Surprised, she listened as I told her "That's something our Mom and Dad -" mostly Dad -" have helped me and Janet understand – that 'like' and 'love' are basically the same thing, just different – strengths, I guess you could say. 'Like' is just kind of watered-down love, the same way the stuff they serve in the cafeteria at school is watered-down drink mix; if you can get the stuff you don't need or want out of the 'like', then you have love, just like the stuff at school would have more flavor if you could get the extra water out of it."
She sat silently for several seconds, thinking about what I'd said before she wanted to know "You and Janet – you love people like that? Thinking about what kind of person they are and everything, and then loving them on purpose? You choose to love someone else the same way you'd choose a car or something?"
"It isn't*quite* like that", I told her. "It isn't like we go shopping for people like we'd shop for a car -" trying different ones to see which ones we like most. What we do, really, is just look at the people that we DO meet. When we find the things that we like in that person, we spend more time with them so we can learn what they're really like. If we find even more good stuff in them, then we like them more, and spend more time with them and love them more."
"That really works?"
"Sure. Did you feel the same way about Janet when you first met her as you do now? Think about why you feel differently about her now than you did then."
All three of us watched as Jade was occupied with her own thoughts for a while before she focused her attention on me again.
"Okay, I can see what you're saying -" but why is it so obviously so much more between you and Janet?", she wanted to know.
"Because we're doing what you just did all the time, and doing it on purpose."
She blinked a couple of times, then got surprisingly intense before asking "Doing that makes that much of a difference? Why?"
Calmly, I answered "Yeah, it really makes that much of a difference. If you're doing it all the time, then when the other person does something, you know what happened and when and why. That way, you have it in the front part of your brain where you can really think about it, and decide whether you like it or not, and how much. And when you can do that, it makes it a lot easier to choose how to react to it. If you like it, then you can tell the other person so, and it maybe gives them a reason to keep doing it. If you don't, you can think of a nice way to say so, and maybe get the other person to change if they want to. If you're doing it on purpose, then you're never really surprised how things turn out with other people. I mean, think about it -" if you're always looking at what someone else is doing, and why, then you've got a pretty good idea of what they think about you, too. If you're honest enough to think about what other people are really like, then it's a pretty safe bet that you're going to be just as honest about what you're like, and know why they like or love you in return; and both of you know that as long as you're the kind of person the other one loves, they'll love you. I told you that I like you -" love you -" for your patience, and how helpful and friendly you are -so you know that as long as you're like that, I'll love you. And because you know that I love you for what's good in you, you know that as you get to be an even better person, I'll love you even more. With Janet and me, *both* of us are doing that all the time, like I said; because we know that both of us are doing it, then we know that the other one loves us, the same way and for the same reasons that we love them."
Taking a breath, I continued "If you'll think about it, I expect you'll understand that loving and knowing someone else that way also builds the kind of trust that not many people have with another person. I know and love Janet enough that I was willing to trust her when she said that me coming in here and making love with her would help you. I know and love Nadia enough that I trust she'll understand that just because I made love with my sister, it doesn't mean that I love her any less -" because I know she knows and loves me enough to trust me. I know it sounds kind of circular, and it is – because it's the kind of thing that builds on itself. When Nadia first started coming over here, I*know* that she wouldn't have trusted me as much as she does now. Once she got to know me, and find out what kind of person I am -" or at least TRY to be -" she started to love me. With the good things she has inside, I started to love her, too; and as we started to love each other, each of us payed more attention to the other -" and found out that there was even more to love about the other person. As the love between us grew, so did the trust. I'm not perfect, and neither is Nadia – but both of us trust that the other one is always trying to become a better person, because we know and love each other."
At that point, Nadia spoke up to tell Jade "When I first realized that I loved Danny, I thought I was an okay person – not great, but okay. But after he talked to me about this stuff, and I started trying to do what I knew he and Janet were, I've realized that I am becoming better. Like Danny says, not perfect -" not by a long shot; but better – and I never stop trying. Even my parents have noticed, and complimented me on it."
Somewhat hesitantly, Jade told her "When I first met you, I thought you were basically just 'okay', too. Then a few weeks after New Years, I noticed a change in you -" a good one, that I really liked."
Nadia just smiled before answering "That was when Danny made love with me the first time, and I started to understand what it is about him and Janet. I wasn't used to being completely responsible for myself, so it wasn't easy for me at first; but once I learned that I have to know what I want before I can have it, it got easier. Of course, having Janet and Danny loving me and trying to help when they could did a lot, too."
Jade wanted to know "That was when Danny wanted to be with you the first time?"
