Cecil sat on the bed in his room at home and stared at the wall in front of him. Tomorrow would be his last day at school! The graduation ceremony, and then… He took a deep breath, got up and strolled to the window. He would be leaving home… Starting a new life… a life as a girl! Everything was ready… His course at commercial school was completed. He had his certificate of competence as a stenographer. The certificate didn't say whether he was male or female but his name… he had spelled his name with an V when he enrolled! No one had ever mentioned it… why should they? What did it matter how their pupils spelled their names? It could matter a lot, Cecil had told himself, but now it would be all right, because the certificate named him as Cecile Greene. A nice name… a good name for a girl!
The course was paid for and he'd have to pay Beverly back for that. He thought of Bev for a minute. They were still friends… just good friends, he told himself with a wry, inward smile. Discovering that she was a lesbian had changed so many things for Beverly, but it hadn't stopped them from being friends. A different kind of friends maybe but still friends.
He had teased Beverly a little at first. Perhaps it had been partly because he was jealous… jealous because she had been able to complete herself, whereas he… he hadn’t not yet maybe… not ever! "Bev the lez," he'd murmured to her, then had been shocked at the anger that spewed from her lips. It had been a new side of Bev that he'd seen. There were a lot of new things about Bev. Her manner, for example. She wasn't prim and proper, shy and diffident anymore. Beverly was self – confident and her manner was more aggressive than submissive more extroverted than introverted. She had other new things, too… like new friends. One, in particular Monica!
Monica, he thought she was different, all right! She was small and blonde, with wet, pink lips, overdeveloped breasts, and underdeveloped hips. When Beverly was around her, she seemed to have a hard time keeping her hands off her. Monica stayed at Beverly's house three nights a week, and Beverly stayed at Monica's for the other four. Quite an arrangement, thought Cecil.
Beverly still visited the Eros Cafe. Sometimes she even traveled on the bus with Cecil when he was going to Benny's and she was going to the cafe. He wondered sometimes about the girl that she'd met on that never – to – be forgotten night… Was she still seeing her? Cecil never asked Beverly about that: there were some things that Beverly didn’t want to discuss. Even with good friends!
Cecil stared into the small garden the old backyard. The shed! He stared at the small lean – to, remembering Blanche, and feeling glad that he'd have left home before she returned from school in three days. He wouldn't have wanted to make a sad farewell to Blanche. Or Alma. He would miss seeing Alma, too. She would return on the same day as Blanche. He was glad about that. He would see them both later when he was settled when he was established… as a girl. And his mother and Donna wouldn't know he was leaving until after he'd gone and they found the note.
He had it all worked out. He was pretty good at planning things, he told himself… He ought to be Goddamned pleased with himself! Then why did he have a bitter lump in his throat?
There was even a job lined up for him. He'd found it on the mimeographed list that the commercial school gave all their pupils. Nearly all the jobs were for girls Cecil hadn’t minded that and there were only three boys, apart from Cecil, in the commercial class. He heard one of them complaining that all the jobs he'd applied for had stipulated girls!
So Cecil took a day off from high school, called in at Benny's, then applied for the job that he'd selected.
It was just a small job in an unimportant office but it was what Cecil wanted… and they hired him as Cecile! He remembered the interview so well. It had been another small test that he had successfully passed. He was glad of that glad in more ways than one. He hoped that he'd pass all the tests… because he knew that there were more… There always would be more!
The first day he'd gone to Benny's… the first time he'd been dressed up… and after… Benny had given him that first, exquisite orgasm! He'd thought that was the final test! He'd been so elated. Fuck my cunt he'd told Benny. And when Benny did and he came then came again with violent, blasting orgasms he'd told himself that that was it the final test… he had it made… If only he'd known it was only just beginning! Benny! All through the months that he had spent at the commercial school… the time of waiting for his graduation the time of preparation for his permanent transition Benny had doted on him, bought him new clothes as if he was a sugar daddy and Cecil was his baby doll. All through the waiting time Benny had loved him.
Cecil had appreciated and enjoyed the attentions that had been bestowed upon him. His body had twisted and writhed with a semblance of ecstasy when the sharp shaft had pierced his willing flesh, screwed through the sensitive tissue around the small, expanding star, and dived deep within his body to cause the fierce violence of blasting orgasms. Yet, even as the cock spurted hotly into his anus and his own small penis squirted jerkily, Cecil was aware of a small sense of incompleteness.
There was more! There must be more and he thought of Beverly and her words on the bus… It was nice it was good but it wasn't complete, was it? Was it? Would it ever be? The intrusive thought thrust itself into his mind unbidden and often resisted all his efforts to reject it.
He shook his head tiredly then with an intense mental effort, Cecil dragged his mind down to earth to mundane, practical things. There was so much he still had to do. Time was short… in two days he would have left this house. He took a deep breath, then Cecil began the final preparations for his transition.