Talk about Sophie Portnoy! Man, I have a mother you wouldn't believe. Every chick I met, every chick I look at, every chick I dream about is a threat to dear ol' Mom. Don't get me wrong: I love her. But I wish to hell she hadn't hung on so long. I'm rid of her now – I'm moving out on my own next week – but it's been one hell of a trip, believe me.
"So who's this girl you're bringing home?" she asked way back before my first date in high school. Already then she was afraid I'd get a chick pregnant and I'd shame her and her ancestors forever. She should only know – she should only know! – that I don't even like fucking girls! Oral sex is my bag and Mother is responsible for that too.
Let me go back to the beginning. One day, when I was about twelve and just starting to realize my cock was growing and there was such a thing called sex I came home from school early with a sore throat. Dad ran a string of furniture showrooms and warehouses, and you never knew when he was going to be home. Already then he was losing his looks – he worked himself to the bone – and Mother never really had any. She's always been overweight, not what you'd call pretty, but not homely either, with her hair propped up with the help of ten cans of spray. I had never even pictured the two of them kissing, much less making love. I entered the house quietly and heard noises coming from the living room. I crept up behind the big planter and looked down into the sunken – Beverly Hills, mind you, posh sunken living room – area and immediately froze.
Mother was on the top-riding him, in a stooping position. Dad's long slender cock stood straight up from his balls and she bounced on it and I was amazed to see it disappear up her, and then slide out again and again. The rolls of fat on her stomach jiggled and her massive breasts heaved with each movement. Dad wasn't saying a word, just moaning a sick sound. Mom was shouting all kinds of shit, like. "FUCK THE JUICE OUT OF ME!" and "HAROLD, HAROLD, YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG PRICK!" (which he didn't, actually), and I was so sick I wanted to puke.
I watched for about five minutes until I could take no more. It was the most obscene sight, the most horrifying thing I had ever seen in my entire lifetime. I ran out into the yard and became sick and vomited right next to Dad's Cadillac. All sorts of things raced through my mind – was that how I was conceived? Was that what intercourse was all about? It was ugly and awful – Dad's helpless cock being used by her big hairy cunt – and I wanted to erase it from my mind, to blot it out.
Just a week before, Mother had sent me to my room without supper for saying "fuck" for the first time. And look what they were doing on that floor? I should have sent them to the gas chamber for that. Jesus, something like that can fuck up a little kid's head!
And it did, it did. Till this very day, although it's not a great problem now. I'm twenty-two and I've never fucked a chick in my life. I've never even tried; I have no desire ever to do so. The idea repulses me, it sickens me, and I lose an erection if the thought crosses my mind or if a girl mentions it. Many times I've fucked up the evening because I wouldn't fuck. It's very simple… and yet so complicated, somehow.
You see, after that day when I saw my parents going at it on the living room floor, I had a perverse desire to watch it again – maybe I wanted to hate them and this was giving me a reason, I don't know – and I did. I snuck around and pretended to be asleep nights, peeked in their window, told lies, hid, crept, anything to watch them fuck. And that's all they did, no foreplay – oh, Dad stuck his fingers up her twat a few times and sucked her big nipples, but nothing more than that – just straight fucking, in various positions. More often than not, Dad was on the bottom and I hated my mother for that because I felt she was ruling him, when he should have been the strong one on top!
Anyhow, I watched each time – and began to realize that, after I had witnessed the scene, I would be sexually excited! I would go to my room or to the bathroom, lock the door, and masturbate. No, none of the Portnoy stuff with the liver or my sister's underpants. I had three favorite pictures – bought them from a kid at school for ten bucks – and I looked at them each time I beat off. One was of a beautiful blond girl sucking on a big Negro dick! All it showed was this guy's big fat cock and his hands on his hips, and a beautiful movie star type sucking on it. I don't know why, but it really turned me on.
The second picture was one of a man and woman, both very good-looking, in a sixty-nine position. And the third was of two couples – a girl was sucking on a guy's cock, while the other girl was sucking his asshole – and beneath the girl working on the asshole was the other guy, his face stuffed into her pussy. They were exciting – oral, different sex than the stuff I always saw with my parents – and for me those pictures, those acts, were normal and beautiful. Fucking was dirty, ugly. Oral sex was clean and right. And I still feel that way.
I had a rough time for a few years. All the guys I knew inevitably told me two things: how great it was to fuck a girl and what a big cock I had. The first I wasn't so sure about, the second I was positive. I had a huge cock then, and I have one now. I don't know why, I guess it just grew that way – God knows, Dad's isn't that big. I love my cock and I'm proud of it and I love having it sucked. But putting it in a cunt, hell no.
