There were half a dozen girls giggling at the reception desk when I got out of the elevator on the second floor. I was there for a battery of tests as part of a yearly health check. The sort of annual service that would cost you several grand back in the States and costs a couple of hundred at the Bumrungrad, and you’re waited on hand and foot every step of the way. A nurse who looked sixteen smile coyly and took me to a seat where a girl who could have been her twin took a blood sample that I swear to God caused me not one iota of discomfort. I don’t know if they used extra sharp needles or if the sight of two beautiful creatures in nurse’s uniforms dulled the pain, but I felt nothing.
I was taken to a waiting area where after five minutes another nurse apologised for the delay and gave me a coupon for a free cup of coffee or a portion of French fries. Two minutes later I was in to see the doctor who would be overseeing the tests.
Doctor Duangtip.
There was a battery of framed certificates on the wall behind him. Bangkok. London. San Francisco. You could buy similar certificates in any print shop in the Khao San Road, but his were the real thing. I’d been coming to see Doctor Duangtip every year for the past four years, so I knew the drill. A physical, blood tests, a cardiac test that had me running on a treadmill with electrodes strapped to my upper body, a chest X-ray and a lower abdomen ultrasound. Two days later a brief chat about the results and a suggestion that I should try cutting down on fatty foods and alcohol to lower my cholesterol. My cholesterol levels, good and bad, had remained a few per cent higher than average since I’d been having the yearly check-ups, and cutting back on fatty food and going to the gym three times a week hadn’t made any difference either way so I’d cancelled my gym membership and eaten what the hell I wanted.
Doctor Duangtip ran through my medical history and then sent me of for the first of the tests. I was totally relaxed.
I was fine.
I was fit.
I was healthy.
I was going to live forever.
Little did I know.