"I'll be fucked," Andrea murmured, leafing through the pile of bills in her hand and eyeing the two girls before her with stark amazement. "What the hell. Let's get going before I come to my senses." She packed up her guitar, peeled off a couple of hundred dollar bills, and handed them to Sean. "Give these to Bert." Bert was the manager of Folk City. "Tell him I'm sorry I had to fink out on my contract-right in the middle of a gig no less-but this ought to make up for it and besides he knows a dozen performers as good as I am who can make it down here in half an hour."
Princess Summerfallwinterspring and Virginia Vagina babbled nonsense to each other and trailed after Sean and Andrea as they hot-footed it around the block to the Little Chink in the Great Wall. "Hey Joe," Andrea cried upon bursting into the restaurant, "pack up your wok! You're going on a trip!"
It took a few minutes to convince Joe that the Nothing wasn't Nothinging on him and a few more for him to call an uncle and arrange for the restaurant to be taken care of in his absence. He disappeared upstairs to his apartment and emerged with a wok containing two pairs of socks, a change of underwear, and three philosophy books. "This ought to do it for three weeks." They stepped outside and hailed a checker cab. The driver, about forty and paunchy, gave them a funny look as they got in. As they sped uptown toward Sean's place the Princess took off her headdress. "Jesus it gets hot under there." She was lounging on a jump-seat across from Joe. She pulled her legs up and leaned back and closed her eyes. Joe did a double and then a triple-take.
It was true. She wasn't wearing underwear. The way she was sitting he could tell for sure. Her bushy pussy winked at him from between her slim, darkly tanned legs. Andrea, sitting next to him with Sean on the other side, felt him take a deep breath.
"Wink back at it," she suggested.
Sean stroked his chin and contemplated the Princess's muff. "Bet you didn't know what you were getting into, Joe." He turned to Andrea. "Pretty shrewd of the old Guru to send these two with us-to make sure we didn't slap out with his three thou."
"That's not why we came," Virginia protested.
"So why did you come?" Sean pressed. "To help us pack? That's a good one."
"Well, that and… we're supposed to sort of get you used to the… well, the atmosphere that's going to be on the boat. You know. Get your heads in the right mood for the cruise." She attempted again to put on a seductive air. It was like Lucille Ball trying to play Sophia Loren.
Sean took another side-glance at the Princess's pussy and the trim cheeks of her ass bunched up beneath it. "And how are you supposed to do that?"
"Like this!"
Virginia's blue gauze dress featured a zipper running all the way down the front. She yanked it halfway down.
Her tits were suddenly very white and very free. She shook her shoulders and tossed them at Sean as though she expected him to catch them. They bob-bled around, the wine-red patches of her nipples gyrating against the background like polka-dots on a movie screen, and then swayed, juggled, and jounced to rest. "See?"
"I'd be blind if I didn't."
"Well," she asked, as though anxious to be sure she'd done things right, "what do you think?"
"I think that's a hell of an initiation to mysticism."
Virginia fingered her right nipple reflectively. Sean took a survey of her long, youthful torso and the hips that blossomed gently out below it. "The Guru says that the road to true enlightenment lies not around the body but through it," she recited hopefully.
"I'll bet."
Virginia frowned. Next to her the Princess snapped her eyes open as though springing a trap and caught Joe staring at her hole. She grinned triumphantly. She leaned toward him. "How'd you like me to suck your lolly-pop?"
By this time Joe had completely recaptured his composure. He smiled back sedately. "I guess I wouldn't mind too much,"
Virginia pouted at Sean. "Don't you like my tits?" She held them up and pointed them at him in a gesture he was soon to think of as characteristic. They were like two mellons in their bloated enormity. She caught him shooting Andrea an "isn't-this-too-much-for-words" look. "You two married or something?" she asked with alarm. "I mean do you think there's something wrong with my… uh… being un-hung-up about my body?"
Andrea came back in the tone of a patient mother engaging in a Platonic dialogue with her child. "Do you?"
Virginia got confused.
The Princess reached over into Joe's crotch to see what was up. It turned out to be plenty. She gave Virginia a conspiratorial wink and began massaging energetically. Joe regarded her with pleased equanimity. "I never blew an oriental before," she confessed.
"No time like the present." Joe looked past her through the Plexiglas shield. The driver was cocking his ear and glancing into the mirror now and then. He obviously could hear some of what was going on and he was interested. "You don't think that guy'll mind you giving blow-jobs in his cab?"
"I'll blow him too if he wants!" the Princess shouted.
The driver didn't have to strain to hear that one, and he had a pretty good idea who she was talking about. He almost ran into a beer truck. He stopped at a light and turned around.
The Princess was unzipping Joe's trousers and getting into position. Joe pointed to the driver's incredulous face and the Princess, gripping his organ firmly, turned. "I said I'd blow you too if you want!" She made sucking motions with her lips above Joe's cock and pointed through the seat at about the level of the cabbie's own apparatus just in case he hadn't understood.
His mouth fell open. The light changed and horns blared and he drove on shaking his head and continuing to glance eagerly into the mirror at every opportunity.
Virginia was still trying to get it up to answer Andrea's question when Sean reached over and grabbed her boobs. She started and then grinned as though all were suddenly right with the world.
"Not bad," Sean commented. "Nice consistency. Just like pizza dough."
"Pizza dough?" Virginia didn't know whether to be complimented or insulted. "You Italian?"
Sean declined to answer. He kept kneading her tits methodically. They were nice tits. Really nice tits. There was so much of them. And despite Virginia's systematic idiocy she had a certain naive charm.