It finally got to a point in high school where I had to pretend I had a girl friend – I did, but she was an uptight Catholic virgin, and wow, you should have heard my mother about that one! I was only fifteen and she was worried I was balling this Catholic chick and we were going to make a baby and have to raise it Catholic! I did pretend I was fucking her, especially to the boys in the locker room at school. They were very proud of me, and always envious of my dick.
Finally, one day, the pleasure of the pictures began to wear off and I was wanting the real thing. Where do I find a girl who'll suck me off, but not make me fuck her? Hollywood? Maybe the Ranch Market? There were always some sleazy types around there. The beach? I didn't know what the hell to do. And then, like a great matzo from the sky, she descended upon me…
Her name was Madeline, and she was a cousin to a cousin to a cousin – you know that crap – of the woman next door, a woman who was a lot like Mother. So I was out by the pool one sunny afternoon and I saw this nice looking girl looking at me through the palm leaves. She smiled, and I smiled back and moved my knees up – afraid to show her the fact that I had an erection. I was lying there on the chaise lounge thinking of getting sucked off under water – I had some wild fantasies!
"Hi, you must be Carey!" she called.
"Yeah, who are you?" I asked…
"Madeline."
I won't bore you with the conversation that took place immediately after that, and how I got her to come over and have some lemonade with me and how we started talking about sex and – this sounds like The Graduate, doesn't it? Anyhow, we decided to swim because I was so sexually excited I knew I needed the water to cool me before I ripped open my trunks. And I think she was getting all warm between the legs already then too.
In the water, I asked her where she worked, since she said she worked in an office – she was just out of high school. Her reply, well, I wasn't ready for it. "I work at J amp;M Blowers!" she called from the other end of the pool. Then she laughed.
I laughed too and my cock charged up. J amp;M Blowers! I wondered if she were making it up. I didn't care, she had said it and the ice was broken. That damn pool was steaming now and I swam to her and stood there, in the shallow end, water to our waists, next to her.
"That's a funny name," I said with a grin.
"Depends on how you look at it," she added, and swam off again.
I watched her as she dove under the water near the diving board… and came up without her bikini top. Her breasts floated in the blue water, and I saw the darkness of her nipples bobbing at the surface. Then she pulled the bottom off, too, under the water and tossed it up onto the cement. She swam, moving and twisting and splashing – I caught glimpses of her cunt, the dark hairs there, her smooth ass. I was ready to come! A naked girl was right there, swimming in my pool! After all the figuring I had done on where to get a girl, after deciding I was going to go out and pay a whore, after shaking with fear and trembling with apprehensiveness, it was all happening too fast and easy for comfort.
I took off my trunks and swam past her, and then sat on the edge of the pool with my feet in the water. I spread my legs and let my balls drop down to the hot cement. My cock was like a rock and stood straight up against my belly. She stared with her mouth open – it was a lot bigger than she had ever expected.
And then all hell broke loose. She almost cracked her head into the side of the pool, she swam so fast up to the spot between my legs! Her lips were fitted over my balls in a second, and I looked down to the sparkling water and honestly couldn't believe it. I grabbed my cock and started beating it, like usual, but had to stop – I was ready to shoot! I had to hold myself back.
She sucked more on my balls, and then finally grabbed my cock with her hands and fitted her lips over it. She kicked her feet in the water and plunged her face down as far as she could go on the shaft. Then her tongue swept over the tip, and she moved her face back and forth… and I shivered and flooded her mouth with the biggest load of sperm I've ever shot! She choked on it and it poured out of her mouth and dripped over my balls. She loved it, and licked and licked, till she got every drop into her lips.
We traded places. I spread her legs with my hands and watched as her fingers eased the lips of her pussy apart and exposed the moist pink softness of the inner lips to me. I kissed them, then licked them with my tongue, and finally pushed my face against her entire crotch, tasting the juice and the chlorine mixed together, loving it. My cock was hard again and I put my hand on it under the water as I learned how to suck a pussy.
I found her clit, without knowing that was what I found, and she went into absolute contortions. She fell back against the cement and spread her legs even further. Then she shouted for me never to stop, and my mouth seemed at once wetter and sweeter. She came easily, again without me really understanding what was happening.
We rested and floated around the pool a bit, but we were both still very excited. Suddenly, Madeline told me she had to pee. I looked at her quite funny, I guess, because she knew where the bathroom was it was marked clearly, next to the ladies' dressing room – and I felt a bit embarrassed.
"It's right over there," I said, pointing. She just stared at me.
"You can use the one in the house if you like," I added, wondering why she was looking at me so funny.
"I should pee in your pool," she said in a happy tone of voice.
I was sure she was kidding, so I came out with this line. I had heard or read somewhere: "Please don't pee in our pool, we don't swim in your toilet."
She didn't react. Instead, she climbed out of the pool, bare naked in the afternoon sunlight, and walked to the end of the diving board. I was almost directly under it, wondering what the hell she was going to do.
She knelt down, stooping, spreading her legs. For a moment I thought she was going to spring up with all her might and dive! But she leaned back and braced herself with her hand on the board, thrusting her hips into the air a bit. Then she flexed her muscles and – I couldn't believe it – her pussy lips parted slightly to release a long golden stream of urine. It arched over the edge of the board and hit the blue pool like a waterfall. I was only inches from where it hit and I was in shock, amazed, utterly astounded and excited. I want to touch it – maybe even taste it – but I didn't dare, I couldn't move. I was frozen – like a shocked virgin!
When she finished she stood up and said, "There I peed in your pool."
I looked up at her. "Remind me to swim in your toilet."
We both laughed. "Hey, Carey, do me a favor."
"What?"
"Trade places with me and do it, standing up."
I didn't knew what she meant, so I thought she wanted me to do what she had done, to pee from the diving board. "Madeline, I don't have to take a piss – my cock's hard. I don't think I could."
"No, I want you to come, to shoot out into the water, onto me."
I made for the board so fast, you wouldn't have believed it. She dove into the water and floated on her back as she looked up and watched me pumping my huge cock over her. I held my balls in one hand and my cock in the other and the situation excited me even more than her sucking had. I wanted to see my come fly out of my cock and splash into the water!
"Let it gush out, Carey! Come on, honey, make that fat prick explode!" She splashed around, with one hand stuffed up her pussy.
I spread my legs as much as I could without falling into the water. I knew I was close, and I started to tremble – the board bounced a little – and called out her name, letting her know I was about to do it…
Then it hit. I pumped my cock hard as the come shot out of me in giant spurts and landed in the water and all over her body. It must have been some sight from below – just as seeing her peeing from above had been for me – and I knew she loved it. She screamed in delight, and as soon as I had come my last drops, I jumped into the water, still clasping my balls and penis, and found her and hugged her. Man, it was almost out of Esther Williams. I was in love!
Madeline and I saw a lot of each other, without our parents knowing most of the times. It was so convenient, so easy – leap the fence and we were together. And my mom was gone most of the day – beauty parlor, Mah-Jongg, window shopping – and Madeline's cousin of a cousin, etc., or whoever it was she and her parents lived with, were always out also. So it was easy.
We experimented in all kinds of oral sex. I'll never forget the first time she put her lips on my asshole. I was flat on the chaise in the sun, and she just spread my cheeks with her hands and put her tongue between them. She kissed me there and drove her tongue inside the clenched little hole. Finally, I bent over, and she was actually able to stick her tongue up me. I was in heaven, and came with only two strokes of my hand.
Then I learned to finger-fuck her asshole while I was sucking on her pussy, or just the opposite. Sometimes I'd stick my finger up her ass and lick her as I did it, which applied saliva and made it work easier. We tried just about everything and anything – I peed from the edge of the pool and she took most of it in her mouth, she peed into my mouth and let it dribble all over my face, I let her suck me under water, and we did it there in a sixty-nine position till we had to come up for air. We floated on an air mattress, kissing and masturbating each other, and then finally into a sixty-nine as we came at the same moment. This went on all summer, just about every day. I was never in better spirits.
Then one day, Mother was talking to the people next door and they said, "Isn't it nice that Madeline and Carey are getting along so well?" Sure it was! So from that moment on, Mother guarded us. She arranged for the maid to come in in the afternoons instead of the mornings. She spent more time at home. She found errands for me, things for me to do. She made life miserable.
I found myself sneaking out at night "for an ice cream cone", or "I'm going for a drive, just want to be alone", and almost always they would find out it was a lie. I'd meet Madeline – who had to go through the same shit in her house – and we'd do it in the bushes at the far end of her house if we were in a hurry, or we'd do it in my car on a deserted street if we had time.
I remember those days – man, how exciting! We'd drive along Beverly Drive till we'd find a dark spot and we'd pull into a driveway – always made sure we picked a house with the lights off – and park there. That way the police – and in Beverly Hills they're incredible; they patrol every damn ten minutes! – wouldn't question the car parked on the street so late.
Madeline would lift her skirt and I'd sink my head into her lap. My tongue was expert now, pushing her hairycunt lips apart, sliding way up her vagina. She ran her fingers through my hair and undulated her hips, moving them back and forth as I tongue-fucked her silly!
Then I'd pull my cock out – I never wore underpants when we went out – and put my legs over hers. She'd bend down and take the head in her lips – she always started like that, slowly, working steadily toward a smash finish! She would hold the glans in her lips, driving me crazy with her tongue, opening the slit, rubbing around the hard ridge. Then her lips would descend the length, slowly, carefully, making it wet and tingling with excitement.
Finally she'd just suck, giving me the best blow jobs in the world. She banged her head up and down on my dick as I moaned and sighed and begged her to keep sucking. She never let me down. I always ended with a tremendous orgasm which filled her mouth to the hilt.
Once – I just remembered this – I had a good hard on and I had to piss but I was too excited from all the sucking we had been doing, that I was, at the same time, on the brink of orgasm. All of a sudden, as I was trying to make some urine fan from cock since she was begging me for it, I came sensation was strange because it happened together – urine was coming out of my cock, and so was come. I was feeling myself pissing and coming at the same moment, and the semen mixed with the piss to become very watery. Madeline went nutty, lapped it all up and told me I was some kind of genius.
But Mother hated her, and at the end of the summer when Madeline went off to school, Mother was happy again. She was worried, but more than that she was jealous. I had a beautiful body, and girls wanted it and she was jealous of that. I guess she wanted to be the only woman in my life – maybe even in my bed, although I don't think this was ever a conscious thought on her part.
One day I happened to be swimming nude because I was hoping Madeline was going to come over and I liked the feeling of the hot sun on my nuts and my ass and I was used to it already. I was splashing around in the water when I happened to look up at the sliding glass patio door. Mother was standing in the family room, staring at me. I wondered how long she had been there. I waved, trying to act very natural about it – after all she was my mother! She had seen my cock more than anyone in the world! But it was different now, it was big, bigger than her husband's, perhaps bigger than any man's that she had ever seen, and I think it startled her and gave her a feeling of what she may have missed in life.
After that day I never again went naked in front of her, but often, when I had my swimming trunks on or walked through the house in my undershorts, she would take a good hard glance at my full crotch.
"I told you my mother was fucked up! She was possessive and jealous, clawing at me, wanting to hold onto me and be my mother and lover at the same time. I needed a girl friend, and I was determined to find one. Instead, it almost was the end of me!"
Carey comes from a middle-class Jewish family. He is an only child, and like so many other only children, he is dominated and smothered by his mother's love.
It has been said that such overprotection and excess of maternal fear over the child's well-being is a uniquely Jewish characteristic. However, in reality, it is a universal trait of normal motherhood. Originally, there is a unity between mother and child. It is a sort of carry-over from the prenatal situation and represents one of the two greatest tasks for the mother. Roheim calls this early mother-child relationship the "dual-unity situation". The second great task of motherhood is to dissolve the dual-unity situation harmoniously. It is true that when the umbilical cord is cut, there occurs a sort of reorganization of the bodily functions in both mother and child. Physically, the direct phase of the mutual interdependence between mother and child is ended with the birth of the child and the expulsion of the placenta from the mother's body. With the advent of the resultant new dependency relationship, however, comes a very strong maternal-filial tie between mother and child on the emotional level. Helene Deutsch describes this as a "psychic umbilical cord".
In his New Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis, Freud also recognizes this unique unity between mother and child. He has this to say about it:
The only thing that brings a mother undiluted satisfaction is her relation to a son; it is quite the most complete relationship between human beings and the one that is the most free of ambivalence.
However, prolonged continuation of this situation will lead to maternal overprotection. This overprotecttiveness is in the last analysis, a defense mechanism on the part of the mother to avoid separation. This defense springs from a deep-rooted fear of loss.
Carey's whole life pattern is witness to the strong overprotection exerted by his mother. Normally, the father adds an element into the mother-child unity situation which discourages it from becoming overly prolonged and excessive. Unfortunately for Carey, his father is a very weak man, and quite passive in his role as head of the household, at least with respect to Carey. He is almost the stereotype of the middle-class American man which has contributed to – or is the result of – the development of the United States as a matriarchy.
Typically, we would expect Carey's bisexual nature to be accentuated. Freud, in his analysis of Leonardo da Vinci, points out:
In all our male homosexual cases, the subjects had a very intense erotic attachment to a female person, as a rule their mother… this attachment was evoked or encouraged by too much tenderness on the part of the mother herself, and further reinforced by the small part played by the father during their childhood.
The individual becomes homosexual because a phylogenetic fear of incest makes him identify with his mother in order to diminish her role as his love-object. Thus he would develop feminine characteristics in relation to his sexual objects, seeking for a love relationship, someone like himself (as his mother has) in whose likeness he chooses the new object of his love.
This would have definitely happened to Carey, had he ever reached the genital level of development. He has, however, an even stronger identification with his mother than would the homosexual. Carey is fixated at the oral level of development. He uses, as his method of defense against his desire for his mother, introjection, and has incorporated his mother's personality as his own. It was as though Carey's father had no effect upon Carey at all. Before the incest inhibition even developed in him, Carey had incorporated his mother's personality, as he did her milk. The mother he sees, however, is one who denies him her breast and castrates his father as well. Thus Carey hates both his mother and father, and the result is that he is incapable of having an affectionate relationship. Love does not mean anything to him.
Carey observed his parents having intercourse. This is an almost universal occurrence – if a child doesn't actually see his parents engaged in intercourse, he will fantasize the situation (which is termed the "primal scene"). The primal scene evokes envy of the father for his role with the mother, in the case of the male child, and sexual excitation as well. Carey became sexually excited at this viewing, but was also disgusted in the extreme, interpreting the union as a sadistic encounter. No doubt this was because his mother was assaulting his father, again underscoring his father's passivity. This interpretation of sex by Carey is rather unique, but emphasizes his understanding of the relationship between his mother and father.
Since Carey is incapable of real love – hating his mother and father as he does – and considers the sexual act to be disgusting and sadistic, he naturally has a negative opinion of people. All these characteristics considered, we would expect Carey to be a paranoid individual. And he certainly is.
When Carey's mother saw him swimming in the nude, she was sexually excited, or so Carey said. In reality, since Carey has already been classified as a paranoid type, this sexual excitation was most probably his own, "projected" onto his mother.
Carey's sexual life has thus developed into an identification with his aggressive-sadistic mother whom he imitates when he indulges in sex. His mother was in his eyes, a castrater, hence Carey, who is fixated at the cannibalistic oral level of sexual development, seeks to "castrate" his partners as well. He chooses to engage in sex with women because, firstly, it represents revenge against his mother, whom he can delude himself into thinking he is castrating, and secondly, it provides an opportunity to overcome his intense fear that his mother will castrate him. In this way he is maintaining a semblance of heterosexuality, fixated at the oral level.
In the development of Carey's character, we see a sadistic youth, incapable of manifesting love. Without a father to identify with in a social sense, we can easily anticipate that Carey will become a social pervert, unable to get along in the world…
High school ended and it was time to think about going to college. My first impulse was to go to a school as far away as China, just to get away from my mother. But as I thought about it, the prospect seemed more and more ridiculous – I mean going to college, not China. I had never been the brightest kid in school, which means. I had to work for my grades, and when faced with never having to sit in a classroom again or to begin another four-year stretch, it was an easy choice.
Although every single person I knew was going on to college, I didn't. My parents were ashamed, or so they said. Hell, it was exactly the opposite – Dad had someone to get into the business with him, and Mother had her darling little boy at her side.
I worked for Dad – the job was almost too easy – and spent a lot of time doing photography, which has always been my hobby. It was right after high school graduation that I started taking girlie shots of the chicks I met.
I also work on the chicks, of course, and they work on me. I have a little studio set up in our garage, which is very private. I like outdoor shots, however, and when my parents are gone, I take photos out by the pool. I have, a friend, Jerry, who has a big cock and a great bod, and often we photograph each other with various chicks we pick up on the Strip.
We like to take good close-ups of sucking, where you can see the come dripping down the girl's chin or the wetness all over the guy's face from the cunt juice. That really turns me on, and I know it turns on the people I show the photos to. I try specialty photos, like a whole reel of the chick undressing, masturbating, and then bathing. Or a reel of one of us and a girl, doing nothing but sixty-nine. Or, for instance, a "Golden Shower" reel where the guy and girl do nothing but urinate on each other in various ways.
But in the middle of this, about two months ago, in walked this chick named Rhoda. She was standing on the corner of La Peer and Santa Monica, hitching a ride. I pulled over – transfixed by the sight of her great legs under the hot pants. She got in, looked into my eyes, and it was all over! We were gone on each other and we made a date for the next evening.
I was expecting to get a good few hours of sex in, but it didn't happen. We were falling in love, I think, although we didn't know it. Suddenly, getting to know each other was the most important thing, and although we were hot for each other, it would have to wait. I went home that first night and beat off four damn times, just thinking what it would be like to eat her!
Finally, after we felt at ease with each other, I invited her to the house, knowing my parents were going out. I picked her up and we drove to Taco Bell for something to eat, and then went up to the house. Dad's car was in the drive, and I shuddered. "Damn!"
"What is it?" she asked.
"They're still home."
"Oh, your mother…"
I had told her about Mother. "Well, Rhoda, let's face the firing squad. After all, they have to meet you sometime!"
We got out of my car and entered the house. My mother decided to change wigs, thus the delay. Dad was furious, and I don't know if he even realized I had introduced him to Rhoda. He grumbled and walked outside to wait in the car.
Mother came down the steps and stopped halfway down; glaring at the girl who was holding my hand. "Carey, darling, who is this?" she asked, sounding a little like Bette Davis.
"Rhoda, Mother," I said, as she came down to our level. She didn't offer her hand, didn't even smile. She just looked her over and said, "Charmed."
Then she left, pointing out that they would be home early and reminding me I had to be at work at six in the morning, for inventory or some such silly thing. Dad was blowing the car horn and it was just killing her that she had to leave me alone in the house with Rhoda, whom she thought to be a tramp from the first glance. She thought all the girls I knew were tramps – no one was good enough for her precious son.
Rhoda and I took a swim – she used one of the suits we kept handy for guests – and thoughts of that first afternoon with Madeline came rushing into my head. I wanted to see Rhoda naked, wanted to touch her and kiss her and run my tongue all over her body, but I still held back, waiting till she let me know she wanted it.
After the swim, we walked around the house and yard, and I showed everything to her. Then we got to the darkroom, and she wanted to see it. I told her it was locked and no one ever went in there.
"Why's it so secret?" she asked. "It's only a hobby."
"Well, you see, I do a lot of skin shots and I don't think you'd like to see that."
"You're kidding!"
"Not at all."
She paused for a moment and then surprised me. "I'd really love to see it! I've never known a skin photographer before in my life!"
She was really excited, almost proud of the fact. As I opened the lock, she told me her brother always kept girlie pictures and magazines around the house and she'd find them in their hiding places and look at them and get excited. Women get turned on too, you know, even by photos!
Burt Reynolds, in Cosmopolitan, flashed through my mind…
I opened the door and turned on the bright overhead light. The room carne into view – stacks of prints, developing chemicals, enlargers, all the shit one needed to be a girlie photog, Rhoda looked around, grabbing picture after picture, staring at them as if they were really blowing her mind – and maybe they were.
She asked me about many things – Who is this? Who is he? What are they doing? – and finally stopped dead when she pulled a picture from the bottom of the stack near the fixer. I didn't know what it was, and she wouldn't show me. Her face was red…
Finally, I pulled the picture from her grasp, and turned red myself. It was a picture Jerry had taken of me, standing in the yard with my zipper open, cock sticking out hands on hips, looking down at the chick who was approaching me on all fours. Man, it was a great photo – especially because of my being completely dressed with just my dick sticking out and it had been one of my favorites, but I'd had no idea of showing it to Rhoda! I didn't know what the hell to say.
"Wow, it's – big," she said, putting the photo down on the counter.
"Yeah, well you see… I didn't…" I didn't know what to say.
"Shhh," she said, placing her hand on my lips, rubbing her fingers over my mouth, "I think it's time we let our feelings show."
She stepped toward me and put her arms around my shoulders. I held her tight and we kissed passionately, wildly moving our tongues in and out of each other's mouths. My cock began to rise against her naked thighs, and my swimming trunks were filled to the point of ripping.
She pulled her head back and kissed my neck and went down to my hairy chest and licked there. Then she fell to her knees on the darkroom floor and held my buttocks in her hands and pressed her cheeks to my bulging crotch. I placed my hands on her hair and moaned. I couldn't believe it was happening – everything I had dreamed about.
She placed her lips over the tip of my cock and breathed warm air through the material. It almost made me faint in excitement. I thought I was gonna come right then. I started pushing my trunks down over my ass and finally she lifted her face and helped. My cock was released from the tight elastic band and stood out proudly in front of me.
"It's bigger than in the picture," Rhoda said, as she stared at it with love in her eyes. Then she put her hand around it and kissed it gently on the tip as I wriggled the trunks down my body to my feet. I stepped out of them and kicked them aside. I was completely naked, and ready for her loving hot mouth.
I watched as she moved her lips close and opened them. Her teeth sparkled, and there was a smile on her face as the head of my cock disappeared into her mouth. She damped her lips around the shaft and pressed in with her tongue and teeth and cheeks to completely encase it in warm flesh. I shuddered and flexed my muscles and it jumped in her mouth.
Then she pulled her head back and started slow movements, up and down the length of it, sometimes biting just a little with her teeth, which sent shivers down my legs. I spread my feet and let her caress my balls as all sensation rose to the tip of my penis.
"Oh Rhoda, I don't believe this! I don't believe it – don't stop, don't stop!" I practically ordered her! I was in another world and never wanted to leave it. She sucked my cock with such passion and love that it was almost a new experience for me. It was so much more than just sex. I was on Cloud Nine.
Then she let it fall from her lips and started kissing around it, in the thick black hair just above it, and down next to my balls where the hair was also very thick and dark. I spread my legs farther and farther as her tongue swirled under my nuts. They shook and moved under her tongue caresses, and each time she went farther, nearing my asshole. I grabbed my balls and held them up, hoping she would get the message and go to my asshole! She licked at the hard spot between my balls and my ass, and slowly let her tongue wander near the hole.
"Turn around," she said suddenly.
I turned around and let my balls drop. I spread my legs and felt her breathing on my asshole. I bent over just slightly and she put both hands on my buttocks and spread them. Then she kissed them and moved her face slowly to the center, to the dark hot opening that so desired her lips.
"Please, Rhoda, please…" I couldn't stand it, I had to have her mouth on my asshole!
All of a sudden she slammed her lips to my anal opening and pressed ahead with her tongue. I shouted in pleasure and bent even more, forcing the lips of my anus to part and admit the tip of her tongue. Then she released her hands on my buttocks and started lashing at the place with her tongue, sending the tip into my canal with each stroke.
She brought her hands under my balls, and one grabbed them while the other found my hard cock and began pounding on it. I knew I was going to come; there was no stopping it. I couldn't wait for her mouth, this was too exciting. Her tongue was doing things to my asshole and to my mind I never dreamed possible. I couldn't give up the moment without an orgasm…
I shot halfway across the room! Honestly, I wouldn't kid you! She pumped my hard dick till I thought it would break off. Her tongue fucked my asshole like no tongue ever had. I was insane with passion.
Finally, when she pulled her face from my burning asshole, I stood up and felt her hand release my cock. It flopped against my balls with a wet, slapping sound. The life was gone from it and it pointed to the floor.
"Rhoda, come here," I said, turning around, offering her my hand. She stood up and we embraced. Her face was shining from the saliva and her hair was wet with perspiration. I held her tight – her body was shaking – and kissed her neck.
"I love you, Carey, that's why I wanted to do that – to make you happy."
"Man, Rhoda, did you ever make me happy. That was the greatest thrill of my life, believe me!"
I think she did. She looked into my eyes and gave me a big smile. I asked her if she cared to see my bedroom…
"I'd love to get rid of these clothes," – her swimming suit – "and join you in the altogether." She winked.
"I'd love that too," I said, leading her from the darkroom. "Come along." I didn't even bother to pick up my trunks. My cock flopped before me as we walked across the backyard, to the house.
We didn't say a word once we were in the bedroom. We were overcome with our new relationship and our love, and all I could think about was what it would be like eating her pussy and asshole. She took off her bikini as soon as we entered the room and fell back on the bed, naked before me for the first time. I looked down at her beautiful young body. Her cunt was covered by soft brown hair, her nipples were small and hard. She was exquisite – and I was excited.
I knelt between her legs and kissed her navel. She stirred and ran her fingers through my hair. "Oh, Carey, you're so wonderful," she whispered. There was only a small candle burning – I love candles and her body had a faint golden glow to it, as if she had been carved out of bronze. I looked at her in wonder and desire and moved my lips down to touch the top of her thatch of hair.
"Oh Carey, eat my pussy!" she called out, lifting her knees in the air.
"Rhoda, that's just what I'm going to do." And with those words I dropped my head to her cunt and kissed it. The taste was sweet, bittersweet, like nothing I had ever tasted. The lips were soft and moist and I parted them with my tongue, sliding up and down between them. I kissed and sucked on the hairs around the lips, and moved my tongue farther in, sliding up the canal, up the tunnel of love, tasting the honey that was waiting there for me.
I helped spread the lips with my fingers, and found her throbbing clitoris and flicked it with my fingers. Then I tongued it, and she shook violently on the bed.
"Carey, oh my God, Carey!"
I dug my teeth deeper into her pussy lips and sucked for all I was worth on her clit.
"Oh Carey, bite it, suck it! Yes! Yes!" She was throbbing with excitement and sexual energy now. She kicked her feet on the bed, bringing them up and slamming them down at my sides. I dug my face as far into her crotch as I could, finding it hard to breathe, loving every moment of it. Her pussy juice was a life giving substance to me: I had to lap it up, to lick it up, to drink it down. I wanted to drink every part of her, to take her saliva and her come and her piss, because I wanted to be part of her, to share her. Fucking never entered my mind. My mouth wag the: only thing I had with which to give her pleasure, as she had used hers on my cock and asshole.
I lifted her legs in the air and pushed them up over her shoulders to frame her head. I bent down and kissed her, and my cock rubbed against her asshole. I was hard as a rock again, and I was surprised to feel the marvelous sensation on the tip when I moved it over the anal opening. I knew I would be able to have another orgasm! I had been afraid that the climax in the darkroom was all for that day!
She held her feet over her head as I brought my head down to her cunt again, and her asshole, which was wide-spread before me. I licked her pussy and then moved down ever so slowly to her anus. I lightly tongued it, just enough to send a bolt of electricity through her body.
"Ahhhhhhhh! Yes, tongue my asshole! Stick your tongue up it! I love you! I love you!" I had never seen her like this, so alive, so excited. I was crazed with the realization of what I was doing to her and I only stuck my tongue out faster and harder than I normally would have. I wanted to do everything double, triple, to make everything more than it was. I wanted my tongue to slide all the way up her asshole and fuck her like a cock would.
I clamped my lips to the hard opening to her anal canal and shoved my tongue out. It was hard at first, but she relaxed the muscles enough to get the tip of my tongue up her.
"Make love to my asshole, suck it, fuck it with your tongue! Carey, I love you!" she screamed, so I loud I was sure the people next door could hear her! I bolted my tongue as deep into her asshole as I could and she cried and banged her head on the bed.
Then she let her feet drop, and shoved a few fingers up her pussy and masturbated as I licked her asshole again and again, each time just touching the bottom of her pussy lips. She was in ecstasy, and in a moment she was near her peak.
"I'm coming, Carey, I'm coming!"
I lapped harder and harder, waiting for it, waiting for her body to shake and rattle and then grow silent in pleasure.
"I want you to take it, honey! Get ready!" She jammed her hand in and out of her pussy as I still kept licking her asshole.
"NOW!" she screamed, grabbing my hair, forcing my face to her cunt. My tongue picked up where her fingers had left off and all of a sudden my face was warm and wet, taking a bath in her feminine fluids drowning in her love juices. I sucked and sucked and swirled my tongue over every inch of her cunt until she just gave up and let her body be wracked by sobs. She relaxed and I licked the wetness off her, pussy lips and lay my head on her thigh…
We stayed like that for about ten minutes, and then I moved up, into her arms, and we kissed and rolled around on my bed. Our passions were enflamed, once again and I started licking her tits and biting her nipples. She ran her hands over my body and slowly moved her head back down to my crotch: I did the same to her. We were in a sixty-nine position before we knew it.
I shot my tongue into her pussy and she took my hard cock in her mouth. Each time I bolted my tongue in and out of her crack, she moved down my shaft. Our fingers were playing in each other's assholes, lightly fucking each other there, which enflamed our passions even more. I felt my come building up again, and knew I was gonna shoot another good load down her beautiful young throat. My cock swelled in her mouth, just as her tiny clit hardened under my wet caresses. I held her tight and buried my head between her legs as my orgasm came, almost silently. It flowed from me in long agonizing gushes, filling her mouth to the spilling point.
It was then I sensed the presence of a third person in the room. You guessed it. Mother dear, watching her son sucking his girl, watching her son's big fat cock shooting its semen into a woman's mouth! Her face was red-purple – and she looked as if she were about to explode. I moved into a sitting position, really stunned. Rhoda was in shock – she was unable to say a word, terrified, and tried to cover herself with the blankets. Come was still visible all over her chin.
I was about to say something when the scream came. Mother stood there and let out the worst scream I have ever heard in my life! Dad shouted from the bottom of the stairs and ran up them in time to see me stand up, still with an erection dripping of come, trying to think of something to say.
"Filth! Filthy pigs, disgusting pigs! Get that slut out of my house… sucking your thing… filthy degenerate pig!" Mother was shaking. Dad didn't know what the hell to do or say. I wanted to shout back, but I thought of Rhoda first, and slammed the door in Mother's face and locked it. She stood out there beating on it for a few minutes, calling us all kinds of names, but Dad finally got her away. I think he dragged her down the hall, the one time in all the years I had been alive that he finally exerted some force over her!
Rhoda broke into tears, and I held her – she was confused. But we talked, and I told her about my mother and how difficult life was with her, I was determined that she would not ruin my relationship with Rhoda, and although it was my fault for leaving the door open and all, I was glad I did it because it put me in a position of having to be truthful.
I told Rhoda I was moving out of my parents' house, I told her I was exclusively oral. I told her what my parents were really like. I told her about them fucking obscenely on the living room floor. I told her I loved her and wanted us to have a chance together.
And we walked out of that house, together, past Mother and Dad. We told them we were in love and that we liked sex and would share all kinds of it. Mother screamed, "Not in my house!" again and we assured her she was right, never again in her damn house!
"I rented an apartment three days ago. Rhoda is going to live with me and maybe, after the influence of my mother wears off, we'll even be able to fuck regularly."
Carey is a typical paranoid character. His only hope for recovery depends on his ability to relinquish his identification with his aggressive mother and come to terms with this aggression he has assimilated from her which, as part of him, he projects upon others.
Now that Carey has left home, and his overprotective mother, he has a better chance of being free psychically, however, he takes his parental situation along with him in his unconscious. Because of the intensity and prolonged quality of his relationship with his mother, Carey now has characteristics – paranoia, sadism, cannibalism – which could even develop into real criminal manifestations in his later life.
As severe as Carey's case seems to be, it is not an unusual development. His Jewish upbringing so characteristic of a middle-class American life dominated by a father whose role in life has been restricted to providing, and a mother who tries to find meaning in life through an overpossessive attitude toward her children, created Carey's situation and many others of similar character, fixated at one level of sexual development or another. Carey is not so much typically a Jewish son as he is typically an American boy.