Emily Barlow to Sylvia Carey
Algiers, 24 July 1814
Dearest Sylvia-I think I see the expression of surprise you experience on perceiving my letter dated from this place. Oh, God, Sylvia, to what a wretched fate has the intended kindness of my uncle devoted your miserable unfortunate friend. Pity me, Sylvia; pity my wretchedness.
You have no doubt heard of the cruel treatment experienced by females who are unfortunate enough to fall into the power of these barbarous Turks, particularly those who have any pretensions to beauty; but it is utterly impossible for you, Sylvia, to conjecture anything like my sufferings since we parted. I shudder with agony when I look back to what I have been forced to undergo. Pity me, my dear friend. My tears blot out the words nearly as quick as I write them.
Oh God, Sylvia, I have no longer any claim to chastity. Surely never was poor maid so unfeelingly deprived of her virtue. The very day the accursed pirate brought me to this place did the Dey, with cruel force, in spite of my entreaties, deprive me of my virginity. In vain I resisted with all the strength nature had bestowed on me. It was no use. In vain I made the harem resound with my cries but no help or assistance came to succour your poor friend; at length, wearied out by struggling in defence of my innocence, my strength at last completely failed me, and my powerful ravisher unrelentingly completed my undoing. Oh, Sylvia, your poor friend is now the polluted concubine of this most worthless Turk.
You no doubt are anxious to hear how I came into his power. The story of my ruin is short. The day after I wrote to you from Portsmouth we sailed down the English Channel with most delightful weather, but in losing sight of land I became extremely seasick, so much so that I could not even crawl upon deck. In this state I continued about three weeks.
One day I heard a most unusual noise upon deck, and when I sent Eliza to learn the cause of it, a mate told her that the ship was likely to be attacked by Moorish pirates. You may easily guess our terror at this information, which turned out to be all too true, for shortly the discharge of guns with the shouts of the combatants informed us the work of destruction was begun. The firing continued a considerable time without intermission, and when the discharge of our guns was discontinued, the uproar, cries and groans on the deck became too horrid to describe, or to last long. On a sudden everything became quiet, but a rush we heard coming towards the cabin too surely warned us of our approaching captivity. In an instant the door was burst open, and in rushed a crowd of armed Turks covered with blood. Unable longer to sustain the various emotions with which for the last two hours I had been agitated, and still suffering from the remains of my sickness, I fainted in the arms of Eliza. On recovering my senses I found myself in my berth attended by Eliza, from whom I learned we had been captured by an Algerine corsair, who had ordered every attention to be paid me, and she believed the corsair was making for the Straits of Gibraltar.
In short, about a week after passing Gibraltar, the firing of a salute announced we were under the walls of Algiers; during the passage to this place I was not troubled with any visit from the captain, but immediately the vessel was safely anchored, he came to the cabin, and ordered us in good English to get ourselves ready to go ashore in the course of half an hour. Hearing him speak English so well, I took this opportunity of enquiring what his intentions were respecting us, but was struck speechless by his answering that his intention was to make a present of us to the Dey! He added he thought I was particularly wormy of that honour. So profound was my horror at this information, that I in vain essayed for several minutes to speak, and had I not found relief in a flood of tears, most certainly my emotions would have been fatal to me. The brute of a captain observed my tears and coolly remarked, ‘Oh! oh! waterworks! Ah! ah!' he continued, laughing aloud, ‘if you should happen to be a maid, the Dey will make you cry in another way I guess.' He then returned to the deck. I have since learned that this barbarian is an English renegade.
Poor Eliza appeared as much overcome as myself, for in point of personal attractions few girls could be more well endowed. A strong presentiment of my approaching fate had taken forcible possession of my mind. All Eliza could do or say, brought no relief to my apprehensions. The expiration of this time again brought the captain to the cabin, who, covering us with thick veils, conducted us both on deck. In a few minutes we entered the Watergate of the Dey's harem.
It was about half-past six o'clock in the evening of the 12th of this month that I entered this palace, so fatal to my modesty. I had scarcely been in it half an hour ere my virtue received so severe an insult that the complete loss of chastity only could exceed what I suffered. In less than five hours the cruel Dey had thoroughly deprived me of every claim to virginity. But you shall know all, just as it happened.
Directly we were in the harem we were rather dragged than led into a most sumptuous chamber, at the far end of which sat the Dey, apparently about forty-five years of age, smoking a peculiar kind of pipe. The captain immediately prostrated himself, and spoke to him in the Turkish language, pointing at the same time to me and Eliza. The Dey surveyed us for a few moments without rising. He then said something to the captain, who rose from his prostrate position, took Eliza by the hand, and led her out of the room. I was about to follow, but was ordered by the captain to remain. Trembling with terror I was forced to obey.
No sooner were the captain and Eliza withdrawn than the Dey rose from the couch, walked leisurely towards me, and laid hold of my hand, which trembled in his grasp. After considering a few moments, he chucked me under the chin and said in good English that Mahomet had been kind in blessing him with so fair a slave as myself. I was not much surprised to hear the Dey speak English, the captain having spoken it so well, but the terror his address gave me cannot be described, and indeed good reason I had for my apprehensions.
Directly he had spoken, he began leading me towards the couch, but I instantaneously drew back, on which without further ceremony he caught me around the waist and in spite of the resistance I made, forced me to it; then, seating himself, he drew me to him and forced me to seat myself upon his knees. If it had been in my power to resist, the
excess of my confusion alone would have prevented my throwing any effectual obstacle in the way of his proceedings. Directly he had got me thus he threw one of his arms round my neck, and drew my lips to his, closing my mouth with his audacious kisses. Whilst his lips were as it were glued to mine, he forced his tongue into my mouth in a manner which created a sensation it is quite impossible to describe. It was the first liberty of the kind I ever sustained.
You may guess the shock it at first gave me, but you will scarcely credit it when I own that my indignation was not of long continuance.
Nature, too powerful nature, had become aroused and assisted his lascivious proceedings, conveying his kisses, brutal as they were, to the inmost recesses of my heart On a sudden, new and wild sensations blended with my shame and rage, which exerted themselves but faintly, in fact, Sylvia, in a few short moments his kisses and his tongue threw my senses into a complete tumult and an unknown fire rushed through every part of me, hurried on-by a strange pleasure. All my loud cries dwindled into gentle sighs, and in spite of my inward rage and grief, I could not resist; wanting strength for self-defence, I could only bewail my situation. I told you he had me on his knees, with one of his arms round my neck. Finding how little I resisted, and having me thus with our lips closely joined, his other hand he suddenly thrust under my petticoats. Incensed by this vital insult, I strove to break from his arms, but it was of no use. He held me firm, my cries and reproaches he heeded not! If by my struggles I contrived to free my lips, they were quickly regained again; thus with his hand and his lips he kept me in the greatest disorder, whilst in proportion as it increased I felt my fury and strength diminish. At last a dizzy sensation seized on every sense. I felt his hand rapidly divide my thighs, and quickly one of his fingers penetrated that place which, God knows, no male hand had ever before touched. If anything was wanting to complete my confusion, it was the thrilling sensation I felt, caused by the touches of his finger.
What a dreadful moment was this for my virtue! with all the highest notions of the charms of that dear innocence which I was doomed to be so soon deprived of, dreading even in my soul's disorder nothing so much as losing it, how strange then it was that pleasure should not be overcome by such fears. Why did they not instantly snatch me from the pleasure? I wished some help would come to save me from the danger, but I no sooner formed the wish than a kiss and his finger created a contrary emotion, and each following kiss grew more and more pleasing, till at last I almost wished nothing might oppose my absolute defeat In blushing at what I felt, I blush to write, I longed to feel more. Without an idea what that which I panted for could be, I eagerly awaited the instruction, until the impetuous ardour began to be too powerful for the senses.
Finding that I made no attempt to withdraw my lips from his thrilling pressure, his arm which was around my neck he removed to my waist, thus drawing me more strongly to his bosom; his right arm became closely confined between his body and mine, my hand being placed and held firmly between his thighs. Whilst in this position, I felt something beneath his clothes gradually enlarging and moving against my hand; from the length I felt it against my arm, I judged it to be very long and thick also. If I had wished to remove my hand from its position I could not; and so wonderful was the fascination I felt from the mere touch of this unknown object, I think I could not have removed my hand had it been perfectly at liberty. Without knowing what it was, every throb created in me a tremor unaccountable. I little dreamed the dreadful anguish I was doomed to experience by that which my hand was warming and raising to life.
By this time the Dey had satisfied himself of my being a virgin. Sunk though I was in sensual lethargy, I had not been able to silence an unfortunate monitor within my breast who, though hitherto unsuccessful, was yet reproaching me for my weakness. The Dey, fully perceiving the impression he had made, resolved to take immediate advantage of it. But how shall I describe what I still blush to think of, but it must be done. He withdrew his hand from between my thighs, forced me on my back on the couch, and in an instant turned up my clothes above my navel. Thus all my secret charms became exposed to his view. Exhausted as I was and lost in desire, I could make no further resistance. His hands quickly divided my thighs and he got between them. During my struggles my neckerchief had become loose and disordered. He now entirely removed it, leaving my neck and breast quite bare.
Although I could scarcely keep my eyes open from the tumult of my senses, still I could not help observing as he was on his knees between my thighs that he was divesting himself of his lower garments. For the first time in my life I caught a view of that terrible instrument, that fatal foe to virginity. With unutterable sensations I felt his naked glowing body join mine, again my lips were glued to his, softening me to ruin with his inflamed suctions. In a delirium little short of pleasure, panting with desire, I waited my coming fate. (I really think if at this moment he had completed my seduction, I should not have regretted my loss of virtue; but no, it was decreed that on being deprived of my innocence I should be entirely free of all those soft desires he had so powerfully excited, and that I should suffer during my defloration every anguish a maid can feel, personal as well as mental. But to my unfortunate tale.) The Dey had properly fixed himself to do that which I ought but certainly at that moment did not dread. No, even as his daring hand fixed the head of his terrible instrument where his lascivious fingers had so potently assisted in reducing me to my then passive state, I own I felt it even with pleasure stiffly distending my until that moment untouched modesty. But on the very instant when I had willingly resigned everything to what I then considered my fixed destiny, his eyes, whose lustre and expression I could scarcely sustain of, on a sudden were filled with languor. He seemed as it were abashed, and kissing me with less violence, he grew by degrees even weaker than myself. Suddenly I felt my thighs overflowed by something warm that spurted in torrents from his instrument. At last he sank in my arms in a kind of trance.
The Day's weakness continuing, my confusion began to dissipate so much that by making an effort I found no difficulty in disengaging myself from his arms. I got off the couch. As I grew composed and capable of recollection, the more I became sensible of my shame, together with the dreadful shock my modesty had experienced. A
melancholy seized me. I shuddered at what I was likely to encounter judging by what I had already experienced. However, I returned thanks to heaven for my present escape. By this time I had adjusted my dress and the Dey had done the same thing and, coming up to me, he again placed his arm around my waist Hardly recovered from my first confusion, I trembled for fear the same scene was again commencing, but fortunately I was deceived. He only kissed my cheek in a manner which had nothing displeasing in it, and said, as well as I can recollect, ‘Lovely Christian, it is not the pleasure of our Holy prophet that I should at present be indulged in the enjoyment of your beauties, but when I return from a journey I am about to make, I shall no doubt be able to do justice to your charms. Until my return I shall order everything for your pleasure and amusement. But come,' he continued, ‘I will conduct you to the apartment I intend you shall occupy.'
I now summoned up courage to address him, although I could scarcely look in his face. I told him my exact situation, of my affection for Henry, that no doubt my uncle would pay a very high ransom if I was released without any further attempts against my virtue. This I threw out to tempt his cupidity, supposing, as I always understood the Algerines to be a most rapacious set of men, the hopes of gaining a large sum would induce him to spare me. He listened very patiently to all I advanced.
Encouraged by his attention, I proceeded to add entreaties and supplications supported by tears, but on a sudden he drew me to his bosom and kissed away my tears, replying in these decisive words-'It cannot be; it is in vain you plead; your fate is fixed. I would not part with you for all the treasure of the combined world, let alone what one individual could produce. Do not indulge yourself, lovely one, with any vain hopes of ransom, for if the Commander of the Faithful was to order it, I would not part with you. The delicious odour of your virgin flower is reserved for my enjoyment In a few days I shall return, and then, lovely houri, you must resign yourself without reluctance or coyness to my fierce desires, and in return I will teach you such sweet pleasure that you will soon cease to regret having been thrown in my power. How could you for a moment imagine I should be foolish enough to resign beauties such as yours to the arms of a rival, too? to let a favoured Christian pluck your maiden rose. No, sweet virgin, the soft pleasure is surely reserved for me,' and he drew my lips to his; ‘it is I that am doomed to cull the flower. To me belongs the delightful task of transforming you into a finished woman, and cropping that delicate treasure, so much sought after, but so seldom found.' My heart entirely failed me at the decided refusal, and he led me trembling to the apartments I was to occupy. They consisted of a suite of three rooms, situated at the end of a long gallery. As we entered he explained to me the use of each room.
The first was me general apartment for eating or receiving company in, the second for dressing, whilst the third and innermost one was the bedroom; this last could be approached only through the other two rooms-at least so it appeared to me. In the bedroom were three large windows. On examination I found them to look out to the sea, which was beating the walls underneath at a great depth. There was no possibility of any approach or escape on that side. Whilst I was gazing at the shipping in the harbour, the Dey seized my hand and gently drew me towards the bed, which was in one of the corners of the room, made of large velvet cushions in the most magnificent style, after the Eastern fashion. The two sides of the wall which formed the angle in which the bed was placed were entirely covered with looking-glass, as was the ceiling above. A sudden trembling seized me on viewing the fatal bed, which the Dey observing, he took me in his arms and kissing me said, ‘On my return I shall soon release you from all these tremblings and fear. He kept his word, but it was much sooner than I expected or than he promised. After he had pointed out all the conveniences of the room, together with their several uses, he gave me a key, informing me it was the key of my sleeping apartment. He then took me in his arms, covering my lips and neck with kisses, and bid me to expect his return in a week, by which time, he said, he had no doubt of my entire submission to his desires. The way these intimations were given was so peculiar and new to me, combining so much of me authority of a master, that it was entirely out of my power to make any reply, and he left me. The first thing I did when he was gone was to inspect me door of the bedroom. To my great joy I found the lock was on the inside and me key being in my possession I felt comparatively safe.
I next examined the room most attentively, and after a strict searching felt convinced mere was no other entrance but the door, it being entirely impossible for anyone to approach by the windows. I was much relieved in mind after this inspection.
Just as I had finished my examination, in came four female slaves whom the Dey had appointed to attend me. One of them spoke English. I enquired of her if I could have Eliza, but was informed me Dey considered her too handsome to be an attendant. At present she was considered one of his mistresses, and would remain so if she was found worthy of that honour by being still a maid. This information caused me to sigh for poor Eliza. The slaves now brought all kinds of refreshments, of which I stood much in need.
After dinner I retired to the bedroom, and seated myself on a couch in one of the recesses of the windows; the prospect was beautiful; the sun had just sunk on me western horizon behind the white terraces of the city but still there was sufficient light to discern everything going on in the harbour, and on me mole-indeed me scene was delightful; for a few moments my unfortunate state was forgotten. I was disturbed by the slave who spoke English bringing in a parcel of English books, with a silver bell to ring should I want anything. Whilst she was in me room a discharge of guns took place from the castle and batteries, and she informed me that whenever the Dey left or returned to me city he was always saluted in that way. She further added he was not expected to return for a fortnight. Feeling assured I should not be troubled by me Dey for some time, and finding myself much overcome from what I had undergone, I rang for lights, determined to retire to bed. Directly they understood my intentions, the slaves came round me for the purpose of undressing me, but I commanded them to retire, which they did, after placing everything for my service. I then locked the door, determined on again searching the room; still finding nothing to create any fear, I proceeded to undress myself, but at the very moment I had taken off my chemise, preparatory to putting on night linen, you may guess my terror on hearing a noise by the side of the bed. Ere I could have turned my head I found myself in the arms of the Dey, who was as naked as myself. Oh, God! you cannot imagine my terror and despair at this moment. You see how I was lulled into security that I might become an easy victim. I felt assured the Dey had left Algiers-the firing of the guns, the slave's account, was all trumped up to lull me to my ruin, all invented to throw me off my guard; in short, he allowed me no time for reflection. Defenceless and naked in his arms, I was carried to the bed and thrown down on it My shrieks must have been heard through the palace but no help was nigh to prevent my ruin. What could a feeble maid like myself effect against so powerful an antagonist? nothing-for in less time than it takes to write it, he forcibly extended my thighs and placed himself between them. Oh, God! even now, when it is all over, and recompensed as I have most certainly been for my sufferings, I tremble at the bare recollection of the dreadful anguish I suffered when he reduced my chastity to a bleeding ruin. I soon found it was useless to struggle or resist, I was a mere child in his arms; as to strength, he moved and placed me just as was convenient to his pleasure. I quickly felt his finger again introducing the head of that terrible engine I had before felt, and which now felt like a pillar of ivory entering me.
Directly he had secured its head within me, he withdrew his hand, placed his arm round my neck, and drew my lips to his. At this moment I was nearly insensible to everything he did, so much were my feelings overcome by fear and shame. But I was not doomed to remain long in this state, for I quickly felt him forcing his way into me, with a fury that caused me to scream with anguish. My petitions, supplications and tears were of no use. I was on the altar, and, butcher-like, he was determined to complete the sacrifice; indeed, my cries seemed only to excite him to the finishing of my ruin, and sucking my lips and breasts with fury, he unrelentingly rooted up all obstacles my virginity offered, tearing and cutting me to pieces, until the complete junction of our bodies announced that the whole of his terrible shaft was buried within me. I could bear the dreadful torment no longer: uttering a piercing cry I sank insensible in the arms of my cruel ravisher.
How long I continued in this happy state of insensibility, I know not, but I was brought back to life feeling the same thrilling agony which caused my fainting. Still grasped in his arms, I felt him moving up and down upon me with a force and energy that made me feel every motion of the instrument which I was impaled upon like the cutting of a knife. Every thrust he made was followed by some ejaculation, such as, ‘Delirious creature, how tight she is! Holy Mahomet, I thank you. Oh!
Ah', who would be without it There sweet infidel,' as he drove himself up to the hilt in me, with many other words in the Turkish language which I did not understand, until the fury of his thrusts became so cruelly savage that I a second time fainted.
Stretched beyond bearing, as I may say I was, by the instrument of my martyrdom before my second fainting, I now in spite of my suffering could not help being considerably surprised at the very great alteration I experienced, although I most sensibly felt it, but still it had lost most of that fierce stiffness with which it first tore me to pieces.
Whilst my mind was thus occupied with reflections on this novel change, my astonishment was augmented by feeling it as it were, by degrees, assuming all its former strength and erection within me, while the Dey was amusing himself with sucking my lips, me nipples of my breasts, and arranging my hair over my shoulders and bosom, in various ways to please his fancy, also moving my face into different positions, as he said, to see which way it appeared the most lovelyuntil the return of the same cruel distention of the parts painfully informed me his instrument had recovered its fierce condition.
The Dey now withdrew it all but the head, which he left between the lips of the sheath, which it had so lately formed for itself, and having with his hand satisfied himself as to its strength for performing the third assault, he withdrew his hand and keeping me firmly to his bosom, at one tremendous thrust drove it up into me, distending the tender, wounded and torn parts, until the mutual mixture of our hair stopped his further progress. He now lay for some time quiet in my arms, to all appearance from his various exclamations swimming in a sea of pleasure, sucking my breast and neck, until they became quite sore; all the time I lay gasping and stretched beyond bearing. Soon again I felt me commencement of his dreadful thrusts-at first, to be sure, they were not quite so fierce; but as his feelings were excited by enjoyment, so did the fury of his movements increase. I could not restrain my cries, and just at the moment his lunges were creating an anguish intolerable, a loud knocking at his door caused the Dey to jump from my arms. So dreadful was the anguish from the sudden way in which the cause of my suffering was withdrawn from me, that I again fainted. When I recovered, I found myself tying in the arms of the Dey, who was anxiously watching over me. He then informed me that the disturbance which had forced him so precipitately to leave my embraces was occasioned by one of his eunuchs coming to inform him of a sudden invasion of part of his territories by some Arabs which rendered it necessary he should immediately proceed to join his troops; but he swore by his Prophet severely to chastise them for disturbing him in a scene of pleasure so truly delicious-so he termed my ruin and shame. After kissing me over and over again, and bestowing various other caresses, he arose and retired through a sliding panel by the bedside, leaving me in the theatre of my undoing overpowered with anguish, more dead than alive. My sufferings, weakness and agitation soon threw me into slumber, in which my ruin and misery were for a time forgotten. Dreadful, indeed, were my sufferings in being deflowered. Never was poor maid so unceremoniously debauched, nor is it possible for anyone to suffer more cruel anguish than I did, in receiving my first lesson from this powerful Turk.
I did not awake from the refreshing sleep I so soundly fell into until late next morning. Upon attempting to rise, I found I was unable, from the dreadful stiffness of the parts that had been so terribly and unmercifully stretched. Unable to rise, I was obliged to remain in the scene of my undoing until the slaves came to awake me. With their assistance I got out of bed. Had you seen the sheets, you would indeed have pitied your poor friend. I found by the care, tenderness and respect with which I was treated that the Bey's orders respecting me must have been very particular.
I learned that he was not expected to return for some time. This news, being unexpected on my part^ acted as reprieve would upon a condemned criminal. It, of course, contributed considerably to soothe my wounded feelings; but at the end of a week, just as the flurry of my spirits had in some measure subsided to a degree of composure, I was again thrown into a state of alarm on being informed of his return, as well as his intention to pass that very night with me. I had just retired to bed when the communication was made to me, and his orders were scarcely delivered ere he was in my chamber. The news of his arrival had thrown me into a kind of stupor, from which I did not recover until his fierce kisses brought me to a sense of collection, when I found my second martyrdom was about to commence. You may be assured, from what I have already described of him, that I had nothing to expect from supplication or entreaties; still I did not fail to use them, supported by torrents of tears. These he paid no regard to, but took me in his arms, drawing me to his bosom and calling me foolish and silly to make such opposition to his pleasures. ‘Reason a little,' said he, drawing my lips to his, ‘consider the indispensable necessity that all loving creatures like yourself are under to lose the sweet flower I so lately gathered from you, which seems to have been so dear to you; consider the great end that nature has created you for, give over these unavailing tears, which only delay your tasting of the sweetest joys.
Then you talk about your virtue-pray, can you tell me in what it consists?' cried he, sucking my lips. I could only answer with tears. ‘Do you think,' said he, ‘if I enjoy you against your will, you are a bit the less virtuous? Or is it possible,' he continued, ‘that you are so simple as to believe that virtue depends upon any part of your beautiful body being a little larger or a little less. Of what consideration can it be to Ali whether this part is opened or unopened by man?' and to make me understand the part he meant, he forced his hand between my thighs, where his fiery touches left me in no doubt as to the part he alluded to.
He then was proceeding to place me in a situation convenient to satisfy his desires, but because I resisted his attempts, he flew upon me like a tiger, forcibly turned me on my back and divided my thighs; indeed, I found resistance of no avail.
The few days he had been absent seemed to have augmented his desires into a kind of frenzy. I cannot give you anything like a description of my sufferings as he now again forced his dreadful engine into me. The pain I felt was as cruel as when he first deflowered me. The chamber resounded with my shrieks. But he heeded them not; on the contrary, he increased the fury of his thrusts. Three times in the course of a quarter of an hour did I faint in his arms from the dreadful anguish.
On recovering I found, during my last insensibility, he had got off me. I cannot tell whether my tears and cries had made any impression on him, or what induced him to get out of bed; but he went to a closet in the room, where I plainly saw him anointing his instrument out of the contents of a small jar. After cleansing his hands, he returned to bed. It was not long ere he again got between my thighs. I lay trembling, expecting the cruel torment; but guess my astonishment when instead of experiencing the thrilling pain which had before always accompanied his penetration I felt him drive it into me up to the very hilt comparatively with no more pain than made me cry out two or three ‘Ohs'; but I still felt an extreme tightness accompanied with heated stretching. When I had received him up to the very quick, he tenderly kissed me, and asked if he hurt as much as before. I could not answer such a question, but I believe my blushes must have satisfied him on the point. Indeed, so great was the difference I now felt that I sustained this assault with very little suffering, until nature, unable longer to bear the tumult of pleasure with which the Dey seemed agitated, assisted him, and I for the first time felt with indescribable emotion something warm flowing from him in rapid streams, which deliciously cooled the parts he had so potently warmed. As I felt the last drop ejected from him, he sank on my bosom, without the least sign of animation, stretching himself out to his utmost length, which was the means of drawing his instrument from within me. It hung between my thighs quite bereft of all its power and erection, apparently as lifeless as its owner.
The reason of my escape from his first attack, the night I was brought to the harem, was now sufficiently explained to me. It was not long ere he recovered from his trance. I now perceived a wonderful attention in his behaviour. All his commanding and imperious looks had given way to respectful impassioned regards, although he still did just what he pleased; but there was some change in his manner of acting that I could not in any way account for. Remarkable as I found his attention, it was exceeded by what I soon experienced. Spite of my love for poor Henry, or the repugnance I naturally felt against the Dey as the violator of my chastity-spite of my sufferings in his furious embraces the difference of our religion and ages-can you credit what I felt, even at this early time of my undoing? I blush to write and confess it, but I am obliged to own I felt a voluptuous softness in his kisses, which acted as a balm, soothing me for the pains I had suffered. It is true my lips did not as yet return his pressures, but they submissively received them, inhaling every moment a dissolving poison, which quickly spread through my veins.
By this time I was aware, from the excessive hardness of his instrument, which was now lying on my belly, that it had recovered its wanton life and vigour, and presently the movement of his right hand gave notice I was again about to receive it But how shall I describe my emotion when, for the first time, I felt it enter me without the smallest particle of pain, with no more difficulty than the mere widening, as he penetrated and stretched each soft furrow, until the whole was completely sheathed and we reached the most complete union without my uttering anything more than a few tremulous sighs-which I could not prevent escaping me in view of the unutterable rapture which the fierce suction created, a sensation which, from being entirely new, was so deliriously indefinable. Do not think me a wanton for thus stating what I experienced. Believe me, I had not the power to resist the soft pleasure he now caused me to taste by the sweet to-and-fro friction of his voluptuous engine.
You, Sylvia, who are yet, I believe, an inexperienced maid, can have no conception of the seductive powers of this wonderful instrument of nature-this terror of virgins, but delight of women. Indeed there can be no description given of the pure delight, I may even say agony of enjoyment, excited by the excessive friction which the rapidity of its thrusts caused. I was soon taught that it was the uncontrolled master key of my feelings. My trembling it quickly banished; my confusion became breathless astonishment, which with the rapidity of lightning changed to a respect for my enjoyer so submissive in its nature that I already looked upon him as the disposer of my future destiny, and my soul became completely and securely resigned to him as he enjoyed my soft body and instructed me in the softest pleasure nature can participate in. My heart, my soul, my very being was melted by his thrilling thrusts, until at last my recollection failed me. I lost sight, and then again sank insensible in his arms, but from a very different cause from my other faintness.
I recovered from this lethargy of pleasure only to be again thrown into the same dissolving state, for the Dey, charmed with my entire submission, seemed determined that nothing should be wanting on his part to make my bliss complete. Being entirely relieved of pain, I swam in the sea of thrilling delight and enjoyment only known to the young maids just released from the pangs of expiring virginity. With these all my pains and fears vanished, together with the remains of my virgin bashfulness, the only thing that could throw any obstacle in the way of this luxurious novelty which so ravishingly filled my soul with ecstasy and astonishment. Although I yet had scarcely summed up courage to look my enjoyer in the face, the warmth of my caresses and tenderness of my kisses, the voluptuous agitation of my whole body, all sufficiently satisfied him how firmly the pleasure had fixed its seductive influence on my senses; and in the midst of our enjoyment, at the very moment he had worked my feelings into a state of delirium indescribable, he suddenly stopped his ravishing, luxurious movements, and kissing me with a softness that rushed thrilling to my heart, said, ‘Lovely houri, will you pardon me for the little respect I paid you in teaching you the mysteries of love?' Nearly fainting with the joy I possessed, I languishingly, for the first time, ventured to lift my eyes full in the face of my seducer but, unable to bear the brilliant lustre of his eyes, I hid my blushes in his bosom, where he felt his pardon sealed by a burning kiss. This unequivocal and tender acknowledgement of his power over me rekindled all his nearly satisfied desires, and, drawing my lips to his with a gust of passion time can never obliterate the remembrance of, he made me feel him in a manner so exquisitely touching, by such lovely and timely degrees, that I blessed the happy chance that had thrown me into his powerful arms.
In this manner was a great part of the night spent, until exhausted nature requiring a truce to our conflicts, we unconsciously fell asleep in each other's arms. In the morning I awoke first; the Dey was tying on his back, with one of his arms under his head, the other by his side.
There was not the slightest particle of bedclothes on either of us. In my sleep the pillow had got from under my head; on raising myself to replace it, I caught a glimpse of that terrible machine which had so furiously agitated me with pain and pleasure. I assure you, Sylvia, I could not look at it without considerable remains of terror, but my alarm was strongly mixed up with feelings of tenderness and respect I thought my eyes would now be satisfied with inspecting it, but was much disappointed with its present appearance. It hung over his thigh shrunk up into a small size, seemingly perfectly incapable of exciting the various sensations I had so potently felt However, reduced as it was in appearance, it had the same power of fascination over me which is attributed to the serpent's eye over the bird. I could not withdraw mine from it, and so intense was my survey that I did not observe the Dey had awoke, and was enjoying my abstraction of mind.
His laughing at me broke the spell which the sight I was engaged in had worked round my senses. To be caught in this occupation, you may be sure, threw me into infinite confusion; every part of me was covered with blushes, which I strived to hide in the bedclothes; but he took me in his arms, still laughing, covering me with kisses, and told me I had seen everything at a great disadvantage, but I should presently be gratified by a view which would please me. This kind of discourse, instead of diminishing, added to my confusion. But, to crown all, he seized my right hand, and, with gentle compulsion, forced into it what may be termed nature's grand masterpiece. I faintly struggled as I received it, but he was determined I should observe the effect of my hand on his sensible part At first it was as soft as a piece of sponge, but immediately it felt the warmth of my pressure, it began to throb, then to expand, and in a few moments that which at first I held with ease became a column of ivory, which I declare I could not even grasp. As he drew my hand up and down, it every moment seemed to increase in strength and length, until it attained so magnificent an erection that I could scarcely credit my sight Is it possible, said I to myself, that so tremendous a pillar could have been buried within me? My other hand, governed by my thoughts, strayed between my thighs to examine the possibility of my entertaining such a guest.
This movement of my hand in an instant discovered my thoughts to the Dey, ‘What,' said he, drawing me to his bosom, ‘do you doubt the possibility? Come, come, I shall soon remove your doubts; besides it is just you should reap the crop your hand has raised. Saying miss, he softly turned me on my bade, and got between my thighs, which I now willingly extended to receive him. Seeing my hair was in considerable confusion from our overnight's conflict, he leisurely placed it in order, laying the curls on my neck and breasts in the manner he thought most tempting. Having finished this employment, with his light hand he seized my left and, forcing it between his thighs, told me to pilot the vessel, as: he called it, safe into port You may guess how completely he had subdued and mastered my feelings when I tell you, Sylvia, that I instantly obeyed his directions. When he felt I had lodged it between the lips, he withdrew my hand, and I quickly felt the fierce insertion up to the quick. The narrowness was now no more than what heightened the pleasure of me Dey in the strict embraces of that tender, warm sheath round the instrument that had made it fit for that which it was so luxuriously adapted. After three or four thrusts, which he made, as it were, to satisfy me as to its being entirely engulfed, he directed me to place my legs over his back. I instantly did as he requested. As a
reward for my compliance, he drew out his shaft, all but the head, then drove it home into me eight or nine times in rapid succession, until I was stirred beyond bearing by the furious agitation it caused within me. I lay gasping, gorged and crammed to suffocation with rapture, till his short breathings, faltering accents, eyes twinkling with humid fires, and lunges more furious with increased stiffness gave me full notice of the approach of the dissolving period. It came-he died away on my bosom, distilling a flood within me that shot into the innermost recesses of my body, every conduit of which was upon the flow to meet and voluptuously to mix with his melting essence. As our mutual juices met and became one fluid, I sank insensible, drowned in a sea of delight of which words can convey no description.
Thus passed the second night of my undoing. After he had left me in the morning, and reason had resumed its empire, I was ‘fully sensible of my deviation from strict virtue in the return I had made to his pleasure.
This for a time filled my mind with melancholy thoughts, but I reflected it was the will of Heaven that my virginity should be reserved for the Dey. It was a thing settled by fate, that he should possess it, and I soon became entirety resigned, ceasing to reproach myself about that which I had no control over. The next day I was introduced to three of his other ladies-one French, one Italian, and one Greek. They were all lovely. The Grecian is named Zena, and I think I never beheld anything so lovely. She appeared about seventeen years of age, fair as a lily, with all the charms and freshness of her age, whilst the modest languish of her fine dark eyes, combined with a settled melancholy, gave an interesting appearance to her countenance which made her look peculiarly attractive. I felt great interest in this young girl, and will give you an outline of her history, and also that of the French and Italian ladies. I shall begin with the Italian, who spoke French equally as well as the Frenchwoman herself, and who related to me the short history of her coming into the possession of the Dey. I shall relate just as she repeated it to me. She was a most lovely woman, gracefully formed, with fine black languishing eyes, capable of creating the greatest interest; but she appeared of delicate health; her voice was tender, her mouth was rather large, but her admirably made lips with regular teeth, quite hid the defect; so fine and beautiful a head of hair I think I never saw; in fact, her person altogether was sufficient to create desire in the bosom of age itself. She related her story in nearly the following words:
The city of Genoa, where I was born, has been always famed above any town in Europe for the refinement of its gallantry. It is common there for a gentleman to profess himself the humble servant of a handsome woman and to wait upon her to serve in every public place for twenty years together without ever seeing her in private or being entitled to any greater favour than a kind look or a touch of her fair hand. Of all this sighing tribe, the most constant, and the most respectful of all those I knew was Signer Ludovico, my lover. My name is Honoria Grimaldi, I am the only daughter of a senator of that name, and I was esteemed a very great beauty in Genoa, but at the same time quite a prude, and most reserved.' The remark made me laugh, for she had the look of a very great libertine. ‘You may smile, but so great was nicety then, inpoint of love, that although I could not be insensible to the address of Signer Ludovico, yet I could not bring myself to think of marrying my lover, which would have admitted him to freedoms which I thought entirely inconsistent with true modesty-freedoms which then, I assure you, made me shudder to think of.'
I here asked whether the Dey had not rectified her ideas on that point.
She blushed and sighed, ‘Indeed, Madame, he was not long in effecting that change of opinion. In vain, Madame, did Ludovico speak of the violence of his passion for me. I answered that mine for him was no less so. But it was his mind I loved; I enjoyed that without having to go to bed with him, the very thought of which shocked and alarmed me. My lover was ready to despair at these discourses; he could not but admire such fine sentiments, yet he wished I had not been so perfect. He wrote me a long, melancholy letter. I returned him one for answer in verses, full of sublime expressions about my love, but not a word that tended to satisfy the poor man's impatience. At last he applied himself to my father, and to engage him to use his authority, offered to take me without a portion. My father, who was a plain man, was mighty pleased with this proposal, and made no difficulty to promise him success.
Accordingly he very roughly told me that I must be married the next day or go to a nunnery. This dilemma startled me very much. In spite of all my repugnance to the marriage bed, I found something about me extremely averse to a cloister. An absolute separation from Ludovico was what I could not bear; it was even worse than absolute conjunction.
In this distress, not knowing what to do, I turned over about a hundred romances in search for precedents. After many struggles with myself, I resolved to surrender upon terms; therefore, I told my lover I consented to be his wife, provided I might be so by degrees, and that after the ceremony was over he should not pretend at once to all the rights and privileges of a husband, but allow my modesty to make a decent and gradual surrender. Ludovico did not much like such a capitulation, but rather than not have me, he was content to pay the last compliment to my delicacy. We were united, and at the end of the first month he was happy to find himself arrived at full enjoyment of my lips.
'Whilst he was thus gaining ground, inch by inch, his father died, and left him a large estate in Corsica. His presence was necessary there, but he could not think of parting with me, so we embarked together, and Ludovico had good hopes that he should not take possession of his estate only, but of my virginity too, at his arrival. Whether it was that Venus, who is said to have been born out of the sea, was more powerful mere than on land, or whether it was from the freedom that is usual on board a ship, but whatever the reason it is sure that during the voyage I indulged him in greater liberties than he ever presumed to take before, for my neck and breasts were moulded by his bold hand. But while he was thus by degrees, as it were, reducing me to his wishes, fortune, who took a pleasure in persecuting him, brought an African corsair in our way, who quickly put an end to our dalliance by making us both slaves. Who can express our affliction and despair at so sudden and ill-timed a captivity? Ludovico saw himself bereft of his virgin bride on the very point of obtaining all his wishes, and I had reason to apprehend from the rough hands I had fallen into that my virginity was likely to be taken from me, whether I resisted or not But the martyrdom I looked for on the instant was unexpectedly deferred, for the corsair, seeing I was handsome, thought me worthy of the embraces of the Dey, and to him I was presented on our arrival here-unfortunate end to all my pure and heroic sentiments! The time was now arrived when I was doomed to be courted in a, manner opposite to that adopted by Ludovitio. My being a married woman was known to my captor, and was a (act which, of course, he communicated to me Dey.
'He naturally supposed me to be a finished woman. When I was brought to him he appeared much struck with my appearance, and instantly ordered everyone out of the apartment; then, rising off the couch he was sitting on, he took my hand and led me towards it.
On approaching it to my great astonishment he desired me in good Italian to be seated. I obeyed trembling, and he seated himself by my side. Directly he had seated himself he took hold of one of my hands, and demanded from what part of Italy I came, From the mildness of his speech and manner, I thought I could assume the same authority with him as I had done with Ludovico, so would scarcely answer any of his questions, whereupon the Dey, seeing the more tender and respectful his behaviour was, the more I presumed on his forbearance, suddenly seized me round the waist, and drawing my lips forcibly to his, continued sucking them with such force that he nearly made me faint.
The suddenness of the attack threw me into extreme confusion. Ere I recovered from it, the Dey had uncovered my breasts and was handling them just as he pleased, exclaiming every moment, as he pressed and handled them, "By Mahomet, how deliciously formed they are! how firm! how delightfully the nipples pout!" and such-like observations, which covered me with burning blushes.
'By this time I had recovered somewhat from my confusion, observing which the Dey, rising from the coach, said, in a low, determined tone,
"How now, audacious slave, do you presume to oppose the will of thy master? Show again the least opposition to my desires and in an instant I shall have thee scourged properly for thy presumption. So mark me, slave!" After this menace he again seated himself and drew me upon his knees, with his arms round my waist. His determined manner of treating me had such an effect that I dared not resist his forcing his hand again into my breasts; but after he had sufficiently satisfied himself with feeling and moulding them, he suddenly turned his hands under my petticoats. His threats were now forgotten; I again strenuously resisted and struggled, whereupon he immediately desisted, and getting off the couch, with a small whistle which hung on his belt, he called in his black eunuchs, to one of whom he gave some orders in the Turkish language; the fellow went out, but quickly returned with a whip, which had about a dozen tails. I was now seized by the two eunuchs, who forced me across the couch with my face downwards; each of the eunuchs held me over the couch by the arm, so that I could not possibly get away. Having me thus secure and unmindful of my tears or entreaties, the Dey lifted up my clothes, and threw them all over my shoulders, leaving everything below my waist as naked as when I was born. Would you believe it, Madame, he began to flog me in so unmerciful a manner that I could not retain my screams, of which he took not the least notice until he thought he had sufficiently punished my first offence. He then left off, and demanded if I would dare to oppose his wishes again. I could not at the moment have answered him, even if death had been the consequence.
However, he allowed me very little rime, but recommenced his flogging again, saying, "Oh, you are sullen are you? but I shall soon subdue you." Indeed, so painfully did I feel his lashes that at last I was able to cry that I would be submissive to his desires.
I was directly relieved from the position I was in, and the eunuchs were dismissed, when the Dey, just as if nothing had happened, placed himself by my side; but, seeing I sat extremely uneasily from the soreness of the part he had so unmercifully whipped, he caused me to lie down on my side, laying himself beside me. He then drew me to his bosom and after kissing away my tears, sucking my lips and forcing his tongue into my mouth (which created great disgust in me), presently demanded if I was not married, I shuddered out an affirmative. "Curses on the Christian dog, I say, that has plucked your virginity!" he replied;
"by Ali, I would have possessed it." You may be sure, Madame, this made me blush, which made him remark how much my blushes increased my beauty. Again my lips became his prey. "How long have you been joined to the Christian dog?" demanded he, withdrawing his lips to let me answer him. I stammered out, "Only a month." "A month have thy blushes, then, been polluted. Well, I must be content with you as you are. Indeed, you are a feast fit for a monarch. How languishingly delicious is the modest cast of your eyes! Kiss me, trembler!' I dared not disobey, and, covered with blushes, Joined my lips to his. He seemed much pleased with my obedience, and continued for some time most passionately kissing me. Whilst thus occupied, he slipped his right hand again under my petticoats and shift. A dreadful trembling seized me, but my fears prevented the least resistance, whilst his burning hand travelled over my most secret charms. Here was a change, Madame, from the respect of poor Ludovico! The smallest favour was not granted to him until after the most urgent persuasions, whilst the Dey took every liberty he thought fit, and I believe thought he was conferring an honour upon me. He had now got his hand between my thighs and, drawing my lips closer to his, he desired me to open them a little wider, that he might have full command of the shrine of pleasure where he said he meant presently to sacrifice. I did not at the moment obey him. "How now," he cried, changing his tone from the soliciting to the commanding, "darest thou neglect my orders?" Oh, Madame, the gradual extension of my thighs plainly spoke my fears. My tears flowed in torrents; my breasts heaved in convulsive agony. For a moment or so the Dey played with the soft down that crowns the mount of pleasure, and then slipped his finger between the lips of the road which until then had never been travelled, little dreaming of the discovery he was about to make. Indeed, on forcing his finger as far as he could into me, with great astonishment he found some difficulty in effecting entry, his efforts making me cry out that he hurt me.
Surprised at my cries, he instantly started up, and forcing me on my back, extended my thighs to their utmost width, "Why, by Mahomet, you are a maid!" he cried, as he minutely examined me. "What punishment do you think you deserve for thus deceiving me as to your virginity?" Trembling and panting with shame and fear, I replied that I had not deceived him, as he had only asked how long I had been married, and I had told him the truth. "Then how is it," he demanded,
"that your husband has not reaped his rights?" I at last confessed my maiden bashfulness had been the reason. At this the Dey laughed heartily, saying, "Whatever is the cause, holy Mahomet, I thank you for this unexpected treasure, but it shall not hang long on the stock for want of plucking." He then got off the couch, also assisting me to rise off my back; then applying the whistle to his mouth he summoned the same eunuchs, to whom he gave some directions as before. In obedience to his instructions they conducted me into a small room, every side of which was covered with glass: even the door at which I entered I could not discover when shut. In the centre of the room was a low dark-cushioned velvet couch, with one large cushion at the head; it was nothing but a plain broad couch, in the centre of which was fastened, properly extended, a beautiful white damask cloth.
'I was stripped in an instant by the eunuchs of every particle of my dress; they even untied the fillets which fastened up my hair; then, having reduced me to a complete state of nature, they retired, taking away my clothes. So much were my feelings overcome, that I was obliged to seat myself on the couch, or else I must have fallen. I was not doomed to wait long in suspense, for in a few seconds the Dey entered, as naked as myself. You, Madame, no doubt well know how little ceremony, in cases of this kind, he uses. He took me in his arms, after kissing me, and told me he was now come to redress the wrongs I had suffered in the cruel neglect of my husband. "But," he said, "it will soon be repaired; you quickly shall taste such joys as your beauties so well deserve you should partake of. But why these tears and sighs? Is this the way you meet my caresses and kindness? Is this the return you make my generosity in preparing to teach you those pleasure which your husband has neglected. Come, come, let me have no more of this folly!" So drawing me to his bosom, he gently forced me on my back.
