I check into Le Petit Hotel on Chartres Street. I am exhausted and need the feeling of fresh cool sheets against my skin. I undress and splash my face with warm water. I pull the drapes against the grey dawn light. I sleep a long dreamless sleep.
Sometime in the twilight before fully waking, I decide. I don't remember exactly when. I only know that when I sit up in bed I am calm, knowing what I'm going to do. My body is clammy and cold, as the feeling of the house on Dauphine Street still oozes out of me. But my mind is clear. I get up, move about the room with purpose. I take a hot bath. I study my face in the mirror.
The train pulls north from New Orleans. I sit up straight in the red velvet seat. The seat next to mine is empty except for my small suitcase. There aren't many passengers in my car. The trip along the river seems to take forever. I try to read but can't keep my mind on it. My body is trembling. I watch the river out the window. I see river birds swooping low over the water.
"Cairo…" I jump at the sound of the conductor's voice. I rub away the moistness from a spot on the window. The train pulls into the station. Slows. Comes to a stop in the midst of noise and traffic.
I change to the bus. It rolls out of Cairo north across the flat land of Illinois. My chest starts to tighten as we near Orchard Center. I think of just taking the next bus back. Too much time has passed. a dozen years. I will feel awkward. I won't know what to say. My head pounds.
I find out where he works from a directory at the bus station. I think of phoning, then decide to take a cab directly there instead.
I sit stiffly in a paneled thickly carpeted office while his secretary talks to him on the phone. The sign on his door says: Keith Brady, Vice President. The sign is gold. I can hear the whirr of an air conditioner.
"Mr. Brady will see you right away," the secretary says, surprise in he voice.
"Thank you." I get up and walk to the paneled door. I turn the big brass knob and enter.
Keith is already rising from behind a long desk at the opposite side of the room. "Carrie… I just couldn't believe it when she gave me your name."
"Hello," I say. The first thing I notice about him is the trace of grey in his temples. He is smiling but looks puzzled.
We step toward each other, stop when we are a few feet apart. Neither of us speak for a moment. I am very nervous but trying hard not to show it. "I was in Cairo," I say. "… decided to take the bus up and say hello." I force a laugh. "I see you're the vice president here or something."
He smiles again. "It doesn't mean that much. There are four of us."
"…oh."
He offers me a chair and I sit down. The chair is comfortable, leather-covered. Keith sits down in a chair across, from me. He leans forward to light my cigarette but doesn't smoke one himself. "… quit," he says. He fidgets with his hands. "I wish though now I hadn't."
I laugh. His comment, his slight nervousness relaxes me. Then as I think more about it I feel sparks shoot through me. I begin to talk rapidly, complimenting him on his office, the furniture, the thickness of the carpet. "I'm kind of surprised though to find you working in a place like this… a business… a factory, you know. I always imagined you someplace more out in the open… a farm… something like that."
The muscles of his face tighten. He freezes up. "Things change," he says. His voice is cool. He gets up and walks across the room, turns his back on me. He stares at the paneled wall.
"I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't mean it to sound critical. I think it's fine, your being a vice president and all."
"All of it changes… everything," he goes on as if he hasn't even heard. "You get into it in a way you hadn't planned 'and you get pushed on and on." He turns to face me again. His mouth is drawn tight. I feel everything crashing down before it has even really started. He leans on a table, his hands pressing down. Pale, almost yellowish hands. Hands I do not know.
I see an elaborate pen and pencil set on the table with an inscription that I can't make out. Next to it is a colored photo of a woman and two children. The woman is very attractive. She stares out at me, chills me.
"My family," he says. "You knew of course, didn't you?"
"Not really. But I suppose I might have guessed it.
It would have been even more surprising to find out you'd never… you know…"
"You're not married?" he says.
"Yes… in a way. But I have no family. I don't live with him."
"I'm sorry…"
"Don't be. It wasn't a good match from the start."
He doesn't say anything back. He turns away again. He rubs his chin. He looks very tired.
I feel suddenly as if there is a great distance between us. As if I am not in the same room with him at all. The woman in the picture glares out at me. I begin to feel foolish standing here. An outsider. Alone. Out of my place and time. It has all been a mistake coming here. I no longer know him. There is nothing for me to do now except to say good bye and leave.
He whirls toward me suddenly. The expression on his face has changed. His eyes burn into mine. He looks vital, intense. The lines around his eyes seem to melt away as he steps toward me. The space between us is charged with electricity. He reaches out for my hand. Our fingers intertwine. His hand is cool. He pulls me to my feet. "Carrie…"
I touch the light growth of beard on his cheek. Our arms go around each other.. He crushes his body against mine, kisses me. The years retreat again. I am in a barn in the loft. The glass in the window is broken out. I feel Keith's hands on my breasts. My nipples come alive. He finds the tip of one of them… presses his thumb in firm against it. His other hand moves down over my waist and buttocks to the back of my thighs. I feel the fullness of his cock pushing against my skirt. I arch my back and thrust myself up against him.
His hand moves over my hips, seeks my pussy. He strokes me there on the outside of my skirt. I rub his big cock through his trousers. I feel the beautiful explosion building inside of me. It is no ordinary excitement. It is the feeling of a dozen years waiting. It is exquisite, engulfs me. Keith has my skirt up over my stomach now. His prick pushes hard against my panties. I hunger for the touch of his bade skin on mine.
"We can't here…" he says.
"Shall we go then?"
"Yes… where?"
"It doesn't make any difference, does it?"
"No. Anywhere."
We leave my suitcase in the waiting room and go out the back door. Keith says he'll get it for me later. His car is large, dark blue, with heavy black upholstery. He drives through the narrow gate between the stretches of fence, then turns up the highway. In minutes his office is far behind. We speed through the countryside. He turns off onto a narrow country road, slows the car until we are barely moving.
He smiles over at me. "Aren't you going to come closer?"
I laugh a little. "Sure… I was just waiting for you to ask." I slide over next to him, put my arm around his shoulder. I stroke the soft growth of hair on the back of his neck. I kiss his cheek. He puts one of his hands on my thigh. I grasp it and pull it up to my pussy.
He turns off the road and stops the car in an open spot in the middle of a cluster of trees; He kisses me. He puts his hand on my knee beneath my skirt and my thighs separate. My cunt aches for his touch. His fingers reach my panties, slip underneath them. His hands are cool, firm against my smooth skin. I pat the big bulge in his trousers, then unzip him. My hand finds his thick cock. For a moment I can't believe that it is really Keith I am holding again like this. I look down at his prick after I get it out of his pants. It makes me feel hot all over to stroke it and look at it. I want to kiss it.
I slide back slightly on the seat and bend forward, pressing my lips down against his cockhead. I mouth him gently. I tongue him. I suck his cock deep into my mouth. He keeps caressing my pussy, separating my thickening wet sex lips with his fingers. I eat him. I love the good taste of him in my mouth. I gorge myself with him.
His body suddenly tenses. His hips jerk as he tries to hold on. I slide his cock quickly out of my mouth and sit up. I kiss him. His lips are cool, parted. We hold the kiss for a moment, then sit back.
Keith laughs quietly. "I thought for a minute you were going to finish me…" He strokes my pussy.
"That's why I stopped. I didn't want it to end from that."
"Let's go for a walk… stretch our legs a bit."
"All right… I wish you didn't have to take your hand away from me though."
"I won't. I'll keep my arm around you like this… okay?"
"Yes."
We stand in a spot of sun on a small rise about twenty feet from the car. The grass is thick. The area around us is in deep shade from the oaks.
Keith kisses me. His tongue presses wet against mine. He steps back, unbuttons my suit coat, then my blouse. He unhooks my bra. His cool hands cup my breasts.
"I thought we were going for a walk," I laugh.
"No hurry about that, is there?"
"No, I like it here. The sun feels nice… and your hands."
"Look at that squirrel up there staring down at us."
I glance up. A red squirrel is gripping the trunk of an oak upside down ten feet above us. He stares down with beady eyes. "He thinks we're invading his territory," I say. "… mmm I like your hands on me there. It excites me, makes me shiver so."
His fingertips play across my rigid nipples. "I want to see you too, Carrie," he says. "… to look at you while I hold you. It's been so long."
"Yes…"
We peel off my suit jacket and blouse and hang them over a low branch of the oak. He takes off my bra. I stand in front of him naked from the waist up. He looks at me, touches the points of my breasts. His eyes drink me in. "You're beautiful, Carrie… as beautiful as ever." He bends down, kisses my breasts. My body sings out. I hold the back of his head while he sucks my nipples. For a moment it seems as if he is a little boy feasting on me. I ache deep as the feelings of the lost years flow through me.
Keith lifts my skirt and rubs the naked wetness of my pussy. I unbutton his shirt, yank it out of his trousers and pull it almost up to his armpits. I press my breasts in against the bare skin and muscle of his chest. I unzip his pants and get out his cock again. I pull it against my thighs, tug down on my panties. The tip of his prick pushes against my cunt lips. I am eager for all of him now and I want him to fuck me. I kiss him, cling to him. The fire inside me leaps into flame. The stabbing aching hunger burns all through me.
He pushes his cock up into my pussy. We fuck standing up. His prick is hard steel. My cunt envelops it, grips it. He backs me up against the same tree where a few minutes before we saw the squirrel. I feel the rough bark against my back as he fucks me. I love the roughness, the hardness pushing at me from two directions. He lifts me up as he screws me until my feet are entirely off the ground. I hang there pinned against the bark by his prick. We cum…
We straighten our clothes. I get my bra and blouse from the tree branch and put them back on. I glance up and see the squirrel. "Look, our friend is still here," I say. Keith laughs. We walk slowly back to the car, our arms around each other.
We drive through the countryside along the back roads. I sit up close to Keith, my arm on his shoulder. I caress the hard curve of his jaw with my fingers.
We pass by a farm. "Recognize that…?" Keith asks.
I look closer. A strange bittersweet sensation comes over me. "Yes…" I say. "It looks almost the same, doesn't it? Shall we stop?"
Keith shakes his head. "Someone lives there now." "… oh"
I see the name on the mailbox as we go by Schmidt. Or Schmitz. Something like that. There is a girl swinging on an old tire near the house. She looks about eighteen. She gazes at us as we go by The barn looks as if it has been freshly painted. I turn away, then glance back as we go over the next hill but the barn and the farmhouse are already gone.
I feel wistful, empty. Keith gets back onto the main highway, drives rapidly. I have no idea where he is going. The sun is low in the sky now and reflects off the metal of the car into our eyes. I lay my head on Keith's shoulder. The images of the barn and the girl swinging keep passing in front of my closed eyes.
We pull up to a large motel near the edge of some town. Keith says he'll get a room for me. "You can sign the register later," he says. "I'll tell the room clerk you're not feeling well right now."
The room is lovely, with two double beds. The drapes and bedspreads are a soft green. I open the drapes a little to let in the rays of the setting sun.
We undress and lie naked on the bed. We kiss and fondle each other. I explore every muscle, every curve of Keith's body. I thrill to the touch of his hands on my skin. The wetness flows thick from my pussy as he strokes me. I pump his prick until it hardens, then rub the big head of it against my thighs. He caresses my breasts, runs his fingertips delightfully over my nipples. I enjoy playing with his prick, fondling it. I feel no need to have him screw me right away again. It is enough now to be just lying here with him. Touching him. I keep rubbing his cock. A drop of clear fluid appears at the tiny opening. With my thumb I spread the drop over the entire tip. Massage it into his skin. His cock stiffens suddenly into full hardness. The head flares out big and reddish. The purple veins swell.
I watch his cock gorge itself with his blood. I cannot resist the urge to eat him again and slide down on the bed and take the full hardness of his prick deep into my mouth.
I get up on my knees, bend over him and suck his prick in deep. It hardens to steel. I feel it throbbing in my mouth. I stop eating him for a minute so that he doesn't cum. I sit back on my legs and light a cigarette and puff it lightly while I run my hand slowly up and down his thighs.
He gets up to get a drink of water. "Want some?" he asks.
"Yes."
He comes back across the room, stands next to the bed, his erect prick in front of my face. I kiss it again, lick the tip.
"You do that marvelously," he says. "Better than I remember from before." He holds the cold glass of water against one of my breasts.
"I'm older now…"
He laughs. "More experienced?"
"I didn't say that. Just older… not so shy." I kiss his cock again, lift the weight of his balls in my hands. I take the glass of water and drink from it. It doesn't take away the good taste of him.
He presses forward, pushing his prick against my breasts. He stands there, not moving.
"Aren't we going to do it now again?" I ask.
"So soon?"
"Mmm hmm. You're so nice and stiff." I stroke the length of his cock. I rub the wet cockhead against my nipple. "Or do you want to kiss me down here first… eat me?"
"Yes."
He kneels down on the carpet in front of me as I lie back and slide my buttocks up to the edge of the mattress. I draw my knees back, dig my heels into the edge of the bed. He presses his lips to the wet puff of hair on my pussy. I feel his tongue slip in against my moist skin. He eats me up and down the length of my cunt. I want him to bite me, devour me.
I feel Keith's tongue in me. I cum.
A few minutes pass. I am awake with excitement again. Keith is lying on the bed next to me. I grasp his cock and pump the stiffness back into it. I want him to fuck me. I pull him over on top of me, spread my legs and wrap my calves around the flat hard cheeks of his ass. I feel his prick plunge in. He fucks me urgently until he brings me to a peak. We rest for a moment, then I get up on my knees and he fucks me from behind. My cunt grips him tightly. When I cum again, he backs off and pulls me from the bed. He screws me standing up with one of my feet on the edge of the bed. After a minute he sits down on the mattress and I climb on top of him. I ride his cock. I like it this way. I can kiss him. He can suck my breasts. His prick penetrates deep into me.
I abandon my body completely to him. We stop screwing, swing around on the bed and eat each other again. His prick is thick and very wet. The juices from my cunt stream into his mouth. He gets up and sits astride my chest and pulls my breasts together with his hands. He drives his prick between them, fucks them. I am dry there at first but my skin moistens quickly and in a moment his prick is sliding smoothly in and out of the cunt he has made with my breasts. He slides up even farther on me and pushes his cock against my jaw, my cheek, my ear. He wraps a curl of my hair around his prick and rubs it against my neck. Then he moves down quickly over me and rams into my cunt again. His thrusts are violent. It is as if he is trying to cram a lifetime of fucking into a few minutes. I hear him cry out suddenly and I know he is about to cum.
I buck up against him. "… oh yes… I love you Keith… I love you in me… all of you inside me, oh now now…"
He explodes. His cum spurts thick and wet into my cunt. "Carrie. Carrie… Carrie." His voice is urgent, husky… trails off weak. He flops forward on top of me. I hear him calling out my name. His voice sounds as if it is coming from a long way off.
"Carrie…"