In regards to the events that I am to portray, for obvious reasons, my memory is vague about the exact age I was when the earliest events occurred. When I first began to think back to these episodes of my youth, the details emerged slowly over a period of months and were fascinating to remember. Each time I mentally ran through the sequence of events, I remembered more detail and often one thing would trigger a memory of another. Finally it occurred to me that I should record it somewhere and this is the result.
I have had to make some age approximations but this does not detract from the accuracy of the events, and for obvious reasons you will also find that more details are available for the later occasions.
Terence Fitzbancroft
Memoir of a Young Gentleman Pervert
My Formative Years
I was born in 1941 as the eldest of a family of three boys and these events occurred between about 1948 and 1962. My mother was young, and I suspect, very immature. My father was a hard worker but also was an alcoholic and as he was rarely home, had very little effect on my life. At that time, sex was a subject that was never mentioned and the one time I can remember asking where babies came from, I was told that they were found under cabbages in the garden.
Sometime around the age of five during my first year at school, something happened which made a profound impression on me. I was playing at the far end of the school grounds during lunch recess, when I saw six older boys form a circle around a girl of about seven or eight and take her behind some trees. She was forced to the ground and while two boys held her down by the shoulders, others lifted her dress, pulled her panties down around ankles and then stood around laughing and making ribald comments.
I still remember this vividly, as it was the first time I had seen a girl without panties. I remember little of what she looked like, but what did affect me, was that she was crying and calling out for help and I can remember feeling very sorry for her. After watching for a few minutes, I was so upset that I ran away, and as I moved to another school the following year, I never did find out what happened over it.
What effect this had on my psychological make-up at such a tender age is a matter of conjecture. All I can say that the events of that day are still vivid, and stay with me now more than 55 years later. If it affected me that much as a bystander, I have often wondered what effect it had on the poor girl.
Girls never figured much in my thoughts until I was somewhere about the age of seven when my mother had some visitors from another city stay with us. It was bath time and my younger brothers had been put to bed so it was my turn for the bath. Suddenly the door opened and our visitor came in with her six-year old daughter. She undressed her and placed her in the opposite end of the bath and left us there. Suddenly I realized that girls were different and “something” was missing. I could hardly keep my eyes of her groin and because of the “cut” there, I seem to remember wondering if there had been an accident, and her “cock” had been cut off. I was dying to know what had happened to her and was quite disappointed when her mother returned, bathed and dried her, then wrapped her in the Towel and left to dress her for bed. Thinking back, it was about here that my obsession with the cute little hairless slit between girl's legs started although at that time I was totally unaware of where it would lead me.
I thought no more of this until some months later. I am unsure of the exact age I was, but it was probably somewhere around my eighth birthday. This particular day my brother's and I were playing with a group of neighborhood children in a nearby empty lot. After about an hour everyone left except one girl and myself. We decided to play hide and seek in a large stand of trees. I suddenly remembered the earlier experience and, as we could not be seen, decided to try and see what she looked like. I made the casual suggestion that she may like to play “Mothers and Fathers.” She seemed quite agreeable so we found a small clearing in the trees where we were able to kneel down and not be seen. Within seconds she had lifted her dress and pulled down her panties while I opened my shorts.
I was fascinated to see she was also missing a penis and I investigated this in great detail, to which she seemed to derive some pleasure. I realized that this must be the way ALL girls were made and wondered how she managed to “pee” without a penis. To my great disappointment, we had to cut the game short when we heard her mother calling her for dinner. I wanted to continue a few days later but she never agreed to this again. She came from a family of three sisters and yet was not at all surprised at seeing my very immature “equipment.” That brief encounter piqued my interest and I decided to follow the interesting question about “peeing” the first opportunity that arose and this was the time when my active interest in investigating and fondling the genitals of young girls started.
In the street behind where we lived was a small inner city park called Hamilton Square. It is a square grassed area in the middle of a residential housing area and had about 20 large, very old trees and a lot of smaller bushes. The square had been provided with a Band Rotunda; public men's and women's toilets; and children's playground. It's main use was as a practice area by local brass bands which were very popular back then, but of course was also used as a recreational area by local families and by all the local children as a playground.
Almost opposite the square lived a family with 12 children and I used to particularly friendly with one boy from this large family. When I used to call at his house, if he was not home I would sometimes play with his other sisters or brothers. Also in the family were twin girls who at that stage were only slightly younger than I was. They were not identical twins as one was blond and the other was somewhat darker. One day I happened to find myself alone on the Rotunda with the blond twin. I started to make suggestions and I found that with only a very minor amount of coaxing, she allowed me to put my hand under her dress and touch her genitals through her panties.
