The Homosexual Pro
"Hell are you kiddin'? My brothers and sisters played with my dick from the time I was real little. I guess I was hardly walkin’ before my brothers had me tryin' to stick it in some girl. I wasn't even seven when my older brothers screwed me in the rear… "
This was part of the response of Jack K. when asked if he remembered his first sexual experience.
Psychiatrists point out that the sexual life of an individual begins almost at birth. The tissue involved in the sex organ is responsive from the beginning and the child learns early, by trial and error, that pleasure from manipulation is possible.
The first form of sexual activity is known as infantile auto-erotic behavior. A noted psychiatrist states, "Studies show that auto-erotic responses are by no means abnormal, but occur frequently even in very young children." Such behavior, however, is much more common in the male than in the female, primarily because of the availability and convenience of the male organ. "From about one to six years it is frequently indulged in by children of both sexes. From six to adolescence there tends to be less of it than before, but at adolescence it reappears together with a more direct interest in sexual expression generally."
The reason we note this statement is to show that children not only are capable of sexuality in their early years, as Jackie was, but are almost anxious for the opportunity to participate through auto-erotic behavior initially and later with other humans. It is commonly agreed upon in psychiatry that early sexual experiences will affect the individual's later life. Early background factors tend to show why Jack became, at age twelve, a professional homosexual prostitute, selling his sexual favors and prostituting his young body for older men who were happy to pay him for what, to Jack, was very natural and pleasurable sexual behavior. We see, too, that much of it has more to do with the psychological makeup of the child than with his physical being.
Continuing with Jackie's revelation to the psychiatrist:
"Hell, I knew what a cock was for before I could even walk. I was even in bed sometimes when my old lady was screwin' one of her boyfriends.
This is understandable, for Jack's mother was an uneducated, almost illiterate woman, who had lived in near poverty all her life. She was from a Southern sharecropper's large brood, and at age thirteen, had run away from home in the company of a thirty-eight-year-old sexpot who, at the same time, was deserting a large family of his own.
"He dumped Jack's mother when she became pregnant, and this child was the first of six that she would bear all out of wedlock. Jack was the second youngest of a family of four boys and two girls. None of them knew their father, so all adopted the promiscuous mother's maiden name.
When she felt lonely, Jack's mother went to a bar. She drank heavily, but her big hangup was sex, not alcohol. She was almost a nymphomaniac, and at the bar, she would take home the first man who made an offer. Sometimes it was just for a night, but often the man stayed on until either he, or Jack's mother, grew tired of the situation. Few, if any of them, ever worked or contributed anything to the welfare of the children. For all his life, Jack knew nothing but a "welfare" existence.
The woman and her ragtag brood eventually ended up in Los Angeles where they lived in a cheap "welfare walk-up." It consisted on one bedroom, a combination kitchen-living room, and a bathroom with inadequate plumbing. Because of the cramped quarters and the low morality of the adults in the house, the children observed sexual relations and heard sexual conversations. They were, in other words, versed early in the facts of life. Little wonder that Jack knew "what a cock was" before he could talk plainly.
Asked about his childhood sexual activities, Jack said, "Hell, in that neighborhood everybody was pretty much alike, so we did the same things and it was what we wanted. When my brothers were eight and nine, I used to watch them taking the neighbor girls' pants down and stickin' their little dicks into them. I guess we tried just about everything. We used to jack each other off even before we could come, and fuck each other in the ass. We even screwed our own sisters. The thing was, nobody said anything I mean, nobody ever went crying to their old ladies or old men. If they did, they got the shit kicked out of them. Besides, their old ladies and old men were fuckin' around so much themselves they couldn't have said nothin'. It was the same at all the other kids' houses. You know, women with kids livin' with a guy awhile, then switchin' to another. You might call a guy 'daddy' for awhile, but you knew he wasn't going to stay around long just until he got tired of fuckin' your old lady and eatin' free grub drinkin' free beer and booze.
"Most of the guys that shacked with my old lady were pricks, anyway. All they wanted was steady screwing and the old lady support!n' them off her welfare money. The old ladies never looked at it that way, but they were really buyin' their meat."
