"Turn 'em upside down and they all look alike!" Melvin Carter laughed as we watched one of the girls posing nude with her legs in the air.
Melvin was wrong of course. No two pussies look alike just the same as no two peckers are identical. Some girls have a cunt that goes halfway up their gut while some have a small slit, some have puffy pussy lips while others are sort of flat-cunted, no two clitorises are quite the same while the depth and breadth of the vagina is legend. Even in my youth I understood this truth since I had seen countless girls in the gym shower and it never ceased to amaze me the way no two people are alike. And no two people react to sex the same way either, that's why a strange piece is so real and exciting.
"Spread your legs a little more, honey," Bruce Adams told the girl as he focused his camera. "And smile like you're enjoying it. Too bad your cunt can't smile!"
We were in the basement of Bruce's home and it was a grand place to be. There were no partitions in the whole huge place so it like a theater, with lights and cameras and backdrops, just like Hollywood. Bruce made a lot of movies for stag parties and to be sold on the X-rated market, and he also took still photos for the big magazines. It was obvious he made plenty of money so I felt privileged to be a part of it. Sex was a big business and that's exactly where I wanted to be.
"Yeah, Angie, you'll do just fine," Bruce told me when he first saw me. "The younger the better for any good film, and besides that you're a real beauty.
You got any qualms about fucking under the lights?"
"I enjoy a good screw."
"Sure, they all do, honey. But can you perform under the lights? Turns a lot of people off!"
"I ain't never tried it that way. But some of my friends have watched while I fucked. I've watched them a few times too."
"This is a different proposition all together, Angie. It's going on film so you have to make it look good You have to pretend the guy turns you on, even if he doesn't."
"Any guy could turn me on."
"Maybe. But sometimes we have to make retakes and it goes on for hours. Think you can act it out even when you get bored?"
Imagine getting bored with sex!
I assured Bruce I'd do my best so he let me watch while he did some still work, and I even got to see three people fucking. Two women and one man. First the girls got to sucking on each other's titties, then they tried to fuck, then this good-looking guy walked in, naked, and the three of them went to fucking each other. They ended up by having the guy lie on his back, while one girl sat on his cock. He was cunt-sucking the other female. And no matter what Bruce warned me about, you could have fooled me. Those three people went to screwing like they enjoyed it. Even when Bruce had to change film and told them to take a break, they went right on rehearsing. They fucked and sucked and groaned and moaned like I never heard before.
I was ready to do my part right then.
"Naw, we got something special for you, Angie," Bruce told me. "I can sell a film of you real quick. You look fresh and virginal and that's what the public wants."
"I ain't no virgin."
"Naturally. But you look the part. We're gonna set up a scene where a guy rapes you. We'll make it look, good, like you're a schoolgirl or something. This guy will jump you, and you have to scream and kick and fight him off. But he gets to you. Puts it in you. Understand?"
"Sure. But do I have to fight too hard? I don't mind if he really does it to me."
"This is Never-never Land, honey. Remember? This is make-believe. Far-out city.
A trip from reality. So we have to give 'em something special. Work on their own secret desires, the things they want to do but can never have for real. We let people have a taste of all the sweetest sex they could ever imagine. That way nobody gets hurt and we cut down the crime rate. When they can get it in the movies they don't have to dream any more. They already got it, understand?"
"What if some people want to see animals fuck "people? Do you film that too?
There's a couple of my girl friends who always wanted dogs to do it to them.
And Shirley Appleby always stops to look at the horse by our school. Especially when he has a hard-on. I know she'd give anything to have that animal fuck her."
"Nothing wrong with that, Angie. We all have a secret little desire, something deep down we don't tell a damn soul about. A way to get our kicks. Getting raped, or fucking a black man, or pulling panties off young girls, or sneaking around back yards to peek in bedroom windows. We've all got something we dream about. So I put it on film to satisfy everybody."
"I don't want no animal to do it to me, Bruce."
"You don't have to worry about that, Angie. Sure I make a few of those films.
And we do some whipping, and we make all kinds of kinky movies when I get a special order for it. But there ain't a big market for that kind of stuff. Not really. Most people are hung up on straight screwing. They love to watch other people fuck. Hell, I've bad parties right here at my place where I put on ten hours of film. Nobody ever leaves. There's no end to the sexual hungers of real people. Long as I've got fresh faces, new bodies, different cocks and cunts, I could keep an audience here for a year. So I guess we're fulfilling a need to the community."
I kept getting the feeling Bruce felt guilty about what he was doing since he referred to community acceptance when he talked. Maybe I'd be that way too when I was forty years old like Bruce, yet right now I wasn't concerned about morals or community standards. I was young so I wanted to do what comes naturally.
"When do I get to do it?" I asked "An hour or so. We'll have to work outside."
"You mean I gotta get naked outside? Hey, I don't want the neighbors to see me!"
"Naw, they won't, Angie. I really like the idea of that rape scene with you. So we'll drive up to the woods and set it up. Should be a good scene."
In a way I was disappointed because here, under the lights, it seemed more like Hollywood. Deep down I was already excited, thinking about the countless men and women all over the country who would be watching me get screwed. I could be home taking a bath, or eating, or maybe in school, while somewhere, some time, people would be getting sexed-up from watching me get raped. It was a sensation that I enjoyed. An extension of my own sexual capacities until I felt like a real artist. A person who gave to the world something beyond their own personality. Maybe I was justifying myself, my own need for sexual exploitation, yet I had no guilt about it. I liked to fuck. I meant to make a living at it. And to my mind it was just another side of the coin from a housewife. A wife had to fuck for her bread too, or her husband would be chasing me and a dozen other females. So where was the wrong in enjoying the natural hungers of your own body? Lots of famous women had done it.
We drove up the canyon, and Bruce was cussing.
"Too much fuckin' sunlight!" He was mad. "I wanted it to look like dusk. Gives more drama when it's darker. Shit, now I'll have to use filters!"
He set up the scene where I had to walk through these trees, with books under my arm, and this guy follows me. I hear him coming. I run. The guy chases me.
He grabs me and throws me to the ground.
Sounded okay, but we did it six times before Bruce was satisfied, and I was getting tired. That was a lot of walking and running for nothing and I got the feeling Bruce thought he was a great Hollywood director, making a big important scene.
We took a break and had some sandwiches, then he got on to fucking me. This guy grabbed me and threw me down into the leaves, and I didn't have to act about getting raped.
"Hey, lemme up!" I kicked and yelled. "This ground's too hard! It hurts my back! Oooowww, something's sticking in my back!"
Bruce had costumed me with some special tear-away clothes so the actor ripped them off and then went to fucking me.
"Look at the camera, Angie!" Bruce shouted. "Let us see the pain on your face!
Look at the camera!"
Fuck him and his camera. The actor was screwing me all right but it was a dud.
He didn't even have a hard-on, yet he was pounding me into that hard dirt.
"Lemme up, goddammit!" I beat on his shoulders. "Who the hell you tryin' to kid, Mister! Lemme up!"
"Cut! Cut!" Bruce bellowed as he stood up waving his arms. "For cryin' out loud, Angie! You gotta make it look real! You gotta face the camera for hell sakes! And stop that damn screaming, okay?"
"Tell him to get off!" I was angry. "He's just fuckin' around and he ain't even got it in. This ground is killing my back."
"We can dub in the sexual entry later at the studio," Bruce informed me. "Get some close-ups. Now get on with it, and for hell sakes give us some frontals, will you?"
I did my best and tried to act out the little rape scene, and later at the studio I tried to act passionate when Bruce had the actor fuck me for the close-ups. But the guy could barely get it hard until he had to jack off before it would even rise. In a way that insulted me because I never had trouble before with peckers.
"Sorry, honey," the actor shrugged. "But after a while this gets to be hard work."
That scared me. There wasn't any money in the world that was worth getting bored over sex. Even cash wouldn't do a girl any good if she wasn't a true female any more.
"I've got a great idea," Bruce told me when we finally got done with his little scene. "Tomorrow we'll dress you up as Heidi. There's some sheep up there in the hills and we can play you like a young Swede. Have a gang o guys grab you and do the whole bit. We can fuck the sheep too, and have a double shot."
"I gotta tend some children tomorrow," I alibied.
"Aw, fuck that shit, Angie. What can you make from babysitting? Two bucks?
Five? Hell, I'm paying a hundred bucks a film!"
"How much do you make out of it, Bruce?"
"Well, you gotta remember I've got an investment here, Angie. Then there's the distribution and the mailing and all the equipment."
"I should get more. That was hard work."
"A hundred a film, Angie. That's tops. Shit, half my women fuck all day for fifty!"
"I'll never get rich this way, Bruce. What about the royalties?"
"There ain't no royalties on stag films, sweetie. I just sell the prints. As many as I can."
"I read in the papers about those other girls, and some of them made a hundred thousand dollars from one film."
"Sure they did. Some of 'em even made more. But that's big-league stuff, sweetie. You gotta have connections to put over a big one. It's all pussy, all the same fucking, but you gotta get lucky to hit the big time."
I was not ungrateful to Bruce but a girl could get turned off fucking under the lights. The pleasure of sex just didn't belong there, at least the way he directed it, and it was laughable to have a guy humping like mad on top of you while he didn't even have a hard-on. Sex should never be laughable. It's too important, too beautiful, and I didn't want to become jaded like the other women at his studio. Even the whores at the Vespers still enjoyed their sex, so it would be better to be an outright whore than to pretend when it comes to screwing.
I told Bruce he'd have to get somebody else when he got the sheep gang-bang and he wasn't angry. "I can get all the women I need," he said. And I didn't doubt him for one minute.
My babysitting days were about finished. People get suspicious when you're sixteen and still willing to tend squawling brats while your friends are dating. The husbands don't object, but wives get jealous when a nubile young girl gets to smiling at their man.
Still I needed money because I was determined not to touch my savings, so I tried being a car-hop after school down at Danny's Burger Barn. Met some nice guys and had lots of offers for sex, but everybody wanted to screw for love. No cash. And they only paid me a few dollars a week at the place while I ran my ass off. It was a helluva way to make a buck so I quit.
"What we gonna do, Paula?" I asked my friend when we met in the hall between classes.
"Gee, I dunno, Angie. Maybe we ain't never gonna make no money."
"Well I am, by hell! One way or another! I don't mean to end up hungry and bitter in some rundown apartment!"
Cash became an obsession with me, interwoven with sex. I watched my friends fuck in the back seat, or sneak into the broom closet at school to fuck between classes, and that was fine. Except that afterward, when their physical desire was accomplished, they seemed blank. Staring at a world that was hostile. Sex could only last a very short time and then they had to face the gloom of a cold world. Even the price of a hot dog was beyond most of them.
I saw two possibilities.
Either I had to marry a rich guy or I had to be a real pro like the women at the Vespers. There was little chance for me to break into the upper crust where all the money was kept, so that left one sure thing.
"You promised not to bother us again," the madam was upset when she saw me.
"Yes, I know, and I meant it. But I gotta learn a profession before I get too old."
"Honey you ain't never too old for sex. Why, I once had a girl named Madeleine.
Sixty-three years of age. And she made more money than any of us. She knew what to do."
"So teach me. Please?"
"You got guts, honey. Maybe we can do something for you after all."
"I'll pay you for the lessons."
"You can earn your keep as we go along, honey. But I gotta know one thing first. How do I know you ain't gonna get us in trouble? They could close me down in a hurry if you talked. You're still a minor you know."
"I'll do anything you say. And I can keep my mouth shut. I really got to make some money."
"You're a smart cookie, Angie. Most women don't realize how important cash is before they've gone through a couple of marriages. If we can work something out you can make plenty here. Men like to screw fresh young things."
"That's what I'm counting on. I want to be just like you when I get older, and I wanta have plenty of money by that time."
"Ain't nothing wrong with being a whore, honey. We have good times, we party all the time, and we love each other. How many houses in town got that much pleasure under one roof?"
"What do I learn first?"
"Well, you've already got screwed, so that's a beginning. But a man needs more than a cunt. He needs response. He needs petting, and you gotta' make him feel important. You gotta make him think he's the best lay you ever had. Every time.
Every man."
"That won't be hard. I like to screw."
"Sure you do, honey. We all do. But the sex is only a little part of it. The guys who come here already got a woman someplace, a wife or a girl friend or something. They could go there if they just wanted to empty their balls. In this place we gotta create a mood. Make a man king for a day. Give him something he can't find with any other woman, anywhere, no matter what."
"I was meant to be a whore. I just know it. I feel good about it already."
"We'll have to forge you some papers. Make, it look like you're legal age. You willing to sign some things?"
"Anything you say."
She told me her name was Claudia Suacie and that she was born in France, and I felt closer to her than my own mother. It took three days for her to get the papers she wanted me to sign and I could hardly wait to start the fuck lessons.
I was born to be a lady of pleasure and I felt it, and when I told Paula she wanted to come with me.
"I'll try to work you in later," I promised. "But you-know something, Paula? I feel free for the first time in my life. Now I don't have to worry if a husband can feed me, and I know. I'll never go hungry. Not ever."
"You can get all the screwing you want too, Angie."
"Sure. I realize that. But I could have done that anyway. I could give it away like the kids at school are doing. Except they get depressed after they luck since they still ain't got the price for a new bra. Well I'm gonna have it! I'm gonna make that million after all, Paula!"
I was so happy I called up Colin Brown and we went to a motel and fucked all afternoon.
"You're still the best piece of ass I ever had," he told me afterward. "And I suppose I'll have to come and pay you for it from now on? Down at the Vespers?"' "You can have some for free, Colin. You gave me my first real piece and I love you for it."
"If I was rich I'd keep you in a castle, Angie. Like a fairy princess. You're so fuckin' pretty it hurts!"
"You can have a little more right now if you want, Colin."
"Holy Hanna, Angie! I just got through. Nobody can do it twice in a row that fast."
"I can."
"You really like the stuff, don't you?"
"Love it."
"You'll make a good trollop. You're gonna be in demand, Angie. Too bad you weren't born in the Middle Ages. You could have been a courtesan to kings."
"You really think so, Colin?"
"That's the damn truth, honey. Any man would give his left nut to get in your pants."
I hoped Colin was right. I wanted to fuck for a living as well as for fun, and the thought of that fairy princess castle haunted my thoughts. Except that I didn't want any old fortress locked away from the world. I wanted a mansion, in the heart of the city, where people came to find a night of pleasure.
It would be better than going home to a drawer full of bills and the same old dreary sexual partner.