Tuesday April 1st 2008
Ha, bloody, ha. The little shit that I fought with pulled an April Fool on me today. He got the head of maintenance to call me in. Technically the head of maintenance is my boss although I never really see him — mostly I’m on nights and he does days.
His name is Tam Kettering and he has been in the hotel business since birth. We’ve been having major problems with the plumbing on the top floor — six rooms are out of operation and the GM has been on Tam’s neck to get it fixed.
What I didn’t know was that they had just solved the problem and Tam was now the GM’s best friend. As such he was in an unusually good mood when I rolled up.
‘Ah there you are. Look, the plumbing on the top floor is still a bit dodgy and we’re short of some spares. Terry (his number 2) is up to his armpits in work. Can you give the suppliers a call and order up this list? Start at the top and make it clear we need the stuff ASAP.’
He handed me a bit of paper and I was dismissed. I went into the back office and put the list on the table. They had the gig well planned and as I finished dialling Tam re-appeared. He told me to be double quick and I missed the greeting from the person on the other end.
‘Hello this is the Excelsior Hotel here.’ I started. ‘I’ve been told I need to place an order for fourteen seals. It’s urgent.’
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line and then the girl asked me to repeat what I had said.
‘Seals. Fourteen. It says here you’ll know what type but we need them quickly.’
Too late I heard laugher from the corridor — a lot of laughter.
‘Sorry sir but I’m not sure I can help. You do realise you are through to Edinburgh Zoo.’
I slammed down the phone and outside the door sounded like the audience at the funniest show on earth. I stormed out. There were at least eight in the corridor including the little shit.
Seals. Zoo. Ha, bloody, ha.