She answered me by saying "Uh, well, I was, uh, hoping…" before she ran out of steam, and stared into her lap again.
"You were hoping what?"
"Well, um, that you would, uh, you know…" she ran down again.
"What?"
"help-me-have-an-orgasm" she was finally able to blurt out.
That was where I was afraid she was going, but I had to hear it.
"Jan, you know I'd do anything I can for you, but this is something I'm really not sure about."
She started sniffling a little, and asked me "What do you mean?"
I answered by saying "I really don't know if it would appropriate for me to do anything like that. I mean, I know that I've answered a lot of your questions, and helped you find out a lot of things that you wanted to know about, but I'm just not sure that it would be right for me to have that kind of physical contact with you."
"So you're telling me that you don't love me like that, and that you're going to just let me keep having trouble with my – feelings – and you're not going to keep your promise to not let me have the kinds of problems you did when you were younger, then." By now, there wasn't any doubt that she was quietly crying.
I felt like crap. I tried to explain "Trouble, I really hope that you don't mean it when you say you think I don't love you. I really, truly do love you. It's just that if I do anything to help you have an orgasm, it means that we would be having physical contact to do it – sexual contact. Not like the anatomy lesson we had, or anything like that, but actual sexual contact.
That's something that it's real difficult to explain or have a reason for.
Because of your age and mine, it's flat-out against the law: if anything happened and people found out, the best I could hope for would be losing everything I own, and being marked as some kind of sex offender. The worst that would happen would be that I'd go to jail first – and from what I hear, guys in jail don't much care for sex offenders: I'd likely wind up being a wife to some big redneck, if I wasn't killed by someone or didn't have someone beating the living crap out of me every day."
Through her sniffles and tears, she managed to tell me "Uncle Dan, I know that already. But there's only two of us here now, and I hoped that you trusted me enough to believe that I'd never tell*anyone* about it. Besides, all the other stuff we've done had been kind of sexual, too. I mean, when I got so wet during the anatomy lesson, like you called it, wasn't that sexual? And when you got an erection – and told me that you were sexually aroused – wasn't that sexual, too?"
In a way, she was right. But I still had to try telling her "That's all true enough, Jan. But there's still the problem that taking this next step is something that we can't take back – once we've had that kind of contact or experience with each other, the way we see each other with never be the same again. Do you understand that?"
"Of course I do. Why are you talking to me like I'm stupid or something?"
"Honey, it's not that I think you're stupid. I'm just trying to make sure that you really do understand that what you're talking about is forever, and if we did that, we'd never be the same again."
"But we're not the same NOW. I mean, after you saw me in my room that time" – I didn't know she could cry and blush at the same time, but she did – "do you think I'm going to believe that things weren't different between us?"
I had to admit to myself that she was right, there. But I still wasn't ready to give in.
"Jan, you're right. When I saw you then, it really sank in for me that you were really growing up, and not the little girl that I used to carry around on my shoulders when we went to the zoo. But I'm still having trouble believing that you really understand what it is you're asking, and that you really do want help from me with that particular problem."
"Uncle Dan, sometimes you are*such* a big dummy. Don't you think I know what it is I'm asking? Even after I showed you my boobs that first time? Or after our 'anatomy lesson'? Or even the other night? Remember, it was ME that took your hand and put it on my breast! Didn't you wonder how your hand got inside my blouse? Didn't you wonder why I wasn't wearing a bra in the morning, even though I had it on the night before?" – that was one I hadn't caught at the time, but thinking back on it, she was right. "Do you really think that I would have been playing with your penis yesterday morning if I didn't really want to? Or that I would be letting you play with my boob if I didn't like it, and wanted you to?"
By this time, she had (mostly) stopped crying, and was starting to get a little pissed at me. Then she stood up, and put an end to all the discussion.
"Dammit, Uncle Dan, do you think I'd do*this*" – she pulled off her blouse to reveal a braless torso, and continued stripping as she finished with "if I wasn't SURE, and it wasn't my idea?". By the time she finished talking, she was naked as the day she was born – but a hell of a lot better looking.
"Uncle Dan, I'm not asking you to have sex with me. I just want you to help me find out what an orgasm is like, and how to have them myself. If you'll do it, I want to learn about the other things, too, the ones that don't involve actual sex." She continued to stand there in front of me, leaving me a view that was most definitely distracting. But, I expect she knew that.
"What do you mean 'the other things'?"
"I mean some of the stuff that I've read about. You know, the stuff like oral sex and masturbating each other, and like that. I want to find out what it feels like when*I* have an orgasm, and I want to know what happens when a man – like YOU – has an orgasm, too."
By this time, I was finally ready to concede that she was not only serious, but reasonably aware of what it was she was asking. But I was still hesitant – somehow, I really didn't think this would be the end of it, and I wasn't sure if I was happy or sad at the prospect.
She just stood there, looking at me, as what seemed like a million thoughts ran through my mind, and I argued with myself about what to do. Finally, though, I reached a decision.