Nadia grinned as she answered "No, he didn't want to be with me. I wanted him to be the first guy I was ever with like that, because I really liked the kind of guy he is -" I mean, I had already started to love him for how patient and gentle and understanding he is, I just didn't know it yet. Then when he was with me, and we made love and talked – that's when I really knew that I did love him, and why, and it was so much better than I'd thought it would be. Since then, we've made love more; and every time, it's gotten better and better with him. I mean, the physical part -that's good -" better than good, even. It's knowing that I love him, and he loves me, that makes it so wonderful. I still go out on dates with guys and everything, 'cause even though Danny and I love each other so much, I know it's too early for me to think about settling down and having a family and stuff with any guy. I know that Danny won't talk about me and him, so my parents won't find out that I'm making love -" they'd probably think it was just sex -" while I learn about things that I'll need to know when I go off to college, and even after. After he saw us, I*knew* he wouldn't say anything to anybody -" ever. That's why it was Janet _and me_ that were trying to tell you it was okay."
Jade looked at Janet, then Nadia again, before asking "What Danny said – it's what you were trying to tell me, isn't it? About love, and knowing someone, and trust, and all of that."
Sis answered "Yeah", followed by Nadia's "Uh-huh."
"And even after you spent all that time trying to tell me, and I wouldn't listen or believe you, you loved me enough to go get Danny and come back in here -" giving up the private thing you had with him so I'd feel better", looking at Sis.
"Sure. You're one of my best friends, and I love you. I didn't want you to have go around*worrying* like I knew you would if we didn't."
Jade turned to look at me and asked "And you were willing to be with Janet just because she said so, because you love her and trust her that much."
"I said so, didn't I?"
Then she looked at Nadia to say "You thought enough of him that you wanted him to be the first guy you were ever with -" and he made you happy enough that you keep making love with him."
"Well, yeah."
Then, after looking at all of us, she quietly said "And all of you -you're willing to sit here and answer my questions, and explain everything again. And while you're doing that, you tell me that you love me, too -and not just that, but what it is about me that you love -" and*not one* of you said anything about how I look – just what was inside me."
I suppose if Mom or Dad had been there, they'd have recognized what happened to Jade; me and Sis, and Nadia, we didn't have a clue. All we could tell was that she appeared to be off in her own dimension, looking at something none of the rest of us could see while not paying the slightest bit of attention to us.
When she came out of whatever alternate reality she was in, Jade looked at all of us with tears in her eyes as she exclaimed "All of you – you do love me – and so*much*!", looking like she wanted and needed to hug somebody.
She looked at all of us again before suddenly launching herself at me, surprising the hell out of me; I figured that if she was going to go hugging somebody, it would have been Nadia, maybe, or more likely, Sis -" I mean, they were girls, too, and I didn't have any reason to think that she had any interest in ME. That was how it happened that Jade was able to knock me onto my back, and lay with her body on mine as she hugged me and cried into my chest. When I looked at Sis and Nadia, both of them were smiling at what had happened, and looking like they were ready to start crying in sympathy with Jade. As a kid, it hadn't taken me long to figure out that crying was some kind of female group activity – kind of like how they went to the bathroom in bunches in a public place.
So having Sis and Nadia looking as though they were about to start crying, too, was something of a distraction from the feel of Jade laying on top of me. As cool as her body felt, her breasts felt warm where they were pillowed against my chest. I put my arms around her to try and comfort her, and when I started to gently stroke her back, I discovered just how soft and smooth her skin was.
While I tried to settle Jade down again, Sis got up and left her room; when she came back, she had a hand towel from the bathroom. She tried to give it to Jade, but Jade was apparently too preoccupied to notice it. I went ahead and took it, instead, setting it where it would be handy when it was needed. Sis got back onto the bed, electing to sit at the headboard, next to Nadia. The two of them held hands and whispered to each other while I was busy with Jade.
After a while, Jade lifted her head to look at me and say "I'm sorry, Danny."
Well and truly confused, I had to ask "Whatever for?"
"For getting all hysterical, and knocking you down and laying on you, and crying on you."
"Like I said -" what are you apologizing for? It was pretty obvious that whatever it was that you zoned out on us about, it was pretty serious. If you wanted to hang on to me, and cry on me, and all that, it's okay with me. I was still waterproof when I checked in the shower this morning -", I said, trying to draw a smile from her.
The best she could manage just then was a little half-grin, but that was better than crying, as far as I was concerned. When I offered her the towel Sis had brought back, she readily accepted it and began drying her eyes and face. When she was done with that, she blushed faintly as she dried the tears that had accumulated on me.
"Well, I'm still sorry about it", she told me. "It's just that it all kind of -*clicked* in my mind -" what you said, and what Nadia and Janet told me. All of a sudden it all made sense, and I could see how it worked, and how I couldn't help but be a better person if I started doing the things that you do. And then on top of that, I realized that you love me -" all three of you -" and how much – and it made me so sad and happy at the same time I thought I'd just die."
After I gave her a brief hug, I replied "Okay, the happy I can understand. But sad?"
"Yeah. I felt so sad that so many people will never know what it really feels like to love somebody the way you love me, and I love you, and how good that can feel. I mean, to know and love and trust another person that much, and to care for them the way you've cared for me before I really understood it – that there's people walking around that are looking for something to make their lives better – and know that this would help them so much -" yeah, I'm sad for them."
"I can understand that, Jade. But it doesn't have to be that way -" at least, not like, forever or anything. What Sis and I know, we learned from our Mom and Dad; they've got some friends that they helped understand this, too. Dad says that if every person that understands all this stuff will pass it along to several other people, it won't take long before anybody that wants to can learn how to be as happy as they want for their whole life, and won't have to worry about the ones that don't."
"That's something else I realized. You and Janet and Nadia – none of you has ever tried to tell me what to do or what to think, like you would if you were part of some kind of religion or cult or something. When I had problems with some of the girls at school, all Janet ever did was get me to really think about whatever the problem was so that I could find a solution that would work for ME. That was part of what made me like her, at first: she didn't do stuff to be popular or fit in, she did what she wanted to, no matter what anyone else said."
I had to smile as I told her "That's something else we've learned from Mom and Dad -" to do what we know is right, no matter what."
"Well, it works pretty good. I was having a hard time when I first started school, but after Janet and I became friends, it was a lot easier. Some of the kids would ask me such*stupid* stuff, like did I know kung fu, just because they could see that I'm part Chinese; Janet would just ask them something to make them realize that they were being assholes – 'scuse me."
I just grinned as I told her "It's okay. I think I know some of the ones you're talking about, and that's pretty much what they are."
"Anyway", she said, "I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I appreciate you letting me cry on you and everything. After you and Janet – you know, made love, I wasn't afraid that you'd say anything about me being with another girl. Then when you and Janet and Nadia started talking to me, and I started hearing you tell me what you think of me, it was kind of like being in school and hearing the teacher say something that suddenly helps you understand what they're talking about. I didn't really understand ALL of it, but when I asked, you were willing to keep talking to me and answering all my questions. Then when I*did* understand it, I practically attacked you because I needed somebody to hold me right then."
"I was glad to do it -" you're nice to hold."
Only then did she seem to realize that she WAS still laying on me – and that both of us were naked. I was surprised at how bashful she looked as she moved to sit up again, then blush when she realized that Janet and Nadia had been witness to everything that had happened. When she turned to look at them, Janet told her "It's okay, Jade. I think that what just happened to you is what Mom calls 'getting it' -" when somebody suddenly understands everything that Danny and I grew up learning from her and Dad. She's told us how some of her friends, and some kids that she and Dad taught about this stuff, acted when it happened to them; I don't think that what happened for you was much different that what they went through. From what Mom and Dad have said, it's a pretty powerful thing to learn in a short time, and then*know* what it means and how it works. You wanted to hold Danny, and that's fine. If you'd gone for me or Nadia, that would have been fine, too."
Embarrassed, Jade told her "I believe you, about it being fine. Part of the reason that I was willing to try stuff with other girls in the first place was because boys kind of scared me -" even my brothers. So when I 'got it' like you said, I realized that I don't have to be. I guess I wanted me and Danny to hold each other to, I don't know, prove to myself that I wasn't afraid any more. I just forgot that all of us were naked and everything – not that I'm worried about being naked with Danny, I just didn't want to, uh, bother him."
After taking her hand in mine, I told Jade "Don't worry about it. You're a very pretty girl, but I'm not going to go crazy if you want us to hold hands or each other, naked or not. I liked holding you, and it would make me happy if it happens again – but only if that's what you want, too. If you want to practice not being afraid of guys with me, I'd like that -" but it's your choice, not mine. Okay?"
Jade seemed uncertain, and Nadia told her "Before Danny and I made love, I wanted to learn about guy stuff -" you know, his penis and all that. It wasn't just looking, either; he didn't mind if I wanted to touch and move things around, too. It took a while before he even began to get excited. After that part was done, I wanted to learn about some boy-girl stuff -kissing and touching, and maybe even using our mouths on each other. Danny was fine with that part, too; he never*ever* did anything to push me or make me feel like there was anything I had to do. From what he said, and the way he acted, I knew that he really wouldn't be upset or angry or anything if I decided I wanted us to stop."