I had not been two days at the cadets' quarters at Fort St George, when I was ordered to do duty pro tempore with the — th Regiment at Vepery, a suburb of Madras, and I joined accordingly.
There being a suite of rooms to let in the mess house, I preferred taking them to going into cantonments; they were only 50 rupees a month (?2 10s. 6d.).
Now it happened that the bungalow adjoining the mess house was an establishment for young ladies — i.e., 'half caste' young ladies. Now these, 'nut-brown maidens' (as Thompson, the poet, I think it is, calls them) were accustomed to bathe naked in a lake (tank is the Indian word), before sunrise, which tank had been constructed in their compound (anglice, garden) for that purpose, and it also happened that my dubash (i.e. butler), who, par parenthesis, had a keen eye for his master's intrigues, had advised me of the fact.
The walls of the school compound were high, but as my rooms were upstairs and not on the ground floor of the mess house, I could very easily overlook them.
In India the houses are constructed with a deep verandah or collonnade all round, so that the apartments may be shaded from the fervent heat of the climate; from the front of these verandahs hang mats or blinds made of the sweet-smelling cuscus root, and these are kept wet, by having water continually thrown upon them, so that the air, however hot it is outside, enters the verandah and house at once cool and fragrant. It is very easy to see through these blinds from within, but persons outside can discern nothing. Every morning then, the moment I got out of bed, I would seat myself in a lounge chair, and with a cheroot and a cup of coffee, sit and smoke, watching the gambols of the young girls in the water.
The sight I then obtained so fired my imagination that I conceived an ardent longing to be amongst them. These half-caste girls have generally remarkably fine figures — some of the girls before me were perfect. Their hair was particularly luxuriant and beautiful, and one or two had pretty faces, though it must be confessed a slight tint of the rose would have freshened them up wonderfully.
However, Europeans get used to pale cheeks in time.
I called to Ballaram, my dubash; he was a fine looking fellow of the Mahratta caste, who never did any work, but merely catered for my table, and kept the other servants in order — a sort of gentlemanlike major-domo in fact. He approached as grave as a judge.
'You are a man of experience,' said I, 'cast your eyes over those girls and tell me which will make the best bedfellow?'
Ballaram examined them attentively.
'For make fuckee business, sahib, that girl who is splashing the other one would be too much good, but if master thinks about preety facee and fine body, the missee who is squeezing the water out her hair very brabher hie.'
'Do you think any gentleman has had her yet?'
'Dat ting who can tell, sahib?'
'But I suppose the old women who keep these schools turn a pagoda or two now and then by means of these girls who after all are only the daughters of small shopkeepers in the Black Town; of what manner of consequence can be the reputation of the little daughter of a half-caste shopkeeper?'
'All that too much true, sar. S'pose the Colonel Sahib, or the Major Sahib, or any other burra sahib [great man], happen to cast his eye that way,' and he inclined his head towards the school, 'and him say, "Boy, go, bring me such a girl," ah, that bhote brabher hie [very proper]. Him boy say, "Bhote eucha, sahib" [very good, sir], and him run to old lady mistress and say, "The burra sahib wantee such a girl, put a veil over her and let her come."
'Then old lady mistress askee, "You money got?" "Yees!" him answer, "How much rupee?"
"Very good, backsheesh, ma'am, fifty rupah." "Fifty rupees not 'nuff, must have eighty rupees, you tellee Colonel Sahib dat girl one virgin."
'Den burra sahib get angry, and he make send sepoy and angry chit [note], and he threaten old half-caste woman to send to jail for being procuress, and he frighten old she too much, so she send little missee, and she take the fifty rupees, and Colonel Sahib have girl all rightee. But s'pose little young Cornet Sahib, like your honour, do this, then master get too much trouble, get in what you call one great row, master savee.'
'Yes yes, I see what you mean, but what force won't accomplish, money may.'
'That one very good word, sahib, but master's pay only two hundred and ten rupees a month, that not too much money.'
'But I have money at my agents, Messrs Parry, Dare amp; Co. At all events I must and will have that girl.'
'How much you givee, sahib?'
'Well, eighty rupees [?8], if she's a virgin, and fifty rupees [?5], if she's been poked before.'
'Bhote eucha, Sahib, master dress and go banker's and bring back pica [the money], and then I make all brabher.'
'And when shall I have her?'
'Today night.'
I continued to watch the girls till they had done bathing, and then having breakfasted, I was off to my agents in a palankeen as fast as the bearers could trot. I brought back the money in gold pagodas (a beautiful coin about the size of an English half-crown, and worth seventeen rupees, or thirty-four English shillings).
'There' I said, as I shot them out on to the table in one golden glittering heap, if that sight does not make the old girl's mouth water I don't know what will. But, harkee, Master Ballaram, take care I'm not made a fool of, for if the affair fails, I shall dismiss you from my service.'
'Har — why sar? you don't want to talk that way, master gentleman, no; I only too much poor man, I master slave; what him say it same as if my God say it — de girl sall come.'
'Yes,' said I laughing, 'but in the meantime I'll put the pagodas under lock and key — tell the old woman you have seen the money, that it is all ready, and upon her bringing the girl here tonight at ten o'clock, it is hers.'
Ballaram looked vexed, but promised compliance.
'If it is all right I have a pagoda for you.'
'Bhote eucha, sahib!' and he made his salaam.
I sat drinking my wine at mess till half-past nine, and then retired to my apartments, and lighting a cheroot, waited with the greatest expectation for the happy moment. At about three minutes to ten Ballaram appeared, and in a mysterious whisper told me the old woman and the girl were below.
'Quick!' said I, 'show them up.'
The next minute two muffled figures appeared, covered from head to foot with a thick native veil of crimson muslin edged with gold. The stoutest of the two I conjectured was the old harridan herself, so I said, 'Good evening, madam, be seated, pray,' and I placed two chairs on which they sat down.
'Good evening, sare,' replied the old woman, 'I have brought missee, you see, as you wished, and if you really have the money your dubash mentioned, I leave her with you till half-past four tomorrow morning, when I will call for her, before anybody is about. But I must have my rupees at once.'
'With all my heart,' said I, unlocking my cash box, then resting my arm upon it I added, 'be so obliging as to remove your veil and that of the young lady, that I may see that she is the same I expected.'
'But the money sare, the money!'
'Is here,' said I.
'Well, sight for sight,' said the old crone, 'dat fair; show me your money, I show you the gal.' I turned the key and threw up the lid, the old woman cast her muffler off her head and sprang forward.
At the sight of the gold pagodas her eyes sparkled, and she tried to clutch them.
'Soho — gently — gently! you have shown so much distrust of me that you must pardon me if I doubt you; there is the money, you see it, I will count it if you please; prove to me that you have brought the right girl, and it is yours.'
I thought the old devil looked a little confused, but she unmuffled the girl in an instant; to my surprise she had nothing on but the crimson wimple, so there she stood naked and grinning before me.
'It won't do, old lady, won't do at all, this is not the young lady, as you know quite well.'
In fact it was the 'splashing' girl.
'She is fine piece,' said the old woman deprecatingly, 'she'll know how to please you; as to the other she's no good and too much shy.'
'Oh! damn it all,' said I, 'what an old humbug you are; I tell you, I'll have the other one or none, so come — troop — shog off; come back with the other, or not, just as you please; if you do, here's the money, if you don't, not a rupee — begone.'
As she went out, I heard her say to Ballaram, in Hindustani. 'What a sharp little fellow he is, that master of yours.'
Ballaram twirled up his moustache, cast upon her a glance of supreme disdain, but vouchsafed not a word. So the old hag began to hobble down the stairs, followed by the equally discontented damsel, whom I did not admire in the least, and who gave me an angry glance, which I replied to with
'a snipe'.
As soon as they were gone, I called Ballaram. 'You see,' said I.
'What I do, sar? how could I help it. Dam old woman understand too much well, but she try to put off her old stuff on you first. S'pose master like other young gentleman, griffin you call dem, you pay money first, and find out not right gal after. Old woman not know you not like other griffin, sahib.'
'But I want the girl, and I suppose she won't bring her now?'
'Not bring — never fear. She back 'gen presently.'
He was right, in about ten minutes she returned, and pushed the girl into the room with an angry gesture. 'There she is sir, take her and give me the money,' and she roughly pulled off the girl's muffler, and spite of her modest struggles to retain at least some part of it, presented the beautiful creature naked to me. She was the same girl I had seen wringing the water out of her hair in the school compound. I handed over the pagodas, which the old crone carefully counted; then, tying them up in a red cotton handkerchief, she hurried away. I sprang to the door, bolted it and then caught the dear girl in my arms.
