I cleansed the mirror of my heart — now it reflects the moon.
Violence is a complex and disturbing subject, one that requires careful study and first-hand experience to truly understand. In this book, we have presented what we hope is a clear, thorough, realistic, and thought-provoking analysis of violence. You have read real-life examples of violent people, examined their brutal behavior, and have a good understanding of the harsh realities of the aftermath of violence.
You have probably noticed by now that the “before” section is much longer than the “during” or “after” sections of this book. That was done intentionally because, let’s face it, you have a lot more control about what happens to you before a confrontation gets physical than you do during the fighting or after the smoke has cleared. Once you get violent, much of what follows places your fate in the hands of others.
Now that you have finished the book, you should be able to recognize behaviors, both in others as well as in yourself, that may lead to a fight. Understanding these situations can help you make the right choices for success in conflict resolution. Sometimes you really do need to fight yet most of the time it’s the wrong thing to do.
To summarize what you’ve read we would like to leave you with these four simple rules of self-defense:
• Rule Number One: “Don’t get hit.” That’s primarily about using awareness, avoidance, and de-escalation to eliminate the need to fight in the first place. Where a physical confrontation is unavoidable, it’s also about warding off the other guy’s blows so that you can counterattack successfully.
• Rule Number Two: “Stop him from continuing to attack you.” A purely defensive response is insufficient in a street fight as it can only keep you safe for a very short period of time. You must stop the assault that is in progress so that you can escape to safety or otherwise remain safe until help arrives. Your goal is to be safe, not to kill your attacker or teach him a lesson.
• Rule Number Three: “Always have a Plan B.” No matter how good a fighter you are, whatever you try is not necessarily going to work. The other guy will be doing his damnedest to pound your face in, pulling out every dirty trick he can think of in an effort to mess you up. It is prudent, therefore, to have a Plan B, some alternative you can move to without missing a beat when things go awry.
• Rule Number Four: “Don’t go to jail.” This is about judicious use of force, both knowing when it is appropriate to take action as well as knowing how much force to apply. The AOJP principle can hold you in good stead during conflict situations.
Now is the right time to put some heavy thought into what you have learned. Flip back to the checklist in Appendix A. See if what you have read changes any of your original answers.
Be smart, use your head, and stay safe.
Renseki (1701-1789) was a haiku poet. He died on July 5, 1789 at the age of eighty-eight. Translation from the original Japanese reads: