And such unhappy damsels as a Peeler might select,
For reasons of his own, to be pronounced "suspect,"
Were all served with a Summons to disprove it to the Beak,
Or submit them to be Speculumed in batches once a week;
Then cried every youthful student, "That examining M.D.,
With Ј500 per annum, would be just the Post for me,
No wealthy wife with Coach and Pair, or Patients, would I seek,
But I'd Speculum the ladies at Ј9 10s. per week!"
And thus began the era of Sexual legislation:
To man alone the State allows Free-trade in Fornication;
Diseased or sound — no matter — let him riot fancy free,
And gaily pox the ladies that the Peelers-guarantee;
Is not Man the Nobler sex, for whom was Woman made?
And shall harassing Inspections his liberties invade?
For Man alone, the Bill of Rights, and Magna Charta passed;
And shall Free-born Fornicators be with dirty Harlots classed?
The sauce that suits the Goose, o'er the nobler Gander pour?
Or the State restrict the God-like Sex's privilege to whore?
Since clandestine harlots will in spite of Statutes lure,
In spite of all espionage to keep the men secure;
Methinks the Act is faulty, in not finding means to know
The Article that's warranted, from her that is not so.
A list should be placarded conspicuous to see,
Or some special Chignon ordered, for the Girls we guarantee.
And since on Prostitution 'tis resolved to legislate
(Like Cab fares and Pawnbroking, and the sale of bread by weight);
Methinks 'twere only logical to extend the Act's protection,
And not limit our paternal care to personal infection.
Why not advance another step, extortion to put down,
And regulate the charges of women of the town?
A Commission might be ordered, a scale of fees to draw,
Composed of the supporters of this Sanitary Law
(These Bishops, Deans and Doctors, who have found a new vocation
In preaching up the doctrine of the right of Fornication.)
How early that Commission could assemble every morn,
Taking evidence from Regent Street, the Argyle and Cremorne, Making curious calculations, how to regulate aright
The charge for short engagements, and engagements for all night,
Meditating from the Cab rules, of suggestions the adoption,
A charge for work done, or by time, at the Engager's option.
For reference the Reverends their Bibles might turn over,
To see the charge of Tamar to her Israelitisch lover;
And ponder if the object of the Heaven-inspired Narrator
Was suggestions for the guidance of each future fornicator?
While all Schoolmasters — Bishops, who had on the subject brooded,
Could advise them whether birching should be extra or included.
LADY POKINGHAM, OR THEY ALL DO IT;
Giving an Account of her Luxurious Adventures,
both before and after her Marriage with Lord Crim-Con.
part III.
(Continued.)