"Okay, Trouble, I agree. But you've got to remember that this doesn't mean that we're boyfriend and girlfriend, or anything like that. It's not that I don't love you and want to do what I can to make you happy, it's just that if we start paying too much attention to each other after this, people might get suspicious – and then I'd be in trouble. Besides, I think you've probably got a couple of guys at school that you'd rather have as boyfriends, than an old fart like me!"
"I understand what you mean, and no, I don't want us to be a couple or anything. And I'm not mad or upset that you had to say that stuff – you're just saying in words what I was already thinking."
After saying that, she stepped forward, took my hands, and gently helped pull me to my feet. Once I was standing, she quietly started undressing me.
I stopped her, and suggested that she get us a blanket on the floor, so that we wouldn't get too cold. She agreed, and by the time she'd gotten it, and had it spread on the floor in front of the fireplace (where we had a small, but warm fire going), I had finished undressing, and was standing in front of her, just as nude as she was – if more obviously excited.
Jan turned to me, and after a long look at my semi-erect penis, stepped over in front of me. She pulled my hands around her waist, and then started hugging me – pressing herself tightly against me. For my part, I hugged her back, and started caressing her back, much as I'd done before – but this time, I was willing to do a little more exploring. It wasn't long before I was softly caressing her: from her sides up near her breasts, to her shoulders, back down to her firm little ass that I enjoyed caressing and squeezing, and back up to her sides. She, however, was a bit more direct: she had both hands on my ass cheeks, squeezing them, and pressing her breasts and pelvis against me. Naturally enough, I started to become more erect, and it wasn't long before she had my penis trapped between her legs, and was softly rubbing her pubic bone and mons against it. In very short order, I could feel her lubrication starting to spread across the part of my penis that she was rubbing herself against.
I gently pried her away from me, and as my now-erect penis cleared her groin, it apparently brushed against the outside of her clitoris, because I heard her make a sudden gasp. I looked down, and could clearly see the hood of her clit peeking out from the top of her cleft, and the tops of her inner lips not far below it. I was also greeted by the sight of her crinkled areolas, and very erect nipples. To my surprise, I could see that her knees were a bit wobbly, and that she had already started to develop a bit of blush on her face and across her shoulders and the tops of her breasts from her arousal. She looked at me though half-lidded eyes, clearly very excited, and willing to continue. I teased her by saying "We'd better sit down, before you fall down, don't you think?" She could only nod her agreement as I gently guided her to a seated position next to me.
That brief reprieve was apparently enough for her to get her wits back together, so when I asked her where she wanted to start, she was fairly coherent when she told me she just wanted me to touch her however I wanted.
I told her that was fine, and said that if she liked something I did, that she should tell me or let me know in some way – that way, I could help her the most. She nodded her agreement, and started to lay back. I stopped her, and said that it was pretty customary to start by kissing – and asked her if she knew how. She shook her head, and told me she wanted to learn 'the whole thing'. I smiled in response, and leaned forward to give her a kiss on the lips. She eagerly responded, and surprisingly, there wasn't any of the awkwardness that most people experience during their first kiss. In fact, she quickly followed my example when first I opened my mouth slightly, and then touched her lips with my tongue. In just a few moments, we were fully involved, kissing as though we'd been doing it all our lives – indeed, she surprised me by how willing she was to let me explore her mouth with my tongue, and then do the same with me. As we kissed, I moved a hand up, and started caressing her breasts – first one, then the other; cupping them, giving them gentle squeezes, rubbing my thumb over her nipples, and circling her nipples with a finger. Her response to that was to press herself into my hand even more, and increase the activity between our tongues.
After a few minutes of that, I gently broke the kiss, and moved my head around to go to work on her neck and shoulder – which ratcheted her excitement up even more. From her neck, I branched out, and gave her earlobe a few gentle nips – again increasing her arousal, if her gasps and moans were any indication. Once I'd thoroughly covered one side, I softly kissed and nibbled my way across her throat to the other side, where I repeated my actions. I went back and forth from one side to the other several times, each time taking a slightly different path, so that I might work my way across her jaw and chin one time, and across her cheeks and eyes the next.
Only when I heard her start to pant did I lay her back, kissing her all over her face as I did. When she was finally on her back, and her legs stretched out, I started working my way down: the hollow of her throat, her collar bones, her upper chest, the tops of her breasts where they rose out of her chest, her sides, between her breasts, and finally – with her hands in my hair – her breasts, themselves.
I started by laying my tongue against the bottom of her left breast, and curling it upward, so that when I finally reached her nipple, the very tip of my tongue gave it a little 'flip'. My reward was a moan of desire such as I hadn't heard in a VERY long time. I repeated the act on her other breast, with nearly identical results. It wasn't long before I was licking each of her breasts in its entirety, bathing them with my tongue. Between my efforts, and the relatively cool air in the den, her nipples and the tips of her breasts were as tight and erect as any I'd ever seen – and the noises she was making assured me that I was doing things right.
