Doctor Mathew Bender had removed the bulky body cast from Bill. He was just finishing an exhaustive physical examination. His silence seemed foreboding to Bill, and he asked, nervously, “Well, Doctor… am I ready to go home…?”
“I don’t see any reason why not… It’s just as I’d thought earlier… the X-Ray studies show no damage… muscles were abused some… some bruises… and as far as I can tell there’s no nerve damage. Everything seems to be normal, and I think some mild exercises to start rebuilding muscle tone would be in order… walking will be good…” the doctor said.
Turning away, he started to write out a prescription for a mild pain killer. He went on, “I’ll arrange for your discharge from the hospital.”
Bill was thoughtful, wrestling with indecision. He made up his mind, cleared his throat and said, “Doctor… there’s just one thing…”
Doctor Bender looked back at him. “Yes…? What’s that?” he asked, absently.
“Well… I’ve always been… pretty virile and…” He stopped short.
“And what?’
“Well… ever since I’ve been in the hospital ten or eleven days… I haven’t had an erection!”
The doctor smiled, reassuringly, “Nothing to worry about there!” he said. “As soon as you get home… I think that very lovely wife of yours will be able to change that! It’s quite normal… your body’s energies are involved with healing.”
But, what if she can’t?”
“I don’t think it’ll be a problem!” the doctor stated, flatly. “But there are many techniques she could use.”
“Such as…?”
“Manual or oral stimulation… or both… different positions… or you might read some of the so-called pornographic books. The descriptions and pictures can be very stimulating and educational… I recommend them to many married couples who are having problems.”
“Faye won’t go the oral route… she…”
“Many women won’t,” Doctor Bender observed, “until they learn. Here, I’ll give you the title of a book. It’s an illustrated sex manual… explains in detail the best and most highly stimulative types of sexual activity.” He wrote the title on a piece of paper and handed it to Bill. “If both of you read it… it’ll be better!”
“Bill looked at the title of the book. “This is pornography…?”
“I didn’t say that!” Doctor Bender snapped. “There are some misguided people who would prohibit any kind of sex instruction! They would call it that!”
“I see… How about the other books… and magazines?”
“If they help people to enjoy sex more there’s nothing wrong with them! I read them, myself… and there hasn’t been a single psychological study that’s ever shown they do any harm!” the doctor said.
“All right… I’ll have Faye get this one for us,” Bill said. “It might help..
“There’s no doubt about it, Mr. Wright!” Doctor Bender told him.”… And, you’ve nothing to worry about… really!”
Faye brought Bill home that same afternoon to an immaculately clean apartment. She had vases of cut flowers for decorations, and on sentimental impulse had constructed a little sign that said: WELCOME HOME BILL!
He told her how nice everything was and that he was glad to be home. She glided into his arms and lifted her lips to him. “Oh, Bill… it’s been so long!”
Clinging to him, as he kissed her, she felt the fires of her desire begin to rekindle in her loins. It felt so good to be there, in his arms, again. Suddenly, she knew she wanted him to make love to her. Now, that he was home, everything would be all right. She just knew it had to be!
Their kiss was not stimulating to him. He broke it and said, “I’d sure like to have a cup of good homemade coffee… for a change…”
It was a small disappointment to her, but she went into the kitchen, cheerfully, to make up a pot of his favorite brand of coffee; additionally, she fixed a tray of cookies.
While he waited, Bill sat, stiffly, uncomfortably, in his preferred chair; after a few moments, he hobbled to the kitchen door. “I’ve got to lie down, Faye… so why don’t you bring the coffee into the bedroom when it’s done…?”
“Of course, darling,” she smiled. She went into the bedroom and got out his pajamas and dressing robe.
“I’m feeling pretty tired…” he explained.
She could understand that… but she wondered: Maybe he’s trying to tell me he doesn’t feel like d-doing it… yet! Then, she hung his clothes in the closet as he dressed in his pajamas and crawled, painfully, between the clean sheets to sink down into the soft mattress of the big bed, gratefully.
He drank the coffee and ate a couple of the tasty cookies she brought on a tray to him. “That sure beats that hospital brew!” he told her. “That’s one thing I sure did miss!”
“I missed you, Bill… most of all!” she said, kicking off her shoes and stretching out beside him. She kissed him, this time, with hot passion.
Bill mumbled into her mouth, “I missed you, too…”
Again, as she had done in the hospital, her hand crept under the sheets and found the still flaccid shaft of his penis lying limply between his legs. It was somewhat cool to her touch, but hopefully she milked the heavy foreskin back over the soft head of it, her fingers teasing the corona; then, she grasped it in her hand and began to squeeze the head and part of the shaft, rhythmically. There was no sign of life there.
Finally, he twisted his mouth aside and said, “It’s no use Faye… there’s nothing there, yet!”
“Did you talk to the doctor… a-about not…?”
“Yeah… I did. He seemed to think there was no problem…”
“Did he make any suggestions?”
“Well… yes, he did,” Bill admitted, “but I know you wouldn’t like them… since you never have, yet!”
“What do you mean…?”
“Use your mouth… to bring me up!” he said.
“Ugh! The doctor said that…?”
“Yes… he also gave me the name of a book to get.” He showed her the title Doctor Bender had written out for him. “He said it would help… and we’re both supposed to read it.”
“Where do I buy a book like this?” Faye asked.
“I suppose any one of the places down on the avenue that has adult books and magazines…”
“I-I couldn’t go into one of those places!.” she gasped.
“Why?”
“All those books… and leering old goats that hang out in them! Why… I just couldn’t!”
“That’s the only way we’ll get that book!” he told her. “I sure as hell can’t go… so you’ll have to!”
“You sure this is what the d-doctor wants us to do?”
“Positive… look at the handwriting on his prescription… and compare them!” he said. “You’ll have to get that prescription filled anyway… and the nearest place to buy that book is just about a half block away from the drugstore!”
“All right… I’ll get the book… but none of that far-out stuff! Ugh!” she shivered.
Picking up the prescription for Bill, Faye walked out of the drugstore down toward the Boulevard News, a small store building, wedged in between a liquor store and a pawn shop. The plate glass window had been painted over, completely. The sign said: BOULEVARD NEWS, Magazines, newspapers, books. Below in smaller letters: Movie Arcade. On the door: Adults only! No one under 21 admitted. To herself, she thought: Well! This must be the place! I suppose Bill’s been in here… he seemed to know exactly where it was!
Faye drew a deep breath, sidled around two men standing near the entrance and pushed through the door into the store. Glancing around, she noted there were six or seven men standing about browsing through the magazines and books. The explicit nudity on most of the covers repelled her. The clerk at the counter ignored her. There was an almost dead silence in the place. Near the rear, she saw a curtain, over which a sign proclaimed: Movie Arcade, 25 cents. She moved forward a few steps trying to locate the type of book the doctor had written down for Bill. Her eyes swept around the room, searchingly.
Then, she saw them! They were soft plastic or rubber… and extremely realistic! She had heard of such things before… but she had never seen one. The glass showcase, behind which the clerk stood was filled with dildoes. She knew, instinctively, their use. The idea repulsed her. Her face flamed crimson, and she glanced, nervously, at the counterman. He was engrossed in reading a paperback book; apparently, he had still not noticed her. Ugh.! How awful! She had a wild urge to turn and flee.
Regaining control, she approached the counter. The clerk looked up. “Yes…?” He was completely disinterested.
“Do you have a copy of this… b-book?” she asked, showing him the. title.
“We’ve got one left… I think…” He reached behind him and took a black-bound book from a shelf. It was sealed in a plastic cover. Putting the book down on the counter in front of her, he went on. “It’s one of our best items.”
“How much is it?” she asked.
“Ten dollars…”
She gulped once and dipped into her purse for two fives. The counterman slipped the book into a paper bag and asked, “That all, Ma’am?”
“Yes…”
“Thank you… come back, again…” he said, handing her the register receipt, as she turned away.
Gaining the street, Faye heaved a sigh of relief and walked rapidly up the street to her parked car. The thought struck her that the sealed plastic cover on the book was rather like buying a pig in a poke. There was no possibility of examining the merchandise before buying.
When she was seated in the car, her curiosity bubbled over, and she removed the book from the paper sack. Ripping off the plastic cover she thumbed it open. It was richly illustrated in full color photographs. The first picture she saw depicted a man and woman in sexual intercourse, the man’s hardened organ sunk deeply up inside her. The angle from which the picture had been taken, from behind the man and angled down at the woman’s naked vagina, left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Faye blushed and snapped the book closed. Ugh! How do they get away with publishing junk like that?
She gave the book to Bill. “Well… here it is!” she said. “It seems like a pretty expensive prescription… it cost ten dollars!”
Bill flipped the book open. “This is pretty good!” he exclaimed. “Maybe the old doc’s got the right idea!” He began reading and was soon completely engrossed in it.
Faye went about her household chores, but when she looked in on him an hour later, she found him fast asleep, the open book lying across his chest. Picking up the sex manual, she riffled through it, rapidly, before placing it on the bedside table; then she pulled the sheet up over her husband’s chest and left him to sleep until supper time. What she had seen of the book left her cold. I suppose I’ll eventually have to read it… to keep peace in the family.
She didn’t look forward to it; it seemed unnecessary. I don’t know what Doctor Bender intended… but it must not have interested Bill if he could go to sleep reading it.
At the evening meal, Bill managed to hobble to the table. He didn’t have much of an appetite, and he seemed to be moody and morose.
Conversationally, Faye asked him, “Did that sex book give you a charge?”
“No,” he grunted, “I’ve seen all that stuff before… and read similar books. They’re pretty much the same!”
“Some of that I glanced at seems to be pretty far out!”
“Not really… I’ve done- most of that… already…”
“Oh?” she queried, arching an eyebrow.
“Before we were married!” he snapped. “I think that’s part of the trouble, right now… you’d never go along with doing things that are really stimulating! We’re in a rut!”
“If we are… it’s a pretty good rut!” she flared.
“Yeah… but you’ve never even tried… that’s why you ought to read that book… maybe you’d learn how to please a man… really turn me on!”
It was an old argument that kept cropping up between them, but Faye didn’t really want to argue; especially since Bill had just come home from the hospital, so she backed off from it.
“All right… I’ll read it…” She made her own mental reservations about it, though:… But, I’m not necessarily going to do what it says!
“Seriously, Faye…” he said, his face drawn. “I don’t know what’s wrong. with me… why I can’t get an erection… but I’m going to need your help… and understanding.”
“Oh, Bill… you’re really worried… Aren’t you!”
“Yeah… sort of… I even tried to get a hard-on using my hand… but nothing happened… and even the pictures in that book that should have had my cock standing straight up… there was nothing!” He got up from the table and sat down in the living room while she cleared up the dinner dishes. Morosely, he sat there for a few moments, then selected three or four books from the bookcase and hobbled back to bed, deciding he’d rather read than watch television. Anyway, he felt better when he was lying in bed; his back didn’t hurt as much.
In an attempt to fulfill her promise to Bill, Faye sat down with the sex manual Doctor Bender had recommended. She opened it and began to peruse its contents, rather haphazardly skipping about, looking at a picture here and reading a snatch there. A few sections she read, completely. The book dealt with methods of sexual stimulation (illustrated), manual and oral, indicating the areas of the body involved, various positions of intercourse (each illustrated by at least one photograph), homosexual techniques, expressions of Lesbian love, along with complete descriptions of orgasm in both men and women. It was written in a scholarly manner; she found nothing objectionable in the text. It was the depiction of explicit sexual acts that revolted her, but she looked at them, feeling duty-bound to do so. Bill seems to think so much depends on me… and I know, from what it says here… that if a woman uses her… m-mouth… it’s very stimulating to a man but I-I couldn’t bring myself to do that!
