Ride 'Em, Cowboy!
"You probably won't believe this, but I come from a- place called Roundup, Montana. It's got a population that you could put in your eye and the most rugged wilderness there is. It's my hometown, and maybe that's why everybody calls me Cowboy. My real name is Clyde, so I'd much rather they call me Cowboy.
"I had seen so many movies in our one theater about Hollywood that I just had to get there and see for myself if all them stories were true. The glamour and the women and all. Every female in Hollywood was supposed to be a beauty queen from somewhere else, just waiting to be discovered and made a star.
"And them movie stars are simply everywhere. They said-the folks back home-that you could walk right down Hollywood Boulevard and see any movie star you want, from Sophia Loren to Raquel Welch. And that's exactly what I wanted. I had been told by everyone in Roundup, ever since I was in my teens, that I was gonna grow up to be a movie star. They all said that I had that certain quality-to go along with my curly black hair, crystal blue eyes, and six-foot-six hunk of muscle and bone. They all said that I could be another Rock Hudson if I had a mind to it.
"Besides, I was getting tired of the hometown females. There are really only two that are fittin' to fuck or even date. Emmylou and Tammisue. Twin sisters. The only way you could tell them apart was when they had on something that showed their shoulders. Emmylou has a big brown mole on her right shoulder and Tammisue doesn't. They used to try and trick me all the time, but I finally found out a way to tell them apart that nobody else knew about-Tammisue's right breast was bigger than her left by a full two cup sizes. She had to wear a falsie in her left bra cup to make them both look the same.
"Now, you're probably wondering how that would help me tell them girls apart-that's simple: feel 'em. I was on feeling terms with both girls ever since we was little tykes, and so, when we'd meet somewhere, I'd kind of slowly move up until I got my elbow or arm right up to that left breast. If it felt weird and phony-then it was Tammisue. If it felt all warm and nice and firm enough to make me get a hard on, then it was Emmylou.
"Once in a while I wouldn't be able to get up close to them until it was too late, like when they were both together. I couldn't very well go feeling one while the other sister looked on. That just would not have been the gentlemanly thing to do.
"If I got both of them together and I couldn't see their shoulders or feel their breasts, then I'd just wait for one of them to call the other by name. In the meantime, I'd call them 'Girls,' or 'Sweetie,' or something noncommital like that. I guess they found out that I couldn't tell them apart without some kind of clue, so once in a while the two of them would spend the whole fucking evening calling each other 'Sis!' And that used to burn me up something fierce! I would get the feeling that I'd like to break their frail, pale necks. Just 'cause they were so cute and had real long, silky straight hair that hung down to their asses was no reason for them trying to take advantage of me. I had always treated them right. I'd fucked them everytime they'd asked for it, hadn't I?
"I learned just about everything I know about sex from those two twins. There wasn't a trick they missed-or so I thought. They had showed me things I just wouldn't have believed before.
"Oh, I had had a country boy's sex education, all right-watching the animals fucking up a storm, then watching the older kids playing around with each other's things, and then hearing my old man and old lady screwing-and finally catching a glimpse of them doing it. That was the extent of my education until I discovered the Y- twins Both those girls had the hots for me ever since I can remember.
"At first we were just kids and going to school together in that one-room school. I didn't pay them much mind except that they were different because they both looked exactly alike and even the teacher-old Miss P- was her name-couldn't tell which was which. In fact, if one of them had done something wrong and was told on, Miss P- would ask them which one had done it, and if they didn't confess, then they'd both get punished. That didn't seem too fair to me at the time, but I really couldn't be that bothered with girls.
"I guess I was around twelve when the twins got to me. One of them brushed against me like she hadn't meant to, and I felt my pecker growing on me. It was getting bigger and straighter and I was getting butterflies down inside my stomach. It was the weirdest feeling I had ever had. And I wanted more.
"But I didn't know what it really was that I wanted. It suddenly dawned on me that now I was one of the 'older kids' whom I had been watching before. It was my time to show and do. So, I invited both girls to follow me to our shed out back of the house where we could get better acquainted. It was nice and cool and dark in there, and the girls seemed to be in an awful hurry to get inside.
"Once we were all alone together, inside the privacy of that little shed, both girls dropped their skirts, removed their blouses and stood there-stark naked-for me to stand in awe of. I hadn't never seen a naked female before, and here were two identical beauties with titties and swollen slits that were hairless but inviting.
"I looked from one to the other and-couldn't believe my eyes or my luck. What they were up to, I didn't really care-all I knew was I had twice as much as any other guy could possibly have, and it was prize merchandise! The way their hips flared out and their waists nipped in-and those titties stood out so straight and high. And nipples so rosy and solid! I felt a little faint as I stood there with my mouth open and my pecker aching and twitching like mad.
"'Well, don't just stand there, enjoying the view,' said Emmylou-the one with the mole, I had just found out.
"'No, Clyde, get your clothes off, so we can see what you look like. Emmylou and me got a bet going that you're even bigger and better looking underneath them clothes than you are right now. So strip!'
"Tammisue had said that with such conviction that I just did what she said and started hauling my shirt out of my jeans. After I had bared my rapidly swelling, hairless chest, I slowly began to unbutton my jeans. I'll never forget the looks on those two girls' faces as I ever so slowly undid one button at a time. They were licking their lips and wiggling their hips and eyeballing my crotch like there was a pot of gold inside there.
"As it turned out-there was-a pot of gold, I mean. Those two girls nearly fell over in a dead faint when I undid that last button and hauled my britches down to my ankles and off. There, waving in the breeze was my six-incher-and I was only twelve then, remember. They cooed and oohed and stood there as breathless as I had just- moments before. I was bigger by far than they had anticipated. And I was-so bronzed and ripply of muscle that they were crazy about me from that moment on.
"Of course, I was partial to them, too. Hell, who wouldn't be? But that day, after we'd showed each other what we had, we began experimenting with our tools. I would feel of their titties and they would take turns- squeezing old hambone, as I call it, till it was ready to squirt in their young faces.
"When I stuck my fingers down into their slits, I felt a wet, oozy feeling down there like they was leaking oil or something. They smelled all strong and interesting. I liked the feel of that soft flesh down there, the moistness, and the look on their faces when I touched, them there. In fact, that's how I found out that two things really turn a girl on: playing with her titties and playing with her pussy.
"Anyway, that first day in the shed, the three of us just got acquainted with one another's bodies. We all felt around and sniffed around and pinched here and there. I was really enjoying the hell out of it. And I knew that, from the way those two girls were acting, they were going to be visiting my shed almost daily.
"It wasn't until Emmylou got sick one day that I found out what the real pleasures of sex could be like. Tammisue came with me after school. The two of us, hotter than a bull and a cow, nearly ran all the way to the shed. As soon as we entered, we stripped in two seconds flat. We stared at each other for one moment, and then we were in each other's arms. For the first time, I was actually kissing one of them. It just hadn't seemed right with the two of them in the shed at the same time.
"But here was Tammisue, naked as the day she was born, clinging, to my naked body as if nothing in the world would ever part us. She had to strain a little to get her mouth up to mine since she was so much shorter than I was, even though we were still both young-but I was a growing boy in more ways than one!
"On her tiptoes, Tammisue's lips met mine and something inside me exploded. I felt my hambone begin to come to attention, and knew that she was going to lead me into something I had never tried before. I really don't know for sure if she had done it with any of the other guys around town, but there really weren't that many other guys around-especially who were as tall and as handsome as me. And please don't get me wrong-I'm not conceited, it's just that there were only about five young guys in town who were anywhere near my age, and they were definite stand-ins for Dracula's uglier brother.
"So, Tammisue's excitement over me was nothing to be surprised about. I just held her real tight and felt those hard nipples of hers push themselves into my chest through all that curly hair. There was something good about being with her alone for the very first time. Something exciting and oddly satisfying.
"I picked her up and carried her over to the mound of old clothing we had piled in the corner years ago to lay on and play in. As I laid her down, she sighed and ran her hands over her entire body, sensuously, as if to tell me that she really wanted my hambone.
"Before I gave it to her, I felt her all over with my own hands, touching her soft but firm flesh, tingling to the heavy smell of musk in the air and the aching hardness of that old ham-bone of mine. This was gonna be one of the good times-a time to remember. And Tammisue wasn't gonna forget it too soon, either.
"Slowly, I lapped at her rigid nipples till her entire rear end was in motion. She was wriggling all around, trying to capture that hambone into her pussy. But I was saving that for later.
"I licked some more and then began sucking -hard on the larger of the two nipples. That really sent her off her nut! Her hips were flying and-her fingernails were clawing into my sweating flesh. That only made everything that much more intense! I was getting harder and stiffer-and it was getting harder to hold back.
"Really, I had only one -thing on my mind: to fuck the living hell out of Tammisue. But that foreplay, that teasing, taunting, up-to-the-edge foreplay that nearly drove me wild with passion and had already made a lustful animal out of poor Tammisue was what got me so that there was no turning back. Even if the preacher and his whole congregation were to walk into the shed at that very moment-I could not have turned back any more than I could have turned myself into a woman!
"I could smell her love juices spilling over-that fantastic heavy odor of musk-a woman in heat-that perfume of nature which was so heady that I could barely keep from raping her. I knew she was ready for me, that she could take me now and never flinch. It was now or never, so I aimed my hambone at her dripping pussy hole and let go full blast.
"She screamed at the top of her lungs as my rod rammed home. It was pain and joy and ecstasy all rolled into one passionate scream. Then- there were only soft moaning sounds of pure pleasure. My own sighs and groans blended with hers and we made a harmonic melody of fucking.
"Tammisue's educated hips were twirling. She knew what the hell she was doing-there was no doubts about that. And my hambone knew that she knew! And made the most of it!
"It was hard for me to hold back. I wanted it to last forever, but that old hambone was just about ready to go off with the biggest bang ever. I was fast approaching the point of no return. Once I had reached that point, all I could do would be to pump as hard and as fast as I possibly could until I blew my brains out through my pecker.
"When that moment came, I howled like one of the farm animals and then thrust my pecker as deep into Tammisue's sopping pussy as I could and left it there. Throbbing pulsations rushed through me as liquid fire gushed up from my balls and out into her waiting womb. Her own shrill shriek joined mine as her hips convulsed and her back arched. She was coming, too-and big. That made me feel twice as good as before.
"For a guy to be able to make a girl come is something special-the icing on the cake. To make yourself come inside a female's pussy. is fine and tough, but to feel that same female's body convulse because of your hambone's magical powers-that's really heavy stuff!
"After having had Tammisue all by herself once, I decided that there was no percentage in inviting both girls to the shed at the same time. It was much more erotic to have just one at a time. Sometimes they would both come with me, but one of them would wait outside until I was finished with the other. That way things worked out pretty good.
"But, finally, I got bored with the whole thing. Oh, sure-I had it made. But there was more to life than a pair of twins named Emmylou and Tammisue. And folks in town had kept telling me, the older I got, that I was bound to become a movie star. And I was beginning to believe them. Hell, I had everything I wanted in Roundup-it was time for me to move on. To Hollywood, of course.
"When I got off the bus at the Vine Street terminal, I truly didn't know where to go or what to do. I went up to Sunset Boulevard, and then on up to that famous Hollywood and Vine I had heard so much about-and didn't see one movie – star inside of two hours of looking and gawking like some hick tourist.
"In fact, all I saw were a bunch of dirty hippies like I had read about that were disturbing the universities, a pack of queers, and some whores all painted up like they was gonna be in the school play. Frankly, I didn't know what to make of Hollywood. I was really confused.
"But, using my head, I bought me a paper and looked through the ads for apartments for rent. There were all sorts of advertisements for single people-furnished apartments with swimming pool and billiard room and barbecue pits. It was enough to nearly blow my mind.
"I got me a taxi and headed for the first apartment on the list. It was big and gaudy and fancy as all hell. And when I walked into the opening that led to the manager's apartment according to the signs, there were all kinds of gorgeous females sunning themselves out by the pool. I don't truly know which impressed me more-those beautiful bodies or that gigantic blue swimming pool with slide and all. I had never seen either before.
"The manager took one look at me and summed me up for the hick I was.
"'This is a singles apartment for swingers, sonny,' she said in a deep whiskey voice. 'Are you sure you know what you're in for here?'
"Trying my damnedest to make like a city slicker, I grinned and nodded my head vigorously. Then I eyed the females by the pool and looked back at the manager. She wasn't too bad, herself. Her knockers must have been at least 38s. I eyed them for a long time before I made real eye contact.
"When I did, she was smiling broadly and motioning for me to come on in. She was going to show me the few vacant apartments she had left. And let me know the ground rules. It turned out that this was a sex-oriented apartment house. Just perfect for my needs. Everyone there swung-and that means fucked. They all did whatever came naturally. And there were various parties given during the week and on weekends when all the people would get together and have a mass sex orgy.
"Now, that was my idea of Hollywood, and I rented the first apartment she showed me. But before I signed that lease, she made sure that I wasn't a queer or anything perverted like that. She said she didn't allow no queens or S/Ms in the place-whatever the hell that was. I was so naпve that I didn't even know what S/M meant! How about that!
"Shortly after I moved in, I had a little surprise in store for me. I found out the hard way that no one in the entire stinking joint fucked! All they did was suck! This was a sort of a sucking club and all the members lived on the premises! Man, was it embarrassing the way I found out that I had signed a two years lease on an apartment in a strictly sucking apartment building!"
The entire narrative of Clyde S- has to be viewed with calculated skepticism. Anyone who is as narcissistic as the subject of this case is, tends to have a strong inclination to exaggerate, suppress, and, generally, to distort reality. As a matter of fact, narcissism, which in a great number of cases is a defense -mechanism that attempts to conceal or suppress an inferiority complex, is a subconscious springboard for what might be termed psychopathological prevarications.
What can be accepted in the subject's narrative is that he is a country boy of a very limited education who is very much in love with himself because he is very much conscious of his inadequacies as a human being. Consequently, he tries his utmost to present himself in the image of what might be colloquially called "an irresistible stud." Even here, however, one must be cautious in discerning truth from fantasy. Thus his description of his affair with the young twins-Emmylou and Tammisue-out in the country is more than likely heavily colored. It is extremely doubtful that twelve-year-old girls, especially raised out in the country, would have carried on with the lack of aplomb natural to a city whore, which is the picture that the subject paints of the twins. It is also extremely doubtful that at such an early age either the girls or the subject had had enough background to engage in the sexual activities that he describes. Whatever the truth of that period in the life of the subject might have been, the fact remains that he found himself "bored" with the twins and decided to come out to Hollywood so that the rest of the world wouldn't miss out-in his opinion-on his existence.
It does not take an expert to recognize the fantasy world in which the subject exists, deluding himself with the grandeur of his being. The necessity of such a delusion is understandable when one accepts the fact that without it the subject must recognize himself for what he is: specifically, a male adult-physically-caught within immaturity-mentally.
In The Complete Home Medical Encyclopedia, Harold T. Hyman has the following to say on narcissism, homosexuality, and heterosexual maturation:
Together with functional and anatomic changes, processes of maturation take place in the psyche. As Freud first pointed out, the infant is wholly concerned with its own genital equipment (narcissism: from Narcissus, the lad who fell in love with his own image in a quiet pool). Arriving at school age, the interests and affections of boy or girl center on companions of the same sex (homosexuality; lesbianism or sapphism in the case of the female, uranism in the case of the male). And, while these youthful "crushes" are often nonphysical, they may include temporary experimentation with acts of overt genitalism (mutual masturbation; sodomy; fellatio; tribadism).
By high school age or before, interests and affections shift to individuals of the opposite sex (heterosexual maturation); sometimes with overwhelming intensity, as the boy becomes "girl crazy" (gynephilia) and the girl becomes "boy crazy" (anthrophilia). Finally, love interest focuses on "the one and only…"
It is apparent that the subject of this case is caught in a conflict between maturation and reluctance to mature. He is torn between being a man and enjoying the status of a boy; there is the overwhelming egocentricity with which he is trying to conceal his fears of not being able actually to satisfy a woman. His description of his taking Tammisue sexually in the shed notwithstanding.
In addition to narcissism, Clyde S- is constantly fearful of being taken for a homosexual. This fear is natural within the context of his narcissistic problem: he is constantly commenting on the attractiveness of his physique in general, and his genitals in particular. He must be subconsciously aware that if he finds his own male organ so precious in his own eyesight, then there is constantly the threat that a) some other male will see him as he sees himself, or that b) he will be attracted toward another male for the same reason that he is attracted to himself. This attitude, of course, underscores the fact that basically Clyde is quite ignorant of human sexuality. His attitude toward oral lovemaking is a case in point: he cringes at the idea of a woman performing fellatio on him; to him that type of sexual activity suggests homosexuality. And homosexuality as a possible end result of the subject's narcissism can not at this stage of analysis be ruled out. Particularly when one considers the situation in which Clyde S- finds himself toward the end of his narrative.
His having signed a two years' lease in an apartment building complex in which oral swapping is, so to speak, the rule of the land, is a move-whether conscious or, as the subject claims, unconscious, is irrelevant-that will more than likely do nothing other than strengthen his narcissistic tendencies and, possibly, place him in a position where his bisexual nature will be revealed to him, thereby playing an even greater havoc with his psyche since he will undoubtedly be then "convinced" of his homosexuality.
Perhaps the only encouraging statement that the subject makes, providing it is true, is that whenever he feels the urge for regular sexual intercourse he finds himself a mate outside the apartment building complex. Even here, however, if one analyzes the terminology that Clyde uses in the making of the preceding statement, which can be found in the last paragraph of his narrative, one cannot help but notice his general attitude toward the female sex. It is a derogatory one. Women, in the subject's eyes, are to be used sexually, nothing more. They are a masturbatory apparatus for the gratification of his sexual wants. At no -time in his narrative does Clyde mention emotional involvement or the possibility of such as far as he is concerned. And this omission supports the general conclusion that the subject is an immature, egotistical, and highly unstable individual.
One of the primary concomitants of emotional involvement is responsibility. Clyde S-, because of his emotional immaturity, has never considered becoming a man in the full sense of the word. He is too wrapped up with the image of his questionable studhood, with the complex of inferiority that conflicts with that image, and with the phobia of finding out what life is all about.
"I'll never forget how fast I moved into that fancy city apartment of mine. The main reason being that I was in one helluva hurry to get out to the pool so I could meet as many females as possible before the evening began. The manager had assured me that everything was very loose here and that all the tenants were exceedingly friendly.
"Naturally, I wanted to put that friendliness and looseness to the test as quickly as possible. All I had to do was to move in as rapidly as I could without calling attention to my obvious eagerness, and then I could prowl around and size up the female situation at close range.
"My plush apartment had a fancy long living room with built-in book shelves, a metal-covered fireplace, the thickest carpeting I had ever seen, and a a real, live balcony I could walk out on and look out over the pool.
"Back home, everyone had told me to be especially careful to get myself an upper apartment if there was more than one floor to the building I was gonna be living in. That way I wouldn't have to put up with anyone's tromping over my head all the time. Instead, I would be the one doing the tromping. That's how come I came to get a second-floor apartment-there were only two floors to the huge building. It must have run for miles and miles, but only along the ground, not up… like some.
"As soon as all my gear was stowed away, I learned where everything was-from the bathroom with that huge mirror, to the bedroom with its king-size bed and matching furniture. Man, there were more closets than I could ever have filled! The kitchen didn't interest me any, since I was sure I could get all the dolls I wanted to to make my meals for me. But I did remember the manager telling me something about what soap to use in the dishwasher and what not to put in the disposal. I can't even remember to this day what she said-only that she said something about them.
"Anyway, out to the pool I ran. I was in my swim trunks from Harvey's Food and Grain Shop that also carried a small line of clothes. Suddenly I felt a little odd. I was in real tight, woolen trunks that had no support to them and showed everything I owned. None of the other guys were dressed that way. Most of them had on bikinis, I was to find out later, and looked real sharp. I really must have looked like the hick of the year.
"But, for some reason that I didn't realize then, the girls all perked up the moment I set foot out there. I learned later that it was my huge basket-that's my hambone and balls-that had them all hot and interested. Most of them-reckoned that if my basket wasn't padded with something like the faggots do, then I must really have something worth looking into.
"To tell you the truth, I hadn't really grown that much since I was that twelve-year-old punk in the shed wit-h the twins. My six-incher had only grown into a nine-incher. I had fully expected a doubling of its length and width, since I nearly doubled in height. But, no such luck. As it was, though, the girls really went wild over what I did have.
"I strolled casually around the pool, waiting for someone to make the first move. I was really too damned scared and shy to start anything myself.
"I may have been a tiger back home-but back home is back home, and Hollywood is sophisticated as all hell. I felt about as out of place as an elephant in a bathtub. But I was going to make the most of it, so I sauntered on around the full length of the pool and back the other side.
"I could feel all eyes on me-even those that weren't even looking in my direction; my imagination made them nearly pierce me through. I was the center of-attention-my basket and me, that is-and I could sense a lump tightening up inside my stomach as I made the curve and started back toward the way I had come.
"Suddenly an absolutely gorgeous redhead who was sunning herself without benefit of bra pulled herself up high on her elbows so that her tits and nipples showed and called for me to come over to her. She asked me to oil her back for her. I did it almost mechanically, scared shitless.
"As my hambone started to swell from the contact my fingers had made with her soft, tan back, I tensed even more and tried to pull away. I wanted to get the hell out of there before everyone in the whole damned place saw my erection and laughed me right out of existence.
"Sensing something wrong, she said in a purring voice, 'Thanks, big boy. My name is Samantha. But all my. friends call me Sam. Ummmmm, that feels so good-don't stop now. Ohhhhh, that's good!'
"Totally forgetting my erection, I was dumbstruck by her name-Sam!
"'Sam?' I repeated almost to myself. 'What kind of a name is that for a beautiful girl like you?'
"'I kind of like it,' she replied, turning a little so she could look me in the eye. 'I was named after my maternal grandfather and I loved him very much. Actually, I'm very proud to be named after him-and the name is kicky, anyway.' Her eyes kind of crinkled up as she smiled a little impish smile. 'By the way, big boy, what's your name and where did it come from?'
"Well, here it comes, I gulped to myself. 'Everybody calls me Cowboy. But that isn't my real name,' I hedged. 'My real name is… is… well, hell! My real name is Clyde. And I was named after my father's prize-winning hog. Okay?'
"She was laughing so hard that her makeup was running from the tears. 'Oh, Cowboy, you are the funniest yet! That beats 'em all! Really, it does! You are going to be the life of the parties around here with a sense of humor like that!'
"I sat there, my heart first in my throat, then light as air, as I realized that not only had she not believed me, she had thought I was joking. It was all true, all right, but if it made a funny joke-then I'd tell everyone. They'd all think it was a joke and no one would ever know that I really had been named after Pa's prize hog.
"Samantha rolled over and her huge bronzed tits stood straight up at me. My mouth went dry and my jaw went loose. I tried to cover my shock and embarrassment of seeing a nearly naked lady out in public as best I could, but I truly couldn't! I mean, there she was with more showing than I had ever seen outside of Tammisue and Emmylou-and she was laying there in full view of everybody and the Lord up above!
"'Oh, I'm sorry,' she said quickly and grabbed for her matching halter that went with that tiny piece of material she considered the bottom of her bathing suit. 'I didn't mean to shock you right off. I forgot that you're new here-and a cowboy, at that. I bet all you've ever seen is a whole bunch of naked cows and horses-and sheep,' she said with the wickedest twinkle in her eye.
"'Hell, ma'am, it's all right. I been around in my time, but I never did see anyone naked or even bared out in public before, and that's the truth.'
"She smiled and laughed a twinkling little laugh. 'Oh, Cowboy, if you stay here, that'll all change.' Suddenly her face lit up like Christmas and New Year's all at once. 'Hey, are you going to be at the-party at Wendy's tonight? I bet that old battle-axe of a manager forgot to let you know about it.'
"'You're right, she did forget. What party and when and where?' I said too eagerly.
'"It's one of the regular parties at Wendy's-that's Apartment 238-at nine o'clock tonight. Wendy has a huge, two-bedroom affair that's really set up with all the best of everything. Wait till you see! You are coming, of course?'
"'Of coarse!'
"I could hardly wait for my first party at this 'swinging' apartment. There was going to be sex and booze and all the things that were forbidden back home. To say that I could hardly wait was the understatement of the year!
"When nine o'clock rolled around, I was ready. I had put on my fancy duds and felt really decked out. I was really going to impress those luscious females that were going to be there! I just knew it-I felt it in my bones-especially in my hambone!.
"When I got to number 238, there was no doubt in my mind that a party was going on-in fact, was in full swing already. Music was blaring and I could smell the almost-sickening odor of incense and something else that I couldn't-quite make out, but it was sweet, too.
"I didn't have to knock-the door was ajar and I just sort of pushed at it till it was open enough for me to see inside. Then, slowly, cautiously, I edged my way through the small opening and entered an entirely new scene. Bright lights were flashing in time with the music and the music was loud and bouncy and almost hypnotizing. It felt as if it were your own heartbeat that was being serenaded.
"It was several seconds before I realized that very few of the people had any clothes on. There were naked, or seminaked bodies, everywhere-on pillows, on a round waterbed in the center of the huge living room, on the thickly carpeted floor-everywhere! It was like one large mass of bodies-males tangled up with females-all entwined and doing their thing.
"As my eyes got used to the light, I saw Samantha-I mean, Sam-sitting over in a corner by herself. She was holding a little piece of metal that was holding what was left of a camel or a Lucky Strike. I didn't know that city folks smoked those brands-I always thought city people smoked only them filtered brands with the fancy names.
"As I got closer to her, Sam squinted her eyes at me and waved. She had recognized me! I felt a sudden tingle shoot through my body and head straight for my hambone. I was ready for her-and I hoped with every nerve of my body that she was ready for me. I was going to fuck the living daylights out of her and let her know what my hambone was really all about.
"Sam held out her hand as I approached. She seemed a little drunk or something. Not quite normal. It wasn't until much later that I found out that she and most of the others used marihuana. It seems that it heightened the sexual senses a great deal. But, what I never could figure out was what needed heightening? I had never had any trouble with my orgasms-and neither had Tammisue or Emmylou. So, I really could never figure out the hang-ups of these city folk who were supposed to be so much better than us country people.
"'You're too damned dressed!' Sam nearly yelled at me. The music was a bit loud. 'For Christ's sake, Cowboy, get out of those threads before the fuzz comes and busts you for decent exposure. Man, don't let everyone see how square you are-let your dick hang out or something.'
"Frankly, I truly couldn't understand half of what she was saying to me-it was a totally foreign language as far as I was concerned- but, that last part I heard, understood, and complied. Reaching down, I unzipped my trousers, pulled back my undershorts' flap, and hauled old hambone out for all the world to see.
"Even with all the music going on, there seemed to be a hush in the room. I didn't realize what had caused it, but I would have died if I had known it was the exposing of the old hambone that had done it. I had more meat on me than any other guy in the place, and I didn't realize it then. I had always been disappointed with it. It seemed too short to do much with.
"Sam grabbed it right off and, dropping her cigarette in the nearest ashtray, she lunged at me with her mouth wide open. I was so startled that I pulled away slightly. But she ignored the motion and followed. She slipped her warm, moist lips around my quickly growing hambone and began to suck lightly on the head.
"My head began to spin and my knees nearly gave out from under me! A female was actually sucking on my hambone-and it felt fucking good! I thought only fairies sucked, but it felt too damned good! I stood there, swaying back and forth as Sam sucked and licked on the length of my shaft. I couldn't hear the music anymore, or see anything but the lights from the inside-my eyes were shut tight-and smell the sweet odor of incense and sweat and marihuana.
"As she sucked on my pecker, she started to pull my trousers down around my ankles. I felt cool air brushing against my bare flesh and shivered slightly.
"While Sam squeezed the firm shaft of my hambone and sucked and licked it, two other hands took hold of my balls and began playing with them. It was the weirdest feeling I had ever experienced! Two females were working on me at the same time, and both of them were doing perverted things that felt damned good-too damned good to be perverted!
"My whole body was shaking from the sexual excitement I was experiencing. I was taken back to that first time I had made little Tammisue come-how her entire body had shaken and writhed under mine-how she had loved every minute of it. That must have been what I was feeling right then with two females pulling and tugging, and licking and sucking. It was almost more, I thought, than I could stand.
"What really got to me was when I felt another female's hands behind me. They grasped my ass cheeks and kneaded them like my ma had used to knead dough. It felt good-awfully good, along with the rest. Then, the female in back pulled my ass cheeks apart and I could feel hot breath on my bare asshole.
"I stiffened. It was the first time and I couldn't keep myself calm. This was definitely a queer act, but it felt so fucking good along with that female on my balls and Sam on my hambone.that I just couldn't tell whoever it was to stop doing it to me, that I wasn't no queer.
"Then I felt a tongue-hot and moist-brush against my twitching asshole as brazenly as if I were a queer. I wanted to shout out that I was not a pansy-that I was a he-man, but it felt too fucking good. I just gritted my teeth and stood there while the three females licked and sucked and tugged and pulled and caressed and did everything that they possibly could to make me come.
"I finally did come when that female in back of me stiffened her tongue and plunged it right inside my asshole! It felt like electricity running through me and I just hollered bloody murder and let loose two gallons of pure cream down Sam's beautiful throat.
"Sam didn't budge, but just stayed right where she was, drinking down my cream as if it were vanilla flavored. The other two females were really going to work on me-one poking her stiffened tongue in and out of my asshole while the other yanked at my shrunk-up balls. I felt as if I had died and gone to Heaven and was being rewarded by the angels.
"When I stopped twitching and started to relax, Sam took over and shooed the other two girls away. She had me sit down next to her while she kissed my face and lips. I could taste my own cream on her lips and smell it on her breath. It was strong, like ammonia, but there was a slight musky odor there, too.
"Females in heat always give off a musky odor from their mouths when they really are hot to trot. I learned that from Tammisue and Emmylou. It works every time. If a female wants a good fucking, she starts breathing a light musky smell. Funny, ain't it?
"Anyway, after I had recovered slightly from everything that had happened, I looked Sam right in the eye in all earnest and said: 'Samantha, I am not no queer! How come all you girls treated me like one?'
"Sam laughed, that little tinkle I have since gotten so used to, and pointed around the room. For the first time I actually looked at something other than the blinding lights and the smoke. There were people-bodies I had vaguely seen-and I saw them for the first time. There's a difference between looking at something and actually seeing it.
"What I saw was couples sucking each other. Females sucking guys' peckers and guys licking out females' pussies-and some doing both at the same time. That, I found out later, was sixty-nining it. When both female and male suck each Other at the same time. And I found that it wasn't just for queers. The most masculine of guys were there, sucking away at gals, and having their balls and peckers sucked, and their aasholes reamed by some obliging tongue.
"That was how I found out that I had moved into an apartment building that housed a sex club-an oral sex club. After I got to know everyone and what was what, it suddenly dawned on me why the manager had stressed that no faggots or S/Ms were allowed. Faggots were queers and S/Ms were sadomasochistic nuts who like to hurt and be hurt. Everything started to fall into place.
"I never did find out why no fucking was allowed, but whenever I felt the need for the old hambone to rip into a fresh pussy, I'd just take me a stroll down the boulevard and pick up some fresh cunt…"
The prognosis for Clyde S- is that eventually-unless his current attitudes are altered through contact with a mature and understanding female with whom an emotional involvement might develop-he will find himself where he fears to be: in a homosexual sphere.