She was quite young, but her breasts were fully developed, firm and pointed; only a slight quantity of hair had begun to sprout on her mons Veneris; her waist was small and round, and her hips singularly large and bulging, with the most splendid buttocks imaginable; her hands and feet were exquisitely small, and there was a pensive expression in her childlike face, which was very winning.
'Come, my pet,' said I, caressingly, drawing her on to my knee, 'let me give you a glass of wine; try these mangoes, they are very fine.'
'I feel so ashamed,' she said, trying to hide her face.
'Nonsense!' said I, 'never mind me, I'm only a boy, you know; now if it had been the old grey-headed colonel, I shouldn't be surprised; come, give me a kiss.'
This she did, and so electrified me, that I could not restrain myself, and began to kiss and pull her about, to all of which she made great resistance.
'Then you really never yet have had a man?' said I.
'No, never I assure you.'
'But you know all about it, I suppose, my dear?'
'Oh — yes — many of the girls have been with the officers four or five times, and they tell us about it; so, of course, we learn everything.'
'Well, my darling, drink a glass or two of wine, and have some mangoes, we will chat a little while.' She did so, and seemed to enjoy the fruit and wine. 'Now dip your pretty little paws in this basin of water, here's the towel, that's the ticket. Now let us make love.'
Presently I asked, 'What's the name of the old woman, my girl?'
'Mrs Aventura.'
'Do you like her?'
'Who, I, sir? I can't endure her.'
'No?'
'She's a dreadful old woman.'
'Is she though?'
'Horrid.'
'Why?'
'Oh she will make the girls do the most shocking things with quite old men — if they only pay her well.'
'Pooh, my dear, that is very natural, the old girl only wants to make up a purse, I suppose.'
'Yes, but most of the girls don't like it, especially the little ones.'
By this time I was frigging her with great assiduity.
'And you, my dear, how do you feel, do you think you shall like it?'
She cast down her eyes pressed her cheeks against mine, and whispered, 'With you I think I shall, but not with old men.'
I gently laid her down on the bed, and taking off my shirt and pajamahs (loose silk drawers), I lay down beside her and told her how I had seen her bathing, how much I admired her and how I was determined to have her. Then I mounted her and began to drive at her virgin cunny. What a tight little box it was. I'm afraid I put her to considerable pain, for she struggled and cried very much; but, what was curious, whenever I offered to release her, she only hugged me the closer, and tried to smile through her tears. This conduct on her part so captivated me that, thrusting with double vigour, at the fourth push I went through all obstacles up to the hilt. She groaned and sobbed, exclaiming, 'Oh, oh, how dreadfully you have hurt me. Oh, I shall die!' But presently a soft languor pervaded her frame, she kissed me gently and began to spend. What a delicious moment it was. After a time, my climax almost coming, I clung to her with fury, grasping and feeling every charm, and then sent a rushing torrent up the rosy passage.
For some minutes afterwards we lay without sense or motion, prostrate on the bed, but coming to by degrees, we began to toy and kiss, and soon wrought ourselves up to the same state of excitement we had before been in, only this time her shyness had a good deal worn off, and she seemed as willing for the play as myself. In fine, I passed a most delicious night, and so got into the good graces of my companion that she promised so soon as I joined my regiment at Cannanore, which I was to do in a fortnight (being only temporarily attached to the one I was then with), to endeavour to escape from the school and join me there.
But matters turned out very unfortunate for the furtherance of our little game. I suppose I may have indiscreetly talked to some of the officers of the regiment about the fine girl I had had, and at length it came to the ears of the colonel. He set his spies to work, and soon wormed out the whole story. Then I was sent for, and severely reprimanded for 'the great impropriety of my conduct'. I was
'reported' to the Adjutant-General, and was ordered to join my regiment forthwith. Having thus, rather unscrupulously, got rid of me, the old scoundrel sent for Mrs Aventura and asked her how she dared to let one of his subalterns take precedence over him and have the pick of the girls?