Suddenly, like the scatter brain she was, Virginia came up with an answer to Andrea's question. "I don't think there's anything wrong with it," she said defensively. "I mean, you get your body for free, right? So why be cheap with it? And it's natural, so why cover it up?" Sean's massage was getting right to her. "Mmmmmm. And besides, it feels so good."
"That's peachy," Sean muttered, but Virginia couldn't hear him over the sound of the Princess's lips smacking on Joe's dong. "Ok, Virginia Vagina, let's examine your last name," he said loudly.
"Huh? You mean you want to examine my vagina? My cunt? Sure. Wait a second." She fumbled for her zipper and drew it all the way down, revealing a creamy white navel and then a pair of yellow lace panties. "The Guru said I should wear these. Otherwise… well, this dress is pretty thin, and I might have got arrested."
"Good philosophy," Andrea observed. She and Sean were poking each other with their elbows and generally having a gas of a time.
"Yeah," Virginia agreed, pleased that Andrea had said something mildly positive. She lifted her ass and started peeling her panties down. She got her fingers rolled up in the tight elasticized material and couldn't get them out. Sean helped her.
The receding cloth revealed an ostentatiously bulging cunt sparsely furred with curling tendrils of blonde hair, beneath which the flesh was as white as flour. Except that its slit, which was already hanging slightly open and spilling inner lips wantonly out, was baby's-bottom pink. It looked like it had already been meticulously greased for action.
Her panties gone, Virginia spread her legs wide and put her hands on her knees. She looked down as though checking to make sure it was the same cunt she'd had before. It seemed to be. She looked at Sean hopefully. "Well, how do you like it?"
Sean was about to comment on her anxiousness for approval of her physical attributes-hardly standard for a dedicated mystic-but he refrained. "I can't make a judgment yet. I have to refer the matter to my vagina inspector." He turned to Andrea. "Want to give me a report on this one?"
Andrea, who was being jostled violently from the other side by the Princess's attack on Joe, got into the spirit. "Gees," she gasped, "I gotta make an inspection? Here?" She leaned toward Virginia. "I mean, on visual inspection I'd say it's US Grade AAA Super-Prime Quadruple-Choice Fuckable. Maybe even good to eat." She said this as though they'd come across an appealing-looking but unknown fruit in a strange forest. "But you can't always tell. I mean, it might have a mousetrap inside or something." She smiled patronizingly at Virginia, who had retreated into her favorite guise of blank bewilderment. "Excuse me."
She motioned for Virginia to spread her legs wider and draw them up. As the young lovely complied Andrea grabbed her pussy.
Virginia's eyes opened wide and her pupils dilated till they nearly took over her baby-blue irises. She tottered on her jump-seat.
The cab stopped at another light and the driver looked back again. He caught a full view of Joe getting off into the Princess's mouth and a side view of Virginia's boobs and her cunt with Andrea's hand in it. He shoved his plaid cap back on his head and wiped his upper lip.
The Princess, still swallowing, whirled and waved at him. After a second her throat had cleared enough for her to shout, "I said I'd do you too! You up for it?" She cackled gleefully and clawed at the partition.
The light changed and the driver charged ahead as though getting the last few blocks to their destination was a matter of life or death, but nobody could tell which one he thought it was.
"So," Sean asked as Andrea got three slim fingers up Virginia and wiggled them around, "how's it going?"
"Man, it's a big one," Andrea said with the tone of a twelve-year-old who's hooked a five-pound bass. "Shit, I bet you could get two cocks in there." She felt Virginia squirming with pleasure. "Just for the record, honey, you ever had two in there at once?"
"Uh huh," Virginia moaned. "Two medium-sized ones. Not two big ones. I'm working up to that. The Guru says you have to live up to your natural potential. Why do you think they call me Virginia Vagina? My real name is Ruthie Fleegerschmog. Hey-you like fingering girls' pussies?"
"Better than sheeps'," Andrea allowed, diddling with her clit. "I most prefer my own, though. Only doing my job, honey. When you're inspector for a stud like Sean here you get a little jaded. I have to do twenty or thirty of these a day. You see, whenever a chick wants a piece of Sean, he refers her to me first. Lots of mornings I wake up and open my door and find five or six chicks combing their cunt-hair outside my door."
"Really?" It took a long second for Virginia to catch the gleam in Andrea's eye and laugh. "You fooled me."
"I bet I'm not the first one."
"Huh?"
The cab pulled up in front of Sean's building.
Joe yanked his pants up and Andrea pulled her hand out of Virginia's hefty sheath. "Inspection completed."
She held her hand up for Sean to smell. The odor was surprisingly faint. It reminded him of water-lillies in a shallow pool in mid-summer.
"The visual and tactual results are satisfactory. I'll leave the final decision on the olfactory aspects to you." Virginia obviously had no idea what "olfactory" meant. "I still haven't devised a satisfactory test for the auditory aspects. And I really didn't do a taste test at all. Of course you can project that with fair accuracy from the olfactory results. But to do a proper job I'd have to perform thorough cunnilingus under laboratory conditions."
Virginia's eyes lit up. That was one she knew. "That means you'd have to eat me out, right?" she said with an anticipatory smile.
"Right. But we really can't do that under the present conditions… "
Joe got out of the cab. The Princess followed him and went up to lean against the driver's door. "You want a quickie in the cab, or you want to go up with us and take your time?"
The guy sputtered and grinned and frowned. "Well… what the… you mean you're really gonna blow me?"
She stuck her head in the window and half-shouted into his ear, "I said I was going to blow you, didn't I? I'm going to suck you off! Take your penis in my mouth and manipulate it, causing you to ejaculate! Now… you want a quickie in the cab, or… "
Sean could tell the cabbie wanted to go upstairs but he was leery of going into strange apartments with strangers this strange. Funny how New York made you paranoid. Or maybe he had to meet his wife right away. Finally the guy said, "I gotta get back downtown pretty quick for a… "
"Fine." The Princess cut him off. "I'll give you a quickie in the cab. Special service in the comfort of your own golden chariot." She yanked his door open. "Move over and whip it out. I suppose you'll want to feel my pussy or my tits or something while I'm doing you?"
The cabbie shoved over on the seat and gazed indecisively at his zipper.
"Shit, if you can't get it out, I can." She proceeded to unpack his pants. "Hey, not a bad one," she exulted, fingering his uncircumcized member lightly. "I sort of dig them au naturel. You want it lying down or sitting up?"
The driver loosened up fast under the preliminary massage but was still visibly thunder-struck.
Virginia and Sean and Andrea got out, Virginia pulling her dress around her but not bothering to zip it up. Joe sat on the steps of Sean's brownstone holding the Princess's headdress, his wok-suitcase by his side, laughing his head off. As the others joined him they could see the driver's hulking body moving clumsily around inside the cab, getting into position beneath the flitting white material of the Princess's dress. It seemed he had decided that he wanted the Princess on top of him in the sixty-nine position. Just before her ass lowered onto him two thick hands loomed up and grabbed it and pushed her dress off it almost desperately. Two skinny, hollow-cheeked buttocks, girlishly firm, loomed in the window and then disappeared, pushed down by the pressure of fat fingers.
Joe shook the Princess's headdress and watched feathers fall off it as the cab shook gently. Occasionally the buttocks appeared in the cab window. Virginia sat higher up on the steps eyeing the philosophy books in Joe's wok curiously and singing, "Ra-di-o, Ho-ho-ho, Wa-vies Come and Wa-vies Go" to herself like someone who couldn't get a particularly catchy tune out of her head. Sean and Andrea lounged against the rail patiently. All in all it was a weird scene for John Fuocoforte a theater manager about Sean's age who lived across the hall from him, to run into on his way home from a Mets game.
"Hey, man, what's going on?" John asked as he saw everyone's attention focussed on the cab. He gave Sean an inquisitive look and copped a quick stare at Virginia, who held her panties in her lap and neglected to keep her dress-such as it was-securely around her.
Sean took the headdress from Joe and waved it at John as though it were an answer to his question. "A friend of ours is giving our cabbie his tip."
"Oh. Yeah. Well, I guess I'll… "
The Princess's ass made a particularly long and vivid appearance in the cab window.
"Whaaat?" John's curiosity, to say the least, was aroused.
"There's a chick in there giving the cab driver a blow-job."
"Yeah. Sure. Huh?"
"Do I have to explain a blow-job to you?"
"You don't have to explain it to him," Virginia cut in sweetly. "I'll give him a demonstration." She eyed John lasciviously.
John stared at her as though she'd come from Mars.
She pulled her dress open and grabbed one of her tits and pointed it at him. "Bang Bang! You're alive!"
John stared at the tit until she said, "Look, I've got more shit inside this dress too… " and swept the cloth off her lap.
Just then the gentle rocking of the cab ceased. The Princess's smiling face appeared. "Mission accomplished!"
The driver sat up looking as if he'd just had a far-out accident. The Princess patted him on the shoulder and climbed out of the cab, leaving him to puzzle over how to tell the steering wheel from the gas pedal.
John and Virginia engaged in an animated but incoherent conversation as the party, now six strong, clomped up the stairs and gushed into Sean's apartment. They were supposed to be packing for a trip but it was obvious that Virginia and the Princess meant to take most of the night initiating the Guru's new staff members to standard procedure. Virginia threw her dress over a lamp and flopped down onto Sean's immense water bed. She drew her legs up over her head, yanked her pussy open, and yelled, "Free fucks! Come and get it!"
John was thinking about taking her up on it when Andrea stepped in front of him. She'd never met John before but he was tall and dark and handsome, well-built, with swarthy skin and bushy black hair. He had a genial smile and a gregarious, innocent sort of air about him. And he looked like he'd know just what to do with a piece of ass. Besides, Andrea thought it right that Sean should have the first crack-so to speak-at Virginia. After all, she'd been inspected. So she said, "Pardon me, but I think that cunt is taken. However, I've decided that I'm not going to get any cock unless I get with the crazy rhythm around here. So I offer you a substitute for that bit of plastic pulchritude over there."
She stripped off her dress, yanked her panties down to her knees, grabbed John's hand, and shoved it between her legs. "Cop a feel of that for a second and see if you can get into it."
John's rod blasted erect so fast that he almost got into it pants, underpants and all.
By this time Sean had his clothes off and he was onto Virginia before she had time to shout "Free Fucks!" again. With one good shot he plowed her furrow dead-center and the soft casing of youthful pussy closed over him. He started humping away at a mile a minute.
Joe and the Princess took the other end of the water bed. The Princess, never too slow to get her clothes off, waited while Joe unlaced his boots and flung his clothes to the winds.
"Whooopee! Ride 'em cowboy!" Virginia screeched as Sean got up high on her. She started bucking and slapped his ass with her palms. The two of them set up such huge waves in the water bed that by the time the Princess was laid out properly and Joe got into position over her he had trouble hitting the target. The Princess tried to hold it steady for him but it just wasn't as big as Virginia's and every time he made a stab at it, it moved. He hit her in the thighs, in the stomach-almost snagging her belly-button-in the ass, the water bed. He got up off her and shouted, "Time out, dammit!"
Sean froze.
Andrea, who was about to sit down on John's king-sized thing as he sat in an easy-chair, turned to see what the trouble was.