Jackie went on:
"Like I told you, I had sex all around me when I was young, so I couldn't just put my finger on the first sex. But I do remember one of the first times. I was almost ten, and I was selling papers to try to get some money. Even then I just dreamed of gettin' away from there. There was this place like a rooming house, and an old guy that lived there. When I went in to sell him a paper, he invited me into his room. He bought a paper. Next night he invited me in again, and he said if I'd stay to talk a little while, he'd buy all my papers. What he meant was, he ended up by takin' my pants down and sucking my dick. From then on, I just went there. He'd pay me for my papers every day and then suck my cock.
"I didn't see anything wrong with it. If a guy wanted to suck my prick, it didn't hurt me none and I got the money. But I didn't do it to him. He used to jerk off though, and he'd shoot a big load of jism into his hand, then go into the bathroom and wash it off, I couldn't come yet, but I sure got a good feeling when he sucked mine. The old guy used to just suck my cock and work my little nuts around with his hand until he got tired. Then he'd jerk off. A couple of times, he offered me an extra half-dollar to jerk his cock, but I never did until he came."
The important part of this event to Jackie, was that he discovered that he could earn money by participating in a sexual affair. In his later life that was to have two meanings. It meant he could get money from a man and demand obedience or whatever he wanted from a woman. He had subconsciously been given the idea that his sex his penis was valuable. Fate was on his side by providing him with a good body, a handsome face, and a penis that was somewhat larger than average and therefore interesting to others.
But even more important is the fact that, because of the moral atmosphere in which he had been raised, he had been able to enter into a homosexual relationship with no hesitation nor did it seem important enough to mention it to any member of his family. He had been taught to view homosexuality as something quite normal and inoffensive. Had he been taught differently, he might have entered adulthood as a normally healthy heterosexual, for Jackie did have experiences with girls.
"I played with little girls even when I was a little kid I mean, I stuck my fingers up their twats. Then later, I'd pinch their titties and sometimes kiss 'em and bite the nipples. I guess I really had my cock in a little girl when I was about nine, but I couldn't come then. The first time I remember shooting a load into a girl was when I was thirteen but that was after I'd become almost totally queer for men. I guess I tried this girl because she made fun of me. She called me a cocksucker and a 'sissy-boy,' so I hit her a good one, got her on the grass, ripped off her pants, and shoved my cock into her cunt. I had to jerk it a little at first to get it good and stiff, but when I pushed it into her, I didn't get a lot of bangs out of it. I came, but it wasn't so hot.
"By that time, I found out that I could make money with my cock. I saved it up, and when I was twelve, I cut out. I hitchhiked my way to San Francisco by lettin' guys suck me off. It was then that I decided to really 'earn my way' as a cocksucker.
"My first shot at it came when this guy started fartin' around and rubbing my cock. He pulled his car off the road and took it out and jerked it some, then he went down on me. He acted like he was starved for it, and he kept moanin' about what a sweet, baby cock I had. I could shoot a good load by then, and this guy really got to me. He kept on suckin' until I'd come the second time. He begged me to go to a motel with him, and he gave me ten bucks! I'd never seen that much dough all at once. I'd have stayed a week with him for that, and done anything he wanted me to.
"We drove until we came to a cheap motel and we got a room. He was a silly bastard. He thought that I was a dum-dum, that I was 'cherry,' as far as ass-fucking and sucking went. Hell, I'd been doing it all since before I could really remember. This guy was a soft touch, in a way. He'd already crossed my palm, you know, but when we got inside the motel, he acted as if he was the one that was a kid, instead of me. He horsed around, making silly remarks like: 'It's pretty hot. You want to take a shower? I think I'll strip and shower. Why don't you get undressed and cool off?' Hell, he'd already settled it when he asked me if I'd go to a motel with him. I knew the score. But I learned a lot from him about a hot ass and a hot mouth, and I remembered it later, believe you me.
