Spitting blood clears up reality and dream alike.
Violence is everywhere—on the street, in the workplace, on campus, and in the community. It can be instigated by everyone from drunken fools who hit like Jell-O to drug-crazed lunatics who cannot only throw a good punch but will slash your throat for good measure, and everything else in between. The danger can come from fists, feet, or flying objects. You might encounter or deploy impromptu weapons such as bricks, bottles, or bludgeons, or more conventional ones such as blades, buckshot, or bullets.
You might be the instigator, the victim, a witness, any or all of the above. You might see violence coming or it might catch you totally by surprise. Aggression can come from friends, relatives, acquaintances, or total strangers. It can be logical or illogical, easily predictable or totally unexpected. It might be some crackhead trying to score a few bucks for his next rock, an irate driver in the grip of road rage, or a neighborhood bully intimidating you to make his point. Or it might be from your drunken brother at your cousin’s wedding, or it might be your best friend having a drug reaction at a party.
Aggression doesn’t have to make sense at the time, and often won’t. Whenever the face of violence is glaring at you with that cold, hard stare, however, you must deal with it effectively in order to survive. For example, a friend of ours was putting some dishes away one afternoon when his sister tried to kill him with a steak knife. One moment he was leaning over the dishwasher and the next there was a wedge of razor-sharp steel whistling toward his lower back. Why? She simply wanted to know what it would be like to murder someone, though he did not know that, nor frankly care about that, at the time. All he was concerned with was not dying. Fortunately, he caught a reflection in his peripheral vision, reacted appropriately, disarmed her, and survived unscathed without even a minor scratch.
That’s where situational awareness comes into play. If you see violence coming early enough, you can easily walk, or more often, run away. With sufficient warning to prepare yourself mentally and physically, you can choose to fight or not to fight. When you are caught by surprise, however, you frequently have no choice but to fight… and on his terms rather than yours. Not exactly an ideal situation when it comes to survival. This is, of course, why predators like to jump their victims, catching them by surprise rather than facing up to them on even terms. The other guy doesn’t want to fight. He wants to win.
Though street predators, bullies, and thugs are not typically all that intelligent, they are generally very crafty. It doesn’t take a genius to know that if he attacks you out in a highly traveled, public place, he will have less control over the encounter and will more than likely be seen. And if not get caught, then at least he should have his plans interfered with. While he might want to take you to an isolated place in order to have the privacy he needs to assault, rape, murder, or rob you, he is not likely to find too many victims wandering around in remote, secluded locations. Consequently, fringe areas adjacent to heavily traveled public places are where the majority of violent crimes occur. That is where you need to pay the most attention to your surroundings. This includes areas such as parking lots, public parks, bike paths, alleyways, bathrooms, stairwells, ATM kiosks, bus terminals, train platforms and the like, particularly at night when few bystanders are hanging around.
Aggression doesn’t have to make sense at the time, and often won’t, yet you must lean to deal with it effectively in order to survive.
Sometimes you’re confronted by a violent person who has not yet attacked you, but is in the process of working himself up to a fight. You may have the chance to talk him down if you know how to de-escalate a situation, as opposed to trying to show him you aren’t afraid of him, and that he needs to back off (that usually escalates a conflict rather than preventing it). But before you can de-escalate a situation, you need to know what kinds of things will escalate it from a verbal confrontation into violence.
Even if you cannot verbally de-escalate a bad situation, your words can be a powerful weapon for defending yourself on the street. For example, if you are in a public place you may have the opportunity to solicit help from bystanders or create friendly witnesses by using words that point out your danger and clearly articulate who’s the aggressor and who’s the victim. Anyone who stumbles across a fight that’s already in progress has no way of knowing who the bad guy is if you don’t make it clear for him. Furthermore, clever words can distract your adversary and facilitate your escape.
Escape is an admirable goal. Self-defense really isn’t about fighting like most people think. Self-defense is primarily about not being there when the other guy wants to fight. Fighting is a participatory event. It means you were part of the problem. Even if you think you were only ‘defending’ yourself, if your actions contributed to the creation, escalation, and execution of violence then you were fighting. And remember, fighting is illegal.
Not fighting is good because whenever you do get into an altercation there will be repercussions. Perhaps you win, beating the other guy down with your fists only to find that he’s come back afterward with the police, his lawyer, or a gun. Perhaps you lose and take the beat down yourself. If you’re lucky you may end up with nothing more than a few bruises or minor bleeding, yet it’s not unusual to suffer injuries that are far more serious. Go visit an emergency room in an urban area on a Friday or Saturday night and you’ll see what we mean. Such visits can be quite enlightening.
The brutal reality of a violent encounter is that if you are knocked out, severely busted up, or otherwise placed in a position where you can no longer defend yourself during a fight, you are completely at the other guy’s mercy. And often in the heat of the moment, mercy is in short supply. There is only a thin veneer of civilization, laws written on paper and enforced by folks who are much too far away to intervene right here, right now, standing between you and his wrath. He may very well break off the fight when you are curled up into a little ball of agony at his feet. Unfortunately, he may, in his drunken fury, decide to put the boots to you.
