Dr Ma-lee was in her mid-thirties and seemed happy in her work. She was slightly plump and wore round spectacles and there were framed photographs of her husband and three equally plump daughters either side of her computer. She was wearing a white coat and had a stethoscope hanging around her neck and she inhaled the steam from the cup of Chinese tea that she was holding as I sat down in her office. She’d called me in for a chat about what she would be doing to me in a few days. There were framed certificates on the wall behind her showing that she’d studied in Chicago and Seattle, which was reassuring.
‘Dr Wanlop explained what it is we’ll be doing?’ she asked, putting her cup down on its saucer.
‘A colonoscopy, just to check that my colon is okay,’ I said, trying to be as optimistic as possible.
‘Exactly,’ she said. ‘Basically there are two systems we can use. The latest device is in the form of a capsule containing a camera which the patient simply swallows. It works its way through the system and we then plug it into our computer and obtain a view of the entire alimentary canal.’
‘Sounds great,’ I said.
Well, maybe not great, but it sure sounded better than pushing a camera up the other way.
‘So, is that what you want to use?’
Her smile widened. Her teeth were slightly grey but perfectly even. ‘Actually, Khun Bob, I am more old school,’ she said. ‘I prefer the old-fashioned method.’
That didn’t sound so great, because old-fashioned basically involved shoving a camera up where the sun doesn’t shine.
I smiled. ‘Why’s that, Dr Ma-lee?’ I asked.
‘Two reasons, really,’ she said. ‘First, the capsule method really only allows us one pass. We see what we see and that’s the end of it. But with the camera I can spend as long as I need in there. I can view any problem from different angles which helps better to assess what needs to be done.’
‘Right,’ I said. ‘I see.’
I didn’t like the way she was talking about problems before she’d even started. I wanted her tell me that everything was going to be just fine, that there was nothing to worry about.
I didn’t want to hear about problems.
Or red flags.
Or cancer.
‘But the big advantage is that the equipment I use allows me to deal with any polyps that we find there and then. All the capsule does is tell us where there is a problem, we would then have to go back in and deal with it. So on balance, we’re better off doing it the old-fashioned away.’
I smiled but really I didn’t feel like smiling.
Before the colonoscopy had been an abstract procedure, but now it was a looming reality, and it wasn’t something that I was looking forward to. Not one bit.
‘And you understand there are preparations before we can do anything?’ she said, smiling and nodding.
Preparations?
That didn’t sound good.