‘Right, guys, you can do whatever you like, just don’t move anything, don’t break anything and don’t get sick on anything,’ said David Mulvey as he dropped a bag of tortilla chips on to the mahogany coffee table. From the leather couch, I looked around the enormous sitting room. It resembled a small ballroom, with its dark red walls, smooth wooden floor and crystal chandelier suspended from the high ceiling. The décor was surely the work of an interior designer. It was wonderfully elaborate and everything matched perfectly. His house was probably the biggest in Avarna. On the walk down I’d learned from Colin that it had six bedrooms, three bathrooms, a Jacuzzi in the basement and a tennis court out the back. I carefully lifted my can of cider, terrified of spilling it. I now understood why David had been reluctant to have a party. There were so many things that could get broken.
Nick was slouched in an armchair. His head was resting against one of his hands and he was staring at the TV in a kind of trance. He looked hotter than ever in a white Undertones T-shirt. Colin sat cross-legged on the red rug on the floor, his fingers clasping a game controller and his eyes fixed on the plasma screen. His opponent, Simon, knelt beside him. He seemed to think that the way he manoeuvred his tongue affected his performance, as he stuck it out to the side every time his virtual car came to a bend.
Chris was sitting next to me on the sofa. He was wearing a big black hoodie and seemed to be engrossed in the game. His brother, Pete, sat on the other end of the couch. He was a good-looking guy, probably about sixteen, with a piercing on his left eyebrow. He’d been texting constantly since his arrival. Fitz sat in an armchair in the corner rolling a spliff. This wasn’t exactly the crazy house party they’d predicted. But I guess it was pretty early.
‘When is Emily getting here?’ I asked.
‘Soon… I think,’ said David. He sounded nervous.
‘Do us a favour and go for it this time, will you?’ said Colin.
David looked embarrassed. ‘Yes, I will… probably,’ he said.
‘Shouldn’t be too hard,’ said Simon. ‘Everyone knows she’s easy.’
‘Hey!’ I shouted, not wanting to let him get away with that remark.
‘OH YEAH!’ exclaimed Colin as his car sped over the finish line in front of Simon’s.
‘Carla, I thought you were going out,’ said David as his fourteen-year-old sister came into the room. She had jet-black hair and was wearing a black corset dress and lots of eye make-up.
‘Nah, I thought this would be way more interesting.’
‘You’re so annoying,’ said David through gritted teeth.
‘Oh, and I invited Amanda over,’ added Carla, with a mischievous grin.
‘You know I hate that girl!’ said David. ‘You totally just did that to piss me off.’
Carla shrugged and walked out of the sitting room. David scrunched up his fists and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
‘This party needs some tunes,’ said Chris, getting out of his seat. He went over to the CD player next to me and began to check out David’s parents’ extensive music collection. Rory Gallagher was soon thundering out of the surround sound system. I loved Rory Gallagher; I had all his albums. I leaned over and scanned the rest of the collection. There was some U2, the Stones, the Cranberries. David’s parents had good taste.
‘Right, who wants to challenge the champion?’ asked Colin, dangling the spare controller above his head.
‘Go on then,’ said Fitz, handing his spliff to Chris. Nick hadn’t spoken one word in the last ten minutes. I watched him get up from his chair and walk out to the kitchen. The doorbell rang and David scurried to answer it.
Emily came into the sitting room, wearing a stunning short blue dress. She sat down on the couch next to me. David was wandering around looking nervous. For a moment it looked as if he was going to sit beside her, but then he turned round and hurried out the door. I wanted to talk to Nick, but the right time never seemed to arrive. I’d only sat on the couch to be in the same room as him.
‘I love your eye shadow, Emily,’ I said, trying to think about something else. It was dark blue and glittery, and matched her eyes. She looked very pretty.
‘Oh, thanks… I got it for my birthday.’
‘Do you want a drink?’ I asked her.
‘No, thanks, I don’t drink. I’ll have a few of those crisps though,’ she said, leaning over to get some from the bag on the table.
‘Where did David go?’ I asked.
‘Dunno, he was acting kind of weird,’ said Emily.
I smirked and nudged her. ‘That’s ’cause he’s really into you,’ I teased.
‘What? No, he’s not!’ she said, but I could tell she was happy to hear it.
‘Yeah, he is,’ Colin piped up. ‘Put him out of his misery, will you?’
I really liked that Colin could be so direct and friendly at the same time. And Emily seemed to be taking it well. I smiled to myself. I was beginning to feel comfortable with this group of new friends.
By eleven o’clock David’s fears had been realized. Most of the surrounding area’s teenage population had descended on the house. But he was concentrating so hard on impressing Emily that he didn’t have time to worry. So I started to worry for him. It’s not like I had anything better to do – I’d hardly seen Nick all night. I was starting to think that maybe he was avoiding me. He obviously wasn’t that interested after all. I convinced Chris that seeing if he could lift a plasma screen television with one hand wasn’t a good idea and I managed to direct a brown-haired girl to the bathroom before her beer came up to meet the carpet.
‘Jacki! Don’t worry about it,’ said Colin, as I tried to wrestle a crystal clock from Simon. I gave up and flopped down on the couch.
‘Here, put on something good,’ said a guy wearing a baseball cap in the corner.
‘What did you say?’ said Fitz.
‘I said put on something good!’ the guy shouted.
‘Do you know who this is?’ said Fitz, walking slowly towards him.
‘Eh… no.’ The guy looked kind of scared.
‘This is Rory Gallagher. An absolute legend. How dare you!’
‘Oh, right… sorry, man… It’s just this album has been on for ages.’ He was right – nobody had bothered to put on something different. I usually delighted in being the DJ, but I’d been too preoccupied with making sure David’s house didn’t get trashed.
‘Right, fine,’ said Fitz. ‘I’ll change it… any requests?’
‘Do they have any Thin Lizzy?’ asked Colin.
‘Think so,’ I said.
Colin gave me a wink as the intro to ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’ came on.
‘Ah, deadly!’ said David as he and Emily came into the sitting room.
‘Come on,’ shouted Colin, jumping up and holding out his hand.
‘No, it’s OK,’ I said. I wasn’t in the mood for dancing. I’d really thought something might happen between me and Nick, but that was looking unlikely now.
‘Jacki, don’t make me dance by myself!’
‘I don’t really feel like -’
‘Come on!’ Colin grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I gave in and danced with him. By the second verse almost everybody was up dancing and singing along, and for one tiny moment I didn’t care where Nick was.
When the song finished I sat down on the couch and Colin went to get us drinks. My eyes met those of Carla’s friend, Amanda, who was hovering awkwardly in the middle of the room.
‘Do you want to sit down?’ I asked her.
Turned out I was really going to regret that. She talked at me non-stop for ten minutes: ‘… we met at this random party and got on great and everything, and we made out for a while, but then the next week… he told me he loved me. I thought that was a bit weird. I mean, we’d been seeing each other for, like, a week. Don’t you find that weird? So obviously I said, “OK, thanks,” or whatever and then dumped him the next day by text. But anyway, yeah, that was him texting me there. He’s been practically stalking me ever since. Carla says to just ignore him and he’ll get bored with it, but it’s totally freaking me out. What if he gets obsessed with me or something?’ Amanda took a sip from her drink. I’d been listening to her love-life dilemmas for far too long. She’d gone into way too much detail and unfortunately I was trapped. Emily was nowhere to be seen, and some guy had nabbed Colin to fix the DVD player. And there was still no sign of Nick.
‘So… how do you know Carla?’ I said, eager to steer the conversation away from Amanda’s more personal activities.
‘I met her at Irish College last year and we stayed friends. She’s so nice. I haven’t seen much of her tonight though. She’s been with some guy most of the time. Do you have a boyfriend?’
‘No.’