The hornet’s deadly stinger was no match for the spider’s nefarious trap. Similarly, it doesn’t matter how tough you are if you never see the other guy coming. Good situational awareness, on the other hand, can keep you safe.
Since not fighting is so important, that’s what the first section of this book is all about—becoming aware of and learning how to avoid violent confrontations. It explains some of the brutal realities of violence so that, perhaps, you won’t want to fight either. You will learn about important concepts such as escalato (the “game” whereby events escalate into violence), victim interviews, predatory positioning, cutting from the herd, verbal self-defense, understanding your adversary, knowing when he’s eager to attack, understanding gang culture, and identifying weapons before they can be deployed against you, among other things.
Unfortunately, there are instances when you have no choice but to fight and others where it is prudent to do so. If so, you need to know how to do it effectively. The second section of this book is about what actually happens during a violent encounter, helping you understand smart things you might want to try and dumb things you should attempt to avoid during a fight. It teaches important principles that help you know when you can legally get away with going physical and identifies appropriate levels of force that you might be able to employ while keeping yourself out of jail whenever you have to get hands on.
The last section covers the aftermath of violence, showing that it’s almost never over when it’s over. Surviving the fight is just the beginning. There is a host of other consequences to address, including first aid, legal issues, managing witnesses, finding a good attorney, dealing with the press, interacting with law enforcement, and dealing with psychological trauma.
The book is laid out as a series of vignettes within each section, each describing a different aspect of what happens before, during, or after violence. You will find quotes from legendary warriors Sun Tzu (The Art of War) and Miyamoto Musashi (The Book of Five Rings) at the beginning of each vignette, demonstrating that these concepts have been around for a very long time.
Sun Tzu (544-496 B.C.) is an honorific that means “Master Sun.” According to historians, his given name was Wu. His mastery of military strategy was so exceptional that he supposedly transformed 180 courtesans into trained soldiers in a single session in order to secure a generalship with King Ho-Lu. Whether that particular episode is true or not, it is well known King Ho-Lu, with Sun Tzu at his side, defeated the powerful Chinese Ch’u state in 506 B.C., capturing their capital city of Ying. He then headed north and subdued the states of Ch’i and Chin to forge his empire. Sun Tzu recorded his winning strategies in a book titled The Art of War. It was the first and most revered volume of its type, one that is still referenced by military and business leaders throughout the world today.
Aggression doesn’t have to make sense at the time, and often won’t. Whenever the face of violence is glaring at you with that cold, hard stare, however, you must deal with it effectively in order to survive. The brutal reality of a violent encounter is that if you are knocked out, severely busted up, or otherwise placed in a position where you can no longer defend yourself during a fight, you are completely at the other guy’s mercy. There is only a thin veneer of civilization, laws written on paper and enforced by folks who are much too far away to intervene right here, right now, standing between you and his wrath.
Miyamoto Musashi (1584-1645) was born Shinmen Takezō. He grew up in the Harima Province of Japan. Arguably, the greatest swordsman who ever lived, Musashi slew his first opponent, Arima Kihei, at the age of 13. Considered Kensei, the sword saint of Japan, Musashi killed more than sixty trained samurai warriors in fights or duals during the feudal period where even a minor battle injury could lead to infection and death. He was the founder of the Hyōhō Niten Ichi-Ryu style of swordsmanship, which translates as “two heavens as one” or “two sword style.” Like most samurai, he was skilled in the peaceful arts as well, an exceptional poet, calligrapher, and artist. Two years before he died, Musashi retired to a life of seclusion in a cave where he codified his winning strategy in the famous Go Rin No Sho which, in English, means The Book of Five Rings.
Violence is almost never over when it’s ‘over.’ There are a host of consequences to deal with including recovering from physical and/or psychological trauma as well as navigating the legal system, among others.
Each chapter in this book begins with a poem penned by a samurai warrior or haiku poet on the verge of death. These perspectives are fascinating and, we think, worth your consideration. In the interest of making this book as useful for the reader as possible, however, we have attempted to limit our philosophical commentary in favor of real-life examples and practical advice, using actual people and situations from which you can learn.
A key aspect of this book is the checklist in Appendix A. If you have not already done so as directed in the preface, stop reading the book now, flip to the back, and fill in your answers. This exercise is designed to make you think, putting the information you are about to read into a context that will be meaningful and real for you when you must make decisions under pressure or threat out in the real world. Once you have finished reading the book, go back and do the exercise again. See what you have learned, evaluate if and how your attitude has changed, and reflect on what you might do next time you run across aggressive or violent behavior on the street.
Self-defense really isn’t about fighting; it’s primarily about not being there when the other guy wants to fight. Knowledge and good sense are your main weapons for self-defense.
Our goal is to help you put things into perspective and give you the tools necessary to navigate the world of violence without running into any insurmountable rocks, pitfalls, or traps along your way. It’s a serious topic, yet we have tried to make it interesting, meaningful and, most of all, thought provoking. After all, knowledge and good sense are your main weapons of self-defense.
Sunao (1887-1926) was a haiku poet who died at the age of thirty-nine. Haiku is a traditional epigrammatic Japanese poem based on 17 syllables that are arranged 5 — 7 — 5. Translation from the original Japanese reads: