers rushed to Dex's cunt and pushed between the slippery lips. Dex gasped as she felt the small fingers work inside her, then match the rhythm of her own fingers in Gena's pussy.
Their breathing was coming in short pants now. Dex felt her lips going dry as her neck stretched back involuntarily, as if pulling the pleasure from her cunt throughout her whole body. The finger working inside her was delicious, but not enough.
Dex slipped away from the hand and moved her body around. She straddled Gena's head.
"Yes," moaned the girl. "Give me your pussy now." Gena's tongue fluttered out from between her lips as Dex lowered her crotch down to the girl's face. The first flick of the hot tongue inside her sent a violent spasm through her body.
Dex licked Gena's belly and then clasped her mouth down on the girl's wide-open cunt. The red gash of flesh met her tongue. In seconds Dex was sucking the swollen cunt lips and flicking her tongue deep inside the vulva. Gena's juices rolled over her tongue. Her odor filled her nostrils. She pressed her face in deeper, working her lips, sucking the juices as she felt Gena doing the same.
Hands and mouths worked. Sweat sprang up on the surfaces of flesh. Knees dug into the mattress, searching for steadier balance.
They fell onto their sides, oblivious yet searching, forced on by the urgent demands of flesh and nerves.
Their flicking tongues whipped passion higher. Their bodies curved and clashed and stiffened. Finally, they urged each other up and over the hilltop into great fulfilling convulsions of ecstasy…
Sensations rolled in long waves, driving them long distances as they moaned and sucked their gushing cunts, draining the last drops of the waking dream, sending them into the farthest, darkest depths of exhausted sleep.
Even as they slept they lay together entwined. Relaxing muscles drank in new energy. Flesh refreshed itself. Mouths lay half open, lax and dry lipped. Perspiration cooled.
They slept on into the middle of the afternoon, making love intermittently, surfacing for a while into wakefulness, then dozing again.
They came awake at last, refreshed and pleas ant to each other.
Gena started to say something. Dex put a finger to the girl's mouth.
"I know," Dex smiled. "You're hungry."
Gena laughed aloud. "How'd you guess?"