" 'If you please, sir,' I said, blushing, 'I'm Lady Bertha's maid, and bring a very important note from Lord St. Aldegonde.'
"He was a fine handsome fellow of about thirty-five, full of life and vigour in every limb; his eyes looked me through and through, then suddenly he penetrated my disguise, as he exclaimed, 'Ah, no, you're Lady Bertha herself, what is the cause of this mystery?'
"I was all confusion, but he told me to sit down and tell him without reserve what I wanted, as he drew to a sofa and seated himself by my side.
" 'Your vote and interest to secure my husband's return for the county,' I said in a low voice, 'we know you can turn the scale, so I ventured to solicit your influence in person.'
" 'But how can you expect me to be otherwise than hostile to a man who deprived me of your beautiful self,' he replied, 'why did you jilt me for a lordling?'
"I looked down in pretended distress, as I answered with an almost inaudible voice, 'If you only knew our family necessities, it would soothe your wounded self-respect, nothing but his dukedom in perspective sealed my fate against my own feeble will, and now it is my duty to further his interests in every way.'
" 'Dear Bertha,' he exclaimed excitedly, 'do I really hear right, would you have preferred me, can you not pity my unrequited love, won't you even favour me with a smile as I look in your face?' taking my hand and covering it with impassioned kisses. 'I would support your husband, but — but I must be bribed — let me think what you shall give me, dearest; of course he's had your first virginity, but I must have the second, it will cost him nothing, and no one need know.'
"He was growing quite impetuous; with one arm around my waist, whilst he covered my blushing face with the most ardent kisses, I could feel his other hand wandering over my bosom or my thighs, as he felt them through my dress, then taking one of my hands he forced me to feel his standing cock which he had let out of his breeches; the mere touch sent a thrill of desire through my whole frame as I sank backwards in an assumed faint.
"He jumped up, fastened the door, then went to a drawer, from which he took a small book and a little box, then kneeling down by my side he gently raised my clothes, kissing my legs all the way up, inside or outside of my drawers as he could get at them, and parting my thighs opened the slit in my drawers, till he had a fair view of my pussey. 'What a sweet little slit, what soft silky down it is ornamented with,' I could hear him say as he pressed his lips to my Mons Veneris, then I could feel his fingers parting the lips of my cunt with the greatest tenderness to enable him to kiss the little button of love. This was too much, I pressed his head down with my hands, as I spent over his tongue with a deep drawn sign of pleasure. 'She's mine, how she likes it, the touches of my tongue have made her cornel'
" 'Look, darling,' he continued, as he rose to his feet, 'I thought a few delicate kisses would revive you if properly bestowed in the most sensitive place, but I don't mean to have you there; this book will show you the most delightful avenue of bliss, and open up to your ravished senses heavenly bliss you have hither had no conception of,'
"Keeping my clothes up, and making me retain hold of his priapus in one hand, he showed me a series of splendid little drawings in the book, all illustrating the way to enjoy bottom-fucking. He could see I was tremendously excited, so lost no time in placing me on my hands and knees on the sofa, then anointing my tight little bum-hole with some ointment from the box, and putting some also on the shaft of his prick, he made me push my bottom well out behind, with my legs wide apart so as to give him every facility, but 'Ah! Ah! No, no, I can't bear it!' I exclaimed, the tears fairly starting to my eyes as I felt the first advance of his lovely engine, forcing its way through the tightened orifice; the pain was like a number of needles pricking the part all at once. I can describe the sensation as the sphincter muscle gradually relaxed in no other way. He frigged me deliciously in front all the while, pushing so firmly and getting in in such a gentle manner behind that I seemed to love him more and more every moment, and long for him to accomplish his task, and complete my enjoyment, as the very pain seemed a precursor to some extraordinary bliss, nor was I disappointed; the pain was soon succeeded by the most delicious sensations as his movements stirred me up to the highest pitch of excitement, and he never withdrew till we had spent thrice in rapturous ecstasies, screaming with delight and almost losing our lives from excess of enjoyment
"Thus my mission was successful, and his lordship became a Member of Parliament."
This tale had worked us all up, so that we were mutually groping each other's privates, and as soon as Bertha had finished we seized Fanny and Bridget, but too much of the same thing being rather tedious to read I will only say that John and Charles took their virginities in splendid style, when the girls really found no more nonsense would be tolerated.
This was my last adventure in town, and in the next part I shall go on to relate what happened after my marriage with Lord Crim-Con, which took place shortly afterwards.
(To be continued.)
AN ANSWER TO A QUEER QUESTION.
A few young sages one bright day
(Such conduct is not becoming)
Disputed, doth an old tale say,
Which is the prettiest part of women:
And this, the cause of the affray is.
Some said the cheeks, and some the eyes,
And so they sought the beauteous Lais,
And asked her to award the prize.
The lady said, perhaps displeased,
These thoughts I cannot understand.
If you could have them where you pleased,
I wonder where you'd put your hand?
'Twould be, you would see,
On their K. U. N. T.
SONG.
Translated from the Hindustani.
Oh when shall I behold, love,
Thy noble manly face?
O when thy neck enfold, love,
Within my close embrace?
All young, and warm, and willing,
O when shall I receive
Those raptures, fierce and thrilling,
Which man alone can give?
As the thirsty pearl shell opes, love,
To imbibe prolific showers,
All, all my bosom's hope, love,
Expect thy vigorous powers;
My dreams are full of pleasure,
Naught else my heart employs,
Come kiss me without measure,
Thou source of all my joys!
CAUTION TO LADIES.
A contributor wishes to remonstrate against the practice of a very nice young lady friend of his, who treats her quim as if it was a baby's arse. He says, "A nice cunt is a delicious thing to suck, but damn the violet powder, which dries up all the natural juiciness!"