The old lady, plucking up some courage, replied with asperity that for her part those who paid best were the customers she most liked. That the young gentleman had very handsomely given her eighty rupees, while he, the colonel, never yet gave her more than fifty, and she added that she thought she had been bullied by him long enough. The colonel was furious, he swore that unless she immediately brought him the girl, for whom he would not pay her a single pice, he would send in such a report of her conduct as would lead to her being indicted 'for corrupting the morals and extorting money from young officers', when she might rely upon it her school would be broken up, and herself sent to jail.
Terrified at these threats, she drew in her horns, and promised compliance, so poor Lillias was carried off to the old rascal, spite all her tears and opposition. But she was a resolute girl and, indignant at the way her young lover had been treated, enraged at the compulsion employed upon herself, she defied the colonel to his face, called him a mean wretch, and upon his offering to salute her with a kiss she spat upon him. The colonel coolly wiped his face with his handkerchief, called his servants, and having made them tie her down upon the cot in his room, ravished her on the spot, in spite of her cries and struggles. Having done this, he unbound her, for she had fainted, turned her over, and tied her again in a different position, and having put a bolster under her belly to raise her posteriors well up, the cruel man administered a severe castigation with a rattan; then making her put on her clothes, he kicked her into the street. Poor Lillias managed to crawl as far as Mr A-, the District Magistrate, and told her story; a surgeon was sent for, who examined her, and the whole matter was reported to government.
Meantime Mrs Aventura, having heard how her pupil had been abused, decamped in the night with all her money and jewels, and was never more heard of. As for the colonel he was brought to a court-martial, and having first been dismissed the service, was then transported for seven years by the civil judge for the rape and assault. Lillias went back to her friends.
I read the whole affair in the newspapers at the time, and soon forgot the adventure, in the gaieties of Cannanore. My reputation had preceded me, and on my arrival I found myself caressed by all the ladies, and my society sought after by the men. I had a happy knack of telling a droll story and could set a whole mess table in a roar at something I had said, without allowing any smile to appear on my own lips. It is a great secret in telling a funny anecdote, or giving vent to a witticism, for so sure as the narrator or wit smiles at his own joke, his listeners will compose their countenances into gravity, and if he adds, as some really witty fellows do, 'Not bad that, eh?' then woe to him, he will at once be voted a bore, and never more listened to.
I now commenced a regular course of fucking with native women. The usual charge for the general run of them is two rupees. For five, you may have the handsomest Mohammedan girls, and any of the high-caste women who follow the trade of courtesan. The 'fivers' are a very different set of people from their frail sisterhood in European countries; they do not drink, they are scrupulously cleanly in their persons, they are sumptuously dressed, they wear the most costly jewels in profusion, they are well educated, and sing sweetly, accompanying their voices on the viola da gamba, a sort of guitar, they generally decorate their hair with clusters of clematis or the sweet-scented bilwa flowers entwined with pearls or diamonds. They understand in perfection all the arts and wiles of love, are capable of gratifying any tastes, and in face and figure they are unsurpassed by any women in the world.
They have one custom that seems singular to a European — they not only shave the mons Veneris, but take a clean sweep underneath it, so that until you glance at their hard, full and enchanting breasts, handsome beyond compare, you fancy you have got hold of some unfledged girl.
The Rajpootanee girls pluck out the hairs as they appear with a pair of tweezers, as the ancient Greek women did, and this I think a very preferable process to the shaving.
It is impossible to describe the enjoyment I experienced in the arms of these sirens. I have had English, French, German and Polish women of all grades of society since, but never, never did they bear a comparison with those salacious, succulent houris of the Far East.
But although immersed in this voluptuous debauchery, I did not entirely neglect my fair countrywomen. I found time to go to balls, routs and dinner parties; I found time even for hunting and shooting, and studying the language and dialects of the country.
What an exciting, jovial life it was!
Amongst the ladies of the cantonment was one who more particularly took my fancy: she was the wife of a Major T-, of HM's — th Dragoons, a lovely blue-eyed blonde of twenty-two, blooming and fresh as a daisy. Her husband was sixty if he was a day, and most incontestably to prove himself an ass, had married her from a Hammersmith boarding school, some five years before, that is, when she was seventeen. She had then seen nothing of the world, and hardly knew what love was. But the major was her guardian, and thus secured to himself both her person and fortune, which was considerable. To this sweet creature I paid such marked attention that we soon understood one another. She the more readily accepted the intrigue as my extremely youthful appearance, to a certain extent, disarmed scandal, and she wished to draw off from the public eye her real cavaliere servente, Captain M-, by whom she had had a child, which passed for the major's. Indeed, Major T- was very fond of the little fellow, and devoutly believed he was of his own begetting. But all this I found out afterwards.
The major was a great invalid, and had a separate room, but seldom essaying to perform his marital duties, and signally failing when he did try. This was the state of things when I set my wits to work how I might seduce this beautiful, but artful woman. I used to pass hours at her house nearly every day, hold the silk she wished to wind, turn the leaves of her music book while she played or sang at the piano, and make sketches in her album, and everything that lovers could say to each other we had said. I had had my hand down her breasts and up her clothes many times, and she would sit with me on a sofa in the darkened room (all the apartments being kept very dark in India to keep them cool), with her hand in my trousers, manipulating for half an hour at a time.
Occasionally the poor major would look in, seem pleased to find me there, instead of Captain M- (whose presence always made him uneasy, I could not tell why, as he was not of a jealous nature), and would accost me with, 'Ah, young S- there you are again, making love to my wife, you young dog!' and he would laugh good-naturedly, and slap me on the back, and wily Mrs T- would say, 'Oh yes, he's a good little boy, and as long as he is so he shall be my knight and wear my colours.' Poor old major, if he had only known, but he did not know, and hadn't the shadow of a suspicion of me! Tant mieux.
Now it happened that one day I had dropped in as usual, when Mrs T- told me, with an arch look, that the major was gone down to the Presidency on an affair of business and would not be back for a week, and that, it being the native festival of Huli, she had allowed all her servants to go and see the show, except the gardener, whom she would now tell to deny her to any visitors who might call.
She went on to the verandah and gave him orders and returned to me. I threw myself into her arms.
'Not yet, not yet! my dear boy,' said she. 'I must first go over the bungalow and see if those rascals have fastened the doors and jalousies, for in their absence some scoundrel might enter the premises and rob the house, and — and — ' she burst into a laugh.
'We might be surprised,' said I, completing the sentence.
'Good,' said she, 'that is just what I mean.'
We secured the jalousies and doors, and carefully searched all the rooms. Satisfied that all was safe, I went with her into her chamber, when, having double-locked the door, 'Now, my dear love,'
said she, 'do what you like, I am all your own!' In a minute we were both naked, sporting on the bed.
Then for the first time I had a full expansive view of that lovely woman. I revelled in the woman's cunt with its luxurious fringe of fair locks that curled above, on the sides, and beneath it. I never saw so much hair on a woman before; she had quite a forest under her arms. It was a novelty to me, and pleased me; I entwined my fingers in it, I combed and parted it, and overcome by an irresistible lust, ended by gamahuching her, to her great delight. I had so wriggled about, that at length I got astride of her with my rear pressed down on her glorious great bubbies, and felt them rise and fall as they panted with desire. Presently she grasped my thighs, and raising me up, took my pestle in her mouth, and sucked it with such ardour that I feared every minute she would either bite it off or swallow it whole. Suddenly she stopped, exclaiming, 'Oh, 'tis too much! I cannot bear it another instant; turn round! put it in! fuck! fuck! do fuck me!' I lost no time in complying. Then she clasped me with such strength, she murmured forth such lascivious words, she did such lascivious things, she quite frightened me. Why this woman, said I to myself, is a perfect Messalina. We were both so wrought up that in ten minutes our climax came; gods! how she ground her teeth, how she bit, pinched, and thrust her finger up my — . And then we both lay panting, quite exhausted.
At length, recovering a little, she wiped her beautiful face with her handkerchief, saying faintly, give me the eau-de-Cologne off the dressing-table, and open a bottle of claret; you will find some in the cooler in the corner of the room.
She deluged her fair body with the eau-de-Cologne and then playfully threw a quantity over me. We soon finished the delicious cool wine, and so to bed again.
I begged her to kneel up that I might have a full view of her hinder beauties. She complied at once. Oh, what an enchanting prospect was before me. Imagine a skin white as alabaster, a slender waist, a Spanish back with a delicious fall in it, over which meandered her waving golden hair, imagine hips of enormous size terminating in a bottom the largest, the most dimpled and the whitest I had ever beheld, supported on thighs so rounded, so symmetrically proportioned, so altogether ravishingly exquisite that an angel of light could not have withstood such temptation. I stooped down and buried my face in those hills of snow, then rising up, I slipped with ease into her mossy grotto, and at it we went again. She jutted her bum out to meet my thrusts; she stretched straight out first one leg then the other; she passed her hand between her legs and felt my wand as it went in and out; she toyed with the balls of Cupid, and soon brought down another sweet shower.
'Oh, you're a man! a man!' she said, 'more charming by far than M-; he shall have me no more, sweet boy-faced fellow, I am thine for ever,' and she sank fainting on the bed.
When she had a little recovered, I asked, 'What have you done with little Jack?' (her son).
'Oh,' said she, 'Mrs B- so often asks me to let the little man pass the day with her children that I could not refuse, you know.'
'Ah I see; bright idea, wasn't it, today?'
'Very.'
'Hark! what's that,' and she sat wildly up in the bed.
'Somebody trying the door of the entrance-hall, and violently too,' said I, coolly.
'Up, quick, my love! do not wait to dress, gather up your clothes and get out of the window; run down to the border of the tank, hide yourself in the tope [grove], dress there and take the boat; flee! quick, begone.' I grasped my clothes; to unfasten the jalousie door, to spring out (fortunately we were in a one-storeyed house), to run like a madman across the lawn at the back of the house, to gain the tope, was the work of an instant, but even as I fled I heard a tremendous crash — the front doors had been burst open. But I knew her door was double-locked. I knew before the intruder could make that yield, she would have time to put the bed in order, to close the jalousies, to cast on her robe de chambre, to put out of sight the claret bottle and the glasses, and I was content. I dressed myself, and unmooring a little sailing skiff which the major kept for his diversion on the lake, I leapt in and, hoisting the sail, was soon a hundred yards from the shore. Then, indeed, I turned my head, and saw a man running at full speed down the jetty — by the time he reached it I had gained another fifty yards; he raised the gun which he carried to his shoulder and whiz, crack came a shot, slap through the sail and about a foot above my head. Well aimed, old fellow, said I jeeringly to myself, before you load again I shall be out of reach. But load again he did, and that rapidly; crack went another shot, but it only splashed harmlessly in the water, fifty paces astern of me. Well, to be sure, said I, you're a paladin, my fine fellow, whoever you are, but you're not the major, that's certain, he could never have run like that.
Concluding that my enemy would mount a horse, and gallop along the bank after me, I made for the shore at once and starting off through a belt of jungle, the track of which I knew quite well, from having often had a day's sport there, I reached my bungalow half dead with the heat, for it was barely three o'clock, the hottest part of the afternoon.
I drank some brandy and soda-water, and after I was cooled a little I took a tepid bath.
Nobody was at home but my choera, a pretty little boy about twelve years of age. This boy, Muniah his name, was very fond of me, and once when I was ill, nursed me with the greatest tenderness. 'Boy,'
I called; in the Madras Presidency all servants answer to the name of 'Boy', even if old grey-headed men. I addressed my haughty, high-caste dubash as 'boy' occasionally, just to keep him in his right place, though sometimes I called him by name, in compliment to his superior attainments and his caste. In Bengal, servants are called by, 'Qui hie?' (Who waits?)
'Boy,' said I. Muniah appeared.
'Muniah,' said I (a great compliment, he not being of high caste); he made me a low, a gratified salaam. 'Do you know where I went this morning?'
'Ho, sahib [yes sir], sahib ke jana Bhebee Sahib T- [my gentleman went to Mrs T-].'
'How do you know that?'
'I heard master tell the bearers to take palankeen there.'
'Bhote eucha [very good],' said I. 'Now mind, pay great attention to what I am going to say. If any sahib asks you where I went this morning, you must say that I have not been out, that I am not well, do you understand?' (All this in Hindustani.)
'Quite understand, sir.'
'That's all right, now brandy pawnee lao [bring some brandy and water], Argh lao [bring a light], and a cheroot.'
I lay down on my cot and smoked. Presently I heard the galloping of a horse at speed, the horse was snorting as if distressed, the rider pulled up with a jerk at the door.
'Sahib hie [is you master at home]?' roared the voice of Captain M-.
'Yes, sir.'
'When did he come in?'
'Master has not been out this morning,' said the boy, innocently.
'Not been out? You lie, you soure [pig].'
'No sir, I tell truth, sahib not well; sahib not been out at all since yesterday.'
'Very odd,' said M-, in English, 'can I see him?'
'Hullo! is that you M-?' said I, from within, 'come in, old fellow, glad to see you.'
He entered, he looked heated and troubled, and was covered with dust and his horse's foam.
He beheld me in an immaculate clean cambric shirt, and striped silk pajamahs, languidly lolling on my cot, smoking, my face pale and unheated. He was evidently staggered.
'And you really have not been out this morning, S-.'
'Out, by Jove! what should I go out for in this broiling sun, and I as seedy as be damned. Oh, those blasted fellows of the — th Dragoons, they sewed me up damnably with their bad wine. In "our service", you know, old fellow, we always give our guests good wine.' (The king's officers were always sneering at the company's, and used to say in "our service" we do so and so, but then we are royal regiments, who serve a crowned head, and not a lot of beastly merchants.) M- winced, and bit his lip. I surveyed him with the utmost nonchalance, from head to foot; he was a powerful man, and could have made mincemeat of me in a moment.
'But, my dear fellow,' said I, affecting a fashionable drawl, 'what the devil's the matter with you, you look so deucedly excited, is anything up?'
'Up! Yes, by God, something is up!' cried M-, dashing his fist down on the table, 'and curse me if I don't fathom it.'
'Ah, weally!' said I, with the most imperturbable coolness as I blew out a cloud of smoke, 'try a cheroot, old fellar!' and I handed him my case.
M- took the case and lit a cheroot; while pulling at it he suddenly raised his eyes; they met mine. What he read there I don't know, but he gazed at me long and fixedly, without saying a word.
'Now is the time of trial,' thought I, and I continued steadily to meet his threatening fierce eye, with an expression half curious, half languid, my brows slightly raised, and a cynic smile (I felt it must be cynic) on my lips, from which ever and anon issued volumes of smoke.
'Damn it,' cried M-, 'either you are really seedy, and have not been out of your bungalow, as you say, or you are the most perfect specimen of duplicity and coolness I ever met.'
'You flatter me,' said I, with a faint smile.
'Flatter you! by Jove! Look here, old fellar, if you have been out of the house, you have been to Mrs T-'s, and if I thought you had been there, I'd kill you,' he roared fiercely.
'Now, my dear M-, pray talk any rhapsody you please, but have a little mercy on my nerves!'
said I, coolly, but to say truth I was in a most damnable funk.
'Then you really have not been out today?' said he, cooling down a little.
'Captain M-,' said I, rising, and making him a bow, 'when I tell a gentleman one thing, I don't mean another. If you think I'm a liar, say so like a man, and I shall know how to avenge myself for the insult!' and I bent upon him a look so fierce and defiant, that the strong man cast down his eyes; in the boy of seventeen he had found his match.
'But, sir,' I went on, 'as you have done me the honour to mention the name of that most virtuous lady, whose husband's friend I am, may I be permitted to enquire, Suppose I had been there this morning, what business is it of yours? You are not her husband, or the friend of her husband — nay he detests you — and I tell you, as a friend, that it is currently reported you are the father of her child.
Now, mind you, I pry into no man's secrets, it's nothing to me one way or the other, but if you, undermining the affections of that lady for her husband, have seduced her, very ill it becomes you to fall foul of any lovers, other than yourself, that she may have. You have seemed to imply that I am one; look upon me, look upon yourself,' and I pointed to a mirror, 'would a woman who would choose a stalwart like you, condescend to a mere boy like me?'
He seemed convinced, and took leave, saying, 'Forgive me, S-; I am sorry I offended you, but you don't know how much I love that woman.'
'My dear M-, she has deceived her old, confiding husband and, believe me, she will deceive you; there are no bounds to women; when once they fall — they fall, there's no chaining them up, it's the common lot! Good-morning. Oh! by George, how precious hot it is,' and I ran in from the verandah.
He galloped off in the sun. 'Now that fellow will run his thick head against a stone wall, and get the poor woman into trouble, by Jove, he will,' thought I.