Far out, man! I mean it's a gas you want to know about my sex life. I feel like Geraldine and I wanna say, "I don't do windows but I do suck cocks!"
And baby-child, that's what I do and I do it better than just about anyone I can think of. My boyfriend – I call him Honky because it gets him mad and I love to tease him – he says to me, "Man, I'll bet so – and so can do my big black dick real justice," as he's watching her on the late news. And I look at him and say, "Listen, baby, I know So-and-so is one together chick, but I know I could teach her a few things about sucking cock!"
He just looks at me and leans back in the chair and he says, "Frieda, my load's buildin' up in there and I'm gonna beat it off unless you get down there and do somethin' about it fast!"
So I do a whole number, you know, pretending that I don't want to… I stand up and click off the fucking TV – I hate television – and I put on a record – Aretha or maybe B. B. King – and start to dance right there. In front of him. My man looks up at me and watches my titties swinging just above his bushy head and he's getting hotter than hell. I see that old black magic rising in his pants and my pussy starts in quivering and shaking and itching. I start opening the buttons on my dress – it's very tight and long and slinky, very 40's; Honky loves anything that clings to my body – and he's sitting there with sweat pouring all down his shiny forehead.
Honky is some man, let me tell you! He's twenty-seven and he's really got it together. He's tall and muscular and strong, and has a cock on him like none I've ever seen and I've seen them all, and you'd better believe it. When they say Black Power honey they're talking about my Honky. Every chick I know wants him to ball her, every chick I know wants to nibble on his dick. But that is reserved for me and me alone, and I'm good at it. Holy Jesus in Alabama, I'm damn good at it!
So, anyway, I'm dancing around the room and I pull my dress open just enough for one of my titties to fallout. He looks up and sees it and licks his lips. He's stoned – we shared a joint of good grass just before the news – and he feels mellow and sexy. His cock is so hard it's practically ripping through his pants. I can already see it in front of my lips. I can taste it, I can feel the creamy liquid going down my throat.
"Frieda, come on here, girl, and suck my dick… baby, baby, baby." Aretha is blasting and he's writhing in time with the music, moving his ass on the cushions of the couch. I finger my left breast and the nipple is hard, rigid. I hold it and bend down, squeezing it above his face, right in front of his eyes. He puts his tongue out and I give him a little lick of the tip, and then pull it away. He groans and sinks deeper into the chair.
I pull my dress down to my waist and dance like that, with my hands in the air, feeling like Aretha myself, pretending to be on a stage, in front of men, lots of men, all looking like my baby-man Honky, all sitting out there with their dicks in their hands, beating off as they watch me strip in front of them. Then, after I'm done, when I'm turned on, I'll suck each of them, crawling on my knees down the rows, taking each big black dick in my mouth and never letting them forget what it's like to be sucked by a superstar!
And, man, I got fantasies, and I live them out. I suck cock, all kinds of cock, and I suck it good, man, real good! Us black chicks weren't born with nice full thick lips for nothing, you know? When my mammy was nursin' me – down in Alabama – when I was suckin' on her big fat thick nipple – I was already preparing for a future of sucking something other than nipples. The preacher used to say, "Sister Bertha, Frieda is gonna grow up to sing in the choir! She moves her lips night and day!"
And I did sing in the choir, till one day the choir-master pulled up his robe when we were alone after rehearsal and he told me the Lord said to him that it was time to teach little Frieda about love. He pulled out his long black shaft and told me to get on my knees and pray. I prayed, all right, with that thing down my throat, till he shot so much jism in my throat, I thought I'd pass out right there in the church! That was the night I got religion! And that was the night I realized I had better get outta Alabama, cause singing in the choir was no good for this girl any more!
So here I am in Chicago, and Honky keeps me and makes me his woman and loves me, and life is easy, you know? I got my music, I got my books, I got my dope and my man's cock. What more can a girl ask? If you ask me, baby, that's soul! One crazy nigger, he says to me once, "Frieda, baby, you got soul!"
I say, "How come you say that, Bernard? You flying – on mescaline again?"
"Frieda baby," he shouts like I was ten miles away, "Honky tells me how you suck the livin' devil outta his cock and a chick who do that, she's got soul!"
I got soul, and don't you forget it. Anyway, I'm using all the soul I can muster up as I let my dress slip down, down, down, till the hairs on my pussy show. Then I take a deep breath and hold it in and give a big bump with my hips and the dress slides down to the floor and I stand there, flash in my pussy in all its glory, right in front of my baby-man.
He's going crazy, nuts, bananas. He's rubbing his cock so hard I think his pants are going to give out!
"You gonna suck me, Frieda honey, sugar?"
"Why Honky, how dare you suggest something so awful? I'm just dancing." I'm all innocence now.
"Frieda honey, I got something for you I think you're gonna like… far far fucking out."
He's zonked and I love it. He throws his head back and opens the silver buttons on his fly – he's a fantastic dresser, Honky – and then undoes his belt. All the time I'm still standing there naked, just moving my hips with my feet planted on the floor. I'm listening to Aretha and watching my man and having a hell of a time!
All of a sudden I see it. The light from the candles make it shine, glow. It's almost eleven inches long, and so thick I've never been able to put my hand around it all the way. He's holding it by the base, waving it in the air, flopping it around. I look down and put my hand to my mouth, pretending to be offended by such a sight.
"Baby, it wants you."
I just bat my eyes and place one hand on my pussy. "It wants to go in me, here?" I ask, rubbing my fingers over my slit.
"Let me tell you something, girl, you're just gonna get down on your knees and suck it hard, you hear?" He's really excited now, and he starts pulling his pants down to his ankles. I kneel down and unzip his white and black checkered boots with real tall heels. He kicks them off as I lean back and soon his pants are off and he's sitting there in a tight shirt and his sox.
I run my fingers up his hairy legs and stop just under his balls. Honky has two nuts to match his cock – incredible! Once my girl friend Bernice was staying with us and she walked in the bedroom when Honky was fucking my mouth and she saw it from behind. He was going at it like wildfire, and she said his balls were banging against my chin like those big balls they use to knock buildings down with, the kind that swing from a crane. Well, shit, man, his balls swing from his crotch, but they easily could knock down any building! He could raze the entire city of Chicago in twenty minutes if he'd just spread his legs and let them go!
"Wheee!" I'm getting carried away. Anyhow, I played with him like that, getting him all excited as he began smoking another joint. Oh shit, man, listen to me! I'm telling it like a story from yesterday, and I want it to be happening for you now!
So, Honky spreads his legs wide and moves his ass down in the chair some more till his balls hang over the edge of the cushion. I take them in my hand and look up at his cock, and see it lying against his stomach. He is in another world, puffing on his joint, putting all his feeling and soul into the place I'm at – in his balls and cock and tight asshole.
And man, I'm so excited I think I'm gonna cream right there on the floor. My pussy is dripping already, I can feel it. I touch it with my fingers and resist fucking myself 'cause I know I'll come easily and I wanna save that moment for my man, 'cause he loves to finger me when he shoots in my mouth.
So Honky puts his arms out over the top of the couch and lets me go to town; and baby, I'm going to the fucking moon down there, let me tell you! I start licking his balls, like a little dog, you know? I do it with long, even strokes, running the entire length of my tongue over each globe, stopping just at the bottom of his thick cock. Then I kiss each one, taking turns, until I start drawing each one into my lips a little.
"Baby, oh baby," my baby-man says. His cock looks like it's gonna explode right now! He's flying in the stars, and I'm doing it to him, and the feeling is far out, really far out! There ain't nothin' like it!
I suck on one of his balls and then open my mouth real wide and pull them both in. It isn't easy, cause they're so big, but I can do it. I've had enough practice. He loves it. He starts moaning like a baby – that's why I can him my baby-man, 'cause he's such a big stud and when I have him under my sexual power he's just a baby – and I suck his nuts in and out, driving him out of his ever-loving black mind!
Then I pull my lips away and roll his balls in my fingertips, caressing them. Because they're so wet with my saliva, they move easily. The hairs – man, he's a hairy motherfucker! – are rough and thick. I pull them and twist them. He moans and sighs and moves his ass cheeks deeper into the couch. I know he wants me on his dick, but I'm gonna let him beg for it…
I move my pussy against his leg and he feels the hair. He lifts his foot and I can feel the bone of his leg cutting against my cunt lips, pushing them open. My juices make his leg wet and he pulls up so his sock touches my cunt, and it dries my thighs a little. That does more to me and I feel even more excited. I can't stand it. I gotta have his dick in my lips.
"Honey baby, your pussy's drippin' all over the rug…" he whispers, smiling.
"Don't you worry about that none, the rug's already fulla your jism."
He smiles some more and reaches down and grabs the base of his cock with his right hand. He lifts it off his belly and holds it up in the air. "Come on, honey, suck this beautiful dick…"
He knows he's got the best-lookin' black dick in all Chicago. He's the biggest stud I've ever seen and I'm always amazed that I'm his woman. Everyone wants him, everyone wants to fuck with him. But what they don't know is he likes getting sucked more than anything, and I'm the best blow job in the Goddamned world.
And I'm gonna give it to him. He holds his cock there as I move closer to it. My nipples brush against his thighs and I press down so his balls are between them, between my tits. He gasps and moves his cockhead – it's huge, bigger and rounder than you could imagine – against me and I lift my head so it touches under my neck. He squirms and then drops it and moves his hands back to the top of the couch.
Then I bring my fingers up and start caressing that gorgeous tool. Man, it's big. I've never seen another guy quite so big – well, that's not true. I've sucked a few black studs who were just about as big, I guess. But I've never met a white guy with a cock like Honky's. They say black meat is the best, and they sure as hell know what the fuck they're talking about! I'll suck a white cock anytime if I like the guy, but baby, it'll never come near satisfying me like a big thick black dick will. I think it's what I'm on this earth for. That's why I got my little ass out of Alabama. Those Southern niggers are too up tight, too afraid, George Wallace and all that shit and memories of the whole slave number. Us Northern cats are okay, in tune, together. We get our pussies out and our cocks out and we do it. Down South, they just talk about it and then go through a guilt trip about the past. Fuck the past. We live for now!
I run my fingers up the length of his dick and stop just before I reach the head, 'cause that's the part that really drives his head into orbit. Then I tickle it and lift it and let it drop back to his smooth, tight black stomach. He lifts one leg up on the soft cushion and his asshole is open before me also. I run my fingertips from just under the head of his cock, down the shaft, over his huge balls, and right to the opening of his asshole. I rest them there and he starts undulating like the devil got in him!
Then I move my lips up close to his dick, so he can feel my breath. I breathe over the tip of his cock and lift my head. There is a huge gob of semen sitting there on the slit in the tip. I bend down again and flick it off with my tongue and Honky goes nuts! He starts moaning and asking me for it, begging, calling me all kinds of sweet names. I still won't suck it.
Finally he wraps his fingers around the bottom of his dick and holds it up in the air. He grabs my hair with his other hand and lets out a shout, "Suck my cock, you black bitch! You cunt! You cocksucker!" and rams my head down with his powerful hand. My eyes bulge as the tip of his enormous cock slams against the back of my throat and my whole body shakes. It's what I want, it's what I need. Man, I love to hear him order me. He's such a man, so strong. What a Goddamn stud!
He pulls his hands away and becomes my baby again. I start working like always, sucking first on the tip. I curl my tongue down under the ridge and up the slit. I can taste more drops of his thick come and it only serves to increase my excitement. My pussy is flapping down there and my titties are hard as rocks.
I grasp his cock base with both hands and move my lips up and down, taking as much of the long thing as I can. I suck and then am gentle, and I use my tongue a lot, tickling and licking, driving up the fucking wall. He starts to move his hips up and down and he grabs my head and holds it still. Then he fucks my mouth, thrusting his cock up and down, in and out, raping the back of my throat, scraping against the smooth white teeth, running over my sensitive tongue. I move one hand down to play with his balls and I held them tight, feeling them contract from the excitement. He can't take it any more and he releases my head. Then, with his cock still in my mouth, he moves his whole body forward and stands up, and I stay connected to him, kneeling in front of him.
"Take that outta your mouth and suck my hole a little," he says. I obey. I drop his cock and shake my head – feels good, my hair gets all matted and shaking it makes it fluffy – and open my lips. He turns around and places his smooth male ass in my face. I brush against it, putting little kisses all over it, as he bends over and spreads his legs. His beautiful asshole flowers open in front of my eyes and I put my lips to it. He moans and spreads his cheeks with his hands. I dart my tongue in and out of his anus and it just about causes him to come! I reach under, between his legs, and grab hold of his throbbing cock. Man, lean tell he's hot! It's enormous! I pull on it, forcing it down between his legs, hurting him a little, as I still suck on his asshole.
Then I move my lips down and kiss his balls again and pull his cock further so it is pointing at me from between his legs. I take it in my mouth, still holding it tightly in my hand. He bends as far as he can, with his hair touching the floor, and he watches from underneath, watches my hand and my mouth and my titties and my wet pussy. I suck till he is ready to shoot, and I stop suddenly and let go of his cock. It flies back into position and hits his stomach, and his balls bounce back down between his legs. He stands up and looks down at me.
"Baby honey, we better get it on or I'm gonna have this big mother accident," he says, as he comes down to the floor. He stretches his big body out and positions himself alongside me, in a sixty-nine position. His big dick is in front of my face and my pussy is ready for his lips and his hand. I take his cock into my mouth and start sucking. I grab his balls with one hand and reach around and play with his asshole with the other. I slide my little finger up his ass – with the help of my saliva – and I know he's ready now, this is what he likes the best. And I'm ready for his load – his big load – and I want to choke on it, I want to gag on it, I want to be smothered by it!
This feeling of electricity shoots through my cunt as he kisses it. Man, the feel of his thick stud lips against the little lips of my pussy is too much for one chick to stand! His tongue sneaked up me right away and he was sucking on my clit as hard as I was doing his dick.
I sucked and sucked, and I could feel his balls contracting, and inside his asshole my finger could feel a tightening – I knew he was just about ready. And I knew it would be a good one 'cause of the grass and all, and 'cause I was pouring my pussy juice right into his mouth.
He sucked me as hard as he could until his tongue got tired and then he shoved his fingers in there. He knows just what to do – how to tickle my clitoris and fuck my vagina and caress the lips of my pussy at once. And it brings me to a climax almost immediately.
"Frieda, you beautiful black cunt, I'm gonna shoot my wad in your face, baby…" He was shouting in the air watching his fingers moving in and out of my cunt. He trembled and then froze and shoved his hips into the air. His cock ripped the back of my throat and suddenly I felt the jolt in his asshole, the swelling of his balls, and then the terrible burst of fire in my mouth. I sucked hard, and my mouth was filled with spurt after spurt of milky liquid, and I swallowed it and let some dribble down my chin and cheeks. And inside me I was at the peak of my climax and down between my legs I let loose with a gush of pussy juice that poured all over Honky's big black hand.
He kept jutting his hips up, forcing his cock back and forth in my mouth, with each burst. I thought it would never stop coming. It's like a good song you never want it to end.
I finally let his cock slip from my mouth so I could lick the come that had run down it. I lapped it all up and then rolled my head over the length of it, covering my soft skin with his cream. I couldn't get enough of it, and I took the cock back in my lips and started in again. In about three minutes he shot off, this time with a load not quite as big as the first, but enough to make me happy. My man was giving me the milk and honey, and I was seeing the Lord! Now I know what the preacher was shouting about down there in Alabama!
Well, honey, I'm remembering it again, instead of telling it like it was happening now. Anyway, you get the basic picture. I'm a cocksucker. A black cocksucker, and I'm proud of it, honey, cause I do what I have to do and there ain't nobody in this world who's gonna tell me different. My man is my baby-man, and he's gonna be sticking that wild black thing that hangs down his leg into my mouth till one day I choke to death on it. And honey, I can say to you right now, I can't think of a better way to go!
"You know, it's really been far out telling you all this! My pussy is dripping! Wheee!"
The most significant of Frieda's perversions is her inability to experience coitus. Never once in reviewing her case, did she express a desire to have a union of the genitals.
As the child matures and passes through the stages of sexuality, of which the oral is the primary stage, followed by the anal stage, the phallic, and lastly the genital stage, the possibility arises of becoming fixated at one of these levels. Frieda is obviously a pervert fixated at the oral level. Her mouth has remained the primary sexual organ.
How does this happen? Possibly we get a clue from her experience with the choirmaster. We know that traumatic moments in childhood, especially those connected with sexuality, are liable to leave fixation points which are determined by the repetition compulsion until they abreact or the traumatic emotion is released.
Even though Frieda does not seem to look upon this experience as a particularly horrifying one, it was after all her first sexual experience. And, if this was the first time she became aware of the anatomical distinctions between the sexes, this would have definitely precipitated a trauma.
During the clitoral level of development, i.e. at about the age of four, the little girl experiences a "genital trauma" which exhibits two characteristics. Firstly, and most importantly, she realizes that, unlike the little boy, she is equipped with genitals which do not give her an adequate outlet for pent-up sexual aggressions. Thus, she turns her aggressions inward, in contradistinction to the little boy, who turns his toward the external world. In this "turn inward", she awaits vaginal penetration before she can attain the genital stage of sexuality. In the meantime, she regresses, usually to the anal level.
In the case of Frieda, because of the fixation provoked by the trauma she remained at the oral level. But this, is by no means the only etiological factor.
As another consequence of the "genital trauma", the little girl, when noticing the male genital, envies him his possession. Possibly, this envy is replaced first by a wish for the father's penis, then by symbolical displacement into having a child, Helene Deutsch said that there is not a woman within whom some traces of "penis envy" cannot be found. In other words, penis envy is normal.
