I worked my way onto Race Street and headed east over the Ben Franklin and into New Jersey. The water in the Delaware River looked steel gray. The heater in the rental was still not caught up and I could imagine how cold the water was running below and the thought made me shiver.
Contrary to widely held and denigrating opinions of the depressed city of Camden, the sky does not grow instantly darker over there. It held the same shade of light shale, but without as many towers and skyscrapers to break up the monotony. I took the Admiral Wilson and spiraled through the next interchange to get on the Marlton Turnpike. From there I used the driving directions Mrs. Mott had read me over the phone. By the time I found the Majestic Ice Arena I was late for my appointment with Colin O'Shea's ex-wife.
It took another ten minutes to find a parking spot between all the SUVs and minivans. Inside the corrugated metal building the temperature difference was negligible. I could still see my breath as I walked the front aisle between the protective glass of the rink and the rising stands. On the ice was a haphazard spray of tiny hockey players shuffling in various directions and trying to keep their balance with their sticks. I worked my way toward a group of women who were only occasionally interrupting their conversations with a "Good job, Jimmy!" or "That's OK, Paul. Get up!"
I stood for a full minute in their view and was one step from going up to announce myself to the entire group when she stood and made her way down the stands.
"Mr. Freeman?"
"Janice?" I said, extending my hand. Hers was covered with a knit mitten and I shook it. "I'm sorry I didn't give you a description over the phone so you would know what I looked like."
"You look like a cop," she said, and I looked into her face to see if that agitated her.
"With a tan," she added and tried to smile.
I showed her my ID and P.I. license.
"Should we wait until your son is done?" I said, nodding out to the ice.
"Hell, no. They'll be out there another forty minutes," she said and pointed back toward the entrance. "Let's go have coffee."
I liked her already.
We sat at a table in a small snack bar area, both of us with our hands wrapped around large Styrofoam cups of steaming coffee. Kids were running in and out for pizza and sodas and candy and screeching and laughing and arguing. The chaos didn't seem to faze her. It was giving me a monumental headache.
"You said you were a friend of Colin's?" she started.
"We worked District Ten around the same time. He grew up near Eighth and Tasker and my parents were down around Snyder."
"Eighth and Mountain," she said.
"Excuse me?"
"Colin was Eighth and Mountain. My family lived a couple blocks away, on Cross."
"Ah, South Philly girl," I said, trying to soften her face. I was guessing mid-thirties. Her hair was still black and her dark eyes had a hardness that appeared to have been earned. She was wearing tasteful makeup in the middle of a school week and had on the reddest lipstick I think I've ever seen. It marked the edge of her cup with a heavy stain.
"Janice Carlucci," she said. "My maiden name. I met Colin when we were kids. I was told to stay away from the Irish so, go figure. I do exactly what my Italian parents say I can't do." She shrugged. "Shakespeare. Ya know?"
"I'm familiar," I said, sipping my coffee, letting her go.
"We got married after he passed the academy. If you're from the neighborhood, you know. Cop, fireman, your father's plumbing business. Job for life."
She was right, I just didn't like the condescension in her voice.
"It wasn't exactly what you wanted," I said.
She shook her head.
"I matured, Mr. Freeman. I saw something on the other side of the river." She raised her palm.
When she'd taken her mittens off I'd ranked the rock on her finger. It was practically up there with Meagan's. I'd already noted the expensive, fur-lined coat.
"Colin was stuck between proving himself in South Philly, being the tough Irish cop, or getting the hell out, go to college, be something more. Or, no offense, Mr. Freeman, be something different," she said.
"He ever take that frustration out on you?" I asked, since bluntness seemed to be the order of the day. She held me with her dark eyes for a few moments.
"I'd heard he was an ass-kicker on the streets," she said. "You know, the guys sittin' around McLaughlin's or in the kitchen on poker night, braggin' an' all.
"But never with me, Mr. Freeman. Yes, I filed the damn domestic charge. Because Colin wouldn't see anybody, not a counselor, not an AA group. He was letting his life rot and mine was going down with it. It was abuse."
I let her stare into her coffee. She didn't want to look up at me to reveal the moisture that was in her eyes. It was something I could never figure in women, that range of emotion, pissed and sympathetic, disarming and ruthless, heartbroken and heart-breaking, one to the other in a dumbfounding span of minutes.
"Then they used it against him," she said and left the statement sitting out there like the steam in the air. I waited until another pack of clomping skaters went by.
"When Faith Hamlin went missing?" I said, catching up to her.
She nodded her head.
"They put it in the papers that Colin had already been accused of beating me when we were married, that he had a history. So of course he must have been in on what those guys did to that girl."
Out on the rink a horn sounded. A smattering of applause. My time was running out.
"Mrs. Mott, the authorities in Florida are linking Colin with the abduction and disappearance of at least a couple of women," I said.
As the words left my mouth she started shaking her head no.
"Do you think he's capable of something like that? Or could have become capable?"
When she looked up at me, the dry hardness was back in her dark eyes. Just like that, tough Philly girl coming right back.
"No way," she said. "Not the man I knew. Colin was never the kind who ever did something vicious without someone else to see it, to prove that he could do it to measure up, to prove he was as tough as the rest of you. He was always after that approval, from me, from his family. But on his own, push come to shove Mr. Freeman, he was a coward."
She drained her coffee like she meant it.
"You're a cop. You're talking about somebody with the balls to steal somebody's life, to kill them for some sick reason. That's what you're saying, right?"
"Yeah," I said, finding it hard to hold her look.
"I don't want to speak badly about Colin, but he is what he is. I lived with him, I know. A man like Colin just doesn't have what you're talking about in him."
"Did you tell that to the investigators on the Hamlin case?" I said.
"Who? IAD? Sure I told them, while they were interviewing me about any hideaways in the Poconos where Colin might be hiding or some shit. You think that made it into their report, Mr. Freeman?"
The horn sounded again and vibrated through the building. End of the period.
"I gotta get Michael," she said, hooking her thumb.
"I thank you for your time, Mrs. Mott."
"Not a problem," she said, shrugging her shoulders like the South Philly girl she'd always be.
"One thing, though," she said, pulling on her mittens and raising her voice over the growing din of ice time switching. "If you see Colin again, Mr. Freeman, tell him I wish him the best, you know? He's got a lot to answer for. But this isn't one of them." When I crossed back over the bridge into the city, lights were flickering on in the dusk. After dinner I walked from Gaskill a few blocks to the First Methodist Church and stood on the cold sidewalk outside looking at the weathered stone and mortar and the dull stained glass. Despite its old heavy architecture its spire still rose into the night with the majesty intended by its builders. It was in the basement of this church that Billy's and my mothers had met and formed an unlikely friendship and insidious plan. On pre-dawn Sunday mornings they prepared the early coffee and breakfast reception and shared their similar secrets. Then they conspired to kill my abusive father and my mother carried it out. After decades of shame and pain she gained her freedom. Then within a few years she herself was dead. Following her wishes she was cremated and her sisters-in- law still only whispered her name. She refused to lie next to the body of my father and carry the lie into eternity. But she had suppressed her own basic human need to have control over her life and took it in death, a measure of justice to keep her warm.