Abhors your nasty hot desires,
Nought less than marriage she requires,
Such maidenheads the wise detest,
The adultery maidenhead's the best.
The vagrant nymph who sells her charms,
And fills in turn a thousand arms,
Besides the loss of gold and fame,
May set Priapus in a flame,
Such fire-tailed comets God confound.
A wife is always safe and sound.
The genial flame I've oft allayed,
With buxom Kate, my chambermaid,
And dozens such as her, but found
Such sport with ills beset around;
He who at liberty would feast,
Will find another's wife the best.
A mistress kept at first is sweet,
And joys to do the merry feat;
But bastards come, and hundreds gone,
You'll wish you'd left her charms alone;
Such breeding hussy's are a pest,
A neighbour's wife is far the best.
If you are rash, a wife at first
May into horrid fury burst,
"Sir, you shall rue throughout your life
The day you've kissed another's wife."
Reply, "My dear, this gives the zest,
I always like my neighbour's best."
Jove, I remember, when inclined
To feast himself on womankind,
Though maids enough to him were free,
Always preferr'd adultery;
He took the shape of bird and beast,
To prove Adultery the best.
But while this naughty sport we sing,
Who can forget our gracious King (Geo. IV);
Him many a lady pleasures gives,
For which her husband pay receives,
God bless King George! His Majesty
Is patron of Adultery.
I own the dangers of the suit,
The sweetest is forbidden fruit,
And laws as thick as hairs are set,
Around the center of delight;
This peril gives the highest zest,
And guarded hoard is sure the best.
The wandering nymph your purse desires,
The chambermaid to rank aspires;
Your wife content with marriage dues,