Joe pointed to the Princess's puss. "That motherfucker's jumping around like a goddamned jackrabbit! Chinese are not natural marksmen!"
The haitus in the frenzy was all he needed. Without further ado he crammed it in and was off and humping. "Okay, everybody! Play ball!"
Sean and Virginia didn't need a second invitation. He'd already decided that she didn't have anything upstairs because it was all downstairs. She clamped on him, teased him, attacked him, until he was about to go crazy. Her big loose-lipped cunt felt like a plump, hairy pillow against his groin. She strained up to cover his mouth with hers and sucked his tongue as though it were a second cock. She tickled his ears and ran her nails down his back. She shoved her bulbous breasts against his chest and rubbed back and forth till he could feel their huge rock-hard nipples like little pebbles on floating cushions between them. She just plain liked fucking. She was like a kid on a wild roller-coaster ride. She wasn't much good at talking about it, maybe, but she was fantastic at doing it.
Andrea took it more slowly with John. He rubbed his palms over her nipples. She squatted down on him little by little, covering the tip of his cock with the hot, wet entrance to her hole, riding, down till it sprang free and shot up across her clit, and then repeating the motion. He bit his lip in tense expectation.
Suddenly he yelled, "Oh shit! I forgot! I completely forgot! How could I have done that? What time is it?"
Andrea exhaled-realizing for the first time she'd been holding her breath-and laughed. "What the hell do you mean, what time is it? It's time to fuck me, stupid!"
"No! I mean, yeah, but no! Don't you see? I forgot! Fuck, I said that already. Not fuck. Yeah, I said that too. But-I forgot…" He babbled on for a while.
Andrea was in stitches. Everybody else was too preoccupied to notice what was going on. The bed sloshed and creaked and the moanings and groanings added up to a minor symphony.
John got soft and Andrea slid down to rest on his lap. Finally he got it together to spit it out. "I've got a motherfucking date tonight! At eleven thirty! This chick is coming over to my place!"
Andrea searched the walls and caught sight of a clock in the kitchen. "It's twenty-five to twelve."
"PISS! I mean-nothing against you." He slapped her ass enthusiastically. "But like, I'm really crazy about this chick. I've been after her for a long time and I don't know how the hell I talked her into coming to my place in the middle of the night for a first date. She's a nurse and she gets off at eleven and I told her we'd go out for a… piss!"
"Go out for a piss?"
John was too numb to appreciate anything.
"There's only one solution," Andrea said.
"What?"
"Coitus interruptus." She got up. "Go ahead downstairs and see if she's there."
"If she's here she'll be in the hall outside. I told her to ring Freddy's bell if I didn't answer. In case the game went into extra innings or something."
"Maybe she's down at Freddy's."
"Not a chance. Freddy's gay and he's got a hot date tonight. He was going to give her a pillow and a can of beer and tell her to cool her buns in the hall up here."
"So take a look outside and see if she's here, numbskull."
"Like this? Sure. And what do I say? 'Sorry, but I was detained by a slight orgy?' And then I wave my schwantz at her, right?"
"Might not be such a bad idea. Nice to get everything out in the open right away."
"Not with a chick like this."
"Oh-the innocent young thing, huh?"
"From upstate. Been in the city four months. Look, if I open the door she's got to hear… see… smell… THAT." He waved in the direction of the bed full of writhing limbs.
"Fuck it. I'll look then. If she's there I'll say you called and said you'd be late getting back because… I don't know, the subway went the wrong way or something… and she should wait. Then you can slip down the fire escape and out the alley, back in through the front door, and-voila! So… get your ass into the kitchen."
John did as he was told.
"Could I have a little quiet in the fucking gallery, please?" Andrea said in the direction of the bed. The storm subsided mildly. She went to the door and peeked out.
There was a tall classy-looking chick with straight black hair, big brown eyes, long face, slightly prominent but regular nose, olive skin, and a bored expression sitting on a cushion in front of John's door drinking a beer and reading the sports section of the Daily News. She was pretty flat-chested but overall lithely and quite sensually proportioned. She wore a conservative flower-print pants suit. She smiled strangely at the face that poked out from behind the cover of Sean's door and waved with a drumming-the-fingers motion as though she'd expected to see Andrea.
"You John's date?"
"Who else would I be? I'm not the exterminator."
"Listen, John called and said… "
"Bullshit."
"Huh?"
"I said,bullshit." She smiled sweetly. "As in plain old ordinary brown bullshit." She folded her paper, knocked back the rest of her beer, left the can on the step, and moseyed over. "John called and said the subway went the wrong way or something, right?" She had a large canvas shoulder-bag that she adjusted easily to hang across her stomach. "Those doors aren't that thick, you know. I can hear everything that's going on in there." Her face was a cipher. Andrea tried to close the door and hide behind it.
"Don't be bashful. I've seen lots of naked chicks. Guys too. I'm a nurse." She craned her head to try to see in. "Never caught an orgy, though." Andrea relented and she shoved the door open.
Two couples stopped in mid-fuck.
"Where's John? That piece of chicken-shit! Hiding in the kitchen?" She stepped in and closed the door behind her. She repeated her dainty wave in the direction of the bed. "Don't let me interrupt you. I'm just here to check the plumbing."
There was an uncomfortable shuffling noise from the kitchen.
The tempo of activity on the bed picked up again although all four of the fuckers continued to give the newcomer suspicious sidelong glances.
"What're you doing in there, schmuck?" the girl called into the kitchen. "Putting on an apron?" She pointed at John's clothes, which were strewn around the armchair. "I see he forgot a few essentials." She gave a snort of mock-disgust and shouted again, "Come on out and finish up what you were doing!" She smiled knowingly at Andrea. "I can wait."
Andrea about dropped her teeth.
There was more shuffling from the kitchen.
"Come out here and face up to this like a man! And don't come out with anything on, because that's not the way you went in! Besides, I want to check out your equipment"
Andrea collapsed onto the couch. The incredible had struck again. There had to be some explanation.
"If you turn out to be needle-dick the bug-fucker, I'm going home!"
John finally emerged timidly from between the kitchen's double doors. He looked like he'd spent an hour in an electric blender. "Look," he began sheepishly, "I know what you think, but… "
"But me no buts, wise-ass. Just finish up what you were doing." She sat down on the couch next to Andrea, opened her pocket-book, and took out some knitting. She smiled graciously. "I'll watch."
John's jaw looked like somebody had pulled the pin out of its hinge. His arms hung limply at his sides. He didn't know whether this was good or bad, or whether it was for real.
"Fuck her, stupid! That's what you were doing, wasn't it? Coitus interruptus, for Christsake! I wouldn't have put up with it, frankly." She stole a glance at the bed and seemed stimulated. "If you hurry up you might even get the first crack at me. Otherwise I think I'll take on that studly looking guy with the beard."
John knocked his head like he was trying to get marbles out of it.
"Am I allowed to pass?" Andrea asked. "I think maybe John would rather… " She stopped. "What's your name, anyhow?"
"Joanna. Yeah, you're allowed to pass, I guess. But really, I'd like to see this creep do his stuff." She chuckled reflectively. "Maybe I'll decide it would be fitting punishment for him if I balled with those other guys and didn't give him a piece."
Andrea laughed and shook her head incredulously. Joanna looked to be about as cool a chick as she'd ever come across. Besides, she could see the sensuality oozing out of her. She wondered what had given John the impression that Joanna was uptight. She turned to John. "Well, I'll leave it up to you."
In the background Virginia came with an ecstatic screech. The Princess squirmed out from under Joe and turned around so he could come at her from behind. His dick, glistening with her juices, eased up between her tight little ass cheeks and disappeared.
"Don't leave it up to him," Joanna advised. "He doesn't know his peter from my twat. You want it? Take it. You don't want it? Maybe I shouldn't want it either." She looked at John tauntingly. "Who the hell wants a reject?"
There was a moment of stony silence. John's rod looked like a piece of overcooked macaroni. He shifted from foot to foot uneasily.
"Okay," Joanna relented, putting aside her knitting. "I look pretty stupid sitting around here with my clothes on, right? And John's got a piece of soggy pasta for a prick. Now that's not going to do anybody any good." She stood up and reached behind her to draw down the zipper to her pants suit. "So maybe if I strip"-she put a funny accent on "strip"-"I'll inspire him to put some stuffing in his manicotti."
She muttered an aside to Andrea. "I may be Polish but I know how to cook Italian-style."
She continued her oration. "And then he'll be able to do some justice to that horny pussy he left you with." She glanced pointedly at the matted wetness of Andrea's auburn cunt-hair. "After that we'll see what's going on."
All eyes were on Joanna, although John looked as if his vision was awfully fuzzy.
Joanna let her pants suit fall to a puddle at her feet. She was wearing a sheer bra and plain cotton panties. "Now I warn you," she said as she unhooked the bra, "I've got little tits, and I'm uptight about it." She shed the bra and hooked her fingers into the waistband of her panties. Her tits were little, all right, but they pointed out sharply to a pair of attractive brownish nipples. "But I think I've got a really nice ass." She pulled the panties off and before anyone got a good look at her cunt she turned around. "See?" She ran her fingers delicately down over her smoothly curving buttocks like a model pointing out a particularly attractive feature of a new gown.
There was no doubt about it. She had one of the finest asses in the history of womankind. Exquisitely sculpted, basically the same ski-slope shape as Andrea's, but with firmer and more finely delineated buttocks that jutted just enough to be tantalizing without protruding grossly. The flesh was smooth and creamy and the buttocks were nicely separated by the deep, regular cleft between them. Sean, who considered himself a connoisseur of fine asses, frankly preferred it to Andrea's. But only as an isolated ass. Joanna's hips had a girlish lilt to them that, while it fitted her form perfectly, somehow lacked the overt sensuality, the earth-mother image, of Andrea's subtly exaggerated lines.
"Beautiful," Andrea gladly admitted. She reached out uncertainly. "Can I touch it?"
"You can eat it if you want to."
"Maybe later." She stroked Joanna's ass reverently and then cupped the cheeks in her hands. The flesh was surprisingly heavy given the overall lightness of its shape but it gave and sprang back like a cake that's done just right. She bounced the cheeks up and down. Joanna closed her eyes for a second, obviously enjoying herself and not at all hung up about it. She turned slowly around to confront John with her pussy. "As for this," she said, running her fingers down through her jet-black cunt-hair and then pulling up to pout the lips out and stretch them up, "I suppose it's just another cunt."
"Looks like a classic to me," Andrea commented, noticing the flushed tan of her clit jutting up out of the slick surrounding flesh like an arrowhead. She reached down and gave it a delicate flick with her finger. Joanna shuddered and grinned and her knees buckled.
She snickered at John. "What's the matter, there, Horny Harry? Still in an advanced state of shock?" John's rod was firm and straight and sticking out brazenly in front of him like a blind man's cane. Joanna punched Andrea playfully on the shoulder. "See? That did the trick. Moral is that his cock knows what it's doing even if he doesn't. You reckon it can see out of that little eye?"
She sat down abruptly, crossed her legs, and picked up her knitting. She looked at John and gestured toward Andrea. "Go do it, dumbbell."
There were scattered giggles from the bed.
John shrugged his shoulders in capitulation.