She never would have dreamed it could happen… but as she read, she realized that tiny electric sparks of sexual arousal flashed in her loins; then she became aware of the moisture wetting her inner lips and the opening of her vagina. Uncomfortable from the tumescence in her genitals, she crossed and uncrossed her legs. Her panties seemed to. irritate and stimulate her at the same time. Oh, no! I’m getting all worked up… and there doesn’t seem to be any chance that Bill will be able to… to m-make l-love to me!
Putting the book aside, she rose and went into the bedroom, determined that she would find some way to arouse him, short of those abhorrent practices she just couldn’t bring herself to consider. Ugh! That picture showing a woman with almost all of that big thing-in her mouth… why it must have been halfway down her throat!
She found her husband propped up in bed… asleep, again. Deciding not to awaken him, yet, she gathered up her things to take into the bathroom with her, selecting a daringly revealing nightgown she, had-not worn… because it was so sheer and sexy. Then, she remembered. Bill had bought it for her. He had told her, when he gave it to her, that it was as much for him as for her. He’s always wanted me to be… a sort of sexy wanton… but I just can’t let myself g-go…
In the bathroom, she turned on the shower, adjusting the spray to a comfortable warmth and began undressing. Her state of arousal seemed to be increased by the act of disrobing; there was a certain sensuousness pervading her as her clothing slid from her body garment by garment. The movements were like a series of silky caresses over her sensate body.
Standing nude, finally, she looked down the length of her lovely body as insistent keening sensations stabbed at her loins and breasts. Then she noted her nipples were distended and hard, spearing out pink and tender from the darker, crinkled areolas.
Unconsciously, her hands moved up to cup and lift the fullness of her perfectly mounding breasts, her own hands cool yet prickly on them, as she massaged and kneaded them with her fingers, the smooth, alabaster flesh pliant and sensate, and she began to feel an increased tension of sexual need. Those tiny sparks of desire in her loins were being boosted in voltage until they arced slashingly in her, her body demanding its rapturous release. Oh… I’m only making it worse… for myself… and there’s nothing… I-I can do about it… as long as Bill can’t… d-do it to me!
Her hands dropped away from the smooth, white hemispheres of her breasts, and she looked at her reflection in the mirror, young, vibrant, beautiful… and needful. A horrible thought crossed her mind; she had never considered it a possibility: Oh, God… what If Bill’s never able to do it… again!
She had, purposely, kept her own optimism at a high level to counter Bill’s more-or-less hopeless attitude. Now, as it drained away from her, she was struck with the horror of a possible situation: The rest of her married life… without any sex, at all! Oh, no…!
A rush of desire swept over her, and her hands went, again, to her throbbing breasts, her fingers plucking at the sensitive nipples, as in her imagination, she felt Bill’s mouth on them, sucking and nibbling there… as he always did. I’m too young to… to face not having anything… nothing at all…!
Caressingly, her hands moved down across the flat plane of her belly, smoothed into the inverted curve of her waist, then out over the swell of her hips to move in sensuous circles on the smoothly white globes of her buttocks; momentarily her hands were Bill’s hands, and she tried to imagine what it would be like… if he never did that, again. Even if I’m not as sexy as Bill wants me… I-I’ve come to orgasm enough t-to know… I-I need it… have to have it… pretty regular… and if Bill couldn’t do it… how could I ever get it… again?
And, then, uncontrolled, her hand crept to the triangle of her loins, covering the golden down, cupping it in her palm to squeeze tightly up against it, her middle finger going in, unconsciously, to find the sensitive, erect bud of her clitoris, hidden deeply in the fleshy folds of her cunt. Instant, flashingly erotic sensations seared her belly. It was the same delicious feeling Bill could produce in her with his finger… or the hardness of his erect penis.
Faye gasped; her mind reeled. Old prohibitions crowded in on her. It was wrong!… And the wrongness of it, in her mind… drubbed into her like old wive’s tales when she was a little girl, could not be squared with the needs of her youthful body. She took her hand away. Even if that stupid book does say there’s nothing wrong with it… I-I just couldn’t do that to myself!
The array of huge rubber penises she had seen displayed in the showcase, at the Boulevard News, where she had bought the sex manual, flashed through her mind. She saw them, again, clearly, standing straight up, literally dozens of the lifelike, fully erect cocks, some of them more huge than she could imagine any man being, and she was revulsed, again. Ugh! I suppose some women use those things t-to masturbate with… and bring themselves to orgasm!… But, she couldn’t imagine doing it, herself. I’ll just have to learn to get along without… I guess… if Bill doesn’t get well… With an effort of will, she tried to put her great need out of her mind.
Then, she stepped into the bathtub and closed the glass doors. The water was at the exact temperature she liked. It felt terribly good as it sprayed over her body. Business-like she took the bar of lightly perfumed soap and began to lather her body, running her hands, caressingly, but unconsciously so over her breasts, her abdomen, thighs, buttocks and, finally, her genitals. Desperately, she tried to ignore the erotic signals her body beamed to her.
She did ignore the sex messages, until she turned up the pressure to begin rinsing the soap off; then, as she faced the stinging shower, it seemed to caress her, and her body was alive to the lewd sensations it created. Then, she remembered:
She had read it in that book, tonight… but it had meant nothing then. Suddenly, she knew. She would do it. Certainly it was harmless and maybe it would work. impulsively, her hands trembling, she reached up to the shower head and twisted it off. Instantly, the stinging spray became a full, torrential stream of water. She leaned back, allowing the stream to strike her directly on the fleshy folds of her pussy. No… this isn’t right…! What did it say to do?
Remembering, after a moment, she lay down in the tub, spreading her legs wide and shifting her hips about, until the full stream of water was hitting against the pulsating shaft of her tiny clitoris. Both her hands, then, went to her pussy, one on either side, to spread the fleshy lips, slightly, exposing her cunt, nakedly, to the rushing stream. She would never have believed it possible. It began to feel so good… so wonderfully erotic, and I’m not doing… a-anything to myself… really… it’s just the water! 000oooohhhh!
Delicately delicious ecstasy began to envelope her, and she was lost in the complete enjoyment of it. She shivered and moaned aloud, uncontrollably, as her hips began to undulate upwards against the stream of water. “OOoooh, that’s wonderful…!”
Yes… the masturbatory effect of the water felt wonderful to her, but there was something missing. She needed more to bring her to that plateau of rapture that was the jumping off place for the mountain top of her orgasm. It’s not the same… as h-having Bill’s c-cock… deep up inside of me! She was instantly shocked and horrified that she had thought of it, and more so when she realized she had actually named it. It was a word she had, steadfastly, refused to say… even to herself.
Then, she spotted the white, plastic nozzle of her vaginal douche kit hanging with its long hose over the top of the shower enclosure. She had used it many times for its designed purpose. Now, she saw a different use for it. Reaching up she unscrewed the nozzle from the hose. Then, she held it in her hand for a moment, studying it, a feeling of shame flooding through her as she contemplated a new use for the implement. After all, it’s been in me lots of times…!
Not realizing that she was using it as a dildo, she inserted the smooth plastic nozzle into the warm, throbbing channel of her cunt, moving it in and out, vigorously; instinctively, she concentrated on the top of her cuntal passage where she felt the most sensation… But.. it’s too small! It’s not filling me… the way Bill’s cock does!
Desperately, she plunged the makeshift little cock in and out of her seething cunt… Feeling, knowing that her orgasm was there, just out of reach, tantalizing her. Oh, God… I I’ve got to have, s-something bigger… in me! I’m so close… so close to cumming… but I can’t yet!
She dropped the douche nozzle into the bathtub beside her. I’ve already gone this far… I-I might as well… Holding three of her fingers, rigidly, together, she plunged them into her needful, love-starved cunt. OOoooh! That’s it! Aaugh!
All of the prohibitions, taboos and chiding’s that could have been mustered would not have stopped her, at that moment. With closed eyes, she lay back in the steamy warmth of the bathtub, spreading her white, smoothly tapering thighs wider for greater access and ease, her own hand transformed, in her imagination, into Bill’s massive, rampaging cock.
She could feel the lubricious liquidity of her tender vaginal lining on her fingers as they moved in and out, rhythmically, the breadth of her three fingers feeling almost like the plunging cock-head Bill had driven into her so often.
Then, her other hand found the shaft of her sensitive, throbbing clitoris, and together both hands moved in unison, while ecstatically searing sensations swept over her, almost drowning her in soaring erotic rapture.
Faye was lost completely to her self indulgent, auto-erotic stimulation, and she revelled in it. It had been too long… too many days and nights that she had been denied her sexuality. Now, she felt almost the same… as if Bill were laboring over her, his muscular body driving his hard cock into her… and she was almost ready to cum. There was only one thing wrong: Oh, God… my fingers aren’t long enough… t-to reach all the way up inside… the way Bill’s cock does!
The array of realistic plastic cocks, the dildoes she had seen in the showcase popped into her mind, and she knew, suddenly, that if she had one, right at that instant, it would be right It would be the answer to her need… and her need was great! She had to cum.. now!
Increasingly the depth to which her plunging fingers reached, desperately, she drove her striving body, as her hips writhed in uncontrollable gyrations under her; then faster and faster she stroked herself… until, with a rush, her orgasm overcame her, convulsively. Her legs jerked out, splaying widely, her breath came, pantingly, and she kept her hand moving, wildly and recklessly for several more cunt-punishing, plundering strokes. Then, with one final plunge, her hips thrust up to meet her hand. AAAAAAAuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhh! I-It’s almost here! I’m c-cuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnggggg! AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhh!
With a sigh of satisfaction, Faye relaxed back into the bathtub, as wave after wave of orgasmic euphoria swept over her. I-I came! Oh! It feels so good… absolutely wonderful!… Almost the same… as if Bill had f-fucked me!
Suddenly, she sat bolt upright. I-I did it to myself!
She was shocked. She had been so involved that her conscious mind had been out of control. It was her body that demanded and got its release. She had masturbated herself to complete orgasm!… And, I actually thought that horrible word Bill’s always using! Dear God! It’s horrible… t-to think about it… I abused myself… and it’s wrong! Wrong!
Guilt and remorse crowded into her mind to negate the pleasure she had experienced but moments before, and she reached for the faucet handles, turned the stream of water off and stood to her feet. Determinedly, she screwed the shower head into place, turned the water on, again, and hastily finished her shower.
Quickly, she dried herself, not daring to look at her own beautifully luscious body, glowing with health and the aftermath of soaring, sexual satisfaction; then, clutching her dressing robe about her, she padded back into the bedroom. Bill was still asleep. Under no circumstances, now, she decided, would she awaken him.
Selecting one of her older, cover-up nightgowns, she shrugged it on over her head to hide the shame of her body from herself. It felt s-so good… for a little while… Why do I have to ruin it… by feeling so guilty about it?
Tenderly, she tucked Bill in, pulling up the bedclothes, comfortably, around him. He stirred once, turned to his side and settled back to sleep. Dear God… what can I do…? If Bill doesn’t get well… so he can make love to me… the right way… it would be more than I could take… and I d-don’t want to d-do it to myself… like I just did! I feel so bad… afterwards…
She snapped out the light and crawled into bed, but her mind would not stop mulling it all over… But, if Bill doesn’t get well… I’d have to do s-something! Oh, why couldn’t I learn… like that book says… to have sex… all kinds of sex… without feeling guilty about it?
It was no use, she discovered, trying to imagine herself buying and using one of those dildoes. She rejected the idea completely. There’s only one solution… Bill has got to get well… and that’s a medical problem! She made up her mind, right then! Tomorrow, she would see Doctor Bender, herself. She had to find out what was really wrong with Bill… and get him started on some treatment to cure him. He’s got to get well!