Marvin was too unlucky. After making his vow twenty-two years ago, the number of pussies he had gotten to fuck could be counted on one hand – well, in reality, on one finger.
What fucking luck! How many other virgins get pregnant the first time they fuck a guy.
Not Many.
Shit, Marvin couldn't believe how fucked up life had treated him. The very first girl he fucks has to end up pregnant and married and motherhooded all in one fucking year.
Marvin turned over on his side in bed and faced his wife, Connie. She was sleeping peacefully – shit, she always slept peacefully, as if nothing in the world could disturb her. Hell, nobody could disturb Connie, not even a man with a fuckable cock. She was one of those women who had never experienced an early night fuck, or a midnight sixty-nine, or a morning of cunt-eating, or any of those other sexual things that American couples specialize in.
In short, Connie Balakian had only been fucked once in her whole life – by her husband Marvin on their first date when she was a coed out of the University of Oklahoma, class of 1960. Well, at least Marvin knew she was faithful.
Marvin remembered that date very well – shit, any husband would remember the first piece of ass he got off his wife, but for Marvin, it was like an unforgettable memory because it was the one and only time he had gotten a piece of ass off his wife.
The year was 1959, the place was the Will Rogers Turnpike, the situation was as follows: Marvin was naked and in the back seat of his 1957 Chevy that he had bought hot off several Texas Mexicans who had sold it to him for two hundred American dollars, which was a pretty good profit for the spic-eyed Mexies because they got it for nothing down at Midnight Auto.
Connie was also naked in the back seat – and she was ready to piss in her panties. Only her white cotton panties were on their way to New York because Marvin had thrown them out the window and they had been snagged on the tailgate of a U-Haul beading east. Yet she was still ready to piss in fear because she was in a precarious position.
As most people know, chicks in 1959 had to put up resistance before they fucked their first cocks. Nothing like today's liberated woman who acts like a hot hen in search of a cock when deep down inside they're just as chicken as the chicks were in 1959.
Now Connie, naked Connie, who was squirming uncomfortably in the back seat of Marvin Balakian's 1957 stolen Chevy, said frightfully, "Will it hurt, Marvin?"
Marvin shook his head, pretended to be groovy, said in a neat-o, keen-o voice, "It's keen, Connie. Man, fucking is wildsville."
Connie shook her head. "I don't know, Marvin. Your whatchamacancallit sure looks big."
"You mean my cock?"
"Marvin!"
"Well, Connie, that's what people call cocks. And mine's no different than other guys' prick… except it's got a little more curve to it."
"Yes, I noticed that," Connie commented.
"My daddy's was more straight-shaped!"
"Oh!"
"Oh, what?"
"Oh, I thought you never seen a cock before."
"Well, jeez, Marvin. Daddy's cock ain't really a real cock, I mean 'cause it's my daddy's cock. Not like some other man's cock. I mean my daddy's no stranger to me, you know."
"Oh… Hey! You said cock, too. Shame on you."
"What? Oh… yeah, I guess I did say cock." Marvin breathed very heavily, the windows of the car started to fog up. Christ, it had sounded so erotic when Connie said cock, like God had made her lips for saying cock and prick and dick and pussy and cunt and twat. Jeeesus! His cock was bulging another inch.
Marvin looked down at his erection. The moonlight pouring in from the foggy windows gave him enough light to see by. He didn't like what he saw. Oh, his prick, was erecting all right, but the angle of his erection sure didn't look all right. Well, he knew that his cock always erected in a banana shape, but would Connie know that the way his prick erected was unusual, or different, or strange, or weird?
"Your cock looks weird."
"What!?"
Connie was looking directly at his prick, watching it grow larger and larger. And, as it grew bigger and bigger, the old bend in the middle became more pronounced, and pretty soon the tip of Marvin's cock was digging into his navel because of the unusual curve in the shaft.
"Your cock looks more like a suitcase handle."
"Ah," Marvin lied, "that's because of the way I'm sitting. When I stand straight, my cock really straightens out." God, he hoped and prayed that she wouldn't ask him to stand up.
"Can I touch it?"
"Touch what… oh! You mean my cock. Sure, if you want to."
Her hand was ice-cold and Marvin gasped when her icy fingers started prodding his cock here and there. Oh, Christ! Her fingers were cold, but his cock was as hot as his sweating forehead.
