"You what?" said Cecil's mother, a startled expression on her face as she stared at her son.
Cecil took a deep breath, then said it over again. "I want to go to a commercial school at night, so I can take a secretarial job when I finish high school."
"You mean stenography?" Joanne's face was horrified, "Shorthand, typing all that?"
"Yes," said Cecil, "that's what I want."
"But that's a girl's job!" Joanne protested. "You can't take a girl's job."
"I’ll find a job," Cecil muttered.
Joanne gave a sigh of exasperation. 'That's not what I mean!" She took a deep breath: "You've always done well at school " she lowered her voice and her eyes at the same time, "that's one thing I’ve been pleased with you about " she looked up, "and there's no reason why you can't get a really good job when you graduate."
"I want to go to commercial school," Cecil's voice was low. He stared at his mother: "You don't have to pay for me I can borrow the money."
"I wasn't thinking of that," she snapped, then her shoulders sagged and she sighed heavily: "Oh, Cecil!"
He let his eyes drop to the floor, feeling uncomfortable, unwanted very conscious of the chasm between them. He rose to his feet, slouched towards the door without looking at his mother. At the doorway, he paused "Don't worry about it," he muttered, "I’ll arrange it all," he turned away again. "I just thought you'd like to know " he threw over his shoulder before he left the house and mooched over to Beverly's.
They sat in the park, and Cecil told it all to Beverly. "She doesn't understand," he muttered, then the trace of a wry smile flickered round his lips, "I can't really expect her to, can I, Bev?" He smiled at the small, compact girl beside him who listened so attentively to everything he said. "You're the only person I told everything to, Bev you're the only one who I thought would understand."
She reached for his hand, squeezed it.
Cecil gave her a grateful glance then his eyes flickered across her face affectionately but curiously, too. "What d'you really think about it, Bev? I mean the whole thing," he asked.
Beverly wriggled her curvy, little body then crossed one leg over the other as primly as her miniskirt would allow. "I think it's wonderful, Cecil," she smiled into his eyes, "it's exciting! Have you really got everything worked out? I mean, like everything?"
"Well," Cecil paused, "maybe not everything but I know what I'm going to do." He took a deep breath. "Now that I know I can do it all right I mean " he lowered his voice, though they had almost the whole park to themselves, "act the part be like a girl " he smiled at Bev, "I've got to be ready to take a job when I graduate when I leave home." Cecil had decided that right after his graduation he would move across town about as far away from his mother as he could get without leaving the city and take a room, as a girl, then find a job. Any kind of a job would do, he had thought, then he had realized that if he was going to be a girl, he'd have to be prepared to take a job as a girl so… the commercial school… "If I graduate from the school," he told Bev, "I mean the commercial school, it’ll be easy to get something." He was silent for a moment, then murmured, "I haven't thought too far ahead but " he paused, then the words came tumbling out: "I've got to get away from home. I can't stand it anymore, Bev!"
She leaned against him, sympathetically. Cecil had told Beverly about Donna and Alma and Blanche, too. She knew of his mother's reaction.
"If – if it hadn't been for you," he told Beverly, "I'd have left here by now."
"I know," Beverly murmured softly, "you told me." She pressed her cheek against his face, "I'm glad you didn't go " suddenly she pulled herself upright, stared into Cecil's eyes. "Will you see me… when when you're a girl?"
"Why, sure," Cecil held her arm, affectionately, "if you want me to."
"Of course I want you to," she murmured, then she gripped him tightly, "Cecil," her eyes became round, "Why can't I see you when you're dressed up? You know like a girl… Maybe," her face lighted up, "we could go someplace together!"
Cecil looked at her in shocked silence for a moment then a small smile played around his lips. "Why not?" he said, "Why not, eh?"
"Tonight?" her voice was eager.
Cecil drew back. Tonight! So soon? "I I've only worn the clothes once," he murmured hesitantly.
"What's the difference?" Bev smiled at him, pressed her face against his again. "I bet you make a cute little girl," she whispered into his ear.
"I I hope you think so," he whispered back in reply. Benny had thought he was! Cecil was reminded. He hadn't told Beverly about… about his final test! His final test with Benny! He'd been so proud.
"I I could go with you to that that shop," said Beverly, her voice low and trembling with excitement, "then after you've changed we can go somewhere together!" She wriggled, hugged herself in eager anticipation. "It’ll be fun!" she whispered, "Such fun!"
"Not to the shop," said Cecil quickly, "You won't come to Benny's with me… I’ll meet you someplace after." He gave Beverly a sharp glance. She mustn't suspect about Benny! He hadn't told her about the arrangement that he'd made. The arrangement! " after I've changed," he went on, "and we'll go somewhere."
"All right," said Beverly agreeably.
"I I wouldn't want you to have to wait," muttered Cecil, excusing himself without reason, "it it takes me quite a while to change."
"Where shall I meet you?" Beverly asked eagerly.
Cecil thought for a moment, then: "There's a bus depot not far from the shop the Ajax Depot I can meet you there."
"At eight?" asked Bev.
Cecil was about to agree when something made him change his mind. "Make it nine," he said, "it may take me a quite a while at Benny's!"