With that kind of encouragement, it didn't take me long to start taking her nipples into my mouth, and flicking them with the end of my tongue as I gently sucked on the tips of her breasts. First one, then the other fell victim to my attentions, eliciting another round of moans and gasps from her – along with pulling my head even closer to her chest. When she'd let me breath, I could smell the delightful aroma of her excitement: a musky, but sweet and fresh scent, that I knew promised a clean and pleasant oral experience, if she'd let me.
Continuing my attentions to her breasts, I started sucking on them in different ways: one time trying to softly suck as much of each one as I could into my mouth; other times, doing rapid little suctions on her nipples; sometimes softly biting her breasts, and other times, gently chewing on the peaks of her breasts. As I did these things, I carefully let my hand trace it's way down her body, until I reached her mons, where I softly stroked the outside of her vagina, and made the occasional lap around her clitoris. I found myself slightly amazed at the amount of lubrication she released – there was more than enough of it to keep her inner lips and clitoris moistened, so that she didn't suffer and discomfort from my activities. A few times, I started to slide my finger into her, and I could hear her when she had a little catch in her breath – I took it to mean that she didn't want me to go that far, so I didn't press the matter; instead, I simply paid more attention to what was available outside her vagina.
After several minutes of attention to her breasts, I started moving again – tracing my way down her belly to her navel, where I licked around it a bit, and then tried to convert her 'innie' to an 'outie' – something that apparently pleased her, judging by the way she started arching herself up toward me, and pressing my face into her abdomen. After several repeats of that, I again started tracing my tongue further down her abdomen, until I was just short of her pubic hair. I paused there, and looked up toward her face.
When she realized I'd stopped, she opened her eyes, and looked down at me.
When she saw the questioning look on my face, she quickly nodded her permission, and laid her head back again, waiting for me to continue.
When I did, it only took her a few moments to try and kill me: about the time I got my tongue on her clitoris, she snapped her legs together, and I was afraid she'd break my neck. With a little effort, though, I was able to pry her legs apart again, and continue: alternating between drawing little circles with my tongue around her clitoris, and licking around her vaginal lips, and gently sucking them into my mouth and 'chewing' on them. Her excitement was now at it's peak, and she was slowly humping her pelvis into my mouth – someone looking at us might have thought that I was one of those little 'nodding dogs' you sometime see in someone's back car window. But I was more than happy to do it – I'd been right about her taste: fresh, and sweet, with enough of a tang to her flavor that I knew where I was on her body. About this time, I wanted to see what her reaction would be if I tried inserting my tongue in her vagina – and her response was a polar opposite: I though she was going to bruise my lips with her pelvic bone, she raised her hips so fast. Thus encouraged, I proceeded to try to fuck her with my tongue – something that she encouraged by humping herself in such a way that about all I had to do was stick my tongue out, and let her do the work. Finally, though, I knew it was time to finish things, and slowly moved my way back up to her clitoris. There, I calmly went about seeing just what kinds of sensations she liked to experience on her clitoris: circling motions – fast, slow, and medium, and how much pressure and where? Figure eights across it – how much pressure, and how fast? Does direction matter? Pulsating pressure – how much 'minimum' and how much 'maximum', and how often? Suck on it – how hard, and how long, and with what pressure variations? Simply licking it – how narrow or wide should my tongue be, and how hard when and where? As it turned out, she liked just about anything I did, if I kept at it. But by this time, she was grunting and moaning and gasping for breath, along with pressing my face into her crotch and muttering incoherently, so I finally settled in to bringing her off: light flickering sensations with the tip of my tongue, not too quickly, and firmly, so that she could feel them without it hurting her. To my surprise, it was just a matter of a minute or so before it hit her: she snapped her pelvis up again, slammed her legs together, and pushed my face into her as she spasmed. My lower lip was against her vaginal lips, and I could feel her vaginal muscles as they clenched, time and again – pushing even more of her fragrant juices onto my chin and down her ass. With my head immobilized by her legs, I could only look up toward her breasts, which were still, as her breathing stopped for several long seconds, as she experienced the first spasm of her first orgasm. Then she gasped, and had another spasm, this one a bit shorter than the last. Several more times it all happened, with each period shorter than the one before, until she was finally able to breathe continuously. It was only then, thoroughly exhausted, that she released my head from between her legs, and lowered her ass and pelvis.
As she gasped, trying to get her breath back, I moved back up, so that I was lying next to her when she opened her eyes. It took her a few seconds to focus, and a couple more before she was able to recognize me. When she did, though, she wrapped her arms around my neck, and hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe. She finally let go, and laid back again; it was another minute or two before she could try to talk – even then, it took her a couple of tries before she was able to get anything out.
"Wow!"
"I take it you liked it, then?" I asked, laughing a bit.
She laughed a bit in return, and said, "Yeah, you could say that. I understand what you meant about trying to explain an orgasm to me, now.