It was almost one o'clock in the morning, but Stacey Jones could not sleep. She sat woodenly in the living room of the apartment she shared with her brother, wondering what had become of him. What if he didn't come home? What if he no longer wanted to go on the vacation they had planned? What would she say to Birdie and Bill Wilson when they came for them in the morning?
She felt a little bit silly. Kurt had wanted to make love to her, and she had refused him in a terribly juvenile way. After all, she had to admit to herself, when the time had come she actually wanted it almost as much as he did. She had barely been able to restrain herself from giving him all the sexual love she had been holding back for so long. She was twenty years old now, no longer a little girl, and there was no man on earth that she loved as much as she loved Kurt. She was living with him, they shared everything! He didn't have a girl friend or any special woman. And she didn't have a man friend that she would even consider making love to. Was she going to remain a virgin all her life?
Arid she had hurt Kurt's feelings, that was for sure. It wasn't like him to just leave the house without saying anything, and then to stay out as late as this without calling her to let her know he was all right. He loved her, and she had made him feel like a beast for trying to express his love in a physical way. What was she going to do? How could she make it up to him? Was she going to have to go all the way with her own big brother in order to keep things happy?
As the hour grew later Stacey grew more and more worried. Finally, she made up her mind. Kurt was the most important person in the world to her, and she promised herself solemnly that if he would just come home, if he would just give her a chance, she would make it all up to him. She would do anything she had to do in order for him to be happy! That was all there was to it. Once again, tears began to flow from her eyes, but these were not tears of anger.
"Oh, Kurt! Kurt!" she sobbed to the empty walls of their apartment. "Come home, Kurt! I'm sorry!" For.the first time since her parents had flied, Stacey felt she was losing her security, losing everything she needed in life to feel happy.
Kurt could hear her bawling even before he put his key in the lock of their apartment door. Damn! he thought to himself. Why did I have to make her feel so bad? As quickly as he could, he opened the door and in three strides he was sitting next to her on the couch, pulling her tear-stained face to his shoulder, enfolding her sweet, tender blonde head in his protective arms, patting her reassuringly on the back.
"Oh, Kurt, I'm so sorry!" she wailed. "I've been such a fool!"
"It's all right, Stacey," he reassured her. "I love you, honey. It doesn't matter. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
"But I love you, Kurt!" she protested, her voice muffled in the material of his shirt. "I want you to be happy. You don't have a woman to make love to! I want to give you what you need!"
Bill and Birdie were right! thought Kurt in a sudden joyous flash. She wants it as much as I do!
"Calm down, little sister," Kurt crooned now, patting her slowly and rocking his body slightly. "Don't cry anymore."
Her rhythmic sobbing began to slow down, and finally she was quiet. Every few moment she would sniffle slightly, but she was totally relaxed in her brother's arms as he held her on their living room sofa.
"Did you get packed for the trip, honey?" he finally asked her, pulling her head up to look into her eyes. "We're going to leave bright and early in the morning, you know."
"Y-yes, Kurt," she answered, rubbing the last vestiges of tears out of hex eyes and smiling now at him. "I didn't know if you would still want to go or not, but I packed all our things anyway, just in case."
"Of course I still want to go, honey!" Kurt laughed down at her cheerfully. "Who would want to miss a beautiful trip like that? And you know what else? We're going to have the place all to ourselves for the first day. Birdie has to work tomorrow at the hospital; so she and Bill are going to come up in the evening. Won't that be nice?"
"I-I guess so, Kurt. I mean… do you think…"
"We'll see, baby. Let's not think about all that stuff right now. Let's just be glad that we're together and that we've got each other, all right? Come on now, I'll tuck you into your bed and you try to get a good rest for the morning."
Stacey was on cloud nine now. Kurt still loved her; everything was going to be all right. She was looking forward to their day alone in the mountains with almost equal amount of dread and happy anticipation. Glowing inside, she still felt a panicky feeling fluttering in her stomach. Was he going to. try to make love to her again? How should she react if he did?
And then, inside her heart, she made a final decision. No matter what happened, no matter how she felt about it or how afraid she was, if Kurt wanted to make love to her she would go along with it. He was that important to her, and she wanted him to be happy, it was just that simple. It was like a solemn vow.
But Kurt didn't try anything that night. He led her into her room, helped her to undress, put her in her bed like a little girl. He pulled the covers up over her warm body and tucked them in around her neck. Then he bent down quickly in the darkened bedroom and gave her a little, ultimately loving and tender kiss on her forehead before he tiptoed out of the room and closed the door silently behind him.
Stacey sighed deeply and curled up under the covers, almost asleep already. I have the most wonderful brother in the whole wide world! she thought before she felt herself falling down a long, dark bottomless tunnel of sleep.