MY STEPMOTHER was true to her word, though had I anticipated the manner of it, I might have tried to retreat from my fate. Robert was not seen for the rest of the day. Was it to be he? Sarah was quiet but a little more communicative now and seemed not unkindly towards me. I felt sure that our stepmother must have dropped at least a hint as to what was to happen in my own respect for there was a touch of complicity in her manner toward me, little as we said.
When Papa appeared downstairs again all was quiet, my stepmother spurring on such conversation as occurred. Indeed, she encouraged him to read items from the newspaper to us that we might discuss them. Appearing naturally hesitant at first, Papa gained more confidence under her careful guidance for which I much admired her. Sarah blushed a lot, but that was expected of her. In all I knew the net to have been completely cast and tightened just a little, though not so much as to impede us in the generalities of life
“As sheep are guided into their pens at night, so they may be allowed to wander freely in the meadow to graze,” she said to me afterwards. Confessing, however, that this sounded a trifle cruel, she went on to say that this was but a rough comparison. “Soon enough my own pets return to the fold of their own accord and do not need to be led. They know where it is, Clara, and what is its purpose, and there they find warmth and safety. And love,” she added, “for what is at first a discipline imposed from without rapidly becomes a pleasure. There is naught but love in entering a firm strong cock into a receptive cunny or a tight, warm bottomhole, and ecstasy in receiving it.”
“What, though, of a girl who would refuse utterly?” I asked. For at the time of speaking-which was two days after my initiation proper-the question had floated much in my mind.
My stepmother’s expression took on a serious mien. “As to that, one must judge, Clara. Some young women can be extremely fretful and give every sign of refusing with all their might. It is easy to be misled in this, particularly when a great deal of sobbing and squealing is involved-perhaps even some kicking. When resistance appears overmuch, then the girl is best left to think over the matter, may be spanked perhaps and then coddled. One must not give up at the first attempt, but try a second and a third. Complete strangers are best left alone. One must learn a little of the tenor of a young woman’s ways, how she thinks, and so on. Her bodily movements should be observed, and whether she is given to flirting or not. Beware that she is not to be given up to the lusts of but one individual, for you may rue the day that you brought her to what you thought of as ‘training.’ She may-once out of your grasp-find herself given up solely to her elder-for he is bound to be that-and will never know salvation. True, the male may be the first to indulge with her, but then he must be brought to heel afterwards and she must have the seeing of it.”
“As with Robert,” I interjected.
“Precisely so. And you were minded to say your Papa also, were you not?”
“I do not know.” I twisted my fingers shyly.
“Bear in mind, my sweet, that your dear Papa is under my care and attention, intends no harm to you whatever, and is fundamentally obedient by nature, as many men are, though they do not always know it. Such punishment as he receives for his seeming sins, he enjoys, for it is a humiliation with promise. His is a privileged position, and he knows it. On the other hand, many males regard being humbled as a privilege, and perhaps also a form of titillation, as Robert does. In a few weeks’ time, he would be lost without the occasional luxury of wearing silk stockings and soft, frilly chemises. Such brings his proud pego to a condition of stiffness and readiness he might have never otherwise known. What a darling he is-we must treasure him!” she exclaimed impulsively.
“But if a girl DOES finally refuse?” I insisted, for I wondered in my heart of hearts what she would do in such a case.
“My dear, her wishes must be respected,” my stepmother said simply. “If she is one whom you like, then continue to nurture her subtly and perhaps you may still bring her to it, but if not…” she shrugged.
“You would not count her, then, a dullard?”
“How kind you are in your heart, Clara! Not if her personality otherwise pleases. One little trick is to ask her advice upon as many matters as possible. In this wise you may see more clearly into her mind and may even. with guile, make her an accomplice, for while some girls will not do such things themselves, there are occasionally others whom they would like to see doing it.”
Her frankness made me laugh as ever, but I have wandered-I trust not to the reader’s annoyance-from the scene I was about to describe and which I had imagined, perhaps hopefully, would take place in the privacy of my bedroom. It did not. I was not so much as to be made an example of as to present one, as I was told. There was a subtle and clever balance made in affairs, for Sarah was to watch, as I indeed had watched her. This would give her solace in knowing that she had not been “picked out,” as our stepmother said. Conversely, however, I would give the best of examples by not refusing, fretting, squealing or crying.
“This will place you on a rung immediately below myself,” I was told solemnly, and though for a fleeting while I thought it a bit of a trick, I soon understood that it was true and that my complicity in what had gone before had not proved in vain.
The appointed time was immediately after dinner, for a full tummy makes for satisfaction, as is said, and I had also imbibed enough wine to make me feel very pleasant indeed. From the dining room I had heard movements afoot, no doubt by Bertha whom I am pleased to say was not otherwise present. Nor was my brother, who was sent upstairs to “study.” Papa appeared to sense something, but said nothing, for my stepmother overlaid all with bright conversation and to my slight bewilderment, I must confess, he too retired upstairs unhindered, leaving me with my sister and stepmother.
“We will go into the drawing room, then,” was said. I, being the first to reach the door thereto, opened it and saw to my heartbeating surprise that a greater space than usual had been cleared in the centre of the floor and that there stood there now a stout wooden trestle-much as used in sawing wood-upon the top of which was strapped a cushion.
“Sarah, dear, your sister is to be caned. Pray lead her to the trestle, bend her well over it, fasten her wrists and ankles with the leather clamps that are affixed fore and aft and raise her dress up to her waist,” our stepmother said.
I stood perfectly still. Sarah evidently wanted to run and gazed all about as if haunted.
“Well, Sarah?” came sharply from our stepmother and, seeing that I was unresistant, my sister took my wrist hesitantly and led me to the stout wooden bar that was placed at waist-height across two sturdy pyramidal forms. Making a strange little sound in her throat, she then bent me over it gently so that my tummy came upon the cushion. My arms, hanging limp, were soon constrained by the short leather straps buckled about my wrists. I felt then such helplessness as I had never known, but at the same time a sort of distant curiousity about my posture, even envisaging other girls in the same pose and with their bottoms bared as mine was about to be.
Squatting down, my sister then drew my ankles wide apart so that they might be similarly affixed. Then, with a certain vengefulness that I could not help but sense (and even, I might say, sympathised with), she bared me to the waist, finding that I-no more than she-wore no drawers and so offered my cleft moon and pursed quim to view.
How open I felt! My legs were straddled a full two and a half feet apart and I felt a thrill of submissiveness entire. Whose cock was I to have? From whose balls would I receive the throbbing emissions of desire? Would I cry out despite all my endeavours?
Perhaps I thought an interval would then obtain. It did not. My stepmother, taking up a cane she had secreted under some cushions, whistled it softly through the air.
“Oh, do not hurt her, pray!” came from Sarah in the background, for which fond cry I loved her much.
“Hurt her, Sarah? Indeed not. She is to be inducted, even as you have been, or rather in a manner that you will be later on. Mark what I say for I will have no truck with disobedience from either of you. You know that by now-do you not?”
My sister evidently nodded, for I heard no word from her. Then came a shuffling of feet as our stepmother positioned herself and ran out the cane (as I afterward always knew her to) lovingly across her palm. I must confess that I felt a panic then. All such words as had been uttered to me had seemed fine and fair and just, but now reality was upon me. I was to receive.