One of the harder things for a young man to hear is that many of the things that he is willing to fight for aren’t worth fighting for. In fact, often all you seem to hear from older people is “don’t fight.”
Unfortunately, that is kind of hard to do. As a young man, you have many opportunities to get involved in violence. And in the heat of the moment, it really does seem like the only way to handle the problem. Older people who tell you ‘not to fight’ just never seem to realize that, often, the repercussions of not fighting look to be a bigger problem than all those bad things that ‘might’ happen if you do fight. While ‘don’t fight’ because of what might happen seems to make sense to older people, that advice doesn’t do you much good about dealing with the problems that WILL happen if you don’t fight.
I mean sure, you may get a bloody nose if you fight the guy, but how much grief and suffering are you going to have to endure when word gets out that you’re a wimp for not fighting him? How does not fighting help you deal with the feelings of being less than a man for not standing up for yourself? Will your girlfriend think you’re a wuss for not defending her honor? And, will she still be willing to sleep with a wuss? These are the kinds of problems that ”don’t fight” doesn’t answer.
You hold in your hands a rather unique book, a book that will help you understand something that will be, at first, confusing. But the more you know about the subject of violence, the more you realize that both sides are right.
How can that be? How can two totally opposite points of view be right?
Well, let’s start with the idea that it isn’t black or white. There are all kinds of shades of gray. Both groups are right to a degree. It’s just that often these different points of view can’t see what the other group sees because of the years in between them.
Now to really muck things up, let’s throw in something else that complicates things. How much of what you are feeling right now is based on biological patterns? Patterns that ALL human beings have—even though most of the time they are neither consciously aware of the patterns or know how to talk about them.
Oh and guess what? These patterns are seriously influenced by age. As a young man, you are very concerned with establishing social status, finding a mate, and making your own territory. This is primate behavior and it often includes violence. It’s when you remember that humans are primates that should make you go, “Oh…” Now for the big shocker, the people who are telling you ‘not to fight’ are the ones who have already dealt with these primate drives. That means they’re secure with their social status, have established territories, and live with long-term mates. Good for them, but it doesn’t help you now does it?
When you are in the middle of an emotional storm, being pushed along by the need to establish yourself, violence can look like a perfectly logical thing to do. On the other hand, to those who’ve established themselves, it looks pretty stupid. They’ve forgotten what it was like not having these issues squared away. And this is why their answer of ‘don’t fight’ looks as stupid to someone trying to establish himself as fighting looks to them.
Lawrence and Kris have written a book that will help young men understand how violence happens, how it can be avoided (without losing face), how situations can escalate into violence because of a reaction to something that you thought would solve the problem and the life-long consequences that violence can have. Sometimes resorting to violence is necessary, but more often than not it is better—for all kinds of reasons—to find a peaceful way to resolve the problem.
The trick is to know when each of these times are. And this book will help with that too.
Marc “Animal” MacYoung
Lawrence and Kris have written a book that will help young men understand how violence happens, how it can be avoided (without losing face), how situations can escalate into violence because of a reaction to something that you thought would solve the problem, and the life-long consequences that violence can have. Sometimes resorting to violence is necessary, but more often than not it is better—for all kinds of reasons—to find a peaceful way to resolve the problem.
Growing up on gang-infested streets not only gave Marc MacYoung his street name “Animal,” but also extensive firsthand experience about what does and does not work for self-defense. Over the years, he has held a number of dangerous occupations including director of a correctional institute, bodyguard, and bouncer. He was first shot at when he was 15 years old and has since survived multiple attempts on his life, including professional contracts. He has studied a variety of martial arts since childhood, teaching experience-based self-defense to police, military, civilians, and martial artists around the world. His has written dozens of books and produced numerous DVDs covering all aspects of this field.