But with Frieda, the normal acts of repression were not accomplished. Rather she both denied the "genital trauma" and its effect, the castration complex. And paradoxically, she sought this object in the external world, as a cannibal seeks his food.
As an illustration of the denial, we may call attention to her contention that she herself ejaculated hypothetical pseudo-sperm in "great quantity". Certainly, this is a physiological impossibility. However, her wishes dominate her reality.
The oral zone is the first to become associated with pleasure, and the child receives this pleasure from his mother's breast. Initially, the child considers the mother's breast to be part of his body, and not a part of his mother. Only later does he recognize the breast as an object and, at this time, he desires not to be separated from it but to have it always. Thus, he goes through an aggressive oral, or cannibal, stage. It is during this stage that the child develops teeth and the mother is forced to wean him.
Frieda even remarks herself that she finds a symbolical unity between the breast and the penis, and she substitutes the latter for the former in her fantasies. Her violent attitude towards all men except Honky after she is orally separated from their organ, is a manifestation of this breast-penis identification. Honky is the exception because she has identified with his penis. Honky's penis becomes her possession she even calls it her "baby", the one all the other women desire. Thus Frieda seeks a breast from which she was never able to wean herself, and simultaneously denies the absence of the phallic as her anatomical part.
Karl Abraham tells us, in his book The First Pre-genital Stage of the Libido: from abreaction… persons who cling to infantile pleasure sucking are invariably seriously hampered in the development of their sexuality. Their instincts of nutrition and of sexuality remain to a certain extent intermingled. Their libido does not find the way to a living, human object in a normal manner, but seeks its gratification in the first instance in sucking up a material into the mouth.
The connection with Frieda is obvious. Her mouth is her genital area; she has never progressed to full feminine genitality. For her, love, in the true sense of the term, does not exist, coitus is impossible, she gives no pleasure and cares for no object. She only wants gratification from the substitute breast. To Frieda men are only a means to this end.
We also notice that Frieda is also an overt exhibitionist and finds pleasure in anal erotic practices. These are like adjuncts to her almost wholly perverted sexual nature.
Last night I was so motherfucking horny I thought I was gonna go outta my mind! I called my girlfriend and she was goin' out with some assfucker, so I decided I'd go out and get me a little action. I was thinking about Honky being locked up in that there jail cell and lying there on his little bed, beating that beautiful nigger meat in the air, and I wished I could be there, just to put my mouth on it and help him out, know what I mean?
I may as well tell you, cause you're cool, I know. Honky, he got busted and sent up for a long time I think. His trial is put off – you know how fucked up this here country is – and he's waiting on it, man. He had all this shit on him when his pigs pulled him over. Hell, they was getting him for driving without a Goddamn tail light, and they take one good look at his eyes and they knew he was on something, man. So they look in the trunk of his car and they find all those pills and all that grass and they kicked the shit outta him, right there on the side of the road. Fuckin' pigs!
So, they take my Honky away, and I'm a lonely girl, I can tell you. I used to get my kicks from his cock, you know? Now there's no more cock, and when I think about it I get all pussy wet and hungry for it. I started taking some uppers and got into some heavy shit, but I'm not really into it. I shoot up a little bit in the afternoon, sometimes, but never more than that. It's just taking the place of my baby-man and I know that, so there's nothing little Frieda has to worry about. But I'm so lonely…
And all the time I'm meeting these strung-out cats, and I want a guy with a good hard dick cause I want to suck, baby, and it's no good sucking on a junkie's dick cause it won't get stiff. So lately I've been finding my boys in the straight neighborhood, and it's been going pretty smoothly.
Take last night. I was so horny I knew I had to get outta the house and find myself a man. I went down the street but all the usual freaks were there. This one real jive cat – he's an asshole, you know he says to me, "Hey, Frieda baby, you going shoppin'?"
I looked at him and stopped walking, giving him this very Flip Wilson pose with my hands on my ass. Then I looked at him and says, "Honey, what you mean is I going shoppin'? I'm going to the meat market, and I know just what I want."
He gives me this big dopey smile and his hand down on his crotch and says, "Honey, I got some meat you'll love to eat. You missing your man must have you all nice and gooey by now."
I just bat my lashes and smile. "Honey, I'm gonna go set me some white meat to nibble on. You black better get your asses back down to and let some nice Southern belles your cocks along with their mint juleps."
"See this," he says to me, pulling his dick outta his pants. "No white boy's got anything like this."
"And no black boy has anything like my Honky," I said and walked off down the street. Hell, it wasn't easy. The sight of his nice long cock was enough to give me shivers, but I didn't like that boy, never have liked him, and I was really looking for a white guy. I don't know why, but since those white pigs got my baby-man, I been lusting for white cock.
I found this kid standing near the subway, and I could tell right away he was cruising me. He looked like he was about my age – middle twenties – but very straight. He was wearing jeans and a jacket to match and I could see a nice bulge in the front of his pants. I walked by him and pretended to see something on the ground. I bent over, with my ass facing him, and pretended to pick it up. That way he could see I wasn't wearing any underpants.
When I stood up, I could see his face was red and his eyes were flaming. His cock was getting longer and longer in his pants, and I stood there watching it, staring at it. Then I pulled a cigarette from my purse and put it to my lips. I looked at him.
"You want a light?"
"Honey sugar, can you spare one?" I had softly, glancing down at his pants again. He moved and walked toward me and that thick long bulge moved with his leg. I could even make out the rounded tip and the ridge under it. Immediately, Honky's dick flashed through my mind and I could feel the wind up my legs, tickling my pussy hairs. Man, I wanted to suck his cock.
He gave me a light and I stood close to him so the match wouldn't be blown out by the wind. His leg brushed against mine and that was all we needed.
"You wanna go somewhere?" he asked.
"Honey, I got a candle burning in my place just for you…" And with that he took my arm and we walked up the street. When we turned to cut through the alley near my house, we stopped and without saying a word, kissed. He wasn't no black boy kisser, but he was okay. I rubbed his cock through his pants and he got down on his knees and stuck his head under my little skirt. My pussy opened in front of him and he tickled the lips with his tongue.
"I gotta have you, gotta suck you," he said, almost desperately. He looked around and spotted some garbage cans, just a few feet away. "Come here, put one foot up on this," he ordered, pointing to a small can.
I did it, and my pussy was flapping there in the breeze. He knelt in the dirt and sucked me into his lips, gnawing at my pussy lips till I thought I'd fall over. I pushed forward and he brought his hands up and held my buttocks and played with my asshole. I was seeing double, and I pretended it was my Honky come back to give me a nice licking. I saw Honky, and saw his cock, and then I felt the tongue brushing like crazy over my clit, and I started moanin' and carrying on like you wouldn't believe! Then my juice started coming, and this white boy got it all over his face as he sucked it out of me. I shook and rattled the damn can, but I didn't fall over. His fingers rubbed my asshole and played with my pussy lips till I couldn't take it anymore and I put my foot down and he got up.
His face was all wet and I told him he looked like he just stepped from the shower and he laughed and said he had.
We got to my place and he flopped in the couch, like Honky always did, with his legs spread. I've got three or four pictures of my baby-man in the room there, and this guy looks around and asks, "Who's the stud?"
Man that made me so proud! Who's the stud? That's my Honky-baby, that's who that is. I told him, "That's my man, but he's in the pigpen. And I miss his nice fat cock."
"He's got a big one?" the guy asked.
"Big? Big? Honey, it's the biggest thing you ever put your little eyes on! Here, I'll show you," I said, looking in a drawer for the naked picture of Honky. I found it easily and showed it to him. The photo shows him sitting right there on the couch with his hard dick in his hand. Come is pouring from the tip of it, and every time I look at it I go outta my head! That's real soul, that picture. And the guy really dug it too. He said Honky sure looked like he knew what he was doing.
"Let's see what you're gonna be doing," I said as I put a record on. I lit a joint just as he pulled his jeans down off his body. He was a bit smaller than my baby-man, but it was a nice cock, well-formed. I know he figured he was gonna have some nice black pussy to stick it into, but I had other ideas for him. We smoked the grass, and then he started talking about positions to fuck in.
"I don't wanna fuck, honey, I just wanna put your nice white dick in my nice soft black mouth and suck the living shitfuck out of you."
His eyes opened wide and I sat there smiling. I began removing my clothing and he watched, playing with his penis. It got longer and harder, and when I was naked on front of him I reached out and took it in my hand.
"I'll bet you give a nice blow job," he said as I moved my lips closer to his cock.
"Babycakes, I invented it!" I told him with a giggle. I was going nuts already and my titties were hard as rocks. I glanced over the picture of Honky and naked, wet cock, and my excitement reached its peak. I took that white dick in my lips and started giving it a suck job it would never forget.
After a few easy strokes to get him loosened up, I really let it slam down my throat. He grabbed my shoulders and dug his hands into me. Then I pulled back and nibbled around the reddish tip for a minute, and then rammed it down my throat again. He let go and let his head flop back.
"Oh, wow, don't stop! This is the best I've ever had… Jesus Christ Almighty!"
I bit down under the glans a little and scraped my teeth along the shaft. Then I moved my head faster and faster till he was writhing and panting and I could tell he was getting close. I pulled off and smashed my head down to his nuts and licked them and pulled them into my mouth.
"Oh, far out, far out!" he said again and again. The grass had made him all mellow inside, but he was hard as a rock in my lips and I was glad. I could taste premature drops of come every now and then, and as soon as I went back up to his cock, a big round pearly drop awaited me. Man, I knew he was going to be a big load. And it was going to come soon, very soon. Again, I thought of my baby-man and pretended this white guy was actually him. He was gonna come, fucking my face with his big black dick, shooting his juice inside me. I wanted it to happen fast, and I stuffed my hand into my vagina just as his cock swelled for the last time.
"I'm gonna shoot! I'm gonna fucking shoot in your black mouth!" He yelled and smashed his hips upward and then collapsed – and, with his collapse, it happened. My mouth was filled with a powerful gush of white cream, hotter than hell. My lips were glued around his cock so none of it would escape and I swallowed the entire load. His balls finally rested silently in his sac and I knew it was over. I held his cock with one hand as I let it slide out of my lips and I looked at it and licked it as it softened before me. It was then I came back to earth. The cock was white and the guy was white. I had been dreaming about my Honky. And suddenly I hated this guy and told him to leave.
He got really upset cause he thought he was gonna get a fuck in too, but I told him to get his ass out. He called me a black spade cocksucker and I hit him with a real heavy whitey rap until he finally stumbled out the door.
I sat down on the floor, listening to Aretha again, and began to cry. I needed something to get me up, to get me going. I needed Honky's cock, but I couldn't have it. I couldn't let anyone fuck me. And I didn't want any black dick but my baby-man's. And wow, I wanted to die. What a, bummer!
Then there was this rap on the door and before I could get up to see who it was, this guy steps in. It was Rick, the same cat who pulled out his cock on the street earlier.
"Frieda, you do that white boy real nice? His stuff taste as good as nigger stuff?"
"You get your ass outta here, little boy. This here's Honky's place and he don't want you in it."
"Fuck Honky! He's up there where he can't do anything to change what is, and I'm standing here telling you what's happening, that's what is! And I'm also telling you you better get ready because you gonna give me what you just gave that white boy, you hear?"
I started shaking. There was something in my head. I don't know what it was, that was stopping me from having sex with any black guy but Honky. I was afraid of any black dick but his, that's why I had been going after white boys. And here was this cat, Rick, standing there across the room from me, taking off his pants. I could see his cock swinging between his dark legs and I started crying something terrible. I knew he was gonna make me suck him, and I knew I had to obey. But I wanted my baby-man and I couldn't help crying.
He walked across the room and stuck it right into my face. It wasn't even hard yet, but it sure was big. He brushed it against my cheeks and the tears made it wet. I loved it – loved its smell, its size, its blackness – but I felt guilty, cheating. It wasn't my Honky's black dick!
"Suck me, sister. Get it hard just like you did with Honky, you little slut bitch." He grabbed my hair and pulled it and then kicked me. He knelt down and pushed his loins into my face. I took his cock in my mouth. Looking up at his face terrified me.
I looked down and started sucking. It began to get hard, as it did, more and more of it out of my mouth – it was very long and slender. He shouted at me and pulled my hair until I stopped crying and really got into giving him a good blow job.
"I always heard you were the best," he said, obviously feeling that way himself. He started fucking my mouth and playing with my titties at the same time.
He tweaked my nipples till they hurt and told me to suck harder. I was doing the best I could, and then he told me he wanted my finger up his asshole. I found the opening and it slid up there easily – I thought if Honky were home he'd probably be wanting his dick up there instead of my finger and I shoved it in and out, finger-fucking him as I bounced on his long black cock.
I kept the rhythm going, pushing and pulling, and he was carrying on like a Goddamn dog in heat. I thought he was never gonna come! I sucked the end of his cock around the shaft, dragging it in and out shoving that finger up his hot asshole, playing with his hairy balls. He held my tits and played with them as he watched my head frantically bouncing in front of him.
"I'm gonna fill you up, Frieda, you suck-queen!" he shouted, starting to ram his cock in double-time. I didn't move my head any longer – I just let him fuck my face. His cock tasted good and sweet now, and my finger slid in and out of his dark asshole with ease.
"Fuck me harder, shove that finger up there, bitch," he said, which really turned me on. I let him smash that nigger cock down my throat again and again, and I matched each stroke with my finger and finally shoved two of them up there as far as I could get them. Tears came to my eyes again because I was afraid I wasn't going to last. I was on my last bit of energy and strength. I knew I needed a fix. And I also knew I needed his jism.
It happened slowly – almost painfully – and I could hardly believe it! I mean, fuck, man, this was incredible! He started yelling and changed to longer, more even strokes. Come started spilling outta his cock, but it came in long beautiful spurts which shook him somewhere inside. I kept my fingers up his asshole and felt every tightening of the muscles each time another spurt flowed into my hungry mouth. He came and came and came, and I took it all and gave him the orgasm of his life. Finally I had to pull away. I moved my mouth off his cock and pulled my fingers out of his ass at the same moment. And then I fell back to the floor.
"OK, stud man, you know where I can get some shit!"
He looked down at me, holding his softening cock in his hand. "Baby, you on that stuff?"
"No, I just need some to forget eating that little dick of yours," I said, mocking him. He slapped me across the mouth and suddenly I hated him more than ever.
"You ain't gonna find no shit around here, honey. This place is clean! Go get some from your stud boy in the pen!"
"Fuck off," I said, and turned over on the floor. He bent down and patted my ass and then I heard him putting on his pants, and in a minute he was gone. I lay there on the floor a long time and then I called this pusher I know and I went and got me some stuff.
Last night I went to the movie – you know, the cheap one for forty-nine cents – and I was sitting in the back row when these two teenager's come up the aisle. I had one leg out in the aisle and they could see my pussy open there under my skirt. They stopped and lingered on a bit, and I moved over one seat. I was so wrecked I didn't even know what the movie was about. In a minute they were sitting on either side of me, playing with my pussy. They both put their fingers up my dress at the same time and I was going crazy. Honey, my pussy was squirting all over their hands. Then one started sucking my left tit through my blouse and the other did the same, and I grabbed their hard cocks in their pants. Then I told them to take them out.
They obeyed and pulled their pants down to their ankles. They leaned back in their seats and I reached out and began playing with both their big cocks at the same time, moving the skin up and down. I couldn't stand it any more – I had to taste them. So I bent over and sucked on one, still holding onto the other, and then did the opposite. I took turns, sucking one till it was just ready to shoot, and then going to the other one. Those boys were going out of their ever – loving minds – and I'll bet anything they never had a black chick before.
Finally, I had to have it. I let the one on my right come first, and he muffled his groans as his body rose and fell as he pumped his young come into my mouth. The other guy was going nuts watching, and as soon as my lips hit his cock he came too, shooting semen all over my face and his pubic hair. I licked it all into my mouth and finally sat back and relaxed. They played with my pussy some more guys and hate till their cocks softened then they pulled up their pants. They asked if they could see me again and I told them to go home to their parents.
You see, I can't relate to anyone. I hate white guys and hate doing it to them, but I'm compelled to it. I don't know why. I'm afraid of black studs and I don't know how to come on with them. I think it's all this shit I'm shooting, but man, I gotta do something! You know? My Honky, he don't write anymore, and he's gonna be there a long-long time, they tell me, so what am I gonna do? I know I gotta get it together, but how?
All I know is I gotta have some more white dick. I gotta be the black chick kneeling in front of a white man, sucking on his thing, swallowing his load. I gotta feel powerless, gotta feel dominated. Till he comes. Then I'm on top, then I'm the fucking queen! Then I can tell the motherfucker to get lost when he says he wants to screw me! I'm a good suck, baby, but that's all I do. Only one man's gonna get my pussy, and he's in jail, and I'm gonna save it for him when he gets out.
"But I wish someone would help me, 'cause I'm worried…"
We find a clue to Frieda's illness when she tells us that she "enjoys living out fantasies…" The normal individual has learned, in his development, to repress and sublimate his component sexual instincts. These sexual desires give him the energy which he uses in the construction of civilization.
The pervert is the negative to this normal evolution; he cannot renounce his former pleasures, and in this way is unable to adjust to culture, no matter what ethnic group he or she is from. All cultures demand infantile renunciation in favor of the group and its preservation. This is a demand which Frieda is unable to meet.
Frieda is locked into a sterile and unsatisfying existence, utterly denying her femininity, her reproductive function, her genital pleasure outside of masturbation, and of most importance, the feeling of loving another human being.