"There now," he said, "lie down-no, not that way," seeing I was placing myself on my side, "it is on your back you must receive your first instructions. There, that's right; now open your soft thighs!" In an instant he was between them. I found I could not dare disobey. Finding my thighs were not quite extended enough, he soon widened them to his wish. I need not tell you how tremendously large the Dey is; turn in which way I would I could not help seeing in the glass the terrible pillar with which he was preparing to skewer me; quickly discovering the cause of my excessive alarm, whilst he was fixing its head between the lips of my virgin sheath, he tried by every kind of endearment to soothe me, assuring me the pain would be nothing-that my fears were unfounded; besides it was a sacrifice which nature had decreed, and once over the sweetest joys would be my reward; then why these foolish fears? Thus did he soften me to his desires. The head of his instrument was no sooner fixed in the opening than by four or five sudden shoves he contrived to insert the whole of it entirely, so that I could not see any part of it as my face turned towards the glass. At this moment his penetration was not deep enough to make me experience any great pain, but he, well knowing what was coming, forcibly secured one of his arms around my body.
'Everything was now prepared and favourable. My legs were glued to his, and I lay in his arms as it were insensible from despair, shame and confusion. He now began to improve his advantage by forcibly deepening his penetration; his prodigious stiffness and size gave me such dreadful anguish, from the separation of the sides of the soft passage by such a hard substance, that I could not refrain from screaming. Delicate as I was, he found great difficulty; but his Herculean strength in the end broke down all my virgin defences. My piercing cries spoke of my sufferings. In my agony I strove to escape, but the Dey, perfectly used to such attempts, easily foiled them by his able thrusts, and quickly buried his tremendous instrument too far within me to leave me any chance of escape. He now paid no kind of attention to my sufferings, but followed up his movements with fury, until the tender texture altogether gave way to his fierce tearing and rending, and one merciless, violent thrust broke in and carried all before it, sending his weapon, imbued and reeking with the blood of my virginity, up to its utmost length in my body. The piercing shriek I gave proclaimed that I felt it up to the very quick; in short, his victory was complete.
'What my sufferings at first were I need not dwell upon, as no doubt you must have experienced them as painfully as myself, from his extraordinary size. It was also increased from the want of delicacy he used in subduing me. But my suffering did not seem to be any consideration with him, for he gave me no respite in his proceedings, but by enjoyment after enjoyment very soon blunted the sharpness of the pain, and ere he withdrew from me I had sustained four assaults, which from their amorous fury had so stretched and opened me as to ensure I need never again complain on the score of suffering. Being satisfied on this point, he withdrew his shaft, and laying himself for a short time by my side, covered every part of me with burning kisses and caresses, assuring me that my sufferings were ended, and that I should shortly enjoy the pleasure of unmixed and pure delight in a manner that would reward me for all the anguish I had experienced in his fierce embraces. After reposing a short time on my bosom he got up and assisted me off the couch, which bore crimson evidence of my late loss. "Look," he cried, "my sweet slave," fondly pressing me in his arms,
"I shall have your name worked in letters of gold on it, and it will then be deposited with a number of others that ornament a room in my harem. By virtue of this you are entitled to many privileges, which will be explained to you. Among others you are forever exempt from any kind of attendance on my wives or chief sultanas, unless you choose to amuse yourself. But the slaves who will attend you will explain all the things which the blushing testimony of your chastity entitles you to."
He then placed such a thrilling kiss on my lips that it threw me into the greatest confusion.
'He now called some Turkish slaves, who brought every kind of female clothing. They were not long in completing my toilet. This finished, he conducted me into a magnificent room, where refreshments were laid out During the repast the Dey, by the most assiduous attention, strove to render himself agreeable, but as yet I could scarcely venture to look on him. It was still early in the morning. When we had finished our repast, he tenderly enquired if I felt inclined to refresh myself by taking some repose alone. He could not have proposed anything more agreeable, which must have been evident by the immediate assent I gave to his offer. I was directly supported by him to a sleeping apartment, where, after again and again tenderly kissing me, he left me with a female slave, who soon undressed me; and in a soft slumber, which I soon fell into, my misfortunes were forgotten. My sleep was long and of course refreshing. I was awoken by the slave, who informed me that dinner was nearly ready, I got up and was assisted by her to dress. I then took dinner. After dinner the slave drew my attention to a large quantity of books, in my own language, which the Dey had caused to be sent to me. I found them to consist of our choicest authors.
In my sitting-room he had occasioned a grand pianoforte to be placed, also an excellent lute, with a quantity of music, that I might not want amusement. I soon found several large portfolios of all kinds of prints, which alone were an inexhaustible store of amusement. The time imperceptibly passed in inspecting the various things which were placed for my recreation, until the slave reminded me that it was time I retired, as it was the Dey's intention to pass the night with me. What could I do? Resistance was now out of the question; my virtue and modesty had received their mortal wounds. I had, even if I wished, no resource; indeed, nothing was left to me but to submit to my fate.
Scarcely knowing where I was going, I was conducted to the bedchamber, and soon was reduced to a proper state to meet the Dey's desires, being placed in bed in a state of panting, blushing confusion, very little different from that state I was in in the morning, when he debauched me. I was not long kept in suspense. I soon found myself in his strong arms. But, oh, how changed I now found him! All the authority of a master which he had so strongly assumed in the morning was now lost in the most passionate and tender regards of a most devoted and even submissive lover-even poor Ludovico could not be more so. I soon found his present proceedings more fatal to my morality than all the favours he had ravished from me by force under the influence of punishment. Indeed, I cannot explain the feeling he soon created. As I lay on his bosom he kissed me in a manner quite new, keeping my mouth to his several minutes, every now and then thrusting in his tongue and sucking mine. All the time he was doing this his hand was travelling over every part of my body with burning touches, creating the greatest disorder. The unopposed enjoyment of my lips, and feeling every secret beauty I possessed had now so heated his spirits, that to prevent the fluid that was boiling within him being improperly lost, it was absolutely necessary there should be no delay in my resigning to him the possession of the gates of pleasure. So for had his pressures and touches heated and inflamed me, that he found no obstacle in turning me on my back and again placing himself between my extended thighs. I scarcely recollect how it was, but I certainly felt at the moment he was fixing his instrument the soft prelude of pleasure illuminating within me. From trembling and fear I already began to desire; and, good God! how can I describe the surprise I felt when with one energetic shove he lodged himself up to the hilt in me without the smallest sensation of pain. Never, oh never shall I forget the delicious transports that followed the stiff insertion; and then, ah me! by what thrilling degrees did he, by his luxurious movements, fiery kisses, and strange touches of his hand in the most private parts of my body, reduce me to a voluptuous state of insensibility. I blush to say so powerfully did his ravishing instrument stir up nature within me, that by mere instinct I returned him kiss for kiss, responsively meeting his fierce thrusts, until the fury of the pleasure and ravishment became so overpowering that, unable longer to support the excitement I so luxuriously felt, I fainted in his arms with pleasure, Ludovico, the flogging, and everything else was entirely driven out of my head. So lively, so repeated were the enjoyments that the Dey caused me to participate in with him, I wondered how nature could have slumbered so long within me. I was lost in astonishment that in all the caresses I received from Ludovico he had not contrived to give the slightest alarm or feeling to nature. I could not help smiling at my ignorance when I considered the ridiculous airs I had assumed to Ludovico about my chastity. The Dey, indeed, had soon discovered my folly, and like a man of sense, took the proper method to subdue me. In this way, in one short night, you see, he put to the rout all my pure modest virgin scruples, rapturously teaching me the nature of love's sacred mysteries, and the great end for which we poor weak females are created.
