"I have to leave now," Keith says. The tone of his voice is abrupt and it rouses me from sleep. Gone completely is the emotion of a few minutes before. He pulls up his pants and zips them. He knots his tie.
"I thought you'd be staying," I say. "We haven't really even talked about things. You can stay for awhile at least, can't you?"
"No… really. I have to go. I'll have to think up some explanation as it is. We can talk later."
"When?"
"The next time – you know."
"Tomorrow?"
"Maybe. We'll see. I'll have to bring your suitcase. I'll call you… okay? After I leave, you can go down and register. Then get yourself some supper in the dining room. Do you have enough money?"
"Certainly," I say.
"You aren't angry, are you?"
"No."
"You act as if something's wrong."
"No… It's just that you make me feel like a prostitute or something. The way you're leaving in such a rush. The things you say."
His face softens. He comes over to me and runs his hand through my hair. "I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean anything that way. We can talk about it all later. I'll call tomorrow. It's just that now I have to go. You understand, don't you?"
I nod.
He kisses me, cups my breasts lightly for a moment, then starts for the door. I try to smile.
In a moment he is gone. I hear the sound of the car motor starting. I hold the drape open and watch him drive away. He doesn't look back.
I crawl into bed tired and feeling very much alone. Depressed. I shut my eyes and try to see the vivid colors. I try to bring back the moments under the tree, the moments on this same bed just half an hour ago. But already they seem somewhere in the distant past. Indistinct. Impossible to grasp….
I wake early the next morning and take a hot shower. I feel much better in the brightness of the new day. I am hungry from not having eaten supper the night before and have a big breakfast in the dining room, then go to sign the register. I buy cigarettes and a newspaper and go back to the room to wait for Keith's call. The morning sun streaming through the window feels good on my skin. I relax on the bed, feeling warm and happy.
I wait the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. The phone doesn't ring. I smoke a lot.
There is a quiet knock at the door. I am surprised to see Keith standing there when I open it. "I decided to just run out instead of calling," he says. "But I have to leave at four."
I glance at my watch as he hands me my suitcase. "Yes… that gives us almost two hours." I don't say it sarcastically, just matter-of-factly. As if I am resigned to it. Already it seems that it is nearly time for him to go.
Keith acts very sober. I feel awkward. I want to talk to him about everything but he doesn't give me the chance. He avoids it. Every time I start in on anything about us he changes the subject. We talk about everything. And nothing. He looks at me with affection but says none of the things I am waiting to hear. He acts nervous. The conversation becomes stale, repetitive.
I try to change all that. "We're kind of wasting our time, aren't we," I say laughing. "I mean if you have to go so soon…" I reach behind my back for the zipper of my blouse, pull down on it.
In moments we are on the bed caressing each other and wrestling playfully. The nervousness goes out of him. The lines leave his face. We strip off each other's clothes and kick them onto the floor. My cunt is wet and his prick slides smoothly in. It is slow, delicious with him. After a few minutes we stop to rest. We stretch our naked bodies out against each other. He strokes my breasts, kisses them. I take his prick and stuff it back into my cunt. His hard smoothness moves rhythmically in and out of me. I posh back against him. It is as if we have been fucking each other for years. I climax just as I feel his cum shoot into me. My body glows as he covers my face, my neck, my breasts with deep long kisses.
"That was nice," I say. "… wonderful."
"Yes…"
I glance at him. His eyes are shut. We rest.
It is Thursday, the sixth day I've been at the motel. Keith is standing at the dresser mixing us drinks. I am on the bed in my bra and panties. He is wearing just his shorts. He's been here about an hour. We've been kissing, petting, talking. Earlier I tried to get him to take me for a ride. "Maybe we could drive by the farm again… like we did the first day."
"No point in that. Not with other people living there now. Let's just stay here in the roam… it's pleasant here… comfortable."
He brings me my drink. I thank him and take a long swallow, letting an ice cube press against my lip. I wish I could get him to talk to me, really talk to me. But when I start saying something about how things were a dozen years ago, he freezes up… a shadow seems to cross his face. Each day it is more and more this way. He is obviously nervous, upset. If only he could just open himself up to me a little, I would have a chance to bring it all back, to start it over again.
The only time I feel really close to him is when he fucks me. Then, sometimes, for a minute it all seems to come back as I hear him crying out my name. Carrie… Carrie… But the moment is lost with the explosion of his cum and then we become strangers once more until the excitement of our naked bodies joining again brings it all back.
"Carrie, I'm sorry, I know we had plans… but this weekend I have to take my family to our cottage. We have one on Loon Lake. But I'll see you again Monday. It's just that I have to. You understand, don't you?"
"Yes, Keith… I understand…"
His face breaks into a smile. "Well good…" he says. He takes a sip of his drink, sets his glass on the table, moves toward me, kisses me, gropes for my breasts. I take off my bra. He moves his hands eagerly over my breasts and nipples. I can see his prick straining against his shorts. I reach in for him and bring out his cock. I look at it and stroke his penis.
I kiss it. I slide my half-open mouth along the shaft, holding it between my lips. I press my tongue against the hot shaft. I fondle his balls and rub the firm length of his cock. I talk to him with my hands. We fuck…