Joanna grabbed Andrea's ass and squeezed it. "Mmmmm. Nice." Andrea nodded appreciatively. "Just thought I'd return the compliment."
The party on the bed got mixed up in the middle of a partner change and ended up in an undifferentiated foursome. Joanna amused herself trying to see who was connected to whom and how as John resumed his original position in the chair and Andrea sidled up to him.
Joanna figured that Sean had his rod up the Princess's puss from behind-or maybe it was up her ass, it was hard to tell for sure-as they lay on their sides, and Virginia Vagina was draped over them with her face between Sean's ass cheeks, either sucking his balls or licking his hole. Joe was down around her holy area eating everything in sight and the Princess was stroking his cock. Meanwhile Sean had one hand on the Princess's right tit and the other on Virginia's ass, holding it open to give Joe's hungry tongue more ready access. Joanna was tempted to get up and inspect the configuration from closer range but she stayed put for the moment to keep her eye on the progress between John and Andrea.
It was really quite sexy the way Andrea wiggled her ass and wormed John's rod gradually into her, circling around to wedge her cunt open. John also seemed to have nice nipple-rubbing technique. At least Andrea was enjoying it because her mouth was hanging open and her tongue was hanging out and she was panting like a dog on a hot day.
Joanna wouldn't have admitted it, but this was one of her favorite fantasies come true-watching a real stud of a guy getting off on another chick (and a truly beautiful one at that) and knowing that when he was done with her, she'd be the next in line. There was something about the idea of a guy's rod wet and sticky with the juice from another girl's cunt and the sperm of his orgasm with her that made Joanna's inner thighs quiver. She could already see John finishing with Andrea and strolling over to her. She could feel that wet worm probing up inside her. She reached down and fingered her clit surreptitiously under her knitting.
Andrea got all the way down on John and he grabbed her ass cheeks and squeezed them hard. As she started to get wound up he pulled the cheeks apart and circled a finger on her asshole. That really got her off. She jounced up and down. John leaned back to let her grind her pelvis against his and trap her clit just where she wanted it. He had good technique.
Then Andrea's back arched and tiny cries escaped from her lips. John's rod rammed all the way up inside her and stayed there. He closed his eyes and swiveled his hips and from the way he clenched his teeth Joanna could tell he was about to make it.
So could Andrea. She had her hands on his shoulders and she was shaking him back and forth the way a mother sometimes shakes a bad child, digging her nails into him and wailing away with cutting, low-pitched moans.
Andrea hit it first. Joanna saw her thighs and ass cheeks go rock-hard. Her whole body quivered, keeping up a fast vibration of her clit between the top of John's shaft and his pelvic bone. It was a strong one and a long one. His cock stayed all the way up her, absorbing the convulsions of her insides and jerking spasmodically. His finger eased a little farther up her ass and that set her off again, even harder this time. She was climbing to higher and higher levels of orgasm.
She let go of John's shoulder with her right hand and swung it around and down-to grab his balls. She took them gently in her fingers and bobbled them, searching for just the right place. She found it. John gave a sudden, involuntarily grunt and slammed up into her. Joanna could tell Andrea was getting it and getting it good.
After a few seconds of frozen orgasm John and Andrea started to come down.
"There was brief applause from the water bed. "Bravo," Virginia cried, still slumped over Sean and the Princess. Just then Sean let go with his third or fourth shot of the night and the Princess squealed with delight.
Andrea drew up off John and stretched out easily on the floor.
"Okay," Joanna announced, "my turn."
John looked at her with a hungry but still puzzled look. He sat still for a second. Joanna got up and meandered over to him. He was half-erect and his cock looked just the way she wanted it to look-reddish and glistening with clear juices and an occasional smear of cloudy white semen.
"Wait a second," Andrea said, holding her cunt to keep the come from dribbling out onto Sean's rug. "Let me get something to wipe that up with. Leave the campsite as clean as you found it! That's what we learned in the Girl Scouts." She made for the kitchen.
"Don't you dare!" Joanna said. Andrea turned around a little surprised. "I want it just the way it is." Andrea nodded comprehendingly and disappeared. When she returned Joanna was kneeling on the floor in front of John delicately licking the head of his cock.
"Taste good?" Andrea asked, curling up on the floor nearby and wiping her cunt with a dish-towel.
"Delicious. You two make excellent soup."
It didn't take more than a few licks to get John back to full strength. He stared at Joanna with something like wonder. She patted him on the thigh. "I'm done giving you a hard time," she said. She got up and pulled him to his feet. "Let's see if we can get a piece of the bed. Chairs don't do it for me so much."
To her amazement the bed cleared off immediately and everyone took places around it.
"We're billing this as the main event," the Princess announced. "Besides, we're all beat. For the next few minutes, anyhow."
"Yeah," Joe agreed, mustering up his most inscrutable shit-eating grin. "This orgy business is hard work." He entrenched himself on a window-seat overlooking the bed between Virginia and the Princess, who took turns diddling with his dick. Sean pulled the couch around to face it toward the bed and he and Andrea curled up on it.
"Well, okay," Joanna agreed. "Come on, baby." She patted John's ass and took a flying leap into the center of the bed. John followed her, his rod swaying as he crawled to where she'd taken up her position on her back.
"Is that the way you like it best?" he asked.
"Yeah. Flat out. Good and hard."
"If you want to end up that way, why don't we start some other way?"
"Sure. How?"
"How about you on your knees and me coming at you from the back?"
"Groovy. That puts my best face forward." She rolled over and drew herself up to her knees, slapping her magnificent derriere proudly. "Just reach around and give me a little fingering. I'll probably get off a couple of times like that. I usually have a couple of heavy tremors before the big quake."
John's head was still swimming as he squished up to her, wallowing in the plastic-covered water and. the mess of sheets and blankets.
Sean went to the kitchen and returned with a six-pack of beer. As he handed cans around to the spectators Joanna gave him a wry look and said, "All you need now's some buttered popcorn. Show's never as good without it."
"I'm sure we'll manage," Sean returned, curling up on the sofa again and putting his arm around Andrea.
John knelt straight up behind Joanna and, wrapping his fingers around his rod, ran its head up and down her ass crack a few times. "Exquisite," he said. "Soft as silk." With the other hand he spread her crack and jiggled his cock against her asshole.
"Hold it," Sean said. He got up again and walked over behind Joanna. "Since you've got such a nice ass, it'd be good to see what's at the bottom of it."
John pulled his rod away. Everybody else thought Sean had a good idea and gathered around as John continued to hold Joanna's crack open. There were ooohs and aaahs.
"Perfection," Joe pronounced. "Note the delicate texture; the intrinsic smoothness; the subtle coloration; the perfect symmetry… "
"You ever hear of anybody with a square asshole?" Joanna quipped.
Joe went on unabashed. "Now this is what you call your Northern Royal Princess type asshole."
"Goes with your tiny Polack tits," Joanna interjected.
"Please," Joe insisted. "Now as I was saying. It is typically more brown than pink, light in hue-ranging from the color of a grocery bag, as with this specimen, all the way to a light walnut-pliant to the touch, generally with superlative puckering power… " He tapped Joanna on the right buttock. "Pucker, please." She obliged and the hole constricted strongly, sucking in and bunching at the edges to a tight little doughnut. "And seldom admitting of ready expansion. This type, you will find, is generally difficult to enter with the penis, and lends itself more naturally to communication with the tongue." He gestured to John. "If you please." John gave it a few lingering licks. "Thank you. Your technique is excellent. But-the Northern Royal Princess is characteristically extremely sensitive, almost invariably comprising a secondary erogenous zone far more significant than, say, the breasts, the mouth, the ears, etc., in those who possess it. This implies that where, through diligent practice, the possessor has managed to overcome its natural difficulty of expansion, entry of the male penis into this orifice produces highly significant responses."
"Never tried it," Joanna admitted.
"Aha. Not surprising. At any rate, to conclude, this variety of asshole is valued for its extreme sensitivity and unparalleled aesthetic attributes by nearly every connoisseur of such matters." He bowed. "Thank you, Miss Northern Royal Princess. You may proceed."
Joanna shook her head. "Must say I'm surprised to get a lecture on the appreciation of my own asshole. Okay, John, let me have it."
She spread her knees a little wider and the spectators, beer cans in hand, leaned forward like a bunch of tourists gawking at the Carlsbad Caverns as John slid a finger into her pussy and pried it open. It was leaner than Andrea's, less bushy than the Princess's, and very slick and sophisticated-looking compared to Virgina's disorganized overabundance. It looked like it was going to be tight.
"Damn," Sean said admiringly. "That girl is sure put together between the legs." He wondered whether she was going to be damp enough. There was no way a pussy like that was going to be a gusher. There was the lightest haze of moisture on it. John's cock was still good and slimy…
John butted the fat tip of his rod up against the opening and hunched down over her, reaching around to finger her clit from underneath. She immediately tensed up and her ass went into a maddeningly slow, methodical series of revolutions.
"Oooooh," John whispered. "That is so fine"
"You can just force it in," Joanna said. "It'll feel like tight going but it won't hurt me and I like it that way."
"A little bit of the rape," Andrea muttered to Sean.
John took her up on it. He started with long, easy undulations of his body that inched it in a little at a time. When he had it far enough in so it couldn't come out he took to jabbing. Joanna shuddered and her ass cheeks shook like jello. Her hole was so tight that it pulled in and out with John's cock like a pale membrane that had been grafted to it. It reminded Sean of the head of a drum. He thought it had to hurt, being so tight, but Joanna got into John's rhythm and jabbed back more savagely at him than he jabbed forward at her. With every stroke she snapped her hips down to catch her clit hard on his finger.
The Princess started humming. The high, mellow sound undulated with the two fucking bodies. Virginia took it up.
It was like magic. It seemed to unite the two with everyone in the room. In spite of themselves-they thought it was a little corny; it sounded like Alan Ginsberg doing his "om" number-Sean and Andrea and eventually Joe joined in. It was obviously getting to John and Joanna. Its tempo picked up with theirs. It was music to fuck by. It was great.
Faster and faster, harder and harder they went, with the water sloshing in tidal waves in the bed, John grunting, Joanna panting and gasping.
Joanna came once with a wild wiggling of her ass. John almost went off but he held himself back like a pro.
They fucked on for a while, perspiration starting to gather on their brows, Joanna's hair tossing crazily. She came again, this time jittering up and down on John's finger like a jackrabbit. John was really getting off on the feeling of his thighs butting up against her ass cheeks and he would have gone on in that position till the end but finally Joanna slumped down onto her stomach. They rested for a second and then, with some contortions to keep him from coming out of her, she switched over to her back. "Okay, baby. Climax time." Without warning she pressed up into him hard, sucked away, pressed up again, arching her back and letting the waves in the bed help her move in tremendously long strokes.
"Jesus, am I deep," John breathed in amazement. "I feel like it's going to come out your mouth."
Joanna tossed her head back and forth and that lost look came into her eyes as John battered down into her. "Hold it right there, right there… " she chanted, "that's it, that's perfect, that's going to get it… right on the money… okay, baby, any time… I'll be right there… just fuck me like that… "
"Agh! Agh!" John gulped for breath. His skin flushed and he galloped at a steady pace. "Agh! Agh! AGH!"
One mighty thrust and Joanna collapsed under him and went completely limp. She was tossing on the end of his cock like a rag doll, feeling the come shoot deep into her, feeling the ecstatic explosion from far away and from deep in her insides, sucking it up, getting every last twitch, bearing his weight easily as it all bore down on that one point, feeling his skin flash hot, getting those never-ending jolts from the pleasure-point of her clit and turning them into squeezings and caresses in her innermost depths.
As they finished and the tempo of the mad dash slowly subsided, welcome echoes of the jolts came back again. There were echoes and echoes and echoes. It was many minutes before John's twitching stopped and she felt completely done.
It wasn't until half an hour later than Sean finally began to pack.
Things had subsided. Virginia tried to help him with his typewriter and manuscripts but she was so inept that she was finally banished to the bed where she sat talking to Andrea and John. Joanna was making coffee in the kitchen and Joe, true to his cook's instincts, was cleaning everything that would go bad out of the refrigerator. Suddenly Andrea burst out with, "I'm so stupid! Why didn't I think of this before? You guys should go with us! John and Joanna! It would be a gas! The Guru says we've got a five-room suite!"
John reflected a minute. "Hell, the theatre's just closed down for a month of renovations. I should be here, but I don't have to be. I've got two weeks' vacation coming, and the owner'd probably be happy not to have to pay me for the third." He looked at Joanna. "Can you make it?"
"I don't know," she said. "I've heard some crazy things about this Guru Baalow Nee. There's an article about this cruise in the paper I was reading.'
"That's not the question. The question is-can you make it in terms of your job?"
"Oh yeah, sure, that's no sweat. I was going to transfer from Columbia Presbyterian to St. Luke's in three days anyhow. I could just tell everybody I'm leaving early and taking three weeks in between. They might not like it, but nurses are scarce enough that St. Luke's isn't going to squalk too much. They can't afford to. Hell, I could tell them my dog died. Or the subway goes the wrong way. Or something."
"What's in that article?" Sean asked curiously.
Joanna fished the paper out, leafed through to the fifth page, and read. "Guru's Cruise Seeks What Kind of Enlightenment?"
"Tomorrow morning at eight o'clock the cruise ship True Enlightenment, owned solely by the Guru Baalow Nee, a self-styled mystic of unknown origins who last year burst onto the Commercial Religion scene with the impact of an atom bomb, leaves Pier 52 on the Hudson for a three-week cruise to the Caribbean. Advertized as an excursion into mystical group self-consciousness, the cruise-the first on this ship since its purchase by the Guru two months ago-is viewed with skepticism and alarm by virtually every religious and civic leader this newspaper has reached for comment. The general attitude was summed up by a spokesman for the Archdiocese of New York, who said, "The Guru is not a religious leader in any sense of the word. He is a shyster and an opportunist whose very sanity is open to serious question. To imagine him as the guiding light of 982 souls on dry land is morally and religiously frightening, but to imagine him as the guardian of their bodies as well-as master of a ship on the high seas-raises the question of the physical safety of his charges. The nature of his irrational antics in the past leads one to believe that the True Enlightenment will be saturated with drugs of every conceivable variety; that it will be the sight of numerous orgiastic rites and rituals, the scene of every type of irresponsible and harmful behavior imaginable, and in general a floating enclave of the devil himself. The spokesman added that Catholics are being strongly urged to shun this cruise.
"Since this newspaper has learned that the Guru himself, who reportedly holds a Captain's license issued by the Indian government in 1959, will be the ship's Master, it has offered the editorial opinion that embarkation on this cruise may well be unsafe. (See editorial page.) The editors do not feel themselves qualified to comment on the Guru's religious status, but point out that the highly respected Guru Thomas Maharanji, confirmed ascetic and Professor of Eastern Religion at Harvard, has offered his opinion: The Guru Baalow Nee,' says Maharanji, lias once more found an ingenious way to separate those who seek religious truth from the burdens of their earthly riches. Since, however, in my opinion at least, the Guru has approximately the religious insight of a horned toad, his cruise will at best be enlightening only to the pocket books of those who are foolish enough to pay the ridiculous amount of $2,500 for their passage.'"
Sean raised his eyebrows. "Heavy shit," he said. "I must admit… "
Virginia Vagina exploded. "Are you going to believe that crap? Listen, the Guru is the wisest man on the face of the earth! He's… "
"Yeah, yeah, sure," Sean said, "but I don't care about any of that. Well, what the hell, the only way he can fuck up is to sink the ship, right? And I doubt he'll do that. Besides, the Daily News fails to recognize one important thing. If everybody on this cruise but us has put out $2,500 for three weeks, it's going to be a pretty damned high-class clientele. There aren't going to be many loonies or convicts or whatever else anyone might be afraid of. Anyhow, we're going."
"Doesn't scare me," John said. "If I spent nine months in the Nam and didn't get my balls blown off m just bet no Guru's going to do that for me.'
"I'll tell you something," Joe said. "The Guru interests me. I've heard some of the shit he's said, seen him on TV once, and I'm not sure he's the slightest bit nuts. I haven't figured out what he is yet, but some of the shit he says makes a hell of a lot of sense. Maybe it's the philosopher in me finding subtleties that aren't there, but I'm willing to take a little chance to find out."
"Yeah," Andrea agreed. "He makes sense to me too." But she wasn't about to tell anyone why.
"Ok," Joanna concluded. Tuck it. If you're all going I sure as hell won't be alone, and to tell you the truth, if the old Guru doesn't find an iceburg to run into in the Caribbean, it sounds like it could be a real gas. Count me in."