'During the first month of my captivity, my senses were kept in such a continual flow of rapture that what with sustaining his embraces at night and refreshing myself with sleep during the day, I had little else to do. But by degrees his visits to my apartment became less and less frequent, from the numerous beauties that came into his possession it could not be otherwise, but when I am honoured with embraces, so tender, so kind are his caresses, that I feel sufficiently repaid for his long absence, although I cannot but wish his visits were more frequent.
But I am content with my lot. I have now been in the harem nearly two years. This is my short history. Of Ludovico I have never heard anything since we parted, and under all circumstances I think it as well I should not, for it would now be impossible for me to return to him with anything like satisfaction to myself, so firmly has the Dey fixed himself in my affections.'
I have now, dear Sylvia, given you the history of the Italian beauty. I must confess the latter part of her history, which related to the gradual decrease of the Dey's visits, gave me a very uncomfortable sensation at first; but I was afterwards angry with myself for entertaining it a moment, when I considered during the whole time I have been in his possession, three nights out of every week have as yet been spent in his arms. Nor have I observed the least relaxation in either his attentions or desires. But I have been most dreadfully alarmed by something this Italian has communicated, which at first I did not give the least credit to. When we had related to each other our histories, of course we became considerably more intimate and familiar in our conversation.
She asked me whether I felt any pleasure when the Dey enjoyed me behind. I told her I did not understand what she meant by behind. She laughed most immoderately at my ignorance, and would scarcely credit what I had asserted, particularly as she knew the Dey was so fond of the other route. I requested her to explain herself. ‘Are you not aware,' said she, ‘that a woman has two maidenheads to take?' On my replying in the negative, she answered, ‘You have, though. Under the alter of Venus is another grotto, a little more obscure, to be sure; but there the Dey will offer up his sacrifices with characteristic energy.' I was all in a tremble at this discourse, and demanded of her if the Dey had ever enjoyed her in that position. ‘Most certainly, many times,' was her reply. ‘If you doubt what I say, the next time I am favoured with a morning visit by the Dey, you shall judge with your own eyes as to the fact; it can be easily managed, as our suites of rooms are contiguous.'
'Is it possible,' cried I, ‘that you receive any pleasure from a conjunction so beastly and unnatural?'
'What innocence, my dear, what childishness!' replied the libertine.
‘Do you not know that the men consider every part of us formed entirely for their pleasures; one enjoys us one way, one another, each man according to his lechery. You may rely upon it one of these days the Dey will instruct you in this way and rectify your ideas on the subject.'
This conversation, and other matters which this Italian informed me of and which I could not drive from my thoughts, threw a considerable gloom over my feelings. In the evening the Dey visited me, and immediately saw by my countenance that something had disordered me. After considerable persuasion he contrived to extract what had caused my distress.
'And why should this, dearest Zulima, give you any uneasiness?' said he, tenderly taking me in his arms and kissing me.
'I can see no reason why it should have raised a cloud on this lovely face; nor could I for a moment have supposed, if I had requested my sweet slave to have administered to my joys in that way, there would have been any denial. I hid my face in his bosom, and told him in our country it was considered the most degrading crime that could be committed, that it was punished with death.
'I am aware,' replied he, ‘that the English nation consider it a crime, but I was not acquainted with the magnitude of the punishment. But, Zulima' (I forgot to mention before that I received a new name from the Dey, as is customary with all captives), ‘your country is the only one in the world that either considers it a crime or punishes it. Besides, Zulima, you are not in England now, nor are you likely ever to go there again. You are mine until one of us shall shake off this mortal form; therefore, you must submit to everything that I conceive will be an addition to my pleasures. Does not the English law direct that the wife shall be obedient to the husband in all lawful desires?'
'Yes,' I replied.
'Well, then, although you are not my wife in fact, still you are, according to our laws, considered the same. To become my married wife you must change your religion. But still you are considered my wife, therefore must submit to my lawful desires. By our laws we are permitted to enjoy our wives or concubines in any way that adds to our luxuries; in other words it is lawful that I may enjoy, and you must resign, your second virginity whenever I require you to do so. After all, dear Zulima, how can it possibly be construed into a crime? It is true that the seed which I have so often distilled within you with such dissolving pleasure is given by nature to multiply our species, so to divert its natural course may in some measure be construed as an offence against nature by those who do not give it any consideration.
Put the case thus: to divert and cast away seed is a crime. Now it is clear that the seed, even when deposited in its natural receiver, is entirely lost forty-nine times out of fifty. For instance, immediately sufficient seed is injected into the womb, the female conceives; then the mouth of the womb closes, and until the delivery of the child does not open again. If the female is fruitful, and properly enjoyed, she will conceive to a certainty in three months; it is six months more at least ere she will be delivered of her burden; consequently at every embrace the female sustains after conception, the seed that is shot within her is entirely lost or misused. Now what difference can there be as to where the seed is lost if it be lost? Where is the offence or crime? What difference whether the seed is uselessly deposited in the grotto of Venus, or injected in the temple below it? None in the world, lovely slave! My Grecian and Corsican slaves submit to any kind of enjoyment as a matter of duty and submission, in which they are instructed from their infancy. I have two Italians who think it no kind of crime; to my French slave it is a mere bagatelle. I was aware of the prejudices of your nation, and from the joys I found in your embraces did not like even to broach the subject to you.'
'Then,' cried I, throwing my arms round his neck and fondly kissing him, ‘let the pleasures you confess I have afforded you save me from what I consider would be the greatest disgrace I could possibly experience.'
'This is folly,' cried the Dey, ‘I can make no promise of the kind.'
'But you must,' I replied.
'How?' demanded he. ‘You have sworn by your holy Prophet to grant me any favour I choose to request; you recollect your sacred oath?'
'I do certainly.'
'Well, then, the favour I request is that I may be spared the pollution we have been discoursing of.'
'Can Zulima think that any act of Ali would pollute her?' cried he, rising from the couch with great heat and indignation. It was the first unkind word he had used to me since he had me. My heart sank within me whilst he continued, ‘It is true I made the oath, and must religiously observe it. I shall leave you to reflect, foolish slave, on your childishness in thus attempting to bind my pleasures by an oath made in a moment when your deceitful blandishments had softened me into a belief that your love and devotion to me was as sincere as your person is beautiful.
When you have altered your opinion you can inform the chief eunuch.
I may, perhaps, then pardon this insult, and restore you to favour.' He then left me, muttering the word ‘pollution', unmindful of my tears, which quickly began to flow at his angry looks.
As he went out of the room my spirits failed me entirely. I sank on the couch overwhelmed with grief, railing against the mischance that brought me acquaintance with this Italian, whom I considered as the cause of my rupture with the Dey. My tears continued for nearly an hour after his departure, which no doubt considerably relieved me.
However, I began to comfort myself with the hopes that his anger would not last. But, indeed, I did not properly estimate his character.
The next day passed without my seeing him; a second, third, fourth passed in anxious, I may say almost breathless anguish, watching and listening for the approach of his well-known footstep. Guess the cruel suspense I suffered. Habituated to the sweet pleasure of his embraces, my desires began rapidly to overpower the scruples which early precept had instilled in me. My unsatisfied feelings became every hour stronger and stronger, until on the fifth day I was again visited by Honoria, the Italian, who entertained me with a long account of her happiness, having passed two nights running with the Dey; her transports went like daggers to my heart, but gave the decisive turn to my wavering indecision. I instantly resolved to submit to the Bey's desires, and wrote him a letter accordingly.