She had observed the brooch and handkerchief I have before spoken of.
"It's no use to deny it; I see guilt in your face!"
"I don't understand you when you speak of guilt, nor do I attempt to deny that not having time sufficient to return home my cousin was kind enough to oblige me with the loan-"
I was proceeding when, with the fury of an enraged tigress, she sprung upon me, tore the valuable brooch from my breast with a portion of the shirt itself and trampled it beneath her feet, threatening to return to the concert room and serve the vile owner in the same way; the splendid handkerchief was rent into a half a dozen pieces and the brooch shared a similar fate; nor was I rescued from her grasp until she had torn a tolerable handful of hair from my head. I was at length indebted for my liberty to Emma, who had been waiting for her at the end of the passage and, alarmed at the scuffle, now hastened to the rescue.
"For God's sake," cried she, "consider where you are; come home if you are wise; why continue to expose yourself; think of your child; let me persuade you, there's a dear, come."
Bessy suffered herself to be led from the spot. I ran before them, called a coach, and assisted in handing them in. As I was giving the necessary instructions to the coachman, to my utter astonishment Bessy seized my arm, burst into tears, and kissing my hand sank back in her seat as the horses started. The next moment I felt myself seized from behind; I turned and encountered Delia, who the moment she beheld my disordered appearance, exclaimed, "What has happened, tell me, are you hurt-but never mind, I know it all, it's that gipsy-looking vixen's work, but let her look to herself, if I don't serve her out my name's not Delia L-s!"
I endeavoured to soothe her, assuring her that it was nothing but a slight misunderstanding that would speedily be rectified; and while she returned for her shawl, etc., I succeeded in gathering up the fragments of her property. The handkerchief was past recovery, but as to the brooch, the stones being uninjured, a few shillings paid to a jeweller soon restored it to its pristine beauty.
The attentive kindness of Delia, contrasted with the violent indignation of her rival, determined me, and I resolved to conform myself entirely to the will of the former. The disordered state of my apparel was such as to render a return to the public room out of the question, and in a short time we were again set down at Islington where, having supped, she insisted on my retiring at once to bed, and seizing a candle led the way to the adjoining chamber.
I offered my assistance to aid her in undressing, but this she would by no means allow. She would see me fairly in bed before she removed a single particle of her own attire. I reminded her that such conduct upon my part would be quite out of order and begged she would consider how very ungallant it would appear in me to receive a lady in bed, but my arguments were all in vain and she began with her own fair hands to remove my cravat, etc. Finding her so fully determined I ceased to expostulate, and quickly divesting myself of my clothes, lay down naked upon the bed and prepared to watch the delightful spectacle of her disrobing. But little did I anticipate the intellectual as well as sensual entertainment in store for me. For I was now to learn that the charming girl had conceived the humorous fancy of pretending that she was alone! Slipping off her bodice and releasing a pair of large and finely moulded breasts from her corset, she threw herself backwards upon a low divan, opened her legs, and picking up her petticoats, seized a long bolster and thrusting it between her thighs and clasping it in her naked arms proceeded with many gasps and sighs and tumultuous heavings of her bottom to go through the whole pantomime of love with such extraordinary fervour and fidelity to nature that at last the very bolster seemed to be alive and I could have found it in my heart to drive a knife into the horsehair bowels of my supplanter!
However, I managed to remember that I should very soon find myself in the position now occupied by the happy bolster and so determined to wait and see the pretty comedy to its end.
Delia now pushed away her imaginary lover and moved from the sofa to her looking-glass. Here she let down her masses of wavy brown hair, threw off her stays, slipped her chemise to the floor and stood for a moment seemingly spellbound at the reflection of her own beauty!
At length her lips parted and by straining my ears I could just catch the words she uttered:
"Ah, Heavens, what an ill-assorted world is this! Here am I, poor lonely forsaken Delia, longing, craving, dying for a lusty man. Within hail are hundreds, nay thousands, of such men not one of whom but would leap from his bed and fly to me as if the Devil were after him could he but know that I stand here naked, my fingers itching, my vulva throbbing, and my tongue vainly twisting this way and that to enclose a glorious, standing pizzle in their embrace! That beautiful singer, now! If I only had him here! Does he know the pleasure of a girl's fresh red mouth upon his sugar-stick? I'll go bail he knows it not. And yet mine is fresh and red, and the lips are full and ripe and made for amorous clinging.
With what rapture would they fasten upon his tool and suck it in to meet the onslaught of my tongue, which should curl its whole length about the stiffening column nor rest until it had drawn from him a torrent of love's delicious nectar! But a few minutes to repose and then I would lock my arms around his neck and fingering his member so deftly that it could not choose but stand again, would clasp him naked to my naked breasts and pray him to hitter me till one or the other should cry mercy! All this and a thousand other sweet and pleasant things would I do, were my dear love but with me now!"
The reader may imagine with what feelings I had listened to this impassioned harangue. But my powers of self-restraint were at last exhausted and leaping from the bed I rushed upon the naked girl and covered her with passionate kisses from head to foot. Waves of lascivious delight coursed up and down her body and as I stood before her, breathless from my late exertions, she sank to her knees, and after looking up into my face with a gaze of speechless love and longing, softly passed her tongue over the nut of my yard and then pushing it slowly and lovingly between her lips, began to suck it with incredible ardour and enjoyment.
I was just beginning to revel in the exquisite sensations produced by the contact of Delia's mouth and tongue and wondering how long I could stave off the crisis which was already threatening to arrive, when a thundering double knocking at the street door broke the silence of night with an echoing sound that seemed sufficient to shake every house in that retired row to its foundation; and Delia, starting from my arms, leapt into the middle of the room.
"Good God!" I exclaimed, "what can this mean? surely 'tis an alarm of fire."
"Worse, worse!" she replied, "unfortunate wretch that I am! Too well I know the meaning of these sounds. It's my old tyrant, B-, returned a week before his time; but let him come; I'll brave it all; he can but turn me out of doors, and you, my dear, will not forsake me."
With a few hasty words I succeeded in convincing her of the folly of such conduct; and taking my clothes upon my arm urged her to endeavour to think of some place of concealment from which I could at a convenient moment escape undiscovered from the house. The knocking was now renewed more furiously than before, mingled with the violent ringing of the bell in such a manner as to bespeak plainly the wild impatience of the operator.
She seized my arm and led me in silence across the landing place; and having descended a couple of steps opened the door of a small chamber, and having kissed me whispered, "For my sake be cautious," she closed the door and departed, leaving me in a state of nudity and in utter darkness. In a few moments I heard her returning footsteps, mingled with those of a man, who, in no very gentle terms, was expressing his discontent at having been kept so long waiting in the street, which she attributed to her having been in her first sleep. At length they entered the chamber I had so recently quitted under such very disastrous circumstances, and the door being closed I was at once convinced from the very faint murmurs that met my ear, notwithstanding he was still speaking rather loudly, that I might without danger of being overheard venture to put on my clothes; in which attempt I had entirely succeeded, with the exception of my boots, and was cautiously rising for the purpose of seeking the door in order to make good my retreat when a ray of light suddenly illumined the apartment and I felt the grasp of what appeared to be the long bony fingers of a skeleton hand upon my shoulders.
On turning round to ascertain the cause of my alarm, I discovered that I had been unconsciously sitting upon what is termed by brokers a stump bedstead, upon which an aged woman was at the time sleeping, who having been disturbed by my movements had in the impulse of her momentary terror grasped my shoulder with one hand and drawn back a thick curtain which covered the window with the other. This accounted for the sudden ray of light, for the moon was shining brilliantly and rendered every object in that small chamber distinctly visible.
Her head was graced by a dirty flannel nightcap tied under the chin; her eyes, which were strained to their utmost extent, were fixed upon my face; they were of that description vulgarly called "velvet-bound," being edged with a rich crimson border, and a stream of rheum ran gently down a deep gutterlike wrinkle formed on each side of her nose, which was long, skinny, and hooked; while from her expanded nostrils issued a current of a dark mahogany colour, doubtless the effects of the quantities of snuff she was in the habit of taking; a pair of lengthy discoloured fangs protruded from her upper jaw, forming a barrier to keep the under lip from falling inwards; a profusion of long, grey hair shaded her withered shoulders; and a pair of breasts, resembling nothing earthly so much as a couple of dingy wash-leather saddle bags, with a stone in the bottom of each to keep them pendant, rested upon the well-worn counterpane. This delicate creature continued to gaze upon me for some time without uttering a sentence, her hands resting on my shoulders, and as she advanced her hideous countenance nearer to my own I experienced a feeling of suffocation from the exhalations of her breath, perfumed as it was with the combined fragrance of gin, onions, and tobacco.
At length in a subdued tone of voice she muttered thus, "Oh, oh! I see it all, yes, yes, I understand, and so Miss Deelie with all her prudery is no better than the rest of her kidney; she has her favourites on the sly; well, I cannot blame her, and must confess that she has proved herself a girl of taste; but never fear, lad, I am not given to gossip, but upon this occasion I think that silence should at least earn me a new gown; bless my heart, what a soft hand the boy has; I could almost fancy I was pressing that of a delicate young lady; and dear me, now I look again, how very like my dear dead and gone Jim Grundy when we were first acquainted; ah, youngster, I was a very, very different person to look at then than I am now; time works wondrous changes in us all!"
And the old crone, having amused herself while she was speaking by passing her fingers through my hair, now proceeded to clasp me round the waist, and fearing that the beldame was absolutely growing amorous, with a sudden effort I extricated myself from her embrace, exclaiming with an attempted smile, "Enough, enough, good mother, let me now think of effecting a retreat, all shall be explained the first opportunity; in the mean time only be discreet, and your reward shall not be forgotten."
With these words, taking my boots in my hand, I proceeded downstairs, opened the street door, which I did not wait to shut after me, and having gained the street never ceased running until I arrived at the Angel Inn; here finding the coast clear I drew on my boots, and slackening my pace, endeavoured as I approached my home to frame the best excuse I could possibly devise to dispel the merited anger of Bessy and her more cautious but no less indignant companion.
I have previously mentioned that in order to remove all jealous doubts from my mind, Bessy had been for several months in the habit of leaving a candle burning, by means of which I could at all times satisfy myself that she did not share her husband's bed, and upon arriving home on this eventful night, or rather morning, my first glance was directed towards the aperture in the window shutter; alas, no welcome gleam appeared to gladden my sight; my mind misgave me; I unlocked the outer door, and applying my eye to the well-known keyhole all was dark and drear; at this moment a ray of moonlight rested upon the opposite couch, so long the solitary resting place of my beloved! it was forsaken. My worst fears were confirmed. I had proved myself unworthy; her confidence in my honour had been shaken and she had returned to the embraces of her liege lord. I cursed my own folly-and retired to my lonely bed, not to sleep but to ponder over the gulf of misery I had opened for myself by yielding too easily to the dictates of gallantry.
Nor were my fears without foundation, as I afterwards learnt from the blushing Bessy's own confession when a reconciliation had taken place between us. It appears that on her returning home with Emma after the scene so recently described, she was assailed by her tyrant in the most violent manner, in consequence of her having dared to go out without his knowledge; vainly did the good-natured Emma endeavour to take all the blame upon herself; even she did not escape a portion of the abuse which the unfeeling blackguard showered on his wife, charging her with an undue partiality for me, to whom he loudly declared his honour had been sacrificed, and it was not until he had become completely exhausted by the fury of his passion that he suffered himself to be persuaded that his wife was innocent.
Peace having been thus restored and the fond couple left alone, Mr. E., probably ashamed of his late conduct, endeavoured by the most abject protestations to regain the affections of his wife and induce her to admit him once again to the privileges of a husband from which he had been so long excluded. He went on his knees before her and in the most earnest terms begged she would pardon his late unjust suspicions, which having at length obtained he proceeded to urge his suit still further. By receiving him again to her arms he should be at once satisfied that he was really forgiven and the remaining portion of his life should be passed in one continued endeavour to promote her happiness. What could she do? The proof she had that evening received of my inconstancy was sufficient to convince her that her dependence upon me was indeed precarious-she had no security that I was not at that very moment seeking for a plausible excuse to abandon her for another; added to which her positive conviction that certain "living consequences" of our indiscretion would soon become apparent; and in the event of which, as she had too much reason to fear, finding herself deserted by me, how could she account to her husband for such an addition to his family when she had for so many months estranged herself from his arms.
Under these circumstances, having no alternative, she yielded to his importunities and submitted herself once more to his loathed embraces. With the utmost mortification I listened to the hateful story, nor could I chide the amiable sufferer. I only was to blame; but although in justice compelled to admit that she was blameless, I from that moment abandoned the idea of ever making her my own undivided property, and it was not until after the birth of her child that I succeeded in my endeavours to persuade her to renew our former intimacy; but this once accomplished was never afterwards denied; for as she candidly acknowledged in one fond hour of blissful dalliance, notwithstanding my ungenerous conduct and her strenuous endeavors to drive me from her thoughts, the impression I had made upon her heart was too deep ever to be eradicated, and though compelled by circumstances to yield obedience to her wedded lord her love was all my own.
Owing to my precaution, Mr. E. never had an opportunity of seeing us together; for obvious reasons I had ceased to be his tenant and our interviews took place at my own private lodgings, I having introduced her to my new landlady as an only sister, under which character we passed many happy hours together.
Her husband, as she told me, seldom mentioned my name except, indeed, when some of his former suspicions would for a moment revive as he gazed upon his infant son, when he would exclaim, "The boy is cursedly like that infernal singer. I don't know how it is, Bess! I think you've acted right enough; but people can't at all times command their thoughts and when he was got, I'm d-d if you were not thinking more of the blasted tenor than you was of me."
I will now proceed with my tale. I suppose that towards the approach of day I must have fallen into a troubled sleep, for I was awoke about eight o'clock in the morning by the gruff voice of Mr. E., who exclaimed as he rapped at my door, "Hallo, there! here's a letter for you. I have thrust it under the door and there's a youngster waiting for an answer."
I immediately leaped from my bed and opening the note read as follows:
My dearest Love,
After the occurrences of last night, I tremble to address you; but if your heart is not devoid of pity, pray let me see you once again; I am very very ill, and have much to tell you. For God's sake, come some time today, and do not by a refusal add to the despair of the wretched Delia.
I partly unclosed the door and requested Mr. E. to inform the bearer that the writer's request should be attended to; I then hurried on my clothes and, the weather being fine, took a seat in the garden, pretending to be occupied in the perusal of a book. I was in fact anxiously expecting that chance would favour me with an opportunity of seeking an explanation with my insulted Bessy, for I now remembered that it was the Sabbath and consequently the husbands of my two enamoured fair ones would in all probability remain at home the whole of the day.
At one end of the garden was a small building which was used as a wash house, etc., and was in fact continually open for the accommodation of all. I accordingly placed my chair in such a position that in order to reach this place the person wishing to do so must pass so very closely to where I was sitting as to be within hearing of the softest whisper.
I had not remained long here ere the gentle Emma came tripping down the path, eyeing me as she advanced with a look full of meaning, while a malicious smile was playing round the corners of her tempting mouth. I would have caught her round the waist, but with a lightning glance at an upper window she gave me to understand that she was not unwatched; this, however, did not prevent her as she returned from pausing for a moment while in a subtle tone she archly exclaimed,
"Now, can you say that I am a false prophetess. Did I not tell you long ago, that Mrs. E. would betray herself, and has she not done so with a witness?" And shaking her finger archly at me, she departed.
In a few minutes after, with swollen eyes and downcast brow, Bessy entered the garden. As she approached me our eyes met. I was about to take,her hand, but with a withering frown and a forced smile expressive of the utmost contempt she avoided my touch; and as she returned in a moment after, passed me with averted face, scorning to favour me with a single glance. In returning to my room, her door (which I have said fronted mine) stood open, and to add to my mortification at the very moment that she was conscious my eyes were upon her she placed her hand upon her husband's shoulder, and as he looked upwards into her face with the utmost satisfaction pressed a kiss upon his willing lips!
This was too much; and with feelings compared to which those of the damned would have been enviable, I entered my apartment, swallowed a huge bumper of the strongest brandy, and then, in order to conceal from her the effects of her cruelty, sat down to my piano and for the next hour continued to play a succession of the most lively and exhilarating melodies.
Having at length succeeded in soothing my ruffled spirits, I dressed myself with the utmost care, and, prompted by something like vanity in order that she might see and contrast my gay appearance with that of her loutish husband, I rapped at her door, which being opened by herself, I, with the greatest self-composure, stated that in the event of any enquiries being made for me I should not be home until the following evening.
I was revenged. It was now her turn to suffer. The blood rushed into her face and it was with the greatest difficulty that she could articulate,
"Very well, sir." I then with a polite bow closed the door and quitted the house.
Having made an early dinner at a respectable ordinary, I hastened to Islington. The door was opened by the old lady whose appearance I have already described and who, with a low chuckle, beckoning me to follow, led the way upstairs, opened the door, and immediately taking her departure I was left alone with Delia.
She was reclining on the bed, her lovely eyes suffused in tears, and, amongst other evils, labouring under that most tedious of all painsthe toothache. She smiled as I approached and extended her hand, which I received but coldly; for, to speak candidly, the idea of her having passed the night in the arms of a man old enough to be her father had considerably cooled my ardour; since I am, notwithstanding my love of variety, rather delicate in matters of a tender nature.
She doubtlessly guessed the nature of my thoughts and when, after some time passed in conversation, I acknowledged that such was indeed the subject of them, she exclaimed with a look of the most tender reproach, "And do you think me then so abandoned a creature as to have sent for you had I suffered myself to have been abused so recently? Do you believe that I could have submitted to the embraces of so loathsome a wretch when my soul was full of love for you? No!
Death itself would have been much more welcome. It was no difficult task for me to make the old dotard believe that I was too unwell to receive his caresses. I walked the room during the whole of the night and he is now on his way to the continent, from whence he will not return for many weeks; it is in consequence of my remaining for so long a time partly undressed, and with the window open, that I am suffering the pain I now endure."
This was really the case; the poor girl had taken a violent cold in consequence of her devotion to me. Could I remain insensible to the advances of such a creature? No. I pressed her to my arms and covered her with ardent kisses! This done I went on to remind her of the soliloquy I had been so miraculously privileged to overhear on the previous evening and of the divine pleasure she was causing me at the moment of our cruel interruption. I assured her of my anxiety to reciprocate in kind and of the zest which I was convinced the preliminary insertion of my tongue into her crack would certainly lend to our subsequent encounter. At this her language became at once free and impassioned and she besought me to lay my head between her legs and kiss her without delay. Nothing loath, I turned round and kneeling over her with my feet towards the pillows applied my lips with rapture to the dainty feast, taking care at the same time that my probe should occupy a position which left her no choice but to bury it within her rosy mouth.