James Johnson presented himself to the stunning hostess at The Floating Palace, one of the most expensive restaurants in Manhattan, who informed him that his guest had already been seated. Surprised that she had not waited for him, James quickly crossed the restaurant to see his beloved drinking the second half of an expensive champagne.
Every table had seats attached, and together they hovered and slowly rotated several inches over the floor, giving off a low humming vibration that guests found soothing. They reminded James of round bumper boats that rammed each other in giant pools at mini golf courses. It always surprised James how many people enjoyed eating while floating, and were willing to pay several times a conventional meal for the privilege.
Over everyone’s heads rotated a 3D hologram of our solar system. Every time astronomers found another tiny moon orbiting one of the gas giants, the restaurant updated its software to keep their image accurate. They bragged that they were the only restaurant in the world that employed a full time astronomer. Worlds larger than Pluto floated slowly near the walls while the Sun dominated the middle of the dining room. Thousands of tiny reflectors on the walls represented the Oort Cloud. The one kilometer wide asteroid expected to strike Earth in 127 years ominously flashed red as Jupiter’s gravity well flung it past Mars.
As always, James stopped below Earth to admire the Ganymed Space Port — the asteroid that the Space Future Corporation re-orbited around the planet. Its highly elliptical orbit swung several thousand kilometers from Earth, then made its way halfway to the Moon. The mag-lev catapult they were building on its surface would soon fling people and millions of tons of cargo to Mars, Mercury, and the Moon. The sight of this miracle hardened his cock like a billion bucks.
"Pristina!" he said with a giant smile, giving the gorgeous blonde a big kiss before carefully climbing onto the cushioned bench across from her. An artificial candle, secured to the middle of their table for two, changed colors every few seconds.
"Hello, James," she said simply.
"What's wrong, sweetheart? Your text said we needed to talk."
"Oh, nothing. Everything." She would not make eye contact with him.
"Honey, I will soon be your husband, so you can tell me anything."
Pristina downed her glass and poured another. "I can't go through with it."
"The honeymoon on Ganymed?" Quivering in fear, his voice flew an octave higher. "But, darling, those tickets are non-refundable."
"I tried to tell you before: I can't go into space. I get sick on Space Mountain, so how the hell am I going to orbit one thousand miles above Earth?"
"It's kilometers, sweetie, not miles, and those non-refundable tickets cost $1 million. Each. And that's after my discount for being an early investor."
"I told you I can't go!" she yelled, startling the guests. "So stop pressuring me."
James held out his hands. "All right. Calm down. We'll think of something."
"Stop telling me to calm down!" She jumped off her seat so abruptly that her flawless tits bounced heavenly under her sheer red gown. "Going into space is a dream for you, but a nightmare for me." She pulled off her massive engagement ring and threw it on the table. "I'm sorry, James, but I cannot marry you. We just want very different things."
Her outburst drew every eye and ear in the enormous room. Everyone, of course, recognized Pristina from the society pages. She got more press than Lindsey Lohan on her millionth drug scandal. Waiters stopped in their tracks to give them hard looks. James noticed the manager stop in mid-conversation with Senator Franklin to study the situation.
James never felt more embarrassed in his life. Pristina had the looks of a supermodel, but the temperament of a spoiled rich girl who couldn’t understand why she couldn’t always get what she wanted. He hoped the manager didn’t ban him from his favorite restaurant.
Pristina flung her hair back and left, gathering her dignity as she went. On her way, however, she halted in mid-stride to glare at another customer, before storming off.
Stunned, James could only stare at her back in horror until she disappeared. But then he locked eyes with a beautiful brunette across the way.
"Gina?" he asked, astonished that she was already here. Even after twenty years, she stood out in a crowd. He had a crush on her ever since high school. Every eye in the restaurant now turned to her, making her blush. She wanted nothing more than to disappear under the tablecloth. "Holy crap! Hi. How are you?"
The head waiter growled at his attempt to talk across four tables.
"Oh, sure." James gestured to Gina, "can I join you?"
The lady looked frozen, but her daughter waved him over as if it was totally normal. She seemed to enjoy his embarrassment. Eager to end the public scrutiny, James grabbed the champagne bottle and hopped over, sizing up the daughter. Geez, they looked like sisters. He sat down in their booth and scooted over to minimize his visibility.
"Thank you for saving me. That was so humiliating,” he said to the girl while pouring her some bubbly. “I'm James Johnson."
“Jasmine. Nice to meet you, James. How do you know my mom?”
“We went to high school together. I actually played football with your dad. Together we broke a few school records. You probably don’t remember me since it’s been three years, but I attended his funeral.”
Jasmine studied his face as her mother grew uneasy. “Oh, yeah! You’re the guy who insisted on dropping a football in his grave.”
James nodded. “When we won the state championship, everyone on the team signed the football and gave it to me as the team captain. But your dad also wanted it because he scored the winning touchdown, so I promised I’d give it to him one day. The funeral was the first time I’d seen him since high school. I felt bad that I didn’t give it to him earlier.”
“Dad was pretty proud of his football years.”
“We made a pretty good team. I could throw and he could catch. Your mom was our best cheerleader before she got pregnant.”
Gina cut in. “I was the best damn cheerleader after the birth, too. And at least I didn’t drop out of school like other sixteen year old girls.”
Jasmine remembered something. “Wait! If you were the football captain, then you and mom were voted prom king and queen!”
James blushed. “Yeah, that didn’t go over well with your dad. I didn’t even want to be nominated, but we just won the championship, and people were pretty juiced.”
“Did the king and queen get any royal action?” Jasmine joked, making sexual gestures with her hands.
“Jasmine!” her mother scolded her.
Surprised at their strong reactions to her weak joke, the girl studied their faces. “No fucking way! I was just kidding. You guys got it on? Dad must have flipped.”
They both shrank in their seats. The girl could read between lines like a book. Usually women couldn’t understand him no matter how slowly he yelled. Just the other day, Pristina asked him in a bewildered voice: “No? What do you mean, no? James, I just don’t understand!”
“Your dad wanted to be prom king real bad so, in revenge, he seduced my girlfriend, Marcy Denardo, at a party. Granted, Marcy didn’t need much seducing when she drank, but still. Your mom found out and got some revenge sex.”
“That’s right,” the girl remembered. “Mom, you once told me that you seduced dad’s best friend to punish him for cheating.”
James coughed uncomfortably and studied the stars on the ceiling. “That wasn’t me.”
Jasmine gave her mom a hard look. “I’m confused. Did you two do it or not?”
This was not going as James hoped, but Gina was not helping at all, so he twisted the knife. “She got to me eventually.”
Mom defended her whoring around: “I punished your dad for not marrying me like he promised. He lied about wearing a condom, so the least he could do is man up to his responsibilities. I warned him I would fuck his friends until he fulfilled his promise. If I didn’t threaten to seduce his dad, he would never have married me, you would have grown up without a father, and we would have been forever poor.”
“So that’s why grandpa looks at you like that! He thought he was going to get some.”
James fake-coughed again.
“Mother, did you fuck grandpa?”
“I was drunk and vulnerable when your dad died. And he was strong and insistent.”
“Mom! How big a slut were you?”
James patted Gina on the arm and laughed. “Pretty big! Her tits stayed larger after your birth, making her the hottest girl in school.”
“Marcy was way hotter,” Gina corrected him.
“Well, you were the hottest girl over five feet tall, then.”
Jasmine kept staring at her mother, suddenly seeing her in a totally new light. “Mom, what’s the wildest thing you ever did?”
Gina didn’t say anything, but couldn’t help but smile as her eyes rolled up accessing a wonderful memory.
James answered for her. “I don’t know if it was her wildest moment, but your dad saw her do all six blacks on the team.”
Gina sighed at the memory and crossed her legs.
“Mom, did you just purr? James, I think the bitch just purred. Quick! Scratch her behind the ears.”
“In your mom’s defense, your dad thought she was bluffing.”
“I feel so tame,” Jasmine said, suddenly sad. “I’ve never even had a threesome.”
“Would you like one? How far are you willing to go?” he asked.
Jasmine had to think that over. “I honestly don’t know. You’ve obviously been around. What do you recommend?”
“I think monogamy is easier after you’ve tried everything else because then you no longer have to wonder. Orgies, for example, have never lived up to my expectations.”
“Jesus, James.” Jasmine had to fan herself with her menu. “At this rate, you’re not gonna have to get me drunk to take advantage of me. But, out of curiosity, what’s the craziest shit you’ve ever done?”
“Six black football players,” Gina revealed, getting her revenge.
“Oral doesn’t count!” James protested.
“Then you did three of them.”
James wilted, fearing this would turn Jasmine off. “Like I said, orgies have never lived up to my expectations.”
Far from disgusted, she wanted to know more. “Why would dad just watch you two do six black guys?”
“Oh, he didn’t just watch,” James warned her. “He fully satisfied his curiosity.”
“No fucking way!” Jasmine’s hand covered her mouth. Then she shook off her shock. “You guys are just fucking with me!”
“No,” James insisted. “I still have the video. Camera phones were grainy in those days, but you can still see what’s going on.”
“I’ll give you my ass if you give me that video.”
“Done.”
James held out his hand and Jasmine, smiling, fucking shook it.
“You’ve decided to fuck him already?” her mother protested.
Jasmine slapped her mother’s hand. “You were the one telling me how hot he was when he walked in, as if you didn’t even know him!”
“I wanted to know if you found him attractive.”
“Well, now you know. Seriously, James, you must really work out.”
“I’ve gotten back into great shape this past year.”
“Did you like the taste of jism?” she asked him mischievously.
“I wouldn’t pick it off a menu, but it’s better than asparagus, yet worse than broccoli.”
The girl clapped her hands and roared with laughter. “I will never look at vegetables the same again.”
“The waiter’s coming. Can we order now?” Gina begged them, eager to change the subject.
James ordered halibut and advised the ladies to get the double lobster, but this didn’t buy them much time because Jasmine took out her smartphone and Googled him.
“You guys are still fucking, aren’t you?” she asked casually, as if inquiring about the weather. “God knows she needed some deep dicking after dad died.”
“I was lonely after that drunk killed your father,” mom confessed. “I waited two long years before giving in to James.”
“I’m that resistible? That kind of flattery won’t get you anywhere,” James warned her.
“Wait! You run a hedge fund?” Jasmine asked him, looking up from her smartphone. “It says here you’re worth like a billion bucks. I get to fuck a billionaire?”
“I am heavily invested in the Chimborazo orbital launcher and the Ganymed Space Port. If things go well, then these companies will go public, and I’ll finally get a return on my investments. But until then my bank account is hardly flush.”
Jasmine kept studying their faces, trying to piece it together. “Is my mom fucking you for money?”
James laughed, but her mother smoldered. “I am not a prostitute! A slut in high school, sure, but not a prostitute.”
“No, your mom is not fucking me for money.”
“But you are helping her out, aren’t you? I know dad had a lot of debt when that drunk driver crossed the center divider.”
“I felt bad that I never made up with him, and he did let me cum down his throat twice, so I offered to pay your mortgage payments until you guys got back on your feet. Suffering the loss of a loved one is stressful enough without worrying about losing your home.”
“And he paid your tuition.”
“And you never told me?” Jasmine chided her mother. “How many mortgage payments did he end up paying?”
For once James was not forthcoming, so her mother answered. “He fucking paid off the mortgage and wouldn’t even tell me. I never would have known if the bank had not sent me the fucking deed. That’s when I started fucking him. I couldn’t think of a better way to show my appreciation. A Hallmark wouldn’t quite cut it.”
“You paid for our house?” Jasmine asked in shock.
“Just what was left on the mortgage. I had a good year and I believe in showing God that I appreciate his blessings. When you owe God big time, you can’t just slip him a Benjamin and call it a day.”
“You lost me on the God stuff.”
“I believe that those who appreciate their blessings continue to get blessed, and that those who do not, do not. So, when life is very good to me, I feel an obligation to spread it around. I don’t like giving to big charities because most of their donations go towards overhead, so I just look around me. And I never have to look very far or very long.”
“How much have you given away?” the girl wanted to know.
“I donate about 10 % of my income.”
“So how much do you give away?”
“In great years I give away several million.”
Jasmine found that hilarious, slamming the floating table so hard that she nearly unbalanced it. “How do they make these damn things float, anyway?”
“Huge magnets under the floor,” he answered.
She made a face. “Crap. Now it doesn’t feel magical anymore.”
“It will actually feel more magical on your next visit.”
“Dude, this is way beyond my price range. If mom didn’t win two free meals in an Internet contest, we would have never come here.”
James and Gina now looked uncomfortable again. Jasmine searched the vibes they gave off. “Ah, fuck! You invited us?”
“No. I invited her. You see, Pristina started acting distant ever since I bought the Ganymed tickets for our honeymoon. I think she would have married me otherwise. She expressed interest in going into orbit before, but apparently that was only to humor me because I am such a space nut. I grew up wanting to be an astronaut, but my father was in finance, so I went into finance.”
“Why did her parents name Pristina after a computer font?” Jasmine asked.
James laughed. “Her mother was a famous Albanian beauty queen, so she named her daughter after the largest city in Kosovo so she would never forget her roots. The Pristina International Airport actually has a giant welcome sign with my ex’s image on it, showing all the cleavage I paid for.”
“You bought her tits?” Jasmine asked.
“And the ungrateful bitch still wouldn’t swallow me.”
“Buy me tits and I’ll fucking swallow you!” Jasmine laughed when she said it, but everyone understood that she fucking meant it. The old couple in the next floating table didn’t doubt it either.
“Jimmy has a beautiful cock,” Gina added, before blushing. “It doesn’t bend like a banana like your father’s.”
“Mom!”
“It’s true. Look! I have pictures.”
Mom whipped out her phone and the two of them starting ooo-ing and aaa-ing while James gestured to the waiter for more champagne. Minutes after his fiancee broke up with him, he didn’t expect his mistress to share nudes of him with her daughter. Her really hot daughter. Jasmine was just like her mom, only more so. Which meant his crush on Gina would be nothing compared to how he felt towards Jasmine.
“So why wasn’t I invited?” Jasmine demanded.
“I expected Pristina to dump me and assumed I would need some self-pity sex to help me get over it. Plus I’ve always wanted to take Gina here. I have no idea why your mom brought you.”
Although a few thoughts crossed his mind.
The two of them stared at Gina, and the silence increasingly grew unbearable.
“Mom, you gonna tell us why you brought me along? This man — who paid off our house — was expecting to get laid. Now I feel like a third wheel.”
Gina finally reached her breaking point. The dam burst and everything spilled out.
“Jimmy needs a good wife! That shallow, materialistic fashion-obsessed airhead would have hired servants to do her fucking job. He wants kids, yet I had my tubes tied, so I spent the last year searching for someone worthy of him. Without luck. You know he wouldn’t even date my sister? Says she unfuckable. Sure, she went overboard on the plastic surgery, but her tits are harder than cement.”
“She does have incredible boobies,” Jasmine agreed. “Why didn’t you, at least, fuck her?”
James sighed. God, this was going to sound so lame. “I didn’t want to be unfaithful to Pristina.”
“But fucking my mother was okay?”
“We stopped fucking once I proposed. Call me old fashioned.”
“Okay. You’re old fashioned.”
They all drank as one.
“So why me?” Jasmine asked her mother.
“You’re self-absorbed like most teenagers, but at least you’re pretty, smart, and hard working. And don’t even pretend that he isn’t a major upgrade from the boys you have been seeing since you started community college.”
“Pretty? I can’t hold a candle to that babe.”
“Actually,” James interrupted, “Pristina is not as attractive as she looks. She wasn’t marrying me for my money, per se, since her father is loaded, and she still wanted to marry up. Someone richer than her father, in order to one-up her mother. But I doubt she ever loved me for me.”
“Yeah,” Jasmine replied. “I think she’s a bitch, too. Did you see her throw her hate on me when she walked by? It’s like she knew I would be fucking you tonight.”
“Maybe I should send her video of us having sex.”
“Oh, you are baaaad,” Jasmine said approvingly. “We’re gonna get along just fine.”
“If you really want to get back at her — and I sure as hell do — then I should get you perfect breasts, kick-ass outfits, and really expensive jewelry. Then I can take you out on the social circuit. If you one-up my ex, I’ll make it worth your while. Plus, I bet the fashion show reporters, celebrity gossip bloggers, and sordid tabloids would love to hear you tell them how excited you are to fuck me in space.”
Jasmine’s eyes glazed over just as the Doomsday Asteroid passed overhead. “I will swallow you every morning.”
Now James was the one who had to cross his legs.
“Mom, did this bitch just purr?” Jasmine asked, reaching over to scratch James behind the ear.
“Jasmine,” her mother said disapprovingly.
“But, mom, I thought you wanted me to give him some.”
“No, I want you to give him it all. He doesn’t need you to drain his balls. He needs a wife who will take care of him. You should see his empty condo. I can’t understand how bachelors live like that.”
“I work a lot,” James protested.
“You wouldn’t work so much if you had a horny hottie waiting for you at home.”
“True.”
“And you better be a good fucking wife for him!” her mother demanded, her feelings for James apparently more than sexual.
“Mom, you’ve known him for twenty years, so I have no doubt you believe he will make a good husband, but he’s not going to marry someone he just met. No matter how perfect her tits.”
“Oh, yeah, um, about that. Jasmine, the billion dollars that magazine said I’m worth? I only make that if the Ganymed Space Port becomes profitable. And to become profitable, it needs favorable publicity, so the company that owns the rock plans to document an R-rated reality show to air free on the Internet.”
“You’re gonna be on TV?” Jasmine asked, clearly jealous. “Oh, I am so going to swallow every pez from your dispenser.”
“You see, that’s the catch. The company chose ten rich couples who will marry in Riobamba, Ecuador, then spend their honeymoon in space. I can only go to Ganymed for the reality show if I am one of those who marries. And I just lost my fiancee.
“I have a lot riding on this. Hell, I have everything riding on this. As a large investor, I need to see for himself what works best on the space port. Consequential decisions have to be made, like how much we should mine the interior for precious metals? How many underground hotels should we build in the holes we excavate? How can we speed up construction of the maglev catapult? What should be exploit and colonize first — the Moon, Mercury, or Mars? The Moon alone has $5 quadrillion worth of helium-3, a rare element virtually absent on Earth.”
“I’m sorry. Quadrillion? Is that like a bazillion?” the girl asked.
“After million, billion, and trillion comes quadrillion. $5 quadrillion is $5000 billion. Helium-3 could fuel fusion power plants so cheap they would put coal, oil, natural gas, and nuclear power plants out of business, which could reverse global warming and save millions in pollution-related deaths. Electricity would become too cheap to meter. Fusion power plants do not pollute, contaminate, radiate, produce radioactive waste, or contribute to global warming. The lunar surface has enough helium-3 to power all of the world’s electrical needs for the next thousand years. Only twelve humans — all white and male — have ever stepped on the Moon. Stayed married to me and you may one day kick some lunar dust.”
“And weigh one-sixth as much? That’s better than dieting!”
“A few quadrillion dollars worth of metallic asteroids containing precious metals pass relatively close by, so some investors want the company to soft-land them on Ganymed. Current plans are to push them into the Moon to mine them there, once the catapult makes getting to the lunar surface easier.”
“I don’t want to be too honest, but you had me at big tits,” the hottie remarked.
“The military would pay us billions if we let them install a speed-of-light laser powered by a Toshiba nuclear battery, like one that powers a small town in Alaska. We already have several nuclear batteries to stabilize its orbit. Weaponizing a privately-owned orbital rock gets them around international treaties prohibiting weapons in orbit, but it also adds a lot of political problems. Mining a 32 kilometer rock in orbit is very expensive, so we certainly could use the money, but we may need public support even more. We can become the world’s most expensive tourist location, or we can install a weapon that can wipe out nations, but we can’t do both.”
“I can’t believe you’ve gotten me interested in space policy,” Jasmine admitted. “Much less math. Keep this up and I’ll study geology.”
“As a big early investor, I have a major say in these issues. Yet I need to know first hand what I’m talking about before I start arguing with management. I need the credibility that only comes from seeing things in person. And my only chance is by becoming one of the first twenty tourists to visit the rock. Thousands of people have already put down deposits for the later trips and I cannot afford to wait several years.”
James put her hand in his and looked deep into her eyes. “Help me sell Ganymed. The sooner humanity gets into space, the sooner the Doomsday Asteroid no longer threatens the survival of humanity. Critics say we cannot afford to go into space. I say we cannot afford not to.”
They stared into each other’s eyes for a really long time, lost in what they found in each other. Jasmine forgot to breathe. She had never felt this way before.
When the waiter arrived with their food, he surprised the shit out of them. They shook themselves out of their hypnotic trance and examined their food. When he left, Jasmine had finally recovered.
“You’re fucking amazing,” she concluded. “Let me see if I got this straight. I get to be your wife, go into space, become rich and famous, and help you decide the fate of humanity in space?”
“And you get big tits,” her mother added.
“Yes,” James said with a smile. “Don’t forget the tits.”
“Well, what’s the downside?”
“You have to sign a pre-nup, so you need to stay married to me or it all goes away. Except the big tits.”
“Yeah, but what’s the downside?”
“Our age difference doesn’t bother you? I am sixteen year older than you. ”
“Let me see how old you are.”
She scooted closer, grabbed his head with both hands, and pulled him closer. Alarmed, he found her eyes mesmerizing him as his lips brushed against hers. Then he fucking melted. Like those new 3D holograms that do virtual lap dances in the privacy of wherever the fuck you want, Jasmine had one of those incredible faces that imprinted on him like a baby duck.
Then their tongues met and she kissed him like a Taser. Electricity shot down his spine. Wow! He hadn’t felt this alive since he lost his virginity. Kissing Jasmine was like biting into a ripe peach. He drank her like a cold beer on a hot beach.
When they finally paused, she gave him her verdict: “You ain’t fucking old. Shit. You are light years from old. Your ex must be out of this world. Astronomers will need telescopes to find the planet she’s living on.”
“So you can see yourself marrying me?” he asked.
“I can see myself sucking you off every morning for the rest of my life.”
“The wedding is on Christmas. You have until then to change your mind.”
“Fuck you. I’m not gonna change my mind. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.”
For someone he just met, he liked her so fucking much. He dug into his pocket for the ring and slipped it onto her finger.
Then I guess we should make it official. Jasmine, will you fucking marry me?”
Her eyes opened wide and her mouth hung open. Her finger now sported a diamond big enough to pass for a drill bit. She felt dizzy with joy.
“Yes, James, I will fucking marry you.”
Gina burst into tears and the three of them hugged over their seafood.