And emetics, laughing, dared;
Yet in vain she held the pot,
For he only belched and glared.
Came a nurse of ninety years,
An enema huge she bore;
Shoved it up amidst their jeers,
And he shat for evermore.
SONG.
If anxious Venus, beauty's queen!
Your empire should endure,
Borrow Cecilia's face and mien,
Our homage to ensure.
Though perfect all the charms may seem,
That famed Apelles drew.
Not half so sweet are they, I deem,
As fair Cecilia's Cu.
The feelings of my faithful heart,
My mouth shall still express,
Upon that Cu—, delicious part,
In rapture's wild caress.
Oh! ye, who ne'er disquiet felt,
Nor aught but virtue knew.
Whence is it? But your eye ne'er dwelt
Upon Cecilia's Cu.
Cecilia, think not, from my brain,
The souvenir can remove,
Of thy sweet Cu, 'twill there remain,
Imprinted fast by Love!
But if my thread of life should break,
Expire thy lover true.
May I flight 'mid kisses take,
Imprinted on thy Cu!
GONE TO CA-CA.
Tom brought home some friends,
And not finding his dear,
But only young Harry,
Who look'd rather queer.
(Papa) Hush, Harry! What nonsense!
Run, call your Mama!
(Boy) Mama and de Captain
Are gone to Ca-Ca.
(Papa) Hush, Harry! What nonsense!
Just hear the child talk!
(Boy) Captain pull down his breeches,
Ma pull up her frock!
THE PATIENCE OF JOB.
A fanner and his wife, who had been to church one Sunday morning, were walking home through a country lane, when John said, "Excuse me, my dear, for a minute or two, I want to get over the hedge to do something for myself." After rather a long interval his loving wife, who had walked on a little, returned to look for him, and could hear her good man on the other side of the hedge, blasting, swearing, and damning at an awful rate. She managed to get over to him, and then seeing him stooping down as if troubled by a very hard motion, exclaimed, "John! John! how can you swear so, don't you remember what the parson said about the patience of Job?"
"Blast that damned Job," exclaimed the furious John, "he never had his balls caught in a rabbit trap! Why don't you make haste to help me?"
The poor fellow stooping down to ease himself, had really been caught, and his wife had to release him and help him home.