His hairy cock, both side and wide,
Hung like a beggar's wallet;
His prick stood like a rolling-pin,
She nicker'd when she saw that.
Chorus: For a' that and a' that, etc.
And then she turned up her cunt,
And she bade Donald claw that;
The devil's dizzen Donald drew,
And Donald gave her a' that.
Chorus: For a' that and a' that, etc.
FACETIAE.
Boss returning from the wars,
Wearied out with wounds and jars,
Tells the tale of blood and strife,
Woe and suffering to his wife;
"Never mind, dear Boss," she said,
"Your tool is safe — let's go to bed."
Through my brain strange musings ran,
Deeply pondering: "What is man?"
Still the question I resolve,
Philosophic doubts to solve:
"What is man? I'll tell you true,
He's but a pizzle's dirty spew!"
LINES FOR VALENTINES.
What a fate this poor girl in her lovers befalls,
A prickless old man, and a youth without balls.
Boast not that you have won a rich wife,
Length of tool, not of purse, makes the comfort of life.
Your prick is so useless for love's pleasant game,
Your nose long and hooky and fuck of such muck,
Go, stick then your nose in the cunt of your dame,
And you'll have at one go both a blow and a fuck.
To his bed he went sleepy and drunk, oh, very!
He wanted to piss, felt about for the jerry,
Took up by mischance a big mousetrap instead,
Which snapped off, alas! his old gentleman's head!
ADVERTISEMENTS.
To Be Sold — A Bargain
A MAIDENHEAD
(Slightly Soiled)
The owner being about to get married is willing to sell the above by auction. Further particulars will be announced in the next number of the pearl.
TO THE LOVERS OF GOOD THINGS.
Messrs. Rogers, Rosencrantz and Co., Importers of Foreign Females, and other Curiosities, beg to announce the arrival of a cargo per steamship Orient, direct from Zululand, of young girls of all ages from 8 to 16 years of age, all genuine virgins which will be offered for selection any time next week. Terms — C.O.D.
N.B. — As this class of goods is extremely perishable buyers must remove their purchases at their own risk.
Orders from the country per post carefully attended to; and the girls sent sealed with our trade-mark over their cunnies, without which we do not guarantee them.
RELIGIOUS.
Rev. Newman Hall will lecture on "The Conduct of Lot and His Daughters," December 20. Illustrated with Dissolving views of the Paternal Pego entering the Daughters' Cunts.
Also January 7: "Solomon in All His Glory," with 700 wives and 300 concubines; being an attempt to elucidate the mystery of how he gave satisfaction to them all.
Rev. J. Spurgeon will Address the Young Woman's Christian Association on the subject of: