The ABC's of Sex: Incest
Oscar Wilde once wrote: "Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them."
A study such as this work makes one realize that there is more truth than poetry in that statement. Many children, as they grow into their own adulthood, must find it difficult to even forgive their parents.
Elsa J. is one such person. Not yet fifteen, she has already given birth to two children the first when she was barely thirteen! As she tells her story, Elsa does not whine, nor does she alibi. The facts of her incestuous early years are quite evident; thus, her father and brothers must shoulder a great deal of the blame for her sex patterns.
The sexual escapades of the young always shock, but the average person does not seem to realize that a child who is not yet a teen-ager, nor fully developed sexually, can indulge in and enjoy the fullest of sex experiences. Elsa tells her story frankly, using the limited vocabulary of a child who never completed eighth grade.
She is a good example of the unlimited victims of a deterioration of family life: no love, no kindness or consideration, no cohesion in any effort, particularly that of guidance and discipline for the child.
"I was ten when my parents divorced. Because my mother was a compulsive, hopeless alcoholic, they gave custody of me to my father.
"Pop was all right – we got along, only I never saw too much of him. He worked two jobs to pay off the bills that Mom's drunkenness had caused.
"I don't blame Pop for anything. He had it tough. A year before the divorce, my big brother, Ed, was sent to reform school for stealing cars. He had stolen cars since he was thirteen, and this one night, he had been drinking, too he was only sixteen, then, but he drank with my Mom a lot. Anyhow, he hit an old man in a crosswalk while he was out joyriding, and they sent him to reform school.
"Pop never got anything out of my mother or brother, except grief and pain and worry. I used to feel sorry for him. I wanted to just put my arms around him and let him know that at least somebody cared about him, but I couldn't reach him. He was always so tired when he came home that, even if I was still awake, he didn't have energy enough to do much but eat, wash the dishes, straighten up the mess my drunken mother made, then get to bed.
"I doubt that he had any sex life with my mother for the last three or four years before the divorce, but I didn't really know anything about such things then.
"After the divorce, I remember a long series of baby-sitters. I guess I made a pest of myself, following them around, wanting to sit on their laps, and have stories read to me anything to get close to someone.
"I liked one of them a lot and he gave me a lot of loving. His name was Andy and he was our paper boy, Andy was about seventeen, I think. After the divorce, my father was able to make a go of it with just the one job, but he must have been pretty bitter and discouraged by then, because he began to go out almost every night and he drank a lot. I knew all about what drunks were like and I knew that Pop was drinking pretty heavily.
"But I had fun with Andy. I used to play card games with him 'Old Maid' and 'Hearts.' We used to play for kisses, but there was always more than that. While he kissed me, he would run his finger up inside my panties and inside my thing. He would suck my tongue and rub his finger around that little knob inside of me, and I would get all excited and want more – but I didn't know what it was that I wanted.
"Sometimes, we would play a game where the winner could say where he wanted to be kissed a certain part of his body and the loser had to do it. Andy used to name his prick, and I would kiss it just on the tip of it. Once, Andy told me to open my mouth and take it inside and suck it, and I did. But I guess my mouth was too small, because after I had sucked it a little I began to gag. He took it out and played with himself, right there in front of me, until he shot some white stuff into his hand. He wiped it on his handkerchief and then we didn't play any more games that night.
"Then Ed, my brother, came to live with us again, and Pop made him stay home and babysit a lot of times. I think Eddie was on parole, or whatever it is, because he had to go to the police once every week and tell them what he was doing. My father had to go with him.
"Ed was quiet. He used to sit for hours just watching TV. He didn't even say a word to me or seem to know that I was even around. I didn't know much about sex, but I figured that Ed was not much different than Andy, so I asked him if we could play games – for kisses on the body.
"At first he didn't know what I meant, so I told him about the games Andy and I had played, and he perked up and said we'd try it.
"I won the first game and said I wanted, him to kiss me between my legs. Ed looked at me sort of funny, but he took off my panties and I laid down on the floor and spread my legs. He got down on his stomach and looked at my thing, spreading it open with his fingers. He put one finger inside me and played with my knob. Then he got down and began to kiss my pussy! He reached down and unzipped his pants and took out his prick, and it was as big as Andy's.
"He stuck his tongue inside me and then grabbed my knob with his lips and sucked it awfully hard. I had never had anything quite this good from Andy, and after a minute or two, I had a wonderful, new feeling. It started inside my pussy, and just spread all over my body. It burned and tickled, but it felt wonderful. And I watched while Eddie jerked away at his prick and shot a load of stuff all over the carpet!
"I went to get a cloth to clean it up, and when I came back, Ed still had his prick in his hand, playing with it. It wasn't quite as stiff as it had been, but it was beginning to get that way again. He lifted up my dress and ran his finger inside my pussy, making me get 'hot' again. He asked, 'Did you ever kiss this Andy's pecker?"
I told him I had.
"He asked, 'Did you like it?' I told him it wasn't bad tasting, but that I had only taken the head of it in my mouth, that I had almost vomited when he tried to put it in too far.
" 'You want to do it for me?' Eddie asked. I was so happy that he was noticing me, and that he had made me feel so good when he had sucked my pussy, that I would have done anything he asked.
"I smiled at him and got down in a crouch so that I could take his thing in my mouth. I wanted to put it way down in my mouth, to make him feel real good. I guess I acted like a little glutton for pricks, because I used my tongue and teeth, and I rubbed the base of it with both my hands. I was surprised when he shot a load of sticky, salty juice into my mouth inside amp; minute. I thought it would take longer, and I was so surprised that I swallowed it.
"You're better than them cocksuckers up at Ft. Kane, Sis,' Eddie said, pulling my face up and giving me a rough kiss on the cheek. 'You and me are going to have some good times.'
"And we did. We did it a lot after that. We didn't even play any cards. Whenever we were alone, we'd start right off sucking and kissing. Once, Eddie tried to shove his cock up inside my cunt, but it hurt too much, and he stopped when I began to cry. Fused to play with his prick, and I could make him come that way, but he liked it best when I sucked it. And I liked it better when he kissed my cunt, too.
"Then Eddie got into trouble again, and I didn't see him again ever.
"Life was awfully lonely after that. Then Pop stopped going out and stayed home a lot more, but he drank an awful lot almost as much as my mother had. I didn't care. At least, there was somebody there with me. To tell the truth, though, I missed all the fun of playing with a-boy's cock and having him play with me and suck my pussy. I tried masturbating, but that was never much good for me. I began to wonder if Pop was like Andy and Eddie, whether he would like to play some games, and maybe kiss me and finger-fuck me, and let me suck his cock and play with it, like I had with them.
"I knew that both Andy and Eddie had liked to look at my little pussy, and I figured that Pop would, too. So, this one night, I got undressed in my room, and stood in front of the mirror. My breasts were beginning to take shape and I had a little fringe of hair starting under my arms and around my pussy. I noticed that my body was getting a little more like a woman's too. And as I looked at myself I got hot again. I wondered if my body, and all the love that was gathered inside me, could make my father want to caress and kiss me.
"Pop was sitting with his beer, watching TV. He wasn't drunk, but he wasn't exactly sober, either. It was hot and he was sitting there in just his shorts. I walked through the living room, pretending I was going into the kitchen for a drink of water. I was naked, and because the door was to one side of the TV set, I knew he would have to notice me.
"I walked slow and pretended to half turn and look at the TV screen. I could feel Pop's eyes on me and I went into the kitchen feeling real excited. I put the light on and got a drink of water. I heard him come to the kitchen door and I set the glass down and turned so that I was facing him squarely. I took a deep breath so that my breasts were shoved out high, with the tiny, pink nipples standing out straight. I spread my legs a little so he could see my pussy clearly. I just stood there, watching his eyes. I saw him ogling me from breasts to pussy, and I could see his prick, under his shorts, begin to get hard.
"He shook his head a little and said, 'God, you're growing up fast.'
"I decided to make my move. I ran my hands over my breasts and stomach, and walked over closer to him. Am I pretty, Pop?' I asked. He licked his lips and nodded. I saw that his prick was standing up real stiff and proud and I was sure I had him hooked.
"He reached out and felt my nipple, then he touched the other one. I moved in closer to him and reached out and grabbed his prick in my hand. I bent over and took the head of it in my mouth and began to suck it. For a second or two, Pop just stood there. I took more and more of his cock into my mouth, my head bobbing up and down faster and faster. Then Pop reached down and grabbed my hair and pulled my head up. I thought he was going to hit me, but instead, he took me up in his arms, so my feet were off the floor, and he began to kiss me, sticking his tongue in my mouth. He was holding me so that his prick was brushing against my cunt, and I began to get hotter than I already was as I felt it press hard against my crotch and stomach.
"Pop carried me into the bedroom his room and he stripped off his shorts and got on the bed with me. He pushed me back and began to kiss my breasts. I was wild with pleasure as he moved on down my body, licking my stomach, then sticking his tongue into my bellybutton. He was using one hand to rub my pussy and he began to massage my little knob with one finger. I heard myself saying, 'Suck me, suck me.' I sounded as if I were another person, my voice was so husky and anxious.
"Pop moved down and I spread my legs wide to receive his hot tongue inside my throbbing cunt. He began to lick hard. His tongue rubbed the lips of my pussy and then massaged my knob. He reached up with one hand and played with the nipple of my titty, pinching it and making it sting, but it was a delicious hurt. I began to buck my ass up in a rhythm that matched his thrusting tongue, and then the lightening burst inside me and spread over my whole body. Pop just kept on, and inside another minute, I had come again.
"I was lightheaded with the thrill of it. I crawled away and pushed Pop back on his back. I took his cock in my mouth, sucking it and washing it up and down the whole length of it with my tongue. I kept hold of it near the base and jerked it while I sucked it. Pop propped himself up on his elbows so he could watch me, and I got a real kick when I looked right into his eyes and saw how excited and happy I was making him.
"He shot a big, big load into my mouth. I wanted to show him how much I wanted to please him, so I swallowed it quickly and kept on sucking and jerking his cock.
"But he pulled me away and laid me back on the bed. He spread my legs wide and got on his knees. He took his cock in his hand. Then he looked into my eyes and asked, 'Have you been fucked, Elsa?' I told him the truth, that I had tried once, but I was too small. I babbled on and told him I wanted him to do it to me more than anything. I was going wild, seeing his prick poised near my open cunt, and I wanted him to fuck me and make me come.
"He eased the head of it in and it felt good. I jumped a little when he went deeper, but it felt wonderful when his hard prick rubbed along my knob. I moaned a little and he said, 'Does it hurt, baby?' I shook my head and said, 'Fuck me hard, Pop.'
Then he let himself go, ramming it as deep into my cunt as it could go. It hurt some, but I was so delirious with the pleasure of feeling it deep inside me that I didn't care. My body just seemed to blend in with Pop's, and we thrashed around on the bed in a tangle of sweaty flesh until I felt a flood of hot, wet jism shoot inside me. At that instant, I came. I could feel my knob jerking and bobbing, sending waves of pleasure all through me, I threw my arms around Pop's neck and kissed him, sticking my tongue in his mouth, moving it around and sucking his tongue.
"He kept on ramming and kept his hard-on. I was in a daze of delight. I'd had my first real fuck and it had been wonderful ten times better than having my cunt sucked or fingered. Even more important, I could have more, any time I wanted!
"Afterward, I told Pop about Andy and Eddie. He was angry at first, but when I convinced him that neither of them had really fucked me, he cooled off… 'I slept with him in his bed that night, and I sucked him off again after he had fucked me.