"Gosh, Marvin. I thought pricks would be all bumpy and have zitty things all over them. My mom used to tell me that men have such ugly ideas between their legs."
"Yeah, what?"
"Yeah, your mom was wrong… oh, God! Connie, please keep touching me like that!"
Connie kept touching his prick. After all, it was the first cock she had ever touched well, except for the times her daddy used to fuck her mother when she was still in the womb, but most people don't consider that any kind of incestuous contact unless it was in the ninth month of pregnancy.
Marvin's slippery ass slid down into the scat, giving Connie's ever-moving hand more room to touch his cock.
She really started to get the hang of touching a cock. She couldn't believe how much pricks throbbed. She couldn't believe that cocks had such big heads on them. Shit, pricks were nothing like they showed in her eighth grade sex hygiene class – those textbook cocks looked more like overgrown limp thumbs. Instead of using a light feathery touch to find out the true dimensions of Marvin's prick, she took a good baseball grip around the girth of his cock.
"Oooooooh, Connie! God, you got such a good grip an my cock!"
"Marvin, what's this bulgy thing that runs along the shaft?"
"What bulgy thing? Oooooh, please Connie, keep doing that!"
Connie had discovered this pulsing, bulging thing that ran from the base of Marvin's pulsating cock to the throbbing head of his prick. The pulsing, bulging thing was pulsing harder and bigger, bigger everytime she moved her baseball grip up and down on his cock.
"Gosh Marvin… pricks sure are smooth and really slippery… Yuk! What's that stuff all over my fingers?!"
Marvin wanted to die, wanted to disappear into the seat cushions. He tried his best to shrink into the upholstery but the customized Chevy had a Tijuana tuck-and-roll job that was just too well done.
"That's stuff… er, that's stuff that makes babies."
"Oh, God! No! Marvin, it's all over my hand! Look, Marvin! It's all over my hand!"
Marvin looked at her gooey hand in the moonlight. Yeah, her hand looked like it had just been squeezing oranges or something because it was dripping wet. Oh shit, her fucking hand wasn't going to get pregnant anyway… what's she so scared for?
Connie sat up straight, wiped her hand on the Tijuana tuck-and-roll.
"I don't think we better go any farther, Marvin."
"What?! B-But, Connie… I…"
"Shush, Marvin. I should be getting back to the dorm, anyway… I've got my oral exams in home economics tomorrow."
"Shit, Connie. Shit and double shit I wanted to fuck. I wanted to make out with you. I wanted to love you, Connie."
"What? What did you say, Marvin."
"Huh?"
"What did you just say a moment ago?"
"You meaa when I said double stilt and that I wanted to fuck you."
"No, no, no. After that."
"Well, I said that I wanted to make out with you."
"After that even."
"I wanted to love you, Connie?"
"Yes! That! Oh Marvin! And i love you, too! Oh, God, Marvin! Do you really love me?"
"Uh yeah, Connie I love you… in, uh, my own special way."
"Then we can do it, Marvin. As long as I know you love me and that you won't take me for granted and that you'll love me forever and that you'll be mine forever. Oh, Marvin, I love you, too."
"Y-You mean we can fuck then?" Marvin looked at Connie, saw the way her young titties glistened in the moonlight, saw the way she looked at him with those same baleful eyes that Bessie had.
"Yes."
"Keen! Oooooo, double keen! Come here, Connie."
Now there was no reluctance, no resistance on Connie's part. She was going to get fucked by the first prick whose owner had told her, no, promised her that they would love each other until death or divorce do them part.
Connie wriggled across the tuck-and-roll. Marvin felt her titties for the first time. They were good-sized titties, more than enough for each of Marvin's groping hands. Her nipples felt erect, and Marvin knew that was a good sign because he had underscored page forty-three of Dr. Gabriel Winslow's A Beginner's Guide to Sexual Knowledge where it had stated that a woman's nipples were very sensitive and very erogenous.
They sure felt sensitive and erogenous to Marvin as he fingered and tweaked and played with Connie's nipples. And now Connie was starting to gasp, starting to make those moans and groans that sound more like the sound track of a porno movie.
But Connie was moaning and gasping because Marvin's hands were so Goddamned rough on her sensitive and erogenous tits. Slit, it felt like he was trying to milk her tits more than turn her on. But she didn't dare say anything to Marvin because he was in love with her and everyone knows that love can sometimes by cruel and hearties.
"Ooooooh, Marvin!"
"Ooooooh, Connie. You'll love it! Your titties feel sooo gooood!"
Not to Connie. Shit, her nipples felt like they were being wrenched off by a pair of wet pliers. Wet pliers? Oh, no! Marvin had his mouth on her nipples! He was sucking her tits! He was nibbling and chewing at her tit-ends like Baby Huey!
Talk about pain and torment and agony – shit, Connie wanted to scream.
"Aaaaaiiiieeee! My tits! Oh, God, my tits! They're so sensitive, Mama!"
Marvin nodded his head and said, "Mgggfffffhhhhhh?" Because that's all ho could say with a hot and hard nipple in his mouth.
Connie writhed in agony. Her legs were flopping back and forth and her ass was moving in all directions at once on the tuck-and-roll. Shit, she had to get away from the biting and chewing mouth and that finger in her cunt.
Finger in her cunt?!
Oh, God! Marvin, her lover and future fiance and future husband, had his finger in her virgin cunt! Well, his finger really wasn't in her pussy, but it was down there amidst all that hair, searching and digging and probing for the place were piss and blood and babies came from.
Connie grabbed Marvin's sweating head, tiled to pry if off her heaving titties.
Marvin knew he was turning her on now – shit, all women never want to really orgasm quickly because they think that lovemaking works in stages and they don't want to be known as too easy. Shit, if they would only let themselves go – just like that sex guide said when it was written by that famous doctor of proctology.
They hassled and wrassled their way to a very uncomfortable position for Connie. She was on her back, her head bumping against the arm rest, one leg touching the foggy back window, the other leg down on the floorboard raking furrows into the cheap Tijuana floor carpeting.
Marvin felt so great, felt like a Goddamn true stud. Shit, he had his first piece of ass in the most vulnerable position. Connie's legs were spread wide apart and he had wedged his hips and groin and loins and upcurved cock between those widely splayed thighs. His lips still maintained a vacuuming grip on her tit-ends.
"Marvin… God, please, Marvin! Oh, Marvin!"
Marvin knew it – he just knew that Dr. Winslow's book was right. She was asking for a fucking. She was cruising for a bruising. Just like the doctor's good book said: "The majority of women have latent sexual desires. And the good lover must practice and practice until he finds the right key to open the female's libidinous doors."
Oh, yeah! Marvin had the right key all right. One of the keys was his finger. Goddamn! Foci that pussy! Just feel it – the way his finger found her tight cunt and jabbed deep into the secret, libidinous doors of her pussy.
"Aaaaaaiiiiieeeee! Marvin! Oh, please, Marvin!" See! Dr. Winslow was right! He had found a key. Marvin had found one, of the keys to unlocking a woman's secret passions.
He practiced turning the key.
"Aaaaaiiieee! My cunt! My cunt's on fire!"
Whooooppeeeee! Marvin twisted his finger, felt all sides of her tight fuckhole and tried to make her cunt open and spread apart so that he could slip his master key into the libidinous doors of her cunt.
Connie's mouth was bleeding because most people when they bite their lips will taste blood and experience a little bit of pain. Of course, the pain Connie was experiencing not only came from her chewed lip but from the libidinous tight doors of her pussy. She swallowed mow blood as she teethed her lower lip, bracing herself against the agony coming from her ravaged pussy.
Marvin was in an ape-shit mood again. Going bananas over how well he could turn on a chick, another finger was inserted into her cunt. Another twist to the left and right.
"Aaaaiiiieeee! My cunt! Mycunt! My cunt… my cunt."
God, was that an orgasm? Marvin wondered. Her voice had died down so suddenly. Gosh, Marvin wished he had memorized chapter fourteen of Doc Winslow's book – the chapter entitled, "The Karma of Sexual Thrills".
Marvin suddenly forgot about chapter fourteen. Shit, in actual practice he was still on chapter four – "The Penetration and Preservation of the Species."
Marvin was sure in hell ready for penetration – well, he was ready to penetrate because he knew for sure now that Connie's cunt was ready to be penetrated. So he became like the active tense; in other words, he became very active and his cock became very tense. Whereas Connie acted more like the passive tense; passive because she knew she was going to get the shaft – oh, sigh, love is cruel in so many ways – and tense because she had never put a foreign object up her cunt like all the U. of O.. Sooner cheerleaders bragged about.
Marvin glanced down at Connie's closed eyes and could see where she was so passionate and turned on that she looked like she had chewed away half her lower lip.
"I'm going to fuck you now, Connie."
Connie's eyes shot open.
They bulged way open!
Then they squeezed shut, and team were spilling out of the corners of her baleful eyes because the pain in her cunt was so immense.
That was bow Connie reacted to the way Marvin had positioned his cock at the doors of libidinous cunt. That was the only way she could react because she couldn't move her pussy any when Marvin shoved and let out a shriek like a castrated banshee!
"Aaaiiiee! Oh, Connie! My Goddd!"
Blood and pussy-juice and pre-cum had been plungered out of her pussy the moment Marvin had put all his one hundred and eighty pounds behind the force of his shove up her cunt. It was a tight fit. An uncomfortable fit for Connie because his upcurved cock had scraped along the topside of her pussy like a D amp; C performed by a paraplegic gynecologist.
Marvin ticked away happily, feeling all that juicy pussy just grabbing his cock sucking the Karma from his curvy prick.
Connie lay there and took her fucking like a man. She couldn't believe the horrendous amount of pain that his cock forced into her cunt. Everytime he shoved into her tight snatch, she had the natural inclination to bring her legs together – after yearn of training, it's very herd for most girls to open their legs in public when they've been taught just the opposite – trying to force his cock away from her pussy.
Naturally, that did wonderful thin to Marvin's cock and to his macho ego. Yeah, his cock knew that it was in a hot piece of pussy and his mind knew that Connie really dug fucking, otherwise why did she create more cock-to-cunt friction everytime he plowed into her?
On every outstroke, Connie gave a sigh of relief. But the strokes going out were so fast and furious that she couldn't tell if his cock was coming or going, and that's why her sighs sounded like one continuous moan.
"Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!"
Marvin loved it. Shit, he knew she loved it. Just listen to the way she takes to fucking. Like a goose takes to a gander.
"Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!"
Oh, wow! Marvin wanted to tell her that he really did love Connie – loved the way she fucked, loved the way her cunt clung to his upcurved cock as he fucked into her, loved the way she said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh everytime he withdrew his prick.
He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but there was no time. His cum was coming. The wads of jizz had been contained too long, and now they were crawling out of his balls, up the bulgy pulsing thing that led to the slit at the end of his cock.
And that slit was up somewhere in the midst of her hot and tight womb, ready to spit out his seed like a pitcher spews out his chaw.
Spit. Spit. Spit.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!"
More cum, more jizz, more semen, more white gooey crap fired out up his upcurved cock and splattered her virgin womb.
"Aaaaiiieeee! Marvin! Your cock's so big!"
See! What did Marvin tell you! She was hot as a pistol. Hot as hell. She loved fucking and be loved to fuck her – God, maybe he did love her!
Marvin was going to say he loved her, but the cunt felt so jizzy great that all he could manage was, "AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!"
Then it was over. Done now. Finis.
And Marvin's one hundred and seventy-five pound body – he had lost three pounds in sweat and another two in cum – collapsed on Connie.
Connie grunted. "Ugh!"
"What'd you say, Connie?" Marvin whispered lovingly, rubbing his eight o'clock shadow against her sweaty breasts.
"I hate you! You beast! You pig! That was awful! I hate you!"
"I hate you! I hate you!"
"Marvin? Marvin! What the hell's wrong with you?"
What? Where the hell was he? Marvin felt for the tuck-and-roll, but his hands gripped wet sheets. Christ, he was in his house, in his bedroom, in bed, next to his wife whom he had only fucked once in fifteen years of marriage.
"Oh, shit," he groaned. "I was having a nightmare."
"Oh, okay," Connie said sleepily. "Good night."
Marvin wanted to tell her about his dream, wanted to scream her awake and get her to listen to what he had to say. So he said it to her, not in a scream because that might wake her up and really get her pissed, but in a whisper.
"You bitch, Connie. In fifteen years of marriage I only fucked you once. That's unbelievable! Unfair! You bitch. Can I help it if I've got a crooked cock – huh?! Can I help that! Shit!"
Marvin reached over and grabbed a pack of Luckies off the nightstand. He lit up. He sat up. He thought.
Someday, some way, somehow he was going to find a woman who could appreciate his crooked, upcurved cock. Shit, no man could be that unlucky.