‘Yeah, me neither. I’m enjoying it. It’s weird, ’cause I’m hardly ever single.’ Amanda tossed her hair over her shoulder. ‘So, think any of the guys here tonight are cute?’ she asked.
I looked around the room. Colin was kneeling on the floor in front of the television, with a guy whose name I couldn’t remember standing beside him. Chris was jumping on the table, chewing on a mouthful of nachos. Simon sat on the other couch, beside two pale-faced guys in the middle of an arm-wrestle.
‘Eh… no,’ I said.
‘That one’s kinda hot,’ she said, pointing over at Colin.
‘Oh, I wouldn’t say you’d have much luck with him,’ I said.
‘Tried, have you? I reckon I could get in there. No offence.’
‘Oh, none taken… I think you should definitely go for it then. His name is Colin. Excuse me, I just have to go and find my friend.’
I escaped to look for Emily and I found her pressed up against the wall, with David kissing her neck and running his hands through her hair. I was happy for them, but couldn’t help feeling down and a little envious at the same time. I just wished me and Nick were talking, let alone kissing. Life was just so unfair sometimes. I decided it was time to go home. I walked quickly past them, and up the stairs. Colin had put my jacket and bag in one of the bedrooms to keep them safe. I opened a few doors before I found the master bedroom with the coats all sprawled out on the bed. I spotted my leather jacket easily but couldn’t see my handbag anywhere. I’d begun to rummage through the coats when I heard somebody come in behind me. I turned round and to my complete surprise saw Nick slamming the door shut and locking it.
‘Hi,’ I said.
He jumped with fright. ‘Oh, Jacki, I didn’t see you there.’
‘What are you doing?’ I said.
‘Shhh,’ he whispered. ‘I’m hiding.’
I quickly checked my outfit to make sure I looked OK. I couldn’t believe we were alone. I love how unbelievably perfect moments can just pounce on you sometimes. Especially when you’ve almost given up hope.
‘Who from?’ I asked.
‘Nick!’ shouted a girl’s voice from the hall.
‘Is that Amanda?’ I said quietly.
‘You know her?’
‘Just met her. She’s a bit annoying.’ I was so glad Nick had locked the door. I couldn’t bear it if Amanda barged in and ruined our moment alone. I wondered if my make-up had worn off. It was pretty dark though, only the bedside lamps were on, so he probably wouldn’t notice.
‘She’s insane. The lads thought it would be funny to tell her that I fancied her. I’m going to kill them.’
‘She is very pretty.’
‘But she’s actually crazy. That cancels it out.’
Nick stepped away from the door. ‘What are you doing in here anyway? You’re not going, are you?’
‘Oh no… I was just, just getting something from my bag. I left it up here with my jacket.’
He sat down on the bed beside me. My eyes rested on the curls at the back of his neck. I breathed in his aftershave and felt a little shock when his leg touched mine.
‘I may never be able to leave this room,’ he whispered.
That’s OK by me, I thought to myself, my heart starting to thump.
‘I’ve hardly got to talk to you at all tonight,’ he said. ‘I’ve been trying to avoid that girl and she always seemed to be in the same room as you.’ So he hadn’t been ignoring me after all. It was such a relief to know that. Why did I always think the worst when it came to boys?
‘Did you want to talk to me about something?’ I asked.
‘Well, no, not really anything in particular, just, you know, chat.’ Nick pulled at a thread hanging from his torn denims.
‘OK,’ I said.
‘Sorry, I’m terrible at this.’
‘At what?’
‘Talking to girls who I like.’ He looked up at me.
That was it. I was officially in love.
Neither of us said anything for a moment. Then I moved a little closer. And he leaned forward and kissed me. In that moment nothing else in my life mattered. Anything that had gone before was just leading up to that soft, flawless kiss.