"I slept with Pop at least three times a week for the next two years! When I was thirteen, I began to have dates with other men. I never did go out with what you'd call a boy they were all older men. I began going steady with Roy. It caused an awful row with Pop because Roy was almost as old as he was. Pop threatened to kick me out. He had an awful fight with Roy over us seeing each other. Pop knew that Roy was fucking me, and I got mad and wouldn't let Pop have me anymore. Then I found out that I was pregnant. I was positive that it had to be by Roy, but there was an outside chance that it was Pop's baby. It shook Roy up and he wanted me to have an abortion when I told him I was pregnant. But Pop was dead set against it. He insisted that Roy marry me, but I didn't want to, nor did Roy.
"Things were bad for the next nine months. I had to drop out of school and Pop turned awfully mean. He drank more than ever and hardly talked to me. I tried to be good to him. I cooked all the meals and kept the house a lot neater than my mother ever had, but he was so ashamed that all he did was drink. He told me once, that if the baby was his, and turned out to be an idiot, that he'd kill himself. He had me worried that something would be wrong with the baby, and I began to lose weight and get nervous.
"But the baby was born dead. I will never know if it was Roy's or Pop's, but I'm positive that Dave is the father of my little boy, because I never went back home after I got out of the hospital.
"Dave goes to college. I guess he's a hippie, but he has a job. He wears crazy clothes, has long hair and a full, wild beard. I don't know if I love him, but I've been living with him for almost a year now. We talked it over, when I got pregnant, and decided that neither of us really wanted to be tied to a child. So I answered one of those ads in the paper where somebody pays all the hospital bills and gives you cash in return for them adopting the baby.
"I’m not just Dave's girl. He sleeps around a lot, too. Neither of us wants to get married. Maybe I'm a hippie, too, because I agree with Dave on his ideas about marriage and sex. I like variety. I don't know what I'll be doing tomorrow; I just live for today, doing what I want to do. I learned that from Dave, but it was buried deep inside me anyhow, and Dave just happened along to encourage me to be myself.
"I live in San Francisco now, and Dave and I share an apartment with two other couples. We switch off for sex sometimes, but we don't have what you'd call 'orgies;' we just do it privately. I don't have any feeling for the others they're just good sex partners. I don't feel bad about giving up my baby. I've got plenty of time left if I ever decide I want kids and marriage, but I doubt if I ever will, I work as a waitress and I chip in my money to help Dave. All of us pool our money for rent and food. It's not a bad life. When Dave graduates, I don't know what we'll do. We may stay together or split.
"I don't think I'm a freak,' as far as sex goes. I've talked about it with some other girls, and except that I'm a little younger than most of them, I’m not so different. Several of the girls I know have told me that they had their first sex with either their brother, father or an uncle. So I don't feel I'm a weirdo just because I had sex with my brother, and my first real fuck from my father.
"I to pretty content, sometimes even happy. And, after all, that's the name of the game isn't it?"
On the flip side of the coin, incest may sometimes involve rape at least statutory rape. Those inclined to be lenient may refer to such instances as seduction. We present here the narration of Phyllis L.
"You're a writer. That's why I'm telling you this. Maybe you can tell others that even if she becomes a whore it isn't always a girl's fault. It certainly wasn't mine. My father was to blame the sonofabitch! I don't want to be emotional, but it's hard not to be.
"I was home alone with my father this one night. My mother was in the hospital and I was feeling so alone. I guessed I sensed that my mother was dying and I needed someone someone to just hold me and love me…
"I didn't realize it at the time, but my father didn't love my mother. Maybe he never did. He was unconcerned because she was so sick. He hadn't even taken me to the hospital to visit her that night. But I wasn't thinking of those things then, I just felt awfully alone.
"My father was laying on the couch, watching TV. I'd been in bed for a couple of hours, but I couldn't sleep. I just wanted to be with somebody just to feel that I wasn't alone. My father had been drinking pretty steadily all evening beer he always drank beer. I got out of bed and peeked into the front room. He was half-asleep, propped up on one elbow, but groggy. I just had to be near someone. He and I had never been really close, I suppose. At least, if he loved me he never showed it outwardly. He never kissed me. I got the idea that he had wanted a boy, and was disappointed in me though he never said so. But he was all I had, so I went out and cuddled up to him on the couch.
"He was in his underwear a skivvy shirt and boxer shorts. I could see his soft prick through the front slit in his shorts. I didn't think much of it, but I had on a 'shortie' nightgown. There were no panties to it, so if I made certain moves, it showed my bare ass and my pussy.
"When I snuggled up to him, I was facing him. He sat up and looked down at me. My nightie.was up and he could see my naked pussy. I still didn't think anything of it. I just put my head in his lap and turned to watch TV. I was aware of feeling his prick beneath my cheek, and after a couple of minutes I could feel it getting hard. It bobbed up against my face and I began to get a funny, hot feeling between my legs.
"Then I felt Daddy's hand rubbing my back. He moved down quickly to my ass, and his fingers began to stray up the crack between my asscheeks, touching my asshole once in awhile. I have to admit, it worked me up. I began to move my face around so it rubbed against his hard cock, and he ran his fingers under my asshole and touched the lips of my pussy.
"I moved my head some more and I could see his cock sticking up straight in front of me. I could see the hair around it. The big, purple head of it was about an inch from my mouth.
"I knew a little about sex, and I knew this was all wrong, but I was fascinated by the closeness of his prick, and the way he was making me tingle with his hands in my pussy. I started to get up, saying I had to go to the bathroom, but he held me down. Then he reached around in front and put his finger right up inside my cunt. I jumped, half-scared, half-thrilled, but before I could really move, he shoved my face down so that my lips touched the head of his prick. I was afraid to put it in my mouth, but I was afraid not to. I thought he'd beat me. Once in a great while, I'd seen him beat my mother with his fists, and I didn't want any of that.
"His finger was going deeper and deeper into my cunt, and I began to move my body to help him hit the right spots. Before I knew what I was doing, I put my lips around the head of his prick and began to suck. The deeper it went into my mouth, the hotter I got. I rolled over so that I could hold the shaft in my hand and sink it into my mouth. He moved his hand so that he had his thumb up my asshole and his finger up my cunt. Then he wiggled them and dug his nails into me. It started to make me dizzy I I mean it! I was almost in a daze from the excitement he was driving through my body. I felt his prick throbbing and jerking, and I let it go deeper into my mouth, sucking hard on it.
"As I felt a big surge of hot, salty jism shoot into my mouth, I had a wild, crazy feeling spread all over me, starting at my cunt. I knew I'd come, and I loved it. I didn't care if it was my father it was thrilling.
"I hardly remember him getting up and laying me down on my back. He took his shorts off, and his prick was as big and as hard as ever. I spread my legs wide. I wanted that hot, wet cock between my legs. I wanted to come again. I wanted his prick to make me come!
"When he shoved his cock into my pussy, I thought I'd faint from the pain. I didn't want to cry, but I had to. I began to cry and beg him to stop, but he wouldn't. He was panting and making funny noises. He didn't even know that it was his daughter that he was fucking!
"The deeper into my cunt he went, the more I adjusted to it, the more I warmed up the more excited I got. In a minute, I was bucking and bobbing, pushing my cunt and hips up to meet his lunges. When he shot into me he collapsed with a big groan, but he still kept pumping. I had the wildest come you could imagine.
"He came to life quickly and he wiggled his prick around inside me until it got hard again, he reached up with one hand and dug his nails into the nipple of my breast. My titties were pretty full not big, but round and up-tilted. And when he dug his nails in, it shot a thrill all through me. He moved his head down and nibbled and bit at my nipple, making me hotter and hotter. He just kept on moving down with his mouth, his prick slipping out of my cunt. He nipped at my stomach, stuck his tongue into my bellybutton, then made a big dive at my cunt!
"He bit and sucked, then he shoved at least three fingers up into my cunt deep. He dug in with his nails, and before I knew what was happening, I came again!
"This drove him wild. He rolled me over on my stomach and mounted me from the back. He drove his cock up into my asshole and I screamed in pain. It was as if he didn't even hear me. He just rammed that fat, stiff prick in and out of my tender asshole while I screamed and cried for him to stop!
"He stopped after I felt the warm flood of his come in my asshole. Then he collapsed again, kissing my neck and back, his flabby prick still in my asshole. I guess I hated him, but at the same time, I loved him sexually as a man. I wanted him to put that cock into my cunt again and make up for all the pain he'd given me when he had fucked me in the asshole.
"I moved away and managed to roll so that I was lying beside him, facing him. He was crying, but I didn't care. The part of me that was hating him said: 'come on, you big fucker it's my turn.'
"I played with his prick a little and it got hard again. I arched my leg up over his ass and he fitted his stiff cock into my wet, hot, throbbing and hungry pussy. He put both hands around my ass cheeks, pulling me into the rhythm of his lunges. This time we came right on the dot! I couldn't help but grab his head and kiss him, sticking my tongue deep into his mouth.
"We had a week of that, night after night even on the night that my mother died.
"My brother, Joe, was in service in South Carolina, and he got a leave to come home for the funeral. The day they buried my mother, I got that same lost, lonesome feeling, and it got worse when my father got drunk and didn't come home.
"My brother never did get along with my Dad and he was mad as hell at the way my father folded up. Because of the big difference in our ages Joe was eighteen and I was eleven I felt like I was with a stranger. But he was nice. He must have known how lonely and lost I was, without either Mom or Daddy, and he held me in his arms when I got ready for bed.
"I had that same funny feeling when I felt his prick getting hard. He was in his pajamas and he was laying on my bed beside me, I looked down and saw his big prick and I just couldn't keep my hand off it. I grabbed it and began to jerk it and he seemed to like it. His hand moved to my pussy and he began to run his fingers along the lips of my cunt. I got so excited I began to push my cunt closer, wiggling my hips to get his fingers inside me. He massaged my clit and then I grabbed his head and pulled his mouth down to mine, I stuck my tongue into his mouth and I could feel his cock getting bigger and harder a lot bigger than my daddy's and I wanted to feel it inside me!
"I begged: 'Oh, Joe fuck me. Fuck me wild and hard F He didn't say a word. He just laid me back on my bed, spread my legs and opened my cunt wide open. It was already wet and hot and slippery, and when Joe put the head of it in I felt like I wanted to swallow it with my cunt! Joe was different than my father. He was gentle, tender but he shoved his big cock deep into my cunt and sent me into a wild sort of heaven. All the while his arms held me close. He kissed my eyes and my hair and forehead, finally kissing me on the mouth, sticking his tongue in deep not hard or rough but soft, demanding asking every bit of love Iliad to give.
"And I gave it. I'm not sorry. Joe is dead now. I'm glad we had that one time to remember. I hope he remembered, at the last.
"We only did it once. Joe had to leave, and after a two-day drunk, my Dad came home. We started right where we'd left off fucking and sucking, wrestling and biting.
"Dad began to drink heavily. He would stay away from the house for days at a time. Finally, they caught up with him and came and took me to a juvenile home. I don't think anyone knows, to this day, about him and me – or about Joe and me. But they decided that he wasn't a fit father he'd lost his job through drinking and here I am.
"I don't know about other men, but when I'm out on my own, I'm going to swing, man. Joe left his G.I. insurance to me, and I don't have to live on welfare, or peddle my ass to live. I don't know where my father is, and frankly, I don't give one good goddamn! He was a rotten bastard. Joe was different because I asked for it from him. Maybe I feel different about him because he's dead, but well, Joe was different. It meant something to him. It wasn't incest, and it wasn't because he'd been away from women too long. It would have happened anywhere, anytime and I'm glad it did!"