A little coo rose from deep in her throat, a sound of fervor, of hopeful anticipation-but with a hint of something even better, an unmistakable touch of gratitude. I liked that, even though it didn't do much for my jittery nerves. But neither would anything else at this point; why let my inner tension spoil our evening of fun? Once again I offered my waiting lover some encouragement, a casual gesture of acceptance, a kind of delayed acquiescence to the entreaty in her eyes.
That was all it took this time. She started kissing my bare legs and seemed overjoyed as I lay limply permissive. My negligee slipped open, the reddish-brown one shot with gold thread, a favorite of mine that I now kept here in the apartment. It was getting a bit frayed around the edges, but the color still came through in a vivid match for my chestnut hair and gold-flecked eyes. On me it looked fine, but the old rag sure had a woebegone droop alongside all the elegant things in Florinda's closet. Still, she liked it there herself! a constant reminder of our ripening relationship-that was her version although I couldn't help wondering if there wasn't a deeper significance involved, another step toward her idea of the perfect marriage. Then again it might even be sexual, maybe it had something to do with the lingering scent of my body, maybe there was something cunty about it…
"Sue, let me-"
"Watch it, you'll tear my negligee."
"I'll buy you another."
"No. I like this one. Thanks just the same, but don't buy me any gifts. I'm not a whore."
"Of course not. Hmm. What do you know about whores? Are you familiar with the species?"
"Well, no, not really. Are you?"
"Some of my best friends are whores, darling." With a chuckle, she resumed her lovemaking eagerly.
"The negligee. Wait. Help me. Let's take it off." I lifted my hips, arching as she lent a hand. The garment slid away and was pushed aside in a frothy heap. "Umm, yes,.that s better. Nothing to worry about, nothing to tear."
Naked now my body was hers to take. Had she suddenly become aggressive then, I probably wouldn't have objected. That sort of treatment might have made demands on my mind enough to help me forget the reason for my jumpy nerves. I had auditioned for a part in a play yesterday afternoon and was still awaiting the results to be posted. It wasn't a very good role or a very good show, just a minor production, nothing more, comparatively unimportant in the general scheme of things around the university. But it had been my first such tryout, no wonder I was nervous! Anyway, at that point I almost wished Florinda would put on the pressure, perhaps even take me by force. But her kisses were like the fluttering wings of a butterfly on my legs, drifting upward tentatively in quest of greater intimacy. My thighs quivered at the moist touch. Her softly seeking lips were close now, but my response was still only-lukewarm. And at last, impetuously, I moved one hand down in front of her face, impeding the progress of that long journey of caresses. It became an obstacle, a barrier between her searching mouth and my waiting flesh.
"Sue? What's the matter?"
"You know."
"Oh “
"Sorry. I'm just not with it. Hey, how about picking up the telephone and finding out for me could you do that? You're friends with the director, aren't you? A phone call would-"
"No! Please don't ask. It just isn't done. You'll have to wait till Monday, just like everyone else who tried out. The parts will be posted on the bulletin board."
"Thanks a lot. I'll die of curiosity by then. Aw, come on, what harm would there be if you just-"
"I said no! What does it take to get through to you? I'd be embarrassed to make such a call, it would be a complete break with custom in the department. Darling, please? You mustn't ask me to do that."
She was adamant, no doubt about it. I shrugged and let her stew awhile, feeling only slightly better as she began to woo me again, kissing the back of my obstructing hand. Her teeth rasped against my skin, biting into the knuckles-but she was doing it gently, not painfully, and I recognized the action as an indication of her inner torment.
"Oh… please… "
"You want it, eh? You want my cunt?"
"Your cunt, your cunt, I want your cunt."
"You'll get it. Plenty. It's early yet and you'll have all you can handle, don't worry. But right now, well, there's something else you can do for me. Roll over."
"Huh?"
"Roll over. On your back. Hurry!"
I nudged her over and stood up on the bed. The mattress springs sagged and creaked under my feet as I straddled her body. Her eyes widened in shock, but that only added to my excitement. Oh yes, I was excited now. It had started out of revenge, a desire to degrade her, to show my displeasure, but that in turn had led to a new thrill, a new and intense enjoyment to be gained from what had just been a rather exasperating situation.
"Don't look so grim, this is supposed to be a treat. It was your own idea last time, remember? The position might be different, but it's still the same ass. And the same tongue, that hot lesbian tongue of yours… "
My knees bent. I let my weight settle slowly, taking aim on the way down. And then I just dropped and squashed myself squarely and accurately on her upturned face. For just an instant, I sensed some resistance down below. But it faded as I sat there perched like that and rocked back and forth to seal the contact, reveling in the sensation of the wet warmth of her tongue. I wondered if she could breathe. Wedged between my buttocks so solidly, she might have been smothering. But as long as that thrusting and retracting tongue-tip remained in motion, I figured everything was fine. My lover was in no danger. On the contrary, she seemed to relishing this somewhat bizarre method of fucking me. At least that was the impression I got. Relishing the taste of my asshole?
I felt pretty grateful to her for picking me up on Monday afternoon. The tryout results were posted and she must have known I'd be needing a sympathetic shoulder to cry on. Or better yet, a nice hot sex session to help me forget my failure. Oh, the agony of it, seeing that neatly typed list on the bulletin board and searching in vain for my name! If ever a girl needed a friend, that was the time. And there she was, Florinda-on-the-spot, right there in my moment of need, offering sympathy and suggesting sex and making herself generally indispensable. I thought seriously about falling in love with her.
When we got to her apartment, though, the picture changed all of a sudden. It was an inadvertent slip on her part-that was how it started, anyway-what a shock to find out that she hadn't even expected to see my name on the list! I quizzed her about it. Why, because I was just a senior? Well, yes, that was one reason, of course-but more important, she knew for a fact that I hadn't done particularly well at the tryouts. And that was when I got the second shock. She had been there herself that day, watching me from the rear of the auditorium.
"You were there-and you knew I wouldn't make it? Florinda, was I really that bad?"
"No, silly. Besides, who am I to judge? Let's just say you weren't quite good enough, that's all."
"I trust your judgment. Tell me the truth now, did I show any talent at all? Even just a little?"
"You looked beautiful up there. But if it's the truth you're after, well… " She hesitated, her expression solemn. "What can I say? Don't get your hopes up for a career in the theater. Earn your degree, you'll be a good grade-school teacher."
"Thanks for the advice. I can do without the sarcasm."
"Darling, don't be so sensitive. Or were you just being nasty, hmm? After all, you did ask for the truth. So stop acting like a spoiled brat will you? Don't expect the world on a silver platter, no matter how beautiful you are. Too beautiful for your own good maybe, much as it hurts me to-"
"Okay, okay. I've already gotten the message. A spoiled brat, is that what you think I am?"
"Well… uh… "
"Is it?"
"I-I didn't mean it to sound like that. Don't be angry. I was just trying to help you understand why-"
"Shit! I've heard enough. It must be difficult for you, entertaining a spoiled brat. I won't conflict myself on you any longer, if that's the case. As far as I'm concerned, we're all washed up, it's all over between us."
“Darling, no! I love you." A hint of anguish seeped into her tone. "You can't mean that not after all we've been to each other, you just can't-"
"Hmph! What have we been to each other? So what if I let you take me to bed a couple of times, is that such a big deal? Does it give you some kind of ownership over me? The hell with it, why argue over a big fat nothing? I'm getting out of here."
She stared at me, her face a mask of pain. "Darling, you can't leave. Not like this. Please stay. At least give me a chance to talk to you.
"To talk to me? Is that all you want?
"Well… "
"I thought not. You see, I know what you want. What's more, I know you're not going to get it. Not tonight, that's for sure. Maybe never the way I feel right now."
"Sue what are you saying? It's just not-"
"This is what you want. Thisss… " I yanked at a catch, a zipper, loosening my dress and then peeling it off hastily. Two more quick movements did away with my bra and panties. I stood there imperiously, my thighs quivering, my naked breasts heaving in suppressed rage. "See it? Nice, huh? See what you're going to be missing from now on?"
She licked her lips nervously, her eyes pathetically eager, watching in tortured fascination. Her hands clenched and unclenched as if she was working up courage to seize me. But her feet remained rooted to the floor. And we both knew there wasn't that much courage in all the world.
With a triumphant laugh, I raised my arms in a seductive pose and performed a languorously revolving dance-step, a kind of half-exaggerated pirouette. "For the 1’st time, look! Because you'll never see it again. You’ll never see it or touch it or taste it, you hear?"
My arms dropped, gliding sinuously downward as my voice turned soft and throaty and thick with charged emotion. "These pretty tits, never again. And here… " I cupped my crotch in a deliberately lewd gesture. It became a caress as my fingers took over and began toying with the silken warmth. And then one finger dipped into my vulva and slipped out of sight momentarily. "There now, am I giving you something to think about, something to remember when you're all alone tonight?"
"Sexy. Sexy little cunt!"
It hit me then, the predicament I had gotten myself into. I had stripped naked on impulse, seeking revenge for the aggravation she had caused me. But in so doing I had also taken the sting out of my threat to leave; wouldn't it look ridiculous to pick up my clothes and get dressed now? I'd have to find some excuse to stay then, some way to back down without losing face. She must have realized it ages ago herself, aware that my indignation just wasn't compatible with the sexy striptease. As if I had been putting on a show calculated to revamp itself into a happy ending, a show to get us both hot enough to kiss and make up. If it could only be done without embarrassment…
That was when her telephone rang. She tried to ignore it at first but soon gave up, turning away with a wry grimace and a murmur of apology. I was glad to see her go, hoping only that it would keep her occupied awhile and give me time to think. Not that I had gotten over my anger, actually. Her criticism still rankled: a spoiled brat, all beauty and no talent. Even worse was the fact that she hadn't told me about attending the auditions until now; no wonder she refused to call and get the results the other night! She must have figured the bad news would destroy any chance for sex. Greedy bitch! How could I let her go unpunished?
She was still on the phone, talking to some out-of-town friend who was apparently coming in for a visit. I listened vaguely, interested only in how much longer the call would run. But I had already reached my decision, of course, an honorable decision that would mean total victory. Revenge was sweet indeed, even at the risk of a little personal frustration. And by the time she hung up, I was dressed and ready to go out the door. To find my own way back to the campus, by bus or taxi or whatever.
"Darling… " She cast herself at my feet, uttering a wail of despair. "You can't, you can't, you can't do this to me."
I had to slam the door in her face, practically. And even then the sound of her voice persisted, begging me to return. Wailing for divine forgiveness. Wailing, wailing, wailing. Discordant, perhaps, but music to my ears…