Nick gently pushed me back on the bed. We kissed again, more intense this time. I shivered slightly, a little bit from nerves, but mostly from excitement. It felt amazing. His hand brushed against my neck, and with each touch I became more lost in the moment. This incredible, magical moment. It was definitely my version of heaven. For a few seconds it was perfect. But then suddenly and for no reason I began to feel weird and everything changed. The atmosphere, the mood, everything. I could hear my own voice as if it didn’t belong to me; it sounded different: scared and nasty.
‘Get off me!’ I could hear myself saying.
‘What?’ said Nick.
‘Stop. Stop it!’
Nick backed away.
‘OK, OK, just calm dow-’
I could hear Nick’s confusion, but I couldn’t calm down – I was in pure panic.
‘Get off me!’
‘Jacki, I’m not on you! Will you stop shouting?’
I could hear him speak but I couldn’t answer. I felt as if I was no longer lying on the bed in the master bedroom. I was lying on a damp carpet of twigs and leaves out under a black sky, with a brutal, heavy body pushing down on me, and a sweaty hand groping the inside of my legs. I tried to push him away but he was much too strong. The body pushed down on me, harder and harder.
‘Is everything OK in there?’ shouted Colin from the other side of the door.
‘Yes.’ Nick’s voice was shaking. ‘Yes, every-’
‘Get off me! Get off! No, stop it, stop it!’
‘Jacki? Is that you?’ said Colin.
‘Get off me!’
‘Jacki, I’m not near you!’ said Nick. ‘Please stop. You’re scaring me. Please just calm -’
‘Get off me!’
The door rattled on its hinges as Colin slammed against it.
‘Nick, open this door now,’ he shouted.
‘Wait, just wait.’ Nick scurried off the bed.
There was a loud bang on the door.
The door rattled again. But it didn’t budge.
‘Jacki… listen to me,’ said Nick. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ He ran over to the door and tried to open the lock, but the key went tumbling to the floor.
‘For God’s sake,’ he mumbled.
There was another loud bang. The door swung open, hitting Nick hard in the face. He let out a howl of pain.
‘Jacki!’ Colin could see me jerking about on the bed, desperately trying to wrestle with the invisible attacker. ‘What did you do to her?’
I could still hear everything that Colin and Nick were saying. They couldn’t see my attacker, and I could only feel him.
‘I did NOTHING. I didn’t touch her!’ shouted Nick. Colin gave him a questioning look.
‘OK, we were just… well… you know… She wanted to! And then she just totally freaked!’
By this time a group of partiers were huddled at the door, all staring at me. Colin slammed it shut, abruptly blocking their view. Then he sat down on the bed and leaned over me.
“Get off me!’ I shouted.
‘Jacki,’ he said. Colin grabbed my wrist and this suddenly brought me back. I was back in reality, shivering uncontrollably.
‘I have to go,’ I said, sitting up. ‘I… I have to go now.’ I threw the coats off the bed until I found my bag, then ran from the room towards the stairs.
‘Jacki, where are you going?’ shouted Nick.
‘Home. I’m sorry. I have to get out of here now.’ I didn’t understand what had just happened, but I knew I needed to get away.
I rushed down the stairs and out the front door. Colin came running after me.
‘Jacki, wait. You can’t go by yourself. Wait there, I’ll get your jacket.’ Colin hurried back into the house.
I stared at my reflection in the passenger window of a car in the driveway. I was horribly pale. A burning sensation ripped through my skull. Things were getting out of hand. What had happened in that room was far worse than any headache or nightmare or vision. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to visit the healer as soon as possible. I might have refused to believe in that sort of stuff, but now I was desperate. I couldn’t deny it: something supernatural was happening.
That night I lay in my bed, trying to fight back the tears. My chances with Nick had been completely ruined. I’d been so close to him. We could have kissed more… and then he might have asked me on a date. But I’d ruined it. I’d ruined everything. Or rather something had ruined everything. Was it really something supernatural, whatever that might mean? I wished it was morning so I could ring Ger Rapple’s number.
When you die you are dead – that’s it. You rot into nothing and you are never coming back… Right?