Of course I wanted more, so I asked her if she liked it and as she said yes, I persuaded her to follow me across the park to the nearby men's toilet. Because of the position on the edge of the square, they were very close to houses across the street, so for privacy the council had apparently placed the door at the rear and then provided additional privacy by shielding it with a group of trees and bushes. Something I might add that would never be done these days. This toilet was perfect for my activities and I made continued use of it over the years that followed.
We walked over and stood behind the bushes so that we could not be seen from the park side. After I checked the toilet and made sure it was empty, she followed me into a cubicle and after I shut the door, she allowed me to take off her panties. As she was quite a small girl for her age, I helped her up to stand on the seat of the toilet. This placed her at a much better height and I was able to have a marvelous time inspecting and playing with her very pretty young genitals.
At that young age I had no idea that girls had a vagina so my activities were limited to me rubbing my fingers up and down her “slit”. I also opening it to see what was inside and I think this was the first time that I actively realized that there was a tiny bump in there. I can remember wondering if it was a penis that had not grown fully. I showed her my penis, and after seeing it that first day, she seemed quite interested and on later occasions sometimes she would ask to hold it to see it grow larger.
I was very keen to repeat this delightful time and looked for her after school, but every time I saw her, she was with other children. Much to my frustration, I did not see her alone for about two weeks. Then one afternoon as I was walking home from school, she came out of the gate alongside me. I asked if she would like to come to the square and play afterwards. She told me she had to clean her room but would be there after that. I did some of my homework then went to the square and waited for her.
I began to think she was not coming when she walked around the corner and to my surprise walked toward the men's toilet instead of toward me. We met behind it and I asked if she wanted to go in.
She said yes so I made sure that the building was empty, and as there was nobody near, we sneaked into a cubicle. I turned around to lock the door and when I turned back, to my delight she had already taken off her shorts and was removing her panties. Again I helped her to climb up on the seat and this time when I started to touch her gently, she took hold of my wrist with both her hands and pressed my hand harder into her groin.
Of course I cooperated and she seemed to get quite excited by it and I have to confess that I was in seventh heaven. I did manage to persuade her to play with my penis but she really seemed to prefer me touching her.
After that occasion, whenever we met, she always wanted me to “play” with her, regardless of where we were, or what we were doing. Her enthusiasm was such that at times it caused a near disaster and in fact, I can remember one occasion I went to see her older brother at their home and happened to meet her in her father's garage/workshop. Her father was working in a room only few feet away, but before I realized what was happening, she had lifted her dress and was going to remove her panties. I was fortunately able to stop her or I may have been in serious trouble.
This pretty young girl was most unusual in that she seemed to derive a huge amount of pleasure from our juvenile sexual contacts. I don't think she ever had an orgasm but she certainly seemed to enjoy the contact. I have to say that I don't remember any other girl since who derived so much enjoyment from my “activities. These contacts continued for most of that year and I managed to find an opportunity every week or so to take her to the Toilet or into a nearby clump of trees that provided some privacy. At times she would come and seek me out and on the rare occasion when I was not free she seemed quite disappointed. Regrettably after about 10 months, she suddenly lost interest and no longer wanted to play my “games.”
I was totally devastated at loosing that playmate, so I set out to try and interest her twin sister. One afternoon my parents and two brothers were away for the day and as I was home alone, so I walked around the corner and invited back to my house to play. She came a little later and I we played for a while until I eventually I “popped the question.” To my great disappointment I found that unlike her twin sister, she was not the slightest bit interested, despite my best efforts to get her to cooperate. I tried all sorts of inducements, but the only thing she would permit in the end was to briefly touch her genitals through her panties. I never did understand why one sister was so agreeable when the other was not.
I have vague recollections that there were quite a number of minor incidents after this that I cannot recall in detail, but the next major event that I can remember was when I was about nine or ten when I went to visit a friend after school.
At this point, I will apologize in advance if the following description seems a bit clinical but it is this very thing that makes it remain so vividly in my memory.
Arriving at my friend's house, I was met at the door by a very excited boy who told that he and his older sister-who was probably about 13 or 14-had been playing “Doctors and Nurses” and that he had just found that his sister had two holes. I was most interested and as we went to his bedroom and as I walked through the door, I was very totally surprised to see that I was looking at his sisters exposed genitals only six feet away.
She was completely naked, and was lying sideways on the bed with her knees drawn up and her legs spread very widely apart. This allowed excellent access and enabled us to examine her genitals in greater detail that any girl I had seen before.
We stood beside the bed and had a marvelous time with our noses almost in her vagina inspecting it in very minute detail. The thing I noticed immediately and can remember most vividly was that this strange unexplained hole was extremely wet. We still had no idea what this hole was for, but we took turns playing with her. I got a huge amount of enjoyment from rubbing her “slit” and inserting our finger's in her “hole,” although one finger at a time was all she would allow. 1
1 In those years, few children had any knowledge of the names for the parts of the female genitals and I had certainly never heard of a hymen. The overriding memory I have is that, to my young eyes her “hole” (vagina) seemed huge, and I presume that if she had ever had a hymen, somewhere she had lost it. Her brother and I were able to see deep inside her Vagina and insert a finger with no resistance at all. My main overriding memory of this was that her vagina wasverywet and as her tummy rose and fell as she breathed, her vagina blew little bubbles. This may sound odd I know, but it is these odd things are what memories are made of.
I would tickle her “bump” with my finger while my friend would work his finger in and out of this “hole” then we would swap over.
I must have been very sexually excited but I cannot remember what I did about it, nor can I remember if she climaxed or not.
After about 40 minutes she wanted to go to the toilet and to our huge disappointment she came back dressed so our fun was over.
On several later occasions her brother and I tried to persuade her to repeat the experience but to no avail. About six months later they moved to another section of town and I lost touch with them.
Terence Fitzbancroft
Memoir of a Young Gentleman Pervert
Middle School Years
Over the fifteen-year time period that I talk about here, there have been many dozens of occasions where I had relations with young girls.
Most were a single brief encounter, but each of these described here had something unusual about them that made them stay in my memory while the rest are just vague shadows. However, all followed a similar pattern. I would meet a girl somewhere and something about her would make me think she may be amenable. I would very carefully make suggestions and, if agreeable find a secluded location (often, public toilets or within dense clumps of bushes) and pull down her panties. I would then fondle her genitals and she may (or may not) do the same to me, although I don't ever remember masturbating in front of a girl until much later.
More often than not, I would never see her again I find it interesting to recall how easy some girls were to persuade to participate in my “games” and how difficult (or impossible) others were. Thinking back, it seems that I must have been the local neighborhood “sex fiend.” My two brothers never showed any such tendency that I was aware of, and I frequently wonder what made me the way I am. At one time or another I must have tried to have my “way” with every girl nearby and while some were successful, most were not.
About a year after this, our family went on a 300-mile bus drive to visit one of my mother's old school friends in another city. This family had two daughters that had been placed in one bedroom while my brothers and I share one across the hall. On the second day as my brothers were playing outside and our parents were busy in another part of the house, it was not long before I was in their bedroom and tentatively making suggestions. The older one was not at all interested, but the younger girl certainly was. I can remember sitting on her bed, and pulling the crotch of her panties to one side while I gently rubbed her “slit”. While the older sister apparently disapproved, she still sat on her bad and watched what I did with a great deal of interest. She never “told on us” which was rather puzzling when I think about it now.
As the following day was very sunny, the two families went to the nearby beach. The older sister had a friend with her and as my brother's were young, they had to stay near the adults and play in the sand. This meant that the younger girl and I were free to explore.
The beach was a very safe one and as the tide was a long way out, we walked miles out on the tidal flats to investigate rock pools and stranded fish. I suddenly realized that we were well out of sight of the shore and there was nobody nearby. We stopped to investigate a large rock pool and I asked if she would like to play “doctors” again.
She happily lay on the sand and spread her legs wide apart. I was able to pull the crutch of her swimsuit to one side and had a delightful time playing with her genitals, which she again seemed to enjoy.
I suddenly remembered my puzzlement about how girls were able to pee without a penis so asked if she could show me. After all, we were already wet and there was only sand under us. She said, “You do it first then I will.” I was able to pee to show her how boys “did it,” while she sat in the sand and watched me with considerable interest. Her turn came so she squatted while I held the material of her swimsuit to one side and within a few minutes, was able to oblige.
Regrettably because she squatting and the swimsuit was partially in the way, I was still not able to fully see where the stream of urine came from. It seemed to be from this mysterious, unexplained hole. I now knew all girls had this hole and I can remember wondering why it had to be so big just to pee out of, when the end of my “cock” only had a tiny one.
Much to my disappointment, we were unable to be alone for the rest of our visit, so no further opportunities presented themselves. I can still remember how frustrated I was, having to return home and leave my fun playmate behind.
On another occasion about this time I was involved in an interesting role reversal and this was the only time in my early life where a girl initiated the activity. Two older girls that I knew slightly lived in a nearby street said they had something to give me and would I call around that afternoon after school. I did so and when I got there I was taken into what was obviously one girl's bedroom. I was told that it was a surprise, so I was asked to lie on the bed and close my eyes.
Suddenly the older sister held my arms while the younger started to remove my shorts. I was a bit frightened and started to struggle but to avail, as they were larger and stronger than I was. When they started to play with my penis and testicles, I suddenly realized that this was fun and lay back to enjoy it. With a bit of persuasion on my part, after a while the older one lifted her dress, removed her panties and allowed me play with her genitals but would not allow me to insert my finger in her “hole”. She quite well developed and this was my first real experience of full female pubic hair.