"And I played his game. Hell, I figured he had a fat wallet I'd seen it before and I might get another ten or so from him. So I undressed and watched him as he took his clothes off. He was shaking, he was so hot to gobble and ass-fuck. I walked over and pretended to be awed by his prick. I took it in my hand and fondled it a little, and he began to get a good hard on. To tease him some more, I bent and licked the head of it. He was circumcised, and I ran my tongue, then my lips, around the rim of the head of his cock. He tried to grab my neck and shove my mouth down farther, but I knew I had him now, so I closed my teeth, drew away and went into the shower and turned it on. I was all lathered up when he stepped in with me. To me, a shower is a big treat, even to this day, after that goddamned firetrap we lived in. It had a bathtub, but half the time it plugged up, and it always smelled like a shithouse and that's no joke.
"When this guy got into the shower with me, he grabbed the soap and lathered his hands good, then he began to lather my prick and my ass-crack, running his finger up my asshole every other pass or so. I got a pretty good hard-on, and he rinsed it off and went down on me. He sucked me until I came good, and then he turned me around and just lathered my asshole and his prick with slippery soap. He shut off the shower and told me to bend over. I'd had a couple of guys try to put their cocks up my asshole, but it hadn't worked. But they hadn't had anything to oil it up, like that soap did. I bent over and braced myself against the wall and the guy put his hands on my hips after he positioned the head of his prick into my asshole, and then he just began to slip it in. It didn't hurt at all just made me feel like I had to take a good shit and after a bit, it began to feel good.
"He kept on going, deeper and deeper into my asshole, and all the while he kept mumbling about what a 'sweet baby' I was, and all that crap.
"When he came, I got a sort of a kick out of it. I don't know why, but it made me feel good like I was a grown man.
"He washed his cock off and I could see little traces of shit on the white wash cloth. I had a funny tingle up inside my asshole, but it wasn't hurting. I had liked the way he had gobbled my prick. He took it way down his throat, it seemed, with a sucking, inhaling motion and I had a good come.
"We dried off and went out on the bed, and he began to play with my cock again. I got hard and I played with his and he got a real good stiff on. I guess I really wanted to feel his nice, big prick in my mouth, so I just went down on it without him even asking me. It felt good when I felt him shiver and jerk every time I plunged my mouth down over his cock. I speeded it up with the sucking and tonguing and just at the end, he rolled me over so he was straddling my face. He plunged it in so deep that I gagged, but I hung on, and when he shot a good load of juice into my mouth, I swallowed it and kept on sucking.
"He got off and went into the bathroom. He came out with a bar of soap atid rubbed my cock and his asshole good. Then he got on his knees on the bed and told me to fuck him in the ass! Hell! All this fun, and he was paying me for it! I'd tried to ass-fuck a couple of guys, but it had hurt because their assholes were too dry. But this was different. My little cock slipped inside his asshole easily, and it felt good to feel the friction on all sides. I got into the rhythm of it real good, and he helped, humping his ass and moving around from side to side.
"I came real good, and after that, we had one more session, laying side by side, so we could suck each other's cock at the same time. That was a good one, too.
"I slept like a log, and next morning he gave me another ten bucks and took me to the city he was going to. It was about one hundred miles from San Francisco, and he wanted to make a date with me when I came back. He gave me-his address and phone number and told me to get in touch anytime I wanted to make another twenty bucks. But I never saw him again."
The psychiatrist whom Jack consulted later, again emphasized the significant effect of this, his first "commercial" engagement in homosexuality. To Jack, with his sordid background, it looked like a "soft touch," and for the next four years this boy made his living as a professional homosexual prostitute.
"It was easy in San Francisco," Jack boasted. "I knew I didn't have to go hungry or be poor again as long as I knew how to suck cocks and bend over so guys could cornhole me. I don't know if I really liked it, but it sure seemed an easy way and a hell of a lot better way than I'd known to stay alive and have some fun and eat good.
"I took a job in a gymnasium. I was big for my age and the guy that run the place was as queer as a three-dollar-bill, so there was no problem. He had a place on the top floor of the building where the gym was, and after we had nicked and sucked each other, he asked me if I wanted to really make some dough.
"It turned out that there were a lot of businessmen that came into the joint it had steam baths, massages, a swimming pool all that jazz and he told me that a lot of the old boys that were regular customers would pay ten or twenty a throw for a good ass-fucking or a blow job.
"I went along with it, knowing in the back of my mind that I wasn't going to stay a 'towel boy' very long. I'd seen enough of hard-up old guys to know that I could latch onto a sugar-man who'd pay the freight for as far as I wanted to go. And I was right. I'd been at the gym for about two months when I met Mel.
"We had a regular routine worked out with the steady customers. If they wanted me, for instance, they would just.say they wanted a 'youth treatment.' If they wanted one of the other guys there there were three other cock-suckers and ass-fuckers beside me each of them had a certain code name, and each of us had a certain room that could be locked from the inside.
"A few of the guys were a little weird. Like one old guy who used to like to suck and fuck in the steam room, and another guy that liked to get me in the pool and cornhole me while we were under water. They always paid extra, so I did most anything they wanted.
"I lived with Merkle, the owner, for the first couple of weeks. Then I moved in with a guy named Shad. He was about twenty-two, and he worked there. He was a 'muscle nut’ who was always lifting weights and that stuff. He was popular with a lot of the younger guys. Shad was a real homo 'queen' and he hung around a gay bar where he was a real bigshot. Everybody knew he was a pro during the day, and most of his friends considered it a real honor when Shad would give them a play.
"When I moved in with him, he became more popular than ever, because I got right into the swing of things except I couldn't go to the bar with him. The owner was a queer, but he kept a straight place as far as liquor rules, age limits, and especially the 'no-soliciting' rule went. Shad told me that the cops were always nosing around the place, but the owner made sure that all the gay guys behaved. What they did among themselves was all right, though.
"Shad used to bring them up to the place, and I liked them a lot better than the old guys I met at the gym. They were younger and happier. They could laugh and joke, whereas all the customers at the place were sour and strictly out to get their rocks off without ever smiling or having any fun out of it. Just sex.
"Sometimes, one of the guys would give me some money, like if he brought in a new guy that wasn't one of the regulars, and the guy wanted some 'young stuff.' I'd become a sort of a specialist at sucking guys off, although a lot of guys still liked my ass for fucking. Shad taught me a lot about how to really suck a guy off, using your hands and your tongue and your teeth, to give it an extra kick. I learned how to make a lot of guys last longer before they came, too, and I became a favorite with all the guys that hung around Shad.
"Then I hooked up with Ray. He was a television cameraman. He had a nice place down in Hollywood where he worked, and he went for me right away. Homos all have connections in any city they go to, and Ray knew Shad, and when he would come to San Francisco, he would date Shad and some of the other guys that hung out at the bar.
"Shad brought him to our place and I think that this was the first time a homo ever 'made love to me.' I mean, Ray really turned it on. He necked with me for an hour before he sucked my cock. He kissed my body all over and he tongued my asshole until I almost got mad at him for holding off so long with my come. But when I did, finally, boy it was the best.
"He worked me hard again, then had me mount him. He had an asshole that was easy to slide into, but tight when you got your cock in, and he was the best ass-fuck I'd ever had. When I shot up his ass, I was hot to really please him. I gave him the most special suck job I knew how to. I tried to make it last, like he had, by building him up, then stopping at the last second, and kissing his balls and asshole some more, sucking on his nipples, running my fingers over his back, using my fingernails. When I gave the final sucks, I had a good six inches of his prick down my throat and it felt good when he unloaded his hot juice into my mouth. I swallowed it and kept tonguing and sucking his lovely cock until it got nice and hard again.
Then I got up on my knees and shoved it in my ass. He used some vaseline, and I was so eager to give him a good fuck that I tried to move my hips and legs so that he could get it all up inside me. He must have because I could feel his balls slapping against my crotch every time he lunged in. But he was easy with me, and he kept talking to me all the time, telling me how wonderful I was, and that he'd fallen in love with me, and never wanted to lose me.
"After he came, we just laid there on the bed, kissing each other on the mouth, playing with each other's pricks. When we both got all hot and hard again, I turned around facing Ray, and we sucked each other off. It was beautiful the way we just seemed to sense what the other wanted, and we came in each other's mouth at exactly the same time.
"I hated to leave Shad, but I guess I'd kind of fallen in love with Ray, too. So when he begged me to go to Los Angeles and live with him, I did.
"Ray was awful good to me, and I didn't find out until almost a year later that he swung both ways. He made a lot of female friends in the TV business, and when he'‹d tell me that he had a date with one of them, I thought he was just putting on a front. I didn't know then how many of the TV and movie people are either homos or lesbians, or go both ways, like Ray. But I went to a movie one night, and when I came home, there was Ray in bed with this girl.
"That was my first three-way deal with a girl in it. I had had some orgies in San Francisco, but it was always with a bunch of guys.
"It wasn't bad 'at all, because this girl I think her name was Ann went the whole route. She fucked, sucked, and let Ray and I fuck her in the ass. I got kind of hooked on her, and Ray seemed kind of pleased, because he brought her home a lot after that. Later on, another couple and a guy used to come over often, and we'd really have a ball.
"I lived with Ray until I was seventeen, and in a way, we loved each other. But it began to wear thin, and I liked to do it both ways with women as well as guys more and more. I actually liked fucking a cunt a lot more than I thought I would. And when I started going with this one girl pretty steady, Ray and I had a big, nasty fight, and he tossed me out. I didn't have any money and the only thing I could do was to move in with this girl.
"She didn't have much dough, either. She was trying to get into movies or TV and was working as a cocktail waitress in some club. I looked about nineteen, but Terri was scared to take a chance of me going to the club, although I drank pretty good at home. She was twenty-five, and she used to be good to me and bring home all her tips and her salary. But she had to go out days and make the rounds of the casting offices and a few casting couches, I guess and she had to dress real nice, so there wasn't much money.
"I'd made a lot of contacts through Ray, so I began to pick up on some of the homos that I knew had a little money. I began to sell it. I have never met a man I ever fell in love with, other than Ray, so I used to just come right out and tell a guy who was making a pass that it would cost him.
"Then Terri began to get a little nasty. She didn't like me being a prostitute. Besides, I was keeping all the dough for myself. I wanted to get a place of my own, where I wouldn't feel tied down. I told her that was how it was going to be if I wanted to go out, to suck or fuck, for money or for the hell of it she had nothing to say about it.
"She begged me to give up homo activities. She said she couldn't understand me, because she was young, beautiful, and that whatever a 'queer' could offer, she could always go him one better she had a mouth, an asshole, and a cunt. That was another thing that used to get me mad she always used the word 'queer.’
"I screwed her a lot, but it wasn't enough for her. I suppose she was getting some on the side, but it didn't matter to me, as long as she left me alone. We began to fight pretty good, and I couldn't make her understand that I wasn't having 'affairs’ as she called them, with guys. I was just sucking them off and letting them ass-fuck me for money!
"Anyhow, we both started to drink pretty good. And one night, she brought this guy home with her some goddamned pantywaist that was married, and who had conned her into believing he could get her some TV roles. I was pissed off that she'd go that far, but that wasn't the half of it! She'd told this sonofa-bitch that we'd have a three-way deal! That I'd suck his cock and let him ass-fuck me!
"That tore it. I beat the livin' shit out of her, and when he got into it, I kicked hell out of him, too. I put him in the hospital and the bastard had me arrested. He said in court that Terri had coaxed him to her place, and then set him up so I could blackmail him. It sounded pretty good to the judge, I guess, because Terri got ninety days in the county jail for prostitution and conspiracy, while they sent me to reform school because I was a juvenile.
"I stayed there for over three years until I was twenty-one. It wasn't too bad. I found the routine to do 'easy time' right away and I still got paid off for sucking cocks! Not in money, much, but in soft assignments, cigarettes, booze, free time you know and it wasn't too bad.
"When I got out, I needed dough. I contacted Ray and he fixed me up with a pad, and I went straight, flat-assed 'whore.' Ray got me a job in a TV station not much, but it was something, anyhow. Between working and sucking cocks, I lived pretty good."
So Jack, because of his early childhood and sexual experiences, became a piece of human driftwood at the young age of twenty-one.
He married and fathered a child, but it didn't work. He continued his homosexual and heterosexual activities without letup, seemingly unable to give up either sexual drive. Throughout his two year marriage, he continued to be a homosexual whore.
Now, at age twenty-six, he is in the second year of psychiatric therapy. He is slowly becoming aware of the reasons for his behavior, and reports indicate that he is well on the way to fulfilling his own